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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
I think the best compromise is to open a few that day and save the rest for Christmas. I can see where you would be annoyed and feel slightly disrespected but ultimately you can't really dictate the type of gifts you are given. It sucks that they won't honor your wishes but it's very sweet they want to spoil their granddaughter. I guess I can understand both sides here!
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Posted 12/17/15 9:13 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
stillasecret
LIF Infant
Member since 2/12 370 total posts
Name:
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A Christmas related wwyd?
It's definitely not an easy situation. And as far as people commenting that you should just accept them and be grateful...you really need to get over yourselves.
She asked what you would do in this situation not for your judgment.
As for the OP, you can't change their behavior, only yours. If you want to try staying home this year go for it and see how you feel. If you decide to go maybe leave all the grandparents gifts in the car so they aren't sitting right in front of DD the next morning as she opens your gifts.
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| Posted 12/17/15 9:42 PM |
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DaisyGirl
LIF Adult
Member since 2/08 1650 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by LiveItUp
It's not that we're not grateful, it's just that they take away from the xmas morning experience because by the time dd gets to her gifts from Santa, she's already gotten more toys than we know what to do with. DH and I don't want her to be spoiled and to just expect that she deserves to get a ridiculous amount of toys. At some point, when they just keep spoiling her to such a high degree, and outright disrespecting DH and my requests, I don't feel I have to feel grateful for that anymore.
And I'm all for donating toys, but I feel bad taking things away from dd that she still likes just to make room for a ton of new stuff. She's only 3 and doesn't understand charity yet. When she's older, it will be different, but now it just makes her sad. I just wish they would give her a smaller amount and then donate what's left directly to charity So DH and I don't have to be the bad guys making her get of stuff.
FWIW, I don't think you sound ungrateful. I would be upset if my DS got so many presents Christmas Eve that he didn't care about the gifts from Santa. Part of the magic of Christmas is opening gifts from Santa. I can see why you'd be upset that she's missing out on that. I think your requests are reasonable- they can buy her fewer gifts or she can open them on Christmas Day after she's opened her gifts from Santa. It's more about letting her experience the magic of Santa than being ungrateful to your ILs.
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| Posted 12/17/15 9:45 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by WonderLady
Posted by beachbabe
Honestly, I know this is probably not what you want to hear. But I would just be appreciative and thankful of what they give her. It's very generous of them, and there are lots of children who aren't as fortunate
This times a million. I'm so tired of these types of posts. Try having a mean mother or a dead mother. Sorry to be harsh but you really don't have a problem imo. Donate the gifts your DD doesn't use.
Well. I do have a dead mother, and plenty of other things to worry about. This isn't my main concern in life, by far. Just a situation I was looking for input on from other parents that might have dealt with something similar. My dad fully respects my wishes for my daughter, and he wouldn't blow off something that DH or I told him was important to us. I love my In laws. I'm not trying to bash them. I'm actually trying to figure out what to do in a way that won't hurt their feelings but that also won't ruin the excitement of Santa for my Dd.
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| Posted 12/17/15 10:25 PM |
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Teachergal
We made a snowman!
Member since 1/08 3239 total posts
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by LiveItUp
Posted by WonderLady
Posted by beachbabe
Honestly, I know this is probably not what you want to hear. But I would just be appreciative and thankful of what they give her. It's very generous of them, and there are lots of children who aren't as fortunate
This times a million. I'm so tired of these types of posts. Try having a mean mother or a dead mother. Sorry to be harsh but you really don't have a problem imo. Donate the gifts your DD doesn't use.
Well. I do have a dead mother, and plenty of other things to worry about. This isn't my main concern in life, by far. Just a situation I was looking for input on from other parents that might have dealt with something similar. My dad fully respects my wishes for my daughter, and he wouldn't blow off something that DH or I told him was important to us. I love my In laws. I'm not trying to bash them. I'm actually trying to figure out what to do in a way that won't hurt their feelings but that also won't ruin the excitement of Santa for my Dd.
I'm so sorry about your mom. 
