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shazza211
My life is complete
Member since 9/07 1580 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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DS was injured...wwyd
About two and a half weeks ago my soon to be eight year old son had a play date with a friend at our house. This friend of his is not only a classmate but they play on the same sports teams (both of which my husband coaches) and are in the same clubs.
Anyway, the play date was coming to an end and the boys went to play wiffle ball in my front yard. When the boy's father came to pick him up he walked to our house with his dog. My husband was looking to end the wiffle ball play since the play date was over and we had other plans but the father insisted they keep playing for a few more minutes. With this he let his dog off the leash on our property. My son went to catch the ball that was hit but so did the dog. The dog and my son collided and my son's mouth was ripped open at the corner. My husband and the father thought they butted heads but my son, once able to talk, said the dogs mouth hit his mouth and the teeth caught his lip.
We took him to PM pediatrics where the doctor told us that if we did not get a plastic surgeon to repair it his smile would be disfigured. As you can imagine, the entire ordeal was horrifying. My son was put in a tremendous amount of pain and to make matters worse he has a penicillin allergy and had to take a ton of nasty tasting antibiotics three times a day for ten days. Just getting him to take the meds was a battle.
Since his communion was coming up I had to postpone the photographer we had scheduled to take pictures the week prior to the event. I still have yet to reschedule, and his communion was a week ago today, due to some swelling and scarring we are hoping will lessen over the next few weeks.
Here's my problem...I am furious with this family. On top of all of the pain and meds and stitches my son had his April break ruined, all plans cancelled due to restricted activity. He dealt with teasing when returning to school because of his stitches and the facial cream that had to be applied to the area he was also teased about being told he looked like he was always "drooling". He has missed out on his team games for soccer and baseball and gym or outdoor recess for two weeks..which in his mind was two years.
Besides a text message the day of the accident asking how he was, and the wife inquiring at baseball games how he's doing since he's not been able to attend and she's been their to watch her son, and a hand written card by the boy saying "I hope you feel better" they have done absolutely nothing. They have know idea what our doctor bills have been. They only provided vaccination history on the dog after being asked. And the father who caused the accident has never inquired after our son once and he sees my husband at every game and practice. He also insists it was a headbut.
If the roles were reversed, I would have been at that boys house with balloons a clown and a cotton candy machine on top of asking in what way I could help out with any bills and handing over my dogs records without having to be asked.
The irony is, we often have play dates at our house because my husband does not want our kids playing at homes with strange dogs and this one came to us...uninvited.
This morning will be the first time I am seeing this family as my son now has clearance to play ball today. I could not sleep last night because I am so angry at how they have handled the situation. I have now known the father for the past two baseball seasons and I have found him to be condescending and a know it all. He wasn't our favorite person to begin with but we have overlooked it because the boys are good friends. I am not a hot head but I am in Momma Bear mode right now and ready to give these two parents a piece of my mind.
How would you handle this if it were you?
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Posted 5/14/16 8:36 AM  |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
That is a tough one. Your baby was injured and you are furious. I understand the need to lash out and make someone pay. I would feel the same.
i think first you need to decide what you want from them and what kind of relationship (if any) you want to keep.
Does your son blame them? Does he still want to be friends with the boy?
It seems like the mom reached out to you a few times. Other than asking how your son is doing, i'm not sure what else you want from her. a hand-written card from the boy seems like a very nice touch.
From what you described, it does not sound like the dog bit your son or got aggressive with him. It sounds like an accident that unfortunately has some awful consequences.
if your son wants to stay friends with this boy, set up better ground rules for play dates, be extra careful and move on.
if he does not want to stay friends, give them the cold shoulder and ignore them.
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| Posted 5/14/16 10:02 AM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by Mags1227
That is a tough one. Your baby was injured and you are furious. I understand the need to lash out and make someone pay. I would feel the same.
i think first you need to decide what you want from them and what kind of relationship (if any) you want to keep.
