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incog2
LIF Zygote
Member since 2/17 4 total posts
Name:
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lending money to family
I was recently approached by a close family member that has run into some financial issues. They asked to borrow 25, 000 dollars and have promised to pay it back over the next 4 years.
This is pretty much our savings. We would have a small cushion and our 401Ks which I would never want to touch.
What would you do? I am sick over this because in one way I don't want this person to come to financial ruin when I can help her out but one the other hand I am scared for my family and DCs. What if something happens to me and I now have no savings?
Also, I have been pondering possibly looking for a new job. I now feel like I shouldn't since I have seniority and some job stability here. But that means I put my life on hold for the next 4 years?
What wold you do?
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Posted 2/10/17 11:10 AM  |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
Listen I am not one to talk about savings having 2 kids in daycare at over 30K a year does not leave me room to save but the fact that you do there is no way I would loan anyone besides maybe my parents all my savings and you should not feel bad about it.
If you feel you need to loan them something maybe you can offer her 1/4 -1/2 what she asked for. What ever amount you feel you can comfortably live without.
Message edited 2/10/2017 11:14:22 AM.
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| Posted 2/10/17 11:13 AM |
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sourpatchkids
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/12 728 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
Wouldn't do it. Sorry. Maybe, MAYBE if I didn't have children I would consider helping her out (not $25,000 though!), but you have to think of your own family now. Good luck to your family member 
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| Posted 2/10/17 11:14 AM |
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Re: lending money to family
Absolutely not unless you had 5x's that in the bank and could spare it if this person doesn't pay it back. Tell them you wish you could help but don't have it.
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| Posted 2/10/17 11:18 AM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
take care of your family first. offer what you can. also offer without expecting to ever see it again
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| Posted 2/10/17 11:19 AM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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lending money to family
No way. The only way I'd ever lend that kind of money would be onmy ow children.
You need that money for your own peace of mind. Someone gets sick. Injured. Loses a job. Loses money in the stock market.
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| Posted 2/10/17 11:19 AM |
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incog2
LIF Zygote
Member since 2/17 4 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
Posted by luvbuffet
take care of your family first. offer what you can. also offer without expecting to ever see it again
This is what worries me the "never seeing it again" She swears she will be able to pay back and will put together terms for repayment but I am hesitant.
I also feel though if I do not loan it, there will be a large break in my family. This is a very close family member and we are really the only ones in remotely a possible situation to help them out.
I feel like everyone in my family is expecting us to help out.
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| Posted 2/10/17 11:22 AM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: lending money to family
Posted by incog2
Posted by luvbuffet
take care of your family first. offer what you can. also offer without expecting to ever see it again
This is what worries me the "never seeing it again" She swears she will be able to pay back and will put together terms for repayment but I am hesitant.
I also feel though if I do not loan it, there will be a large break in my family. This is a very close family member and we are really the only ones in remotely a possible situation to help them out.
I feel like everyone in my family is expecting us to help out.
No matter what it will put a strain on your relationship. If you don't mend it they'll be strain. If you do lend it they'll be strain until she's paid back in full. What if she takes a vacation in those four years and still owes you money. You'd be upset right? What if it takes her longer or she never pays back in full. There's no guarantees in her situation. I'm sure she didn't picture herself where she is now.
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| Posted 2/10/17 11:25 AM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7619 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Re: lending money to family
I would not lend that type of money to ANYONE even though I have it. It is for OUR emergency fund - god forbid something happened!
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| Posted 2/10/17 11:26 AM |
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MikesWife
Wanting...........
Member since 1/06 6887 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: lending money to family
Honestly, you really have to be willing to "gift" it or it will eat you up inside. If she pays it back, then great. If not, then you've helped her out. If you can't see yourself being ok in that situation (and your husband too, if you are married), then don't do it.
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| Posted 2/10/17 11:29 AM |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: lending money to family
Posted by luvbuffet
take care of your family first. offer what you can. also offer without expecting to ever see it again
Good advice.
That's a whole lot of money to ask for.
Let the whole family contribute if they are so concerned.
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| Posted 2/10/17 11:30 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: lending money to family
No way would I ever loan ANYONE my entire savings.
No way.
They can get a loan from a bank and pay it back over those 4 years.
And I would never ASK a family member to do that for me. IMO that is balls and very selfish
Message edited 2/10/2017 11:40:10 AM.
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| Posted 2/10/17 11:39 AM |
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Re: lending money to family
What on earth do they need that much $ immediately for? Unless they need a life saving medical intervention, I would not remotely consider giving them ANY $ at all because that is an outlandish request.
