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Quick questions/ advice
My DHs aunt and counsin at ein town from Florida. They have been here since Monday. Over the weekend my son was sick and in the hospital, regardless Monday we tracked to my in laws to see them because BIL and his family were going there. I asked in advance about bringing my kids, and everyone said no problem. I then come to find out when we get there SIL has the flu, really?! You don’t have the decency to stay home or let me know after I directly text you about bringing my kids!?
Whatever,
DH and I couldn’t take off this week. My MIL and her sister and niece came for a bit Wednesday when I was at work to watch the kids togice my mom a break. We were supposed to go out yesterday but given the snow, we didn’t. They are leaving tomorrow and DHs brother is having everyone st the house, I said I wasn’t going with the kids and fed they should come to us, given that BIL and SIL were off all week and MIL had had my niece since Wednesday, so his aunt and cousin have seen them plenty. He won’t budge saying BIL wants them at his apartment, which is a fire hazard and needs to be on hoarders btw. He’s pissed I won’t take the kids out tonight because it’s -15 degrees and thinks I’m being unreasonable. Would you go over there? I don’t think it’s too much to ask for them to come to us, even after we have both been at work all day. I’m so pissed right now...
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Posted 1/5/18 12:43 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Quick questions/ advice
If you normally wouldn't go there because the condition of his place then no I wouldn't just take them now.
If you do normally go there then if they made the plans first and it was decided I don't see anything wrong with them not coming to you. They offered to host and they should be able to. If you don't want to go that's fine but I wouldn't be mad if they didn't want change their plans.
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| Posted 1/5/18 12:52 PM |
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Lauren82
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 4580 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Quick questions/ advice
From experience, I've put my foot down and refused to do stupid (in my opinion) things that my inlaws planned and all it does it serve to make me the bad guy. My husband doesn't like to make waves, so I'm the only one who will take a stand. I've changed my stance and pick my battles. If this is a battle that you want to fight, do it. I would probably suck it up...it's one night, not a school night, and they are leaving tomorrow.
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| Posted 1/5/18 1:02 PM |
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Re: Quick questions/ advice
Posted by Lauren82
From experience, I've put my foot down and refused to do stupid (in my opinion) things that my inlaws planned and all it does it serve to make me the bad guy. My husband doesn't like to make waves, so I'm the only one who will take a stand. I've changed my stance and pick my battles. If this is a battle that you want to fight, do it. I would probably suck it up...it's one night, not a school night, and they are leaving tomorrow.
Normally I wouldn’t care but my twins are 11 months old, one was hospitalized for his breathing and RSV Sunday. This is why I won’t go, it’s supposed to be -15 out with the wind tonight, I feel like that’s a bad choice to take him out
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| Posted 1/5/18 1:12 PM |
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Lauren82
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 4580 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Quick questions/ advice
Posted by TwinMommyToBoys
Posted by Lauren82
From experience, I've put my foot down and refused to do stupid (in my opinion) things that my inlaws planned and all it does it serve to make me the bad guy. My husband doesn't like to make waves, so I'm the only one who will take a stand. I've changed my stance and pick my battles. If this is a battle that you want to fight, do it. I would probably suck it up...it's one night, not a school night, and they are leaving tomorrow.
Normally I wouldn’t care but my twins are 11 months old, one was hospitalized for his breathing and RSV Sunday. This is why I won’t go, it’s supposed to be -15 out with the wind tonight, I feel like that’s a bad choice to take him out
You have to do what's right for you. If you and your husband think it's not good to bring him out, then I wouldn't question it. Our opinions really don't matter because only you know your kids and your circumstances. Don't second guess yourself.
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| Posted 1/5/18 1:16 PM |
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JennLala
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/14 601 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Quick questions/ advice
If you don't think it's a good idea to bring your babies out in this weather (and I agree with you), then don't, not to mention that with your SIL having the flu, it is probably germ infested. Your baby was in the hospital less than a week ago, if they can't grasp that bringing them out is not a smart thing to do, so be it. You have extended the offer to have them come to you, so if they really want to see your babies one last time, they can. Your husband can also go and see them without you and the kids.
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| Posted 1/5/18 1:47 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Quick questions/ advice
For the fact that she had the flu alone and your baby was just in the hospital with RSV it would be a NO for me.
Who knows if she is even still contagious or if anyone else in the house is infected with it from her and not showing symptoms yet.
No way.
The cold doesn't bother me so much becuase it's from the car to the house and you can bundle them up for the few minutes they are outside but HELL no to the fact that she had flu
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| Posted 1/5/18 1:50 PM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: Quick questions/ advice
Posted by TwinMommyToBoys
Posted by Lauren82
From experience, I've put my foot down and refused to do stupid (in my opinion) things that my inlaws planned and all it does it serve to make me the bad guy. My husband doesn't like to make waves, so I'm the only one who will take a stand. I've changed my stance and pick my battles. If this is a battle that you want to fight, do it. I would probably suck it up...it's one night, not a school night, and they are leaving tomorrow.
