Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice UPDATED!!!

I have the opportunity to accept a position that would be AMAZING for my career. Exactly in line with my career goals, really interesting work, high prestige, good salary. Really the ONLY downsides are that I would be commuting to the city (which I've done and would prefer not to do, but this is kind of a once in a lifetime opportunity) AND it would mean taking a much more career oriented focus. Up until now I've really worked jobs that allowed me to have an awesome work-life balance, but the jobs bored me and I ended up jumping around every couple years. This would be a CAREER move, but would mean less time at home. Any other mamas who really focused on their career and are happy they did? I don't know what I'm looking for exactly...I'm just really torn. I want to take this job, I think I'll be happy, but then I feel guilt over choosing to spend less time at home with my kids.

UPDATE:

After I declined the offer and explained my reasons, the managing partner called me.

So. She was really understanding of my concerns and wanted to make a new offer. It would now be a 30 hour a week position, with the option to work from home/the LI office a day a week, as well as some cushion time with my hours/working from home after my (now 8 week) maternity. They really want me, they think this could be a very long term relationship, and she wants to make it work. She also told me that there is a computer in the pumping room so that I can work while pumping and don't need to count the time as break time.

Message edited 8/10/2016 5:15:12 PM.

Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

Try it.
You can always go back!

Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

I haven't made the move yet, but my husband and I have discussed me doing so if the right position came about...I am only willing to do it if my husband agrees to step back in his business and be present more at home, like I am right now. That would essential mean him only working school hours and taking over the after school activities. I am not sure how we would balance our children's lives without one of us stepping back, unless we hired live in help.

Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

I think the bigger factor is whether you can turn work "off" when you're at home with your kids, as opposed to amount of time with them. In other words, quality over quantity. I am in support of women striving to be all they can and want to be, because I think it's a powerful model for your kids.

Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

If your husband has the flexibility to be more active at home then you should take the position.

Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

I agree, I would take it. If your DH has the flexibility and can take on a more active role, then yes you should do it.

This is how we are now. I work 3 days a week in the city and 2 days at home. Doing so has allowed me to grow and be happy where I am. Do I miss my DS, of course I do. Is he miserable, absolutely not. He's either with my in-laws or with DH and he's getting all the love and attention that he wants and needs. When I get home, its all about him and we make the most of the 2 hours before he goes to bed.

Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

I think for me it would depend how many hours a day this job would keep me away from home. I'm out of the house 10 hours a day between work & commuting but that's what I've always done since having kids. Longer than that would be my breaking point because I need to be able to spend several hours at night with them every night before they go to bed... that's really important to me. But what you're comfortable with is different for everyone. In your situation, if you think that job is a good career move & would make you happier in general, give it a shot. Can you go back to what you're doing now if it turns out to be too much?

Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

I work in the city and have since before my DS. It's not bad at all. Believe me I have bad commute days but mostly I am on a train at 7 am and hime by 630 pm.

We have always had DS on a schedule where he is up before I leave and bed about 9 pm so I have tons of time with him. We all eat dinner together and even hve play time.

It's really about how you set it up and spend the time when you get home. I don't worry about how the house looks during the week etc. because we both work we go with the theory " quality over quantity". I don't get tons of time with my son but I try to make the best out of the time I have.

I would not be able to work on LI and be happy or make as much money so for me there was never a choice.

Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

How many hours a day would you be out of the house ?

Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

I think i would do it if my DH had a flexible schedule and could be home with the kids. Also if I could WFH a few days that would be a bonus too.

Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

Also worth mentioning that it's a Jewish agency (very, very large nonprofit - you probably have heard of it) so in addition to all legal holidays, they close for all the Jewish holidays and close early on Fridays.

Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

Go for it!

You are lucky that your DH works close and has flexibility.

Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

I work in the city and have a pretty high-stress job that requires a lot of hours both in and out of the office. I always have. DH works FT too, but leaves earlier in the AM than me and is home earlier. DD is 6, but it's been like this since before she was born. I make more than 2Xs DHs salary, so we make it work for us. I do mornings, but getting everything ready the night before. We use before and after care now that she is in school. (we used to have a nanny).
He picks her up and feeds her dinner and then waits for me to get home to eat- usually around 7PM, but occasionally later. When I come home, I make time for DD- reading, bath, playing, bedtime. Once she goes to bed around 830- I'm back on email/phones taking care of work. I do have the opportunity to work from home often and do so at least 1 or 2 times a week. DH has always been really helpful at home- we both cook/clean, etc. He's also off on Fridays, so he gets a lot done then, so that our weekends are free to spend time together.
I'm happy with my decision- that's the kind of person I am- I don't have a job, I have a career- that I worked hard for and I'm proud of it. Dh is very supportive, although he does get aggravated at times. Finding the balance is hard and there are time I get little sleep and survive on coffee- but honestly, I thrive on that and wouldn't want it any other way. It really allows me to appreciate the time I have with DD and DH and we try to plan weekend trips (that's my one rule, I don't work weekends - although I've been known to do it to catch myself up if there is time LOL) and I really enjoy and appreciate our vacations. I say go for it- you can always stop if it doesn't work for you.

Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

I agree with everyone above. I think it's a GREAT opportunity and if you have the means to do so with your DH's schedule, that's amazing and for me would be Bashert! You'll be setting an example for your children and it seems like doing something that you are excited about.

Is it guilt that is stopping you? Please don't feel guilty! We go to school and work on our careers to get an opportunity like you have right now. Be proud that are have gotten to this point at such a young age. Hard work and dedication are paying off! This opportunity can give your family more than you expected when starting the family. And instead of bouncing from place to place, you'll be more steady. I'm currently out of the house from 6:15AM until 6PM, sometimes more. It really isn't terrible and with the flexibility of eventually working from home, major holidays, early Fridays, and Jewish holidays it seems like the pros outweigh the cons.

Good luck and congrats on the opportunity. Whether you take it or not, is still an accomplishment!

Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

out of the house 10 - 10.5 hours a day isn't bad at all.
I work in the city and door to door I'm about 11.5-12 hours ......

As the kids get older, I'm finding it more difficult b/c I have to juggle sports, and their friends, and social stuff and school stuff, it's not as simple as drop off/pick up @ daycare and come w/ me where ever we go after that ..........KWIM? But it's ABSOLUTELY do-able, expecially for a position youi seem to be really excited about.
Worse case scenario, you decide it's not worth it, and you make another move.
I'd DEFINITELY try it out though

ETA - I also manage it w/ a DH who also works very long hours in the city ....so, while it's not for everyone, it's not impossible. If your husband is available to pick up the slack, AND you know WAH is a possibility, even occassionally, to me, that's a no brainer! Go for it !! Good Luck!!

Message edited 8/9/2016 1:53:37 PM.

Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice

Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice