Working guilt spin off w Fathers day

Father’s Day is coming.

All dads will be at school for an event (it’s 1st grade... bizarre that they have Father’s Day, but they do). All moms were there for mother’s day, all dads were there for Father’s Day last year and so you assume turn out will be pretty much 100%.

Your hubby can’t get out of work. He’s trying, but it is a huge effort and may not succeed (he needs a vacationer to cover him literally for that hour)... and it’s 1st grade, not K when it’s a HUGE thing at school.

YOU (mom) don’t have work that day!

Do you;

Pull kid out of school

Ignore the whole thing and figure teacher will figure it out so your kid won’t feel bad.

Go AS Dad (maybe FaceTime with him??). BTW: Dad thinks that I am nuts for considering this option

Working guilt spin off w Fathers day

I can’t fathom that your husband is the only dad who can’t make it. I don’t know that I’d pull my kid out of school for the whole day because of an hour long event but I guess you could if your child is really upset about not having their dad there.

Re: Working guilt spin off w Fathers day

Is there a grandpa or uncle who could fill in?

The stress of these type of events is terrible. Maybe you could reach out to the teacher ahead of time and ask what they are expecting for attendance and see what she suggests?

Working guilt spin off w Fathers day

I would probably go and FaceTime dad... I hate this country sometimes there seriously needs to be a better work life balance for all. Parents and kids would all be happier... sorry for the vent about this! I’m just frustrated for you and your husband!

Working guilt spin off w Fathers day

I'd talk to the teacher and see what she thinks is best. She must have experience with Dads and/or Moms who can't make these events.
There is no way your kid is the only kid who's parent can't leave work whenever there is a school event. I don't remember my parents ever coming for school for father's day or mother's day or really any other daytime events. I feel like schools should be more aware of that and maybe celebrate these days without including parents. When you create that expectation that parents come, it can make those kids who's parents can't make it or who's parents aren't around feel very excluded.

Re: Working guilt spin off w Fathers day

I would see if a grandfather or uncle could go.... or I would go myself to fill in for dad and record anything special for dad to see later.

Re: Working guilt spin off w Fathers day

I personally think events like this are a terrible idea.
It's not easy to get off from work, whether you are a mom or a dad.
I hate that schools do this and put everyone in this spot.
I'd probably go in his place and see about facetiming.
Unless there is a grandfather or uncle who could fill in for dad

Re: Working guilt spin off w Fathers day

I would ask a grandfather or uncle to go. I don't know that Facetiming would be the best idea, it could interrupt whatever is planned.

I would also maybe ask the teacher because I'm pretty sure that your husband is not going to be the only one with this issue....

Re: Working guilt spin off w Fathers day

Working guilt spin off w Fathers day

Geez, what about all the kids who have absentee fathers. I think I would go and FaceTime unless grandpa can go...

Working guilt spin off w Fathers day

If you can go and he can't you go, child will be happy they have a parent there and maybe you can make a card for dad w child

Re: Working guilt spin off w Fathers day

If you're DH can't go, and a grandpa or uncle or another important male can't go, then I think you should go in his place and video it.

Have an honest conversation with your child about why his dad can't go while making sure he understands that it's not that his dad doesnt want to be there.

If turn out has been high before, I'd expect it would be high again. Where we live, turn out is very high for events like this and it is pretty much expected that parents will be there. We're OOS and there is a better work-life balance here, at least for my DH and others I know.

Working guilt spin off w Fathers day

We have this and a mother's day tea and the turn out is always high. It is on the calendar since the beginning of the year so people do their best to get there. There are so many activities though in the younger grades, parents need to choose what they can go too. We have had grandparents, uncles, older brothers come in place of the dad. We have had some same sex couples as well and both dads would come or one of the moms would come. They also have older school "buddies" in the lower grades so one of them would accompany the child if an adult representative couldn't be there.