Normally I wouldn’t care but my twins are 11 months old, one was hospitalized for his breathing and RSV Sunday. This is why I won’t go, it’s supposed to be -15 out with the wind tonight, I feel like that’s a bad choice to take him out
As someone who has asthma and has had chronic bronchitis since I was one month old, do NOT take them out in this weather unless absolutely necessary. This weather is horrible for anyone with breathing problems.
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| Posted 1/5/18 1:53 PM |
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JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Quick questions/ advice
1000000% do NOT go.
It's brutal outside.
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| Posted 1/5/18 1:56 PM |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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Quick questions/ advice
Nope i wouldn't go. You are the one with 11 month old twins and you need to do what's best for you. After working all day, the last thing i'd want to do is bundle up two babies and drive somewhere. I think it was nice of you to offer to have them over your home, but if they don't want to do that, too bad. You did your part
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| Posted 1/5/18 2:01 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Quick questions/ advice
I wouldn’t go. Let them be mad. Your baby comes first.
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| Posted 1/5/18 2:18 PM |
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pumpkinmom
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2911 total posts
Name:
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Quick questions/ advice
I wouldn't go, but it's your kids/family so your choice. I would go with your gut.
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| Posted 1/5/18 2:31 PM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Quick questions/ advice
Posted by LuckyStar
I wouldn’t go. Let them be mad. Your baby comes first.
I agree. No friggan way! I would keep my babies far away from that whole scenario! The freezing cold, flu, disgusting hoarding mess (mold can be growing in piles of junk). The babies do not need to be exposed to any of it.
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| Posted 1/5/18 2:47 PM |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Quick questions/ advice
I don't want to go out in weather like this, I can't imagine trying to take babies out in it, bundled up or not.
Never mind that driving is still somewhat hazardous.
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| Posted 1/5/18 3:34 PM |
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Re: Quick questions/ advice
Posted by SecretlyTTC14
Posted by LuckyStar
I wouldn’t go. Let them be mad. Your baby comes first.
I agree. No friggan way! I would keep my babies far away from that whole scenario! The freezing cold, flu, disgusting hoarding mess (mold can be growing in piles of junk). The babies do not need to be exposed to any of it.
We typically don’t go over. My nieces behavior is out of control (doesn’t have any diagnosis) just spoiled nasty and aggressive and tries to hurt my kids. I don’t think their hoarding has reached mold levels that I’m aware of as they have CPS opencase but still haven’t been there in a while I only know from last time
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| Posted 1/5/18 3:42 PM |
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Ellsey10
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/15 614 total posts
Name:
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Quick questions/ advice
No I wouldn't go. It's insanely cold out and the fact that your MIL has/had the flu- I absolutely would not expose my children to that.
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| Posted 1/5/18 4:10 PM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Quick questions/ advice
Posted by TwinMommyToBoys
Posted by SecretlyTTC14
Posted by LuckyStar
I wouldn’t go. Let them be mad. Your baby comes first.
I agree. No friggan way! I would keep my babies far away from that whole scenario! The freezing cold, flu, disgusting hoarding mess (mold can be growing in piles of junk). The babies do not need to be exposed to any of it.
We typically don’t go over. My nieces behavior is out of control (doesn’t have any diagnosis) just spoiled nasty and aggressive and tries to hurt my kids. I don’t think their hoarding has reached mold levels that I’m aware of as they have CPS opencase but still haven’t been there in a while I only know from last time
I hear ya. I still wouldn't go. Even if it's not moldy yet, the dust and dust mites are not good for anyone to be exposed to. Just my opinion of course.
I think for me the hoarding is just the icing on the cake. Knowing SIL had the flu recently, anyone in that group could be carrying it and not showing symptoms yet (or only experiencing mild symptoms thinking they only have a cold). You're better than me with offering to host. I wouldn't let them anywhere near a baby that was just hospitalized for RSV.
Message edited 1/5/2018 6:24:34 PM.
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| Posted 1/5/18 6:18 PM |
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twobabies
Praying
Member since 7/05 9662 total posts
Name:
Mrs. Honeybee
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Re: Quick questions/ advice
Oh i would absolutely NOT go. My dd had rsv when she was a month old, spent a week in the hospital. Theres no way i would bring your son to a house with someone that has the flu. No way! I dont care what they thought about me.
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| Posted 1/5/18 7:26 PM |
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Quick questions/ advice
DH went by himself. I stayed home with the kids. I’m pissed he’s always appeasing his family and sometimes I feel we are put second. I have no patience for this family anymore.... luckily my kids are great cuddle buddies
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| Posted 1/5/18 7:41 PM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Quick questions/ advice
Posted by TwinMommyToBoys
DH went by himself. I stayed home with the kids. I’m pissed he’s always appeasing his family and sometimes I feel we are put second. I have no patience for this family anymore.... luckily my kids are great cuddle buddies
That was a great decision. DH is sometimes that way, but I think it is because some men are clueless. Enjoy your night in with your kids.
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| Posted 1/5/18 8:40 PM |
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