Does your son blame them? Does he still want to be friends with the boy?
It seems like the mom reached out to you a few times. Other than asking how your son is doing, i'm not sure what else you want from her. a hand-written card from the boy seems like a very nice touch.
From what you described, it does not sound like the dog bit your son or got aggressive with him. It sounds like an accident that unfortunately has some awful consequences.
if your son wants to stay friends with this boy, set up better ground rules for play dates, be extra careful and move on.
if he does not want to stay friends, give them the cold shoulder and ignore them.
I was trying to find a way to respond, and this is exactly it. I understand your anger, but it seems like an unfortunate accident.
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| Posted 5/14/16 10:23 AM |
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shazza211
My life is complete
Member since 9/07 1580 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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DS was injured...wwyd
I appreciate your responses and you are right I am angry. I feel it was an accident that could have been avoided if he didn't take his dog off the leash. Why show up at my home with your dog....how do you know my kids aren't afraid of dogs...I guess I'm just looking for some more accountibilty on his end. Perhaps I'm expecting too much...it's been hard to look at this objectively so I appreciate the feedback.
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| Posted 5/14/16 10:34 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
I think it was an accident. No one meant any harm. And skin can split just from colliding, does not mean the teeth of the dog got him. I honestly think as unfortunate as it is, it was something that needs to be chalked up to being an accident.
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| Posted 5/14/16 2:43 PM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
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ETC I LOVE YOU
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by Goobster
I think it was an accident. No one meant any harm. And skin can split just from colliding, does not mean the teeth of the dog got him. I honestly think as unfortunate as it is, it was something that needs to be chalked up to being an accident.
This! Im sorry this happened
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| Posted 5/14/16 3:19 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by Goobster
I think it was an accident. No one meant any harm. And skin can split just from colliding, does not mean the teeth of the dog got him. I honestly think as unfortunate as it is, it was something that needs to be chalked up to being an accident.
This exactly. I don't know what else the mom can do to be honest. Aside from offering to pay your doctor bills, which I honestly don't think they have a responsibility to pay, but it sounds like you do?
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| Posted 5/14/16 4:03 PM |
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shazza211
My life is complete
Member since 9/07 1580 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by Goobster
I think it was an accident. No one meant any harm. And skin can split just from colliding, does not mean the teeth of the dog got him. I honestly think as unfortunate as it is, it was something that needs to be chalked up to being an accident.
This exactly. I don't know what else the mom can do to be honest. Aside from offering to pay your doctor bills, which I honestly don't think they have a responsibility to pay, but it sounds like you do? [/QUOTE
The point here was not at all about compensation. It seems you misunderstood my true frustrations. I would have handled things differently if the shoe was on the other foot.
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| Posted 5/14/16 4:39 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by shazza211
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by Goobster
I think it was an accident. No one meant any harm. And skin can split just from colliding, does not mean the teeth of the dog got him. I honestly think as unfortunate as it is, it was something that needs to be chalked up to being an accident.
This exactly. I don't know what else the mom can do to be honest. Aside from offering to pay your doctor bills, which I honestly don't think they have a responsibility to pay, but it sounds like you do? [/QUOTE
The point here was not at all about compensation. It seems you misunderstood my true frustrations. I would have handled things differently if the shoe was on the other foot.
How though? What else can she do? She reached out, her kid made a card? I just don't know what else you are looking for?
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| Posted 5/14/16 5:26 PM |
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shazza211
My life is complete
Member since 9/07 1580 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by shazza211
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by Goobster
I think it was an accident. No one meant any harm. And skin can split just from colliding, does not mean the teeth of the dog got him. I honestly think as unfortunate as it is, it was something that needs to be chalked up to being an accident.
This exactly. I don't know what else the mom can do to be honest. Aside from offering to pay your doctor bills, which I honestly don't think they have a responsibility to pay, but it sounds like you do? [/QUOTE
The point here was not at all about compensation. It seems you misunderstood my true frustrations. I would have handled things differently if the shoe was on the other foot.[/QUOTE
How though? What else can she do? She reached out, her kid made a card? I just don't know what else you are looking for?
