For those who have grandparents as

I'm in a very similar situation. DS is 2.5 and DD is 9mo. I felt the most frustration when there was a delay in his speech. I did basically the same thing you did and enrolled him in school from 8-11 3 days a week. In addition to that, I hired a local college girl to come in a few hours a week and interact with him (mothers helper). Another reason why I did that was bc I didn't expect her to trek DD out in the cold weather to drop off/pick up. It is a lot of work for an older person. I too do not pay my MIL so I didn't feel it was right to ask her to do more than what she already was doing bc at the end of the day it is A LOT of work. She's saving us a ton of money. I wouldn't trust anyone else to watch my kids either. Everything has it's pros and it's cons. Junk food and too much TV isn't the end of the world in the grand scheme of things. I do not think 3PM is a long day for your 2 YO. I would do that if my school offered it.

For those who have grandparents as

We send our DS to daycare and it is literally the best money we spend. He learns letters, colors, numbers, shapes, etc, while socializing with other kids his age. He's an only child so I think this is VERY important.

My sister and brother have my parents watch their kids. They are both great with the kids (take them out to do things (park, pool, errands, library, etc)), but I still prefer the structure of daycare. I also like that if I do not like the way daycare does something I CAN say something. I feel like my parents would just roll their eyes at me and not listen. For example, I would say, "DS doesn't drink soda" and they would let him have it anyway.

ETA: I do not think 3 pm is long. My DS is at daycare from 7-almost 5 most days...

Message edited 3/16/2017 2:17:04 PM.

For those who have grandparents as

We don't have the grandparents helping us full time but, they are our regular babysitters.

FIL takes the kids to school 2-3 mornings a week, picks them up the same, and my parents stay with them on weekend evenings if we have plans.

I find it hard to ask them to do more with the kids - or to do things differently, when they are providing a free service.

My ILs don't do much with them outside of the home - FIL is having some health issues and MIL won't do anything unless they ask her to but, my parents try to keep them fairly engaged.

Re: For those who have grandparents as "nannys"

Re: For those who have grandparents as "nannys"

My mother watches my almost-2 yr old and I have the exact same issues. The way I see it... She leaves him in his high chair most of the day (because she told me she's too old to chase him around), feeds him a ton to appease him all day and just leaves the tv on for him. She claims she plays with him but I really don't think so bc the toys are untouched when we get home. She doesn't show me anything he's done, legos are untouched, coloring books unused, other toys & books all untouched, etc. I think she falls asleep too while watching him. She complains he's cranky but I think he's just bored with her. Ugh. I don't trust her to take him anywhere AT ALL (she's a terrible driver) which is why my older son needs to be in full day (40 hr per week) preschool bc I don't trust her to pick him up or drop him off. Come September even though he's only 2 I think I will have to put him in daycare full time too because he needs better stimulation and activities than what he's getting with her. It makes me sad but I don't know if I have a choice. I can't do half days bc we don't have anyone besides us to drop him off or pick him up, so it has to be all or nothing. I'm having another baby soon and she can barely handle watching one at a time. I feel guilty because I feel like I can't do what's really best for him ( not even sure what that is).

Re: For those who have grandparents as "nannys"

I think your concerns are very valid. It sounds like your mom doesn't really want to be your daycare. If you can afford it, you really should put him in an extended nursery school or daycare. What are the pros of her watching your children besides saving money. She puts him in front of the tv all day? you have to really go with your gut on this one.

Re: For those who have grandparents as "nannys"

My mom used to watch DS when we lived in NY. She would take him out of the house twice per day. I signed him up for classes during the morning and she would take him to the park, library, playroom or open play. This was in our home and I gave her suggestions to go. I don't think she would have been able to handle doing that with a baby.

In your situation, I would send older child to daycare and have your mom just watch the baby. At minimum, I would lengthen hours of preschool.

For those who have grandparents as

My parents watched my daughter from birth to age 5. They did stuff like coloring or making crafts. In the summer they'd put on the sprinkler, etc. They would take the bus to the store all the time. Both my daughter and my mom loved it!

For those who have grandparents as

Thanks everyone! We're leaning towards riding the school year out... We are moving in a few weeks and once we are settled we are going to hire a mother's helper/ sitter to entertain him and bring him to activities a few days a week. Hell be in camp until 1pm this Summer too. We just don't feel full time day care is the best option for him or us.

Re: For those who have grandparents as "nannys"

Re: For those who have grandparents as "nannys"

My parents watch my kids. DD is only 3 1/2 and this past year she's been in school FT from 9-3:30. It is a super long day, but she is very active and there is no way she could've stayed home with them and my 1 1/2 yo DS. It will be interesting with #3 due to arrive soon!

It's a double-edged sword. I've definitely butted heads with them over things but at the end of the day, I'm so thankful. I know they are safe, loved, and well taken care of. DH and I definitely do not appreciate them enough and he and I have also had issues over that. I can't imagine our lives without them and I will never be able to repay them for everything they've done for us.

Re: For those who have grandparents as "nannys"