I completely understand where you are coming from. I said something this year to my in-laws about limiting the number of gifts that were given. I tried to stress how much we appreciate it, but that we didn't want them to be overwhelmed with gifts. I also want Santa to be a special experience for my kids and getting 15 presents the night before absolutely takes away from that experience. Sometimes if you're not going through the situation yourself, it's hard to relate. Sounds to me like your in-laws will not be ok with DD just opening 2-3, it will be the whole thing again. If that's the case, sit out this year and see them Christmas day. That way, your daughter gets the excitement of Santa Christmas morning and they still get to spoil her rotten later on that day. When you get home, hide half the gifts and take them out in March when DD is bored of everything else. Good luck in your decision!
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| Posted 12/17/15 10:41 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Op I just wanted to add I'm sorry for some of the absolute rude and uncalled for
Comments you got
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| Posted 12/17/15 10:52 PM |
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Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by gina409
Op I just wanted to add I'm sorry for some of the absolute rude and uncalled for
Comments you got
I agree.
I don't think the op is being ungrateful at all. She just wants to enjoy the magic of her daughter on Christmas without someone spoiling it. I would stay home.
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| Posted 12/17/15 11:01 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by Pinkisles
Posted by gina409
Op I just wanted to add I'm sorry for some of the absolute rude and uncalled for
Comments you got
I agree.
I don't think the op is being ungrateful at all. She just wants to enjoy the magic of her daughter on Christmas without someone spoiling it. I would stay home.
Thank you. Its ok , people are entitled to their opinions. I'm sorry for anyone who's children don't have grandparents , or present grandparents in their kids lives. But I don't think the fact that some kids don't have grandparents should negate my situation. Just like if some one on here was to complain about something their mom does, and I've seen plenty of posts like that, I would never respond to them," Oh be quiet, at least you have a mom." Their feeling are still valid, whether I have a mom or not.
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| Posted 12/18/15 5:29 AM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by LiveItUp
Posted by Pinkisles
Posted by gina409
Op I just wanted to add I'm sorry for some of the absolute rude and uncalled for
Comments you got
I agree.
I don't think the op is being ungrateful at all. She just wants to enjoy the magic of her daughter on Christmas without someone spoiling it. I would stay home.
Thank you. Its ok , people are entitled to their opinions. I'm sorry for anyone who's children don't have grandparents , or present grandparents in their kids lives. But I don't think the fact that some kids don't have grandparents should negate my situation. Just like if some one on here was to complain about something their mom does, and I've seen plenty of posts like that, I would never respond to them," Oh be quiet, at least you have a mom." Their feeling are still valid, whether I have a mom or not.
Id stay home as well.
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| Posted 12/18/15 7:43 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Can I just point out one other thing that I think you might be overlooking. You're DD is only 3, I'm going to be honest...........at that age, my DD wasn't freaking out with excitement on Xmas morning and it wasn't because she doesn't love Xmas and getting gifts but because she was 3. They don't really "get it" at that age and even if your IL's gave her nothing the night before, she still wouldn't be freaking out on Xmas morning the same way a 5-6 yr old would.
My DS is almost 3 and he knows Santa is coming and he is excited, kind of, but I know that on Xmas morning he'll see one thing he likes and won't care about the rest. It's just the age. You will find as she gets older she will become more and more excited and really enjoy Xmas. All of it.......no matter how many gifts she gets and from who.
I guess my point it, it's not your IL's that are diminishing the Xmas morning joy but your little one's age. I wouldn't miss Xmas Eve, go and enjoy the holiday with your family. You don't want any hard feelings around the holidays and your IL's will be hurt if you don't see them. Just my two cents.
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| Posted 12/18/15 8:59 AM |
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Jugglemom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/12 809 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by Hofstra26
Can I just point out one other thing that I think you might be overlooking. You're DD is only 3, I'm going to be honest...........at that age, my DD wasn't freaking out with excitement on Xmas morning and it wasn't because she doesn't love Xmas and getting gifts but because she was 3. They don't really "get it" at that age and even if your IL's gave her nothing the night before, she still wouldn't be freaking out on Xmas morning the same way a 5-6 yr old would.
My DS is almost 3 and he knows Santa is coming and he is excited, kind of, but I know that on Xmas morning he'll see one thing he likes and won't care about the rest. It's just the age. You will find as she gets older she will become more and more excited and really enjoy Xmas. All of it.......no matter how many gifts she gets and from who.