So you've been through something similar then?
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| Posted 5/14/16 5:41 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
I also want to add, my cousin broke his ear drum from colliding with another head jumping in a swimming pool. Force of bodies hitting (whether it be dog or person) can cause any kind of damage.
Honestly, if I were them, I would not be sending balloons and a clown and cotton candy (like you said), etc. I think what they did was sufficient. I don't see why they would provide dog's records, does not seem likely the injury was from the dog biting or even his teeth (likely just the impact that caused the injury). It seems very over the top for something that is just an accident and bad timing.
Message edited 5/14/2016 5:56:44 PM.
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| Posted 5/14/16 5:54 PM |
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shazza211
My life is complete
Member since 9/07 1580 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by Goobster
I also want to add, my cousin broke his ear drum from colliding with another head jumping in a swimming pool. Force of bodies hitting (whether it be dog or person) can cause any kind of damage.
Honestly, if I were them, I would not be sending balloons and a clown and cotton candy (like you said), etc. I think what they did was sufficient. I don't see why they would provide dog's records, does not seem likely the injury was from the dog biting or even his teeth (likely just the impact that caused the injury). It seems very over the top for something that is just an accident and bad timing.
Point noted...again I react differently. Bad timing is not how I see the situation...the dog should not have been at my house to begin with and should have been kept on the leash. Again thank you for all the feedback.
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| Posted 5/14/16 6:28 PM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
Name:
A.K.
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
While I agree that the parents seem to be a bit more lackadaisical about it than I would have been....I do feel it was an accident and that they didn't "cause it," per se. However, if it were my son I would be unbelievably upset and mad at the consequences you and your poor son had to go through, and quite frankly not sure I could get over it enough to ever warm up to the family again.
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| Posted 5/14/16 7:31 PM |
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shazza211
My life is complete
Member since 9/07 1580 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by ChilisWife
While I agree that the parents seem to be a bit more lackadaisical about it than I would have been....I do feel it was an accident and that they didn't "cause it," per se. However, if it were my son I would be unbelievably upset and mad at the consequences you and your poor son had to go through, and quite frankly not sure I could get over it enough to ever warm up to the family again.
Thank you for saying this....this is exactly how I feel
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| Posted 5/14/16 7:37 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
I am a really laid back mom, so I wouldn't be nearly as upset as you are. Well, at least not at the other parents. I would of course be upset that my son was hurt, but I wouldn't be blaming the other family, which you clearly are. I think the phone call, the follow up, and card from the child was more then sufficient.
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| Posted 5/14/16 8:35 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7993 total posts
Name:
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by ChilisWife
While I agree that the parents seem to be a bit more lackadaisical about it than I would have been....I do feel it was an accident and that they didn't "cause it," per se. However, if it were my son I would be unbelievably upset and mad at the consequences you and your poor son had to go through, and quite frankly not sure I could get over it enough to ever warm up to the family again.
just wondering, I understand feeling upset, but you really couldn't get over it, even though it was a true accident and not intentional.
Growing up everyone I knew had some kind of accident at some point its part of growing up, at times caused by friends but they were accidents.
Message edited 5/14/2016 8:41:24 PM.
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| Posted 5/14/16 8:40 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7993 total posts
Name:
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by Mags1227
That is a tough one. Your baby was injured and you are furious. I understand the need to lash out and make someone pay. I would feel the same.
i think first you need to decide what you want from them and what kind of relationship (if any) you want to keep.
Does your son blame them? Does he still want to be friends with the boy?
It seems like the mom reached out to you a few times. Other than asking how your son is doing, i'm not sure what else you want from her. a hand-written card from the boy seems like a very nice touch.
From what you described, it does not sound like the dog bit your son or got aggressive with him. It sounds like an accident that unfortunately has some awful consequences.
if your son wants to stay friends with this boy, set up better ground rules for play dates, be extra careful and move on.
if he does not want to stay friends, give them the cold shoulder and ignore them.
