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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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See a specialist or continue TTC on our own - WWYD?
A little background: DH is 31 and I am 30. I have a 7 year old DS from a previous relationship, so I know I CAN have a successful full-term pregnancy (or did in the past at least).
In October I had an ectopic pregnancy that resulted in a partial tube removal. This was our first month back at TTC since the ectopic. Unfortunately, I suffered a chemical pregnancy this month.
In doing some research I'm seeing that chemical pregnancies, miscarriages, and subsequent ectopics are very common after having an initial ectopic. I feel like maybe we should be seeing an RE at this point to rule out tubal blockages or other issues, but DH thinks its too soon and we should just continue trying on our own for right now. I'm just concerned that if there is an underlying problem, trying on our own is just going to continue to be devastating to us month after month.
What would you do at this point?
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Posted 2/8/16 9:37 AM  |
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MrsB12614
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1986 total posts
Name:
Mrs
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See a specialist or continue TTC on our own - WWYD?
I would say do it- you never know. I have known since I was a teenager I had PCOS and would likely need help, however I still wanted to try on my own. I gave it a year made my RE apt and completed all the initial testing blood work HSG etc. DH did his semen analysis and blood work we went back for the follow up with results and a plan. I was expect ice what I heard for years- medication to get pregnant it shouldn't be an issue and BOOM like a ton of bricks DH has 0% morphology. My heart sunk and shattered. I was told IVF will likely be our only option. I could have died. DH does smoke and went cold turkey as of that appointment. They said smoking is the number 1 cause of this issue- however it could be other underlying causes. So our first thing is DH needing to be smoke free for 2 months then a repeat semen analysis. The point is you NEVER know. I always thought it was me- had I just kept checking and charting ovulation and thinking it will eventually happen if we are consistent I would have been here wondering what the heck. Or if I just took the clomid my GYN gave me- I would have taken medication for no reason not knowing DH had an issue- there was no way we could have known without a semen analysis.
I am so sorry you are going through this- it is not easy. But you do need to be on the same page. DH was apprehensive at first but I said I wanted to have my issues addressed- then he feared something would be up with him and it was- it shattered him. I would try and find out his rationale why he thinks you need to wait longer. You obviously have had some tough occurrences. At this point he may very well think he is the reason being you have a healthy DH from a previous relationship. However, be as supportive as you can. Let him know you are in this together no matter what and will make it through. I feel that a RE can only help and help you be realistic in this journey. Good luck and feel free to FM me!
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| Posted 2/8/16 10:22 AM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: See a specialist or continue TTC on our own - WWYD?
Personally, I would wait and try for another six months. You are able to get pregnant. It could have been and was hopefully just bad luck that you had these two losses. I have had two chemicals and two miscarriages, and my OB still said it's just bad luck and to continue trying on our own.
I would wait especially if your DH is apprehensive. Going to an RE and undergoing all the testing can be very stressful. You are young, so can hopefully afford to take just six months to see what happens. I wouldn't wait a full year though. Just my opinion.
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| Posted 2/8/16 10:29 AM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: See a specialist or continue TTC on our own - WWYD?
Posted by MrsB12614
I would say do it- you never know. I have known since I was a teenager I had PCOS and would likely need help, however I still wanted to try on my own. I gave it a year made my RE apt and completed all the initial testing blood work HSG etc. DH did his semen analysis and blood work we went back for the follow up with results and a plan. I was expect ice what I heard for years- medication to get pregnant it shouldn't be an issue and BOOM like a ton of bricks DH has 0% morphology. My heart sunk and shattered. I was told IVF will likely be our only option. I could have died. DH does smoke and went cold turkey as of that appointment. They said smoking is the number 1 cause of this issue- however it could be other underlying causes. So our first thing is DH needing to be smoke free for 2 months then a repeat semen analysis. The point is you NEVER know. I always thought it was me- had I just kept checking and charting ovulation and thinking it will eventually happen if we are consistent I would have been here wondering what the heck. Or if I just took the clomid my GYN gave me- I would have taken medication for no reason not knowing DH had an issue- there was no way we could have known without a semen analysis.
I am so sorry you are going through this- it is not easy. But you do need to be on the same page. DH was apprehensive at first but I said I wanted to have my issues addressed- then he feared something would be up with him and it was- it shattered him. I would try and find out his rationale why he thinks you need to wait longer. You obviously have had some tough occurrences. At this point he may very well think he is the reason being you have a healthy DH from a previous relationship. However, be as supportive as you can. Let him know you are in this together no matter what and will make it through. I feel that a RE can only help and help you be realistic in this journey. Good luck and feel free to FM me!
I think the main reason DH thinks we should wait is because we technically have only been TTC since September. We got pregnant on the very first try in September (even though it ended in an ectopic) and then on the very first try this month. I think he feels like they are both fluke incidents and we are getting pregnant no problem so we should keep trying and if it continues to happen then maybe there is a pattern.
I don't entirely disagree...many people try for years and years. But I also don't think it's a fluke or a coincidence that both pregnancies ended the way they did. I have a feeling there is endo in my tube or damage and scarring from when my left tube burst.
Message edited 2/8/2016 10:30:52 AM.
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| Posted 2/8/16 10:30 AM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: See a specialist or continue TTC on our own - WWYD?
Do you have coverage for a RE? If so I would probably set up an appointment sooner rather than later, some RE's depending on who you see have a wait. It can't hurt to have a consult to see what approach the RE would take. That's JMO though.
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| Posted 2/8/16 11:21 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: See a specialist or continue TTC on our own - WWYD?