I guess my point it, it's not your IL's that are diminishing the Xmas morning joy but your little one's age. I wouldn't miss Xmas Eve, go and enjoy the holiday with your family. You don't want any hard feelings around the holidays and your IL's will be hurt if you don't see them. Just my two cents.
I agree with this 100% it has less to do with how many presents she is getting and far more to do with your DDs age. Kids are usually VERY overwhelmed on Christmas and their reactions are usually much more muted than you would expect. As far as your in laws go - if the other children don't have issue with how many gifts they give and it is only you guys I can imagine it would be hard for your ILs to give all the other grandchildren a bunch of gifts and only one or 2 for your DD.
As far as Xmas eve goes I would NEVER consider missing it as it is a big deal in both our families and would be seen as a huge slight.
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| Posted 12/18/15 10:27 AM |
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WonderLady
LIF Infant
Member since 1/15 355 total posts
Name:
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A Christmas related wwyd?
Sorry but it is my opinion, as harsh as it may sound to some of you, that someone who would "stay home" because their in-laws spoil their grandchildren with gifts on Christmas, sounds like a nightmare daughter-in-law (literally like a joke from a sitcom). That's my opinion. Call it rude. Call it uncalled for. I don't think I'm that horrible for saying it, since this whole topic isn't exactly a serious issue. I just think it's nuts. No one is "ruining the magic of Christmas". Imo you're just being uptight.
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| Posted 12/18/15 11:48 AM |
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JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by LiveItUp
Posted by WonderLady
Posted by beachbabe
Honestly, I know this is probably not what you want to hear. But I would just be appreciative and thankful of what they give her. It's very generous of them, and there are lots of children who aren't as fortunate
This times a million. I'm so tired of these types of posts. Try having a mean mother or a dead mother. Sorry to be harsh but you really don't have a problem imo. Donate the gifts your DD doesn't use.
Well. I do have a dead mother, and plenty of other things to worry about. This isn't my main concern in life, by far. Just a situation I was looking for input on from other parents that might have dealt with something similar. My dad fully respects my wishes for my daughter, and he wouldn't blow off something that DH or I told him was important to us. I love my In laws. I'm not trying to bash them. I'm actually trying to figure out what to do in a way that won't hurt their feelings but that also won't ruin the excitement of Santa for my Dd.
I am really sorry about your mom.
You are 100% entitled to your feelings.
As someone who lost a parent a long time ago I think that was a really despicable assumption that was made.
Someone's having crow for lunch.
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| Posted 12/18/15 12:05 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
I would just do what you want....see them on Christmas Day, not eve. I would be annoyed by that whole situation also!
Oh, I'm so sorry someone decided to play the "well at least you don't have xxxxx" to try to make you feel bad. So low and terrible!
Message edited 12/18/2015 12:16:46 PM.
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| Posted 12/18/15 12:15 PM |
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dianadrw
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 2092 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by Hofstra26
Can I just point out one other thing that I think you might be overlooking. You're DD is only 3, I'm going to be honest...........at that age, my DD wasn't freaking out with excitement on Xmas morning and it wasn't because she doesn't love Xmas and getting gifts but because she was 3. They don't really "get it" at that age and even if your IL's gave her nothing the night before, she still wouldn't be freaking out on Xmas morning the same way a 5-6 yr old would.
My DS is almost 3 and he knows Santa is coming and he is excited, kind of, but I know that on Xmas morning he'll see one thing he likes and won't care about the rest. It's just the age. You will find as she gets older she will become more and more excited and really enjoy Xmas. All of it.......no matter how many gifts she gets and from who.
I guess my point it, it's not your IL's that are diminishing the Xmas morning joy but your little one's age. I wouldn't miss Xmas Eve, go and enjoy the holiday with your family. You don't want any hard feelings around the holidays and your IL's will be hurt if you don't see them. Just my two cents.
I totally agree with this. DD is 4 this year for Christmas. She really gets the concept of Santa now. At 2 and 3? Not so much. I think a big part of this is your DD's age.
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| Posted 12/18/15 12:39 PM |
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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
I would just ask that they give their presents after Santa comes on Christmas Day. Maybe 1 gift on Christmas Eve.
