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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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A Christmas related wwyd?
Every year, my IL's host Christmas eve and give a ton of presents to each grandchild. DH and I ask them every year to please not give Dd so many gifts because 1. We don't want her to become spoiled. We believe less is more sometimes. 2. We have an extremely small house and not enough room for all the stuff they get her. 3. The main reason is when she gets a ton of stuff on Christmas eve, it takes away from the excitement of Santa. She was 2 last xmas, And we could already see she seemed jaded xmas morning and just tore open all her Santa gifts, but didn't really seem to care bc she already had a huge pile of toys from her grandparents from the night before.
We keep asking them to please tone it down. But they blow it off and act like they get to be "Santa", not me and DH. They literally make xmas eve like xmas morning at their house. This upsets me and DH bc we work hard to try to make xmas special for DD. And they steal our th under, I guess you could say.
Anyway, since they refuse to compromise at all nd flat out told DH they're still going to give Dd a ton of stuff, is it completely awful of us if we decide to stay home xmas eve, let dd open her Santa gifts in the morning, and then see them after? It will still be annoying to have to find space for So many things. But at least we will get to see dd actually get excited on Xmas morning, instead of just seeming bored. We always see them xmas day too, so I don't really see a need to see them twice for the holiday anyway, but it's a tradition they have come to love. Or, any suggestions on how else we can convince them to respect our wishes and get her less gifts? Why can't they let us, the parents, be Santa? FIL even got annoyed that we got dd a bike because he wanted to  that's something that should come from Santa!
Message edited 12/17/2015 2:36:06 PM.
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Posted 12/17/15 2:33 PM  |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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A Christmas related wwyd?
What about telling them she can only open 2 or 3 gifts Christmas eve and she can open the rest the next day? My ils are similar and I'm always worried she'll get something we got her from them Xmas eve. That happened her first Xmas and we had only bought her 3 gifts as it was but at least she was too little for it to really matter.
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| Posted 12/17/15 2:40 PM |
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beachbabe
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/15 731 total posts
Name:
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A Christmas related wwyd?
Honestly, I know this is probably not what you want to hear. But I would just be appreciative and thankful of what they give her. It's very generous of them, and there are lots of children who aren't as fortunate
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| Posted 12/17/15 2:42 PM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by beachbabe
Honestly, I know this is probably not what you want to hear. But I would just be appreciative and thankful of what they give her. It's very generous of them, and there are lots of children who aren't as fortunate
I'd also add that you can either store some toys in your attic or basement to be taken out later in the year.
OR
Donate. Many children have nothing to open during the holidays.
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| Posted 12/17/15 2:46 PM |
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LotsaLuv
Us
Member since 6/10 4094 total posts
Name:
F
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A Christmas related wwyd?
As she gets older and gets the concept of Santa, Santa will be much more exciting. With that said I would make it VERY clear to them from now on what Santa is purchasing, and they are free to purchase anything other than what Santa purchases.
If you feel it is too much, gracefully accept the gifts, then return what you do not see fit. Even if you do not have a gift receipt, a store will take it back for store credit, and you can save the credit for clothes or something useful she will need in the future.
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| Posted 12/17/15 2:47 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Have a talk with your in laws & husband.
I think you are reasonable.
While you can donate some things, this will result in hurt feelings & just because they CAN get your kids tons of presents doesn't mean they should.
We severely limit Christmas presents.
Another idea is to do something else (like gingerbread house making) on Christmas eve vs present opening).
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| Posted 12/17/15 2:55 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Since you see them Christmas Day anyway, can you explain to them what happend last year on Christmas morning and why you'd like them to give her their gifts on Christmas Day instead?
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| Posted 12/17/15 2:57 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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A Christmas related wwyd?
It's not that we're not grateful, it's just that they take away from the xmas morning experience because by the time dd gets to her gifts from Santa, she's already gotten more toys than we know what to do with. DH and I don't want her to be spoiled and to just expect that she deserves to get a ridiculous amount of toys. At some point, when they just keep spoiling her to such a high degree, and outright disrespecting DH and my requests, I don't feel I have to feel grateful for that anymore.
And I'm all for donating toys, but I feel bad taking things away from dd that she still likes just to make room for a ton of new stuff. She's only 3 and doesn't understand charity yet. When she's older, it will be different, but now it just makes her sad. I just wish they would give her a smaller amount and then donate what's left directly to charity So DH and I don't have to be the bad guys making her get of stuff.
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| Posted 12/17/15 3:03 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Does she have her own account or 529?
I don't like to take away from my parent's 'fun' for Christmas, my Mom in particular, so I usually ask her to get one of the boys' specific wish list items - that way, they are SO excited and happy to open and receive it, and anything else they would have spent, they give the boys for their college funds.
