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MrsE323
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/13 530 total posts
Name:
M
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Working Moms - Need Advice
So in my touch-base meeting with my boss yesterday I had planned to let him know I am pregnant. I have been nervous because I am a manager now and have a lot more responsibility than during my first maternity leave. Long story short the meeting starts and he informs me that he is meeting with the CFO and the head of HR next week to review my compensation package because he feels I am below market value and wants to get me a raise. It is VERY rare at my company to get a raise mid-year not during your annual review so this is very big that he is doing this for me. He is proposing a 15% raise. I was blindsided by this and of course very thankful but it totally threw me off my game and I did not tell him about the pregnancy. Now for my question... do I wait until after his meeting to see the outcome before I tell him? or do I still move forward and tell him now? I know pregnancy is not SUPPOSED to impact decisions like this for a company but I cant help but think it might weigh into their decision. Any thoughts? Oh and I am already 16 weeks if that matters. Thanks ladies!
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Posted 1/5/17 8:47 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
Ugh tough choice- that would've thrown me for a loop, too.
On the one hand, waiting a week isn't going to make much of a difference. On the other hand, it might look bad that you withheld it until after he spoke to the CFO, even though his meeting was completely his decision.
Ugh, I think I'd tell him. If you're below market value, you're below market value. It's not like it's a raise based on your performance or projected performance. I've gotten one of those at my job and it was completely separate from my performance based raise.
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| Posted 1/5/17 8:52 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
I wouldn't say a word until after the decision on the raise.
No reason to
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| Posted 1/5/17 8:53 AM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Working Moms - Need Advice
I didn't tell my job I was pregnant with either child until 24 weeks. You are not legally required to before that.
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| Posted 1/5/17 9:20 AM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Working Moms - Need Advice
Wait. Get the raise and then wait another week and tell them. Places of employment can be strange with pregnancy news.
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| Posted 1/5/17 10:14 AM |
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Hoping4baby
LIF Infant
Member since 12/10 361 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
Posted by WannaBeAMom11
Wait. Get the raise and then wait another week and tell them. Places of employment can be strange with pregnancy news.
I agree with this. No reason to tell them yet.
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| Posted 1/5/17 10:15 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
Posted by Katareen
I didn't tell my job I was pregnant with either child until 24 weeks. You are not legally required to before that.
Same. I know I was at least 6 months pregnant by the time I told her. I wasn't comfortable telling them any earlier and felt it was none of their business anyway
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| Posted 1/5/17 10:17 AM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
How far along are you?
I would definitely wait until after the meeting.
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| Posted 1/5/17 10:21 AM |
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Michi
My Love
Member since 5/05 31600 total posts
Name:
M
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Working Moms - Need Advice
No way. Don't say anything until after you get the raise.
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| Posted 1/5/17 10:35 AM |
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hope417
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/12 718 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
I think it depends on your relationship with your boss and how long you have been at the company. Are you close enough with him that you can tell him and together decide if you tell the CFO? I mean if he wants to go to bat for you, he may feel blindsided if you don't tell him....I have been at my company 10+ years and have a very close relationship with my boss and feel I would have to tell him......
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| Posted 1/5/17 11:05 AM |
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MrsE323
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/13 530 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
Posted by hope417
I think it depends on your relationship with your boss and how long you have been at the company. Are you close enough with him that you can tell him and together decide if you tell the CFO? I mean if he wants to go to bat for you, he may feel blindsided if you don't tell him....I have been at my company 10+ years and have a very close relationship with my boss and feel I would have to tell him......
I have been here 3 years 4 months. He is VERY old school in his ways. We have a good relationship but he is "by the books" so I know once he knows he would report it up the chain of command to the CFO (his boss). My conscience is saying he's going to bat for you, you should tell him sooner rather than later. But my corporate brain is saying wait and don't give them any reason in their head to deny the increase.
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| Posted 1/5/17 11:17 AM |
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OhMaybeBaby
LIF Infant
Member since 1/13 337 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
Posted by NervousNell
I wouldn't say a word until after the decision on the raise.
No reason to
I agree 100%. Get the raise, then tell them.
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| Posted 1/5/17 11:36 AM |
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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
I say wait till after your raise
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| Posted 1/5/17 11:37 AM |
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
I would wait and then wait a few weeks before telling him you are pregnant to put some distance between it.
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| Posted 1/5/17 11:42 AM |
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MrsE323
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/13 530 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
Posted by BaseballWidow
I would wait and then wait a few weeks before telling him you are pregnant to put some distance between it.