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| Posted 12/18/15 1:28 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by dianadrw
Posted by Hofstra26
Can I just point out one other thing that I think you might be overlooking. You're DD is only 3, I'm going to be honest...........at that age, my DD wasn't freaking out with excitement on Xmas morning and it wasn't because she doesn't love Xmas and getting gifts but because she was 3. They don't really "get it" at that age and even if your IL's gave her nothing the night before, she still wouldn't be freaking out on Xmas morning the same way a 5-6 yr old would.
My DS is almost 3 and he knows Santa is coming and he is excited, kind of, but I know that on Xmas morning he'll see one thing he likes and won't care about the rest. It's just the age. You will find as she gets older she will become more and more excited and really enjoy Xmas. All of it.......no matter how many gifts she gets and from who.
I guess my point it, it's not your IL's that are diminishing the Xmas morning joy but your little one's age. I wouldn't miss Xmas Eve, go and enjoy the holiday with your family. You don't want any hard feelings around the holidays and your IL's will be hurt if you don't see them. Just my two cents.
I totally agree with this. DD is 4 this year for Christmas. She really gets the concept of Santa now. At 2 and 3? Not so much. I think a big part of this is your DD's age.
Last year my dd didn't really get it, but this year she definitely does. We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, of course, and will most likely not stay home on xmas eve (although the thought of a peaceful family evening together does sound nice to us.) But we still don't like the idea that dd will be kind of jaded come xmas morning. These are actually more dhs feeling than mine, though I fully agree with him, so to the person who said I must be a nightmare daughter in law, it's actually more of an issue between DH and his dad, and I just happened to ask for some input on here. Its hard to fully explain the whole situation. We obviously don't want to start a fight with them over this. But the fact that DH keeps discussing this with his dad, just to be told pretty much, "too bad, we're gonna do what we want, even if it takes away from the xmas morning you worked so hard to make special" has us wondering how to handle this.
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| Posted 12/18/15 1:43 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by LiveItUp
Posted by dianadrw
Posted by Hofstra26
Can I just point out one other thing that I think you might be overlooking. You're DD is only 3, I'm going to be honest...........at that age, my DD wasn't freaking out with excitement on Xmas morning and it wasn't because she doesn't love Xmas and getting gifts but because she was 3. They don't really "get it" at that age and even if your IL's gave her nothing the night before, she still wouldn't be freaking out on Xmas morning the same way a 5-6 yr old would.
My DS is almost 3 and he knows Santa is coming and he is excited, kind of, but I know that on Xmas morning he'll see one thing he likes and won't care about the rest. It's just the age. You will find as she gets older she will become more and more excited and really enjoy Xmas. All of it.......no matter how many gifts she gets and from who.
I guess my point it, it's not your IL's that are diminishing the Xmas morning joy but your little one's age. I wouldn't miss Xmas Eve, go and enjoy the holiday with your family. You don't want any hard feelings around the holidays and your IL's will be hurt if you don't see them. Just my two cents.
I totally agree with this. DD is 4 this year for Christmas. She really gets the concept of Santa now. At 2 and 3? Not so much. I think a big part of this is your DD's age.
Last year my dd didn't really get it, but this year she definitely does. We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, of course, and will most likely not stay home on xmas eve (although the thought of a peaceful family evening together does sound nice to us.) But we still don't like the idea that dd will be kind of jaded come xmas morning. These are actually more dhs feeling than mine, though I fully agree with him, so to the person who said I must be a nightmare daughter in law, it's actually more of an issue between DH and his dad, and I just happened to ask for some input on here. Its hard to fully explain the whole situation. We obviously don't want to start a fight with them over this. But the fact that DH keeps discussing this with his dad, just to be told pretty much, "too bad, we're gonna do what we want, even if it takes away from the xmas morning you worked so hard to make special" has us wondering how to handle this.
Based on this, I would assume this isn't just about Xmas, there is obviously some bigger issue with your DH and his dad that they need to work out.
I really wouldn't worry about a LO becoming "jaded". She's too young for that. Like I mentioned, I got a lot on Xmas Eve and it never took away from Xmas morning. With "kid thinking"............the more the better!!  My kids also get a ton on Xmas Eve because we have the same traditions with my family but my DD (now 7) still cannot wait for Xmas morning and Santa's gifts.