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| Posted 12/17/15 3:09 PM |
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by NYCGirl80
Posted by beachbabe
Honestly, I know this is probably not what you want to hear. But I would just be appreciative and thankful of what they give her. It's very generous of them, and there are lots of children who aren't as fortunate
I'd also add that you can either store some toys in your attic or basement to be taken out later in the year.
OR
Donate. Many children have nothing to open during the holidays.
I agree as well. And many kids don't have grandparents around at all either
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| Posted 12/17/15 3:12 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by MarisaK
Does she have her own account or 529?
I don't like to take away from my parent's 'fun' for Christmas, my Mom in particular, so I usually ask her to get one of the boys' specific wish list items - that way, they are SO excited and happy to open and receive it, and anything else they would have spent, they give the boys for their college funds.
Yes, every year since she's been born, we've suggested they give towards her college fund and then get her 1 or 2 special gifts. My dad is the only one who does this, and we really appreciate it. Dhs dad and mom are divorced, and we think they are just trying to compete with other on who can get her more gifts. But I wish they would stop making about making themselves feel like the "winners" of their granddaugbter's xmas, and instead think of what would be best for dd.
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| Posted 12/17/15 3:16 PM |
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pumpkinmom
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2911 total posts
Name:
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A Christmas related wwyd?
We open gifts on Christmas. Maybe when the girls get older, we will let them do 1 Christmas Eve. We get some presents from ILs on Christmas Eve and we take them home unwrapped.
Sounds like the other grandchildren are opening Christmas Eve, so your DD will want to open too. I would try telling her she can do 1 gift Christmas Eve.
No, I don't think it's horrible to stay home Christmas Eve.
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| Posted 12/17/15 3:17 PM |
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Millie3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1280 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
You may want to just visit them for dinner on Christmas Day after opening gifts and relaxing for the day. We used to Visit In Laws on Eve and it was always such a late night. No matter how I complained, we were stuck there until 9:30/ 10 plus had to travel home. Made for very tired and grouchy kids Christmas morning/ all day. Now they come to us Christmas Day, after we enjoy time as a family. We also now have Christmas Eve traditions as a family. Do it now while your DC is young. They will get over it.
It's not about being grateful, it's the fact they are not respecting what you are asking of them.
If too many toys, put them all away for another day.
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| Posted 12/17/15 3:20 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by pumpkinmom
We open gifts on Christmas. Maybe when the girls get older, we will let them do 1 Christmas Eve. We get some presents from ILs on Christmas Eve and we take them home unwrapped.
Sounds like the other grandchildren are opening Christmas Eve, so your DD will want to open too. I would try telling her she can do 1 gift Christmas Eve.
No, I don't think it's horrible to stay home Christmas Eve.
Yes, her cousins will all be opening their gifts, so we can't exactly tell her she can't too if we are there.
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| Posted 12/17/15 3:34 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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A Christmas related wwyd?
And again,we're not trying to be ungrateful. But as parents, Its very important to us to not make dd spoiled and materialistic . and its frustrating that ILs aren't respecting that at all.
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| Posted 12/17/15 3:40 PM |
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hidingin1516
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1009 total posts
Name:
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A Christmas related wwyd?
ok my mom is exactly like this. the past few years, oldest dd is 5, we have actually taken home unopened gifts and put them aside. It took us a week to open all of them lol. I have also have become better at gauging what is good and what is not and I returned so much of what she bought. We do a big Christmas and her crap just adds to it lol. I just say thank you and move on. I don't get mad anymore. I use the money toward groceries and bday's and stuff. She never knows. She just likes to give the kids a big Christmas. theres' somuch stuff my dd has never realized or missed anything. She's just ripping through it.
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| Posted 12/17/15 3:55 PM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Personally, I would stay home Christmas Eve (or go see your family) and just see them on Christmas Day after your DD has opened her presents from Santa.
I completely understand what you're saying about not wanting to spoil her. My DS comes from a divorce situation, so he gets a MILLION presents for Christmas (from both parents and all sets of grandparents, plus now also from our new spouses parents and siblings). There have been many Christmases where by the time Christmas morning rolled around he could care less about what he was opening and he was very ungrateful...just plain spoiled. And it's because he was getting so much from everyone and he just grew to expect it. We finally told everyone to limit what they were giving him. We do the same - we try not to go overboard with even Santa gifts at our house because "Santa" also visits his dad's house.
If your IL's cant honor your wishes as parents, then the only way to control it is to avoid seeing them until after your DD has opened her gifts from Santa on Christmas morning.