OP I am sorry your son had to deal with pain and stitches. I do agree with all the above but for the last part, ignoring them
I think that's the wrong lesson to teach kids, the parents did reach out, maybe not to the degree you would have liked, or you might have done.
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| Posted 5/14/16 8:44 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
I'm honestly shocked that all the previous posters do not relate to the OP's point.
I would feel the exact same way as the OP. I think that father had a LOT of nerve to first of all bring his dog to your home, but then to release the dog from the leash was extremely irresponsible and rude. (I will say I am not a dog or animal lover, so maybe that has something to do with my reaction).
I do not want someone's pet running around on my property especially around my children, who have multiple allergies and my youngest is afraid of dogs.
I think the family should have done more, like the father personally apologizing for his lack of judgement and offering to split the medical costs with you. Frankly, this accident would not have happened if the father exercised proper judgement and kept his dog in the car or at the very least, on a leash.
OP- I am so sorry your DS was injured! That is just awful.
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| Posted 5/14/16 9:34 PM |
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Annie91606
Brotherly love
Member since 12/07 1816 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
I am so sorry this happened to your son!! I hope he heals quickly.
It was an accident, however, it was caused by the negligence of the father. He had no business taking the dog off the leash on your property!!! I would not be mad at the wife or the son, but at him. Meanwhile, it doesn't sound like he ever apologized to you himself.
I would feel AWFUL if my husband's carelessness caused another little boy to be hurt like that.
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| Posted 5/14/16 9:35 PM |
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Annie91606
Brotherly love
Member since 12/07 1816 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by Chai77
I'm honestly shocked that all the previous posters do not relate to the OP's point.
I would feel the exact same way as the OP. I think that father had a LOT of nerve to first of all bring his dog to your home, but then to release the dog from the leash was extremely irresponsible and rude. (I will say I am not a dog or animal lover, so maybe that has something to do with my reaction).
I do not want someone's pet running around on my property especially around my children, who have multiple allergies and my youngest is afraid of dogs.
I think the family should have done more, like the father personally apologizing for his lack of judgement and offering to split the medical costs with you. Frankly, this accident would not have happened if the father exercised proper judgement and kept his dog in the car or at the very least, on a leash.
OP- I am so sorry your DS was injured! That is just awful.
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| Posted 5/14/16 9:36 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Sorry for your child. Lip stitches stink. We went through that ordeal this year with our DD. Plastic surgeon, ER visit, sutures, face cream (no activity restrictions though). She simply tripped. She was still only 3 (imagine stitching a screaming 3 year old).
To say you don't want dogs off leash on your property is OK.... But the injury wasn't instantaneous & you or your family could have expressed concern about the dog being off the leash before the accident.
It was an accident. The dog didn't bite (if he did, it would be a different conversation).
They are not responsible for your medical bills.
Him missing games & being picked on by other kids & taking medicine that tastes bad is not their fault.
They texted you & wrote a card.
Let it go.
You don't have to be their friends or do play dates... But it was an accident.
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| Posted 5/14/16 11:19 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
It sounds like a really bad accident. If you did not want the dog in your home or backyard why didn't you say something to the dad? I am truly sorry that your son was hurt. Lip and mouth stitches are awful. My brother had 32 of them when he was about the same age. I remember how awful it was for him. But I do think what the family did, text, and card is enough. I don't think anyone would really be over with a magician and cotton candy. I understand you are upset, but the person you should be mad at is the dad, not the kid or mom. I do understand if you would limit play dates though.
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| Posted 5/15/16 7:44 AM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
I agree with what almost everyone else has said. It was an accident and I think the family has done enough towards showing they feel bad. It's horrible what happened but I think your anger is misplaced and what you are expecting is a bit much.