I wouldn't let your DD's reaction last year influence your decisions too much this year. She was 2. Two year olds get overwhelmed and don't get as excited by things as you hope they will. I think in general you will see a difference with her this year but I still think her reaction will be more muted than you're hoping for.........Xmas Eve gifts aside.
Good luck!! I hope things turn out better than you're expecting!
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| Posted 12/18/15 1:52 PM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
I don't think you are being rude/ungrateful. I know how you feel, my FIL is the same way, he goes nuts on my DS each year. I like the idea of just limiting her to opening 3 gifts on xmas eve and then opening the rest after she opens her gifts from "santa" on xmas morning.
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| Posted 12/18/15 2:05 PM |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by LiveItUp
Posted by dianadrw
Posted by Hofstra26
Can I just point out one other thing that I think you might be overlooking. You're DD is only 3, I'm going to be honest...........at that age, my DD wasn't freaking out with excitement on Xmas morning and it wasn't because she doesn't love Xmas and getting gifts but because she was 3. They don't really "get it" at that age and even if your IL's gave her nothing the night before, she still wouldn't be freaking out on Xmas morning the same way a 5-6 yr old would.
My DS is almost 3 and he knows Santa is coming and he is excited, kind of, but I know that on Xmas morning he'll see one thing he likes and won't care about the rest. It's just the age. You will find as she gets older she will become more and more excited and really enjoy Xmas. All of it.......no matter how many gifts she gets and from who.
I guess my point it, it's not your IL's that are diminishing the Xmas morning joy but your little one's age. I wouldn't miss Xmas Eve, go and enjoy the holiday with your family. You don't want any hard feelings around the holidays and your IL's will be hurt if you don't see them. Just my two cents.
I totally agree with this. DD is 4 this year for Christmas. She really gets the concept of Santa now. At 2 and 3? Not so much. I think a big part of this is your DD's age.
Last year my dd didn't really get it, but this year she definitely does. We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, of course, and will most likely not stay home on xmas eve (although the thought of a peaceful family evening together does sound nice to us.) But we still don't like the idea that dd will be kind of jaded come xmas morning. These are actually more dhs feeling than mine, though I fully agree with him, so to the person who said I must be a nightmare daughter in law, it's actually more of an issue between DH and his dad, and I just happened to ask for some input on here. Its hard to fully explain the whole situation. We obviously don't want to start a fight with them over this. But the fact that DH keeps discussing this with his dad, just to be told pretty much, "too bad, we're gonna do what we want, even if it takes away from the xmas morning you worked so hard to make special" has us wondering how to handle this.
Grandparents spoil their grandkids. that's what they do. it is their one big joy in life. let them have it.
your daughter will not remember the gifts she received when she grows up. she will remember spending christmas eve with her grandparents and feeling loved. she will ALSO remember christmas mornings with her parents and will probably take those traditions you established and carry them on with her own children. make sure christmas day morning is special for your daughter, don't worry about the gifts. they are not what matters in the end.
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| Posted 12/18/15 2:17 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by LiveItUp
Posted by dianadrw
Posted by Hofstra26
Can I just point out one other thing that I think you might be overlooking. You're DD is only 3, I'm going to be honest...........at that age, my DD wasn't freaking out with excitement on Xmas morning and it wasn't because she doesn't love Xmas and getting gifts but because she was 3. They don't really "get it" at that age and even if your IL's gave her nothing the night before, she still wouldn't be freaking out on Xmas morning the same way a 5-6 yr old would.
My DS is almost 3 and he knows Santa is coming and he is excited, kind of, but I know that on Xmas morning he'll see one thing he likes and won't care about the rest. It's just the age. You will find as she gets older she will become more and more excited and really enjoy Xmas. All of it.......no matter how many gifts she gets and from who.
I guess my point it, it's not your IL's that are diminishing the Xmas morning joy but your little one's age. I wouldn't miss Xmas Eve, go and enjoy the holiday with your family. You don't want any hard feelings around the holidays and your IL's will be hurt if you don't see them. Just my two cents.
I totally agree with this. DD is 4 this year for Christmas. She really gets the concept of Santa now. At 2 and 3? Not so much. I think a big part of this is your DD's age.