Sometimes it takes quite awhile to even get an RE appointment. I don't see the harm in speaking to someone and setting something up, even if it's 3 months from now. For me, I hate feeling helpless- so even just knowing that I'm doing something and being proactive would make me feel better. God willing, you won't even make it to the appointment! Good luck!!!  
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| Posted 2/8/16 11:22 AM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: See a specialist or continue TTC on our own - WWYD?
Posted by JDubs
Do you have coverage for a RE? If so I would probably set up an appointment sooner rather than later, some RE's depending on who you see have a wait. It can't hurt to have a consult to see what approach the RE would take. That's JMO though.
I honestly don't know. I guess I have to check our plan 
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| Posted 2/8/16 11:23 AM |
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Re: See a specialist or continue TTC on our own - WWYD?
Posted by HomeIsWithU
Posted by JDubs
Do you have coverage for a RE? If so I would probably set up an appointment sooner rather than later, some RE's depending on who you see have a wait. It can't hurt to have a consult to see what approach the RE would take. That's JMO though.
I honestly don't know. I guess I have to check our plan
Yes check your plan first but I would try another month maybe two and the. Go see an RE, because like you said if there is any problems/complications you don't want to keep losing babies and you can get some answers. Good luck in whatever decision you make!
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| Posted 2/8/16 11:58 AM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: See a specialist or continue TTC on our own - WWYD?
So you got pg first month TTC and it was an ectopic.
Then second month TTC you had a chemical?
If that's the case, I'd TTC for 4 more months. To me, it sounds like 2 months of bad luck, but it seems you can get pg easily. I bet you'll have luck on your own. I also predict if you see an RE now, s/he will tell you to TTC on your own a few more months before coming back. You're young, so I'd give it a few more months.
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| Posted 2/8/16 1:26 PM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: See a specialist or continue TTC on our own - WWYD?
Posted by NYCGirl80
So you got pg first month TTC and it was an ectopic.
Then second month TTC you had a chemical?
If that's the case, I'd TTC for 4 more months. To me, it sounds like 2 months of bad luck, but it seems you can get pg easily. I bet you'll have luck on your own. I also predict if you see an RE now, s/he will tell you to TTC on your own a few more months before coming back. You're young, so I'd give it a few more months.
Thanks for your response. That's kind of what DH is thinking too. I called my OB just to notify him of the chemical pregnancy this weekend but my guess is he will probably say its just bad luck twice. I'm less concerned about the chemical and more concerned about another ectopic occurring. That's really what's making me think about an RE. I have a major fear that it will happen again.
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| Posted 2/8/16 1:42 PM |
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VickiC
Rocking the party
Member since 5/05 4937 total posts
Name:
Vicki
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Re: See a specialist or continue TTC on our own - WWYD?
Posted by HomeIsWithU
Posted by NYCGirl80
So you got pg first month TTC and it was an ectopic.
Then second month TTC you had a chemical?
If that's the case, I'd TTC for 4 more months. To me, it sounds like 2 months of bad luck, but it seems you can get pg easily. I bet you'll have luck on your own. I also predict if you see an RE now, s/he will tell you to TTC on your own a few more months before coming back. You're young, so I'd give it a few more months.
Thanks for your response. That's kind of what DH is thinking too. I called my OB just to notify him of the chemical pregnancy this weekend but my guess is he will probably say its just bad luck twice. I'm less concerned about the chemical and more concerned about another ectopic occurring. That's really what's making me think about an RE. I have a major fear that it will happen again.
When you get PG again, your doctor will bring you in immediately to make sure the egg has implanted in the correct spot since you've had a previous ectopic pregnancy. It would never get as far as your first ectopic bc they are aware of it now. I also suggest to lay off the testing until you are actually late. Sometimes it takes the pressure off of you too - counting the days until testing makes you crazy sometimes and seeing a constant BFN makes you (general you) sad.
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| Posted 2/8/16 2:35 PM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: See a specialist or continue TTC on our own - WWYD?
I would keep trying on your own for now. I'm older (36) so my OB mentioned that if I didn't get pregnant after trying for another 4-5 after my ectopic, I should call her and she can see if there's something going on with my tube. Give it a few more months and see what happens. Good luck!
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| Posted 2/8/16 5:30 PM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: See a specialist or continue TTC on our own - WWYD?
I would continue trying for another couple of months before seeing an RE. You have only been trying since September and have gotten pregnant 2 times!
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| Posted 2/8/16 6:18 PM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: See a specialist or continue TTC on our own - WWYD?
Thank you all for your responses. I called my OB just to let him know what happened. He originally was going to run my betas but considering I got AF already, we decided not to since my betas would have had to be back at 0 in order to get AF. He told us we can try again this cycle and suggested that we would take a look at my tube within the next few months if we experience another loss.
I feel better just knowing that he's aware of what happened.
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| Posted 2/9/16 9:36 AM |
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IUIGirl
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/14 852 total posts
Name:
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Re: See a specialist or continue TTC on our own - WWYD?
Posted by HomeIsWithU
Thank you all for your responses. I called my OB just to let him know what happened. He originally was going to run my betas but considering I got AF already, we decided not to since my betas would have had to be back at 0 in order to get AF. He told us we can try again this cycle and suggested that we would take a look at my tube within the next few months if we experience another loss.
I feel better just knowing that he's aware of what happened.
That's very good, best of luck!!
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| Posted 2/9/16 10:03 AM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: See a specialist or continue TTC on our own - WWYD?
Good news. Good Luck! 
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| Posted 2/9/16 7:52 PM |
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Re: See a specialist or continue TTC on our own - WWYD?
Good news! Good luck and hopefully you won't to see and RE
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| Posted 2/12/16 11:33 AM |
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