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| Posted 2/10/17 11:48 AM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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lending money to family
Unless it is your parents that need life saving medical care or they will die, no. I would not lend my life savings to anyone.
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| Posted 2/10/17 11:51 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
Honestly, that is A LOT of money and A LOT to ask of someone, even family. Unless money was a complete and ZERO issue for you and you really can get by without that $25K I would say no.
Also, 4 years is a LONG time to wait to get paid back and there is no guarantee you'll actually get it back. If your family member has money issues now there is nothing to say they'll be able to pay you back in a timely fashion. Plus, this affects your ability to make choices for your family and you'll have no savings to fall back on.
If it were me, I'd say no. That is just WAY too much money to "borrow".
ETA - If you were to do it, because it's such a large sum of money I'd likely have a contract written up so legally you're covered. How would you feel if you lent that money and then never got it back? If you're not okay with that, protect yourself if you do lend it.
Message edited 2/10/2017 11:58:49 AM.
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| Posted 2/10/17 11:57 AM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
Absolutely no way. When you lend money you have to assume you will not get it back. Even if you signed a contractual agreement, she could declare bankruptcy and you'd be out $25k.
Your children come first and you have to remember that. Do not feel guilty for someone else's misfortune.
Message edited 2/10/2017 1:52:02 PM.
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| Posted 2/10/17 11:59 AM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
you also mentioned that the ENTIRE family is expecting you to help? Why is everyone in each others business?? damned if you do, damned if you dont. what a crappy situation to be in.
I would never ever deplete my savings unless it was to save someones LIFE
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| Posted 2/10/17 12:00 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
Posted by luvbuffet
you also mentioned that the ENTIRE family is expecting you to help? Why is everyone in each others business?? damned if you do, damned if you dont. what a crappy situation to be in.
I would never ever deplete my savings unless it was to save someones LIFE
ITA. Who cares what anyone else "expects". That's some nerve to EXPECT anyone to just hand over thousands upon thousands of dollars. Nobody but you has a say in what you do with your money. Just because you have it doesn't mean you HAVE to give it to anyone.
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| Posted 2/10/17 12:02 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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lending money to family
No way would I lend out my entire savings, unless it was a life or death situation, but I would not just say no. Maybe there is a way to help them not financially. Getting them in touch with a financial consultant or a debt consolidator or get them info on bankruptcy. It really depends on what they needed the money for.
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| Posted 2/10/17 12:07 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
I only lend money to family or friends with the intention of never seeing it again. Most have every intention of paying you back but something will always come up. Unless you are very financially secure and can afford to lose 25k; I would say no.
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| Posted 2/10/17 12:12 PM |
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nycbuslady
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1066 total posts
Name:
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lending money to family
No way! Especially since it's your entire savings. If you had $250,000 in the bank and the loan was only 10% of your savings, then I would say yes, because theoretically you could lose that and still be OK. But not all you have -- that is too much for someone to ask.
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| Posted 2/10/17 12:23 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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lending money to family
No way, no how. Don't jeopardize your family to help someone else's.
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| Posted 2/10/17 12:27 PM |
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incog2
LIF Zygote
Member since 2/17 4 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
Posted by KarenK122
No way would I lend out my entire savings, unless it was a life or death situation, but I would not just say no. Maybe there is a way to help them not financially. Getting them in touch with a financial consultant or a debt consolidator or get them info on bankruptcy. It really depends on what they needed the money for.
Unfortunately, she has gone through bankruptcy in the last few years. This debt was incurred due to an unforeseen situation that needed to be taken care of and also a medical situation.
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| Posted 2/10/17 12:28 PM |
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incog2
LIF Zygote
Member since 2/17 4 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
Posted by luvbuffet
you also mentioned that the ENTIRE family is expecting you to help? Why is everyone in each others business?? damned if you do, damned if you dont. what a crappy situation to be in.
I would never ever deplete my savings unless it was to save someones LIFE
There is no one else in our family that would be able to help. Trust me I have asked everyone to chip in even something.
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| Posted 2/10/17 12:30 PM |
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PearlJamChick
No one sings like you anymore.
Member since 7/10 9264 total posts
Name:
Petticoated Swashbuckler
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Re: lending money to family
I would not offer up my entire savings unless someone's life literally depended on it.
If you want to help them out, then offer an amount that you're comfortable lending and comfortable never seeing again.
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| Posted 2/10/17 12:31 PM |
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