I know how you feel, my son suffered an orbital fracture when he and some friends were horsing around. It was clearly one boys "fault" and the fault of the parent who was watching and should have stopped it. Same situation, $2000 hospital bill, 6 week activity restriction in the heart of summer, antibiotics, no communion pics, I could go on and on and it was a more serious injury than your son. In a million years I would never expect the other family to offer or think of offering to pay for the medical bills or to show up with a cotton candy machine. Heck, I didn't even get what you got from the family and I didn't hold a grudge and we are still friendly. It sucks that it happened and was preventable but, again, I think your reaction isn't the norm.
Message edited 5/15/2016 9:03:35 AM.
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| Posted 5/15/16 9:02 AM |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by Chai77
I'm honestly shocked that all the previous posters do not relate to the OP's point.
I would feel the exact same way as the OP. I think that father had a LOT of nerve to first of all bring his dog to your home, but then to release the dog from the leash was extremely irresponsible and rude. (I will say I am not a dog or animal lover, so maybe that has something to do with my reaction).
I do not want someone's pet running around on my property especially around my children, who have multiple allergies and my youngest is afraid of dogs.
I think the family should have done more, like the father personally apologizing for his lack of judgement and offering to split the medical costs with you. Frankly, this accident would not have happened if the father exercised proper judgement and kept his dog in the car or at the very least, on a leash.
OP- I am so sorry your DS was injured! That is just awful.
I don't think we don't relate, but we are trying to nicely say something which is difficult to say. we all feel terrible for son and we all know how difficult and traumatic that experience can be.
my original answer was a diplomatic answer.
here's my honest thoughts ALONG with that original:
why did your husband, who was supervising this play date, allow the dog on your property in the first place? why did he allow the other guy to let his dog off the leash? the second that it looked like the owner was going to let the dog off the leash, i would have been forbidding it. it sounds like your husband did none of those things.
i'm sure that dog has played with children plenty of times and is not dangerous. if you did not feel comfortable, you should have said something. It's YOUR house, YOUR rules.
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| Posted 5/15/16 9:56 AM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: DS was injured...wwyd
Posted by Mags1227
Posted by Chai77
I'm honestly shocked that all the previous posters do not relate to the OP's point.
I would feel the exact same way as the OP. I think that father had a LOT of nerve to first of all bring his dog to your home, but then to release the dog from the leash was extremely irresponsible and rude. (I will say I am not a dog or animal lover, so maybe that has something to do with my reaction).
I do not want someone's pet running around on my property especially around my children, who have multiple allergies and my youngest is afraid of dogs.
I think the family should have done more, like the father personally apologizing for his lack of judgement and offering to split the medical costs with you. Frankly, this accident would not have happened if the father exercised proper judgement and kept his dog in the car or at the very least, on a leash.
OP- I am so sorry your DS was injured! That is just awful.
I don't think we don't relate, but we are trying to nicely say something which is difficult to say. we all feel terrible for son and we all know how difficult and traumatic that experience can be.
my original answer was a diplomatic answer.
here's my honest thoughts ALONG with that original:
why did your husband, who was supervising this play date, allow the dog on your property in the first place? why did he allow the other guy to let his dog off the leash? the second that it looked like the owner was going to let the dog off the leash, i would have been forbidding it. it sounds like your husband did none of those things.
i'm sure that dog has played with children plenty of times and is not dangerous. if you did not feel comfortable, you should have said something. It's YOUR house, YOUR rules.
I assumed the way the OP wrote it that the father let the dog off the leash and it immediately took off and collided with her DS. That probably happened in a split second. If that's the case, I don't see how it is the OPs DH's fault at all. I blame the other father 100%. He was negligent letting his dog off the leash on someone else's property without permission. Why didn't he ask first? He sounds really nervy to me.
Also someone said why does the OP even need the dog's medical records. The dog's teeth broke through her son's skin! Thought not an intentional bite, the dogs saliva was in her sons mouth and wound! I don't blame the OP at all!
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| Posted 5/15/16 10:40 AM |
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