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| Posted 12/17/15 4:14 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by HomeIsWithU
Personally, I would stay home Christmas Eve (or go see your family) and just see them on Christmas Day after your DD has opened her presents from Santa.
I completely understand what you're saying about not wanting to spoil her. My DS comes from a divorce situation, so he gets a MILLION presents for Christmas (from both parents and all sets of grandparents, plus now also from our new spouses parents and siblings). There have been many Christmases where by the time Christmas morning rolled around he could care less about what he was opening and he was very ungrateful...just plain spoiled. And it's because he was getting so much from everyone and he just grew to expect it. We finally told everyone to limit what they were giving him. We do the same - we try not to go overboard with even Santa gifts at our house because "Santa" also visits his dad's house.
If your IL's cant honor your wishes as parents, then the only way to control it is to avoid seeing them until after your DD has opened her gifts from Santa on Christmas morning.
Thank you! I'm surprised people are saying we're being ungrateful in this situation, when it's a matter of them blatantly going against our wishes as parents. Its not like I'm complaining that We just don't like the type of gift and want something else. I appreciate that they love her and want to make the holiday special for her. I just don't think She needs to think xmas means ripping open 100 presents.
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| Posted 12/17/15 5:21 PM |
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WonderLady
LIF Infant
Member since 1/15 355 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by beachbabe
Honestly, I know this is probably not what you want to hear. But I would just be appreciative and thankful of what they give her. It's very generous of them, and there are lots of children who aren't as fortunate
This times a million. I'm so tired of these types of posts. Try having a mean mother or a dead mother. Sorry to be harsh but you really don't have a problem imo. Donate the gifts your DD doesn't use.
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| Posted 12/17/15 6:49 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by beachbabe
Honestly, I know this is probably not what you want to hear. But I would just be appreciative and thankful of what they give her. It's very generous of them, and there are lots of children who aren't as fortunate
I kind of agree.
And I'll add, we have a big family and as a kid I would get A LOT of gifts on Xmas Eve. A LOT.......... From Aunts, Uncles, cousins, grandparents. And I can tell you, getting a lot on Xmas Eve NEVER took away from the excitement and anticipation of getting gifts from Santa Xmas morning. Getting gifts on Xmas Eve was just part of the Xmas fun but nothing compared to Xmas morning.
Maybe instead of sweating the fact they are giving your DD gifts on Xmas Eve try working with them to ensure they don't replicate what you buy as well as buy appropriate things. My parents always handled our Xmas lists with the family. Let the grandparents have their fun and let your DD enjoy being spoiled.......... It's only once a year. 
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| Posted 12/17/15 7:09 PM |
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Loveme
LIF Adult
Member since 6/11 3170 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by WonderLady
Posted by beachbabe
Honestly, I know this is probably not what you want to hear. But I would just be appreciative and thankful of what they give her. It's very generous of them, and there are lots of children who aren't as fortunate
This times a million. I'm so tired of these types of posts. Try having a mean mother or a dead mother. Sorry to be harsh but you really don't have a problem imo. Donate the gifts your DD doesn't use.
If your parents did this would you react the same?
I always see so much IL bashing around here. Appreciate your families. I wish my kids had 4 grandparents to spoil them. They only have one grandma
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| Posted 12/17/15 7:32 PM |
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SJSM
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/09 764 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Just donate or return the toys. Your daughter is only 3, she isn't going to remember what toys she got on Christmas Eve if you don't open them. She was only 2 last year I'm sure she wasn't bored with the gifts from you, maybe just overwhelmed . Again not what you want to hear BUT don't you have other things to be upset about?
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| Posted 12/17/15 8:00 PM |
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Try to convince ILs to give her only 2 or 3 gifts Xmas eve. Then do the rest Xmas after they open santas gifts. Kids that are spoiled are indulged year round and not just one day a year. Don't worry about that aspect especially at this young age. Accept the gifts graciously and when you get home hide them. See what she asks for or choose a few for her to have. Donate, sell, regift, return, or save the rest for her birthday.
Let in laws enjoy giving her the gifts. No permanent damage will be done to your dd by her receiving lots a gifts but damage can definitely be done with your relationship with your ILs if you choose to fight this one.
I have a small house also, you will survive the toy invasion.
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| Posted 12/17/15 8:14 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
What about a compromise.
You go. She opens say 3. Hour goes by. Open another and so on
And when she opens the 3 and it's almost time for the other,take the others and put them
In the car
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| Posted 12/17/15 8:54 PM |
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beachbabe
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/15 731 total posts
Name:
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A Christmas related wwyd?
Maybe you can ask them to buy her clothes or shoes. Even a coat. Things that she will need and use
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| Posted 12/17/15 9:03 PM |
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