I am starting to show. Hes a male in his late 50s so relatively clueless to this stuff but I don't want to insult his intelligence waiting too long.
Would it be horrible if I only waited 1 week after the outcome of the meeting to fill him in?
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| Posted 1/5/17 12:02 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
Posted by BaseballWidow
I would wait and then wait a few weeks before telling him you are pregnant to put some distance between it.
Agree. I would wait until after your 20 week scan then..just say you were waiting until that scan before letting everyone know.
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| Posted 1/5/17 12:39 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
Message edited 1/5/2017 1:02:53 PM.
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| Posted 1/5/17 12:42 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
Posted by jellybean78
Posted by BaseballWidow
I would wait and then wait a few weeks before telling him you are pregnant to put some distance between it.
Agree. I would wait until after your 20 week scan then..just say you were waiting until that scan before letting everyone know.
This is a very good idea and a valid reason to have kept it quiet until then.
A lot of people are nervous until that scan. Perfect reason
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| Posted 1/5/17 12:44 PM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
Posted by NervousNell
I wouldn't say a word until after the decision on the raise.
No reason to
Agreed. I think it's generally a good idea to wait to tell but especially if a raise is involved!!! It could impact their decision if you tell beforehand even if they don't say that was the reason they deny you, but if they do give you the raise they won't take it back afterward... that would look discriminatory! Btw I just told work the other day at 28 weeks! I think you only have to let them know a month in advance or so.
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| Posted 1/5/17 1:57 PM |
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jamnmore
LIF Adult
Member since 6/16 989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
Posted by MrsE323
Posted by hope417
I think it depends on your relationship with your boss and how long you have been at the company. Are you close enough with him that you can tell him and together decide if you tell the CFO? I mean if he wants to go to bat for you, he may feel blindsided if you don't tell him....I have been at my company 10+ years and have a very close relationship with my boss and feel I would have to tell him......
I have been here 3 years 4 months. He is VERY old school in his ways. We have a good relationship but he is "by the books" so I know once he knows he would report it up the chain of command to the CFO (his boss). My conscience is saying he's going to bat for you, you should tell him sooner rather than later. But my corporate brain is saying wait and don't give them any reason in their head to deny the increase.
If he is "old school" I would tell him sooner than later. If he is fighting for you he still will. But withholding something from him may damage the relationship you have.
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| Posted 1/5/17 2:00 PM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
It's only 1 more week until the meeting. I wouldn't say anything until afterwards. Just wear loose shirts. I can assure you that most people won't realize you're showing. It's more noticeable to you because you know you're pg!
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| Posted 1/5/17 2:32 PM |
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queensgal
Smile
Member since 4/09 3287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
I was in HR for 10 years
100% do not tell him yet
Waiting one more week won't make a difference with showing. Wear a cardigan or blame the holidays :)
While pregnancy shouldn't influence, the reality and hard truth is that it might and in my experience likely will.
They may want to wait and see if you come back before implementing the increase, meaning you miss out for almost a year.
If you don't tell them, you can have peace of mind the decision is unrelated. You may not get the full amount or any raise but at least you will know it's based on legitimate reasons.
PS I found the biggest and worst offenders of this to be HR itself. I hid my first for 19 weeks until after my review. I was busting at the seems!
Message edited 1/5/2017 3:52:47 PM.
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| Posted 1/5/17 3:49 PM |
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HeyJude
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 820 total posts
Name:
p
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
My advice would be do not tell until after. I have been burned in the past related to a promotion. Thought I was doing the "right" thing, but business is business to some people. I learned my lesson. Congratulations!
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| Posted 1/5/17 5:58 PM |
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Re: Working Moms - Need Advice
I don't understand what your pregnancy has to do with you getting a raise. Are you not coming back after baby? How are you less deserving of a raise? If they are old school and will be annoyed after they find out then too bad for them. The world does not work like that anymore. Hold your head high for what you deserve. I did not tell my job or most of my family until after the 20 week scan for all of my pregnancies. There is no reason to say a thing.
Message edited 1/5/2017 8:22:23 PM.
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| Posted 1/5/17 8:10 PM |
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babydreams21
LIF Adult
Member since 12/12 3656 total posts
Name:
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Working Moms - Need Advice
Don't say a word about it. If you can wait a couple of weeks after the meeting that would be great. I didn't tell my job until 20 weeks. Good luck!
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| Posted 1/5/17 10:07 PM |
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