Last year my dd didn't really get it, but this year she definitely does. We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, of course, and will most likely not stay home on xmas eve (although the thought of a peaceful family evening together does sound nice to us.) But we still don't like the idea that dd will be kind of jaded come xmas morning. These are actually more dhs feeling than mine, though I fully agree with him, so to the person who said I must be a nightmare daughter in law, it's actually more of an issue between DH and his dad, and I just happened to ask for some input on here. Its hard to fully explain the whole situation. We obviously don't want to start a fight with them over this. But the fact that DH keeps discussing this with his dad, just to be told pretty much, "too bad, we're gonna do what we want, even if it takes away from the xmas morning you worked so hard to make special" has us wondering how to handle this.
Based on this, I would assume this isn't just about Xmas, there is obviously some bigger issue with your DH and his dad that they need to work out.
Yes,I guess you could say this. I probably shouldn't have made my post at xmas or gifts at all. I should have just asked " What do you do when you feel strongly about something regarding your child, or how your child is raised, and people close to you choose to disregard your feelings or beliefs as a parent and just do whatever they want?"
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| Posted 12/18/15 2:27 PM |
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dianadrw
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 2092 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by LiveItUp
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by LiveItUp
Posted by dianadrw
Posted by Hofstra26
Can I just point out one other thing that I think you might be overlooking. You're DD is only 3, I'm going to be honest...........at that age, my DD wasn't freaking out with excitement on Xmas morning and it wasn't because she doesn't love Xmas and getting gifts but because she was 3. They don't really "get it" at that age and even if your IL's gave her nothing the night before, she still wouldn't be freaking out on Xmas morning the same way a 5-6 yr old would.
My DS is almost 3 and he knows Santa is coming and he is excited, kind of, but I know that on Xmas morning he'll see one thing he likes and won't care about the rest. It's just the age. You will find as she gets older she will become more and more excited and really enjoy Xmas. All of it.......no matter how many gifts she gets and from who.
I guess my point it, it's not your IL's that are diminishing the Xmas morning joy but your little one's age. I wouldn't miss Xmas Eve, go and enjoy the holiday with your family. You don't want any hard feelings around the holidays and your IL's will be hurt if you don't see them. Just my two cents.
I totally agree with this. DD is 4 this year for Christmas. She really gets the concept of Santa now. At 2 and 3? Not so much. I think a big part of this is your DD's age.
Last year my dd didn't really get it, but this year she definitely does. We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, of course, and will most likely not stay home on xmas eve (although the thought of a peaceful family evening together does sound nice to us.) But we still don't like the idea that dd will be kind of jaded come xmas morning. These are actually more dhs feeling than mine, though I fully agree with him, so to the person who said I must be a nightmare daughter in law, it's actually more of an issue between DH and his dad, and I just happened to ask for some input on here. Its hard to fully explain the whole situation. We obviously don't want to start a fight with them over this. But the fact that DH keeps discussing this with his dad, just to be told pretty much, "too bad, we're gonna do what we want, even if it takes away from the xmas morning you worked so hard to make special" has us wondering how to handle this.
Based on this, I would assume this isn't just about Xmas, there is obviously some bigger issue with your DH and his dad that they need to work out.
Yes,I guess you could say this. I probably shouldn't have made my post at xmas or gifts at all. I should have just asked " What do you do when you feel strongly about something regarding your child, or how your child is raised, and people close to you choose to disregard your feelings or beliefs as a parent and just do whatever they want?"
You have to pick your battles. It's hard. Trust me, I know. I really do hope your Christmas goes better than you're expecting. I bet DD will surprise you.
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| Posted 12/18/15 3:56 PM |
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itsagoodlife
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/15 619 total posts
Name:
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
I had the same problem when my kids were babies. We finally ended up telling the ILS that we would be leaving the gifts at their home or donating them if they continued to try to "out do" us (which they def tried to do... very passive aggressive)..
I am now divorced (partially because of the crazy that runs through that family). This is the first Christmas since... and I KNOW that my kids are going to be stupidly spoiled. Luckily they're old enough to see through it.
Good luck... no words of advice. BTDT
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| Posted 12/18/15 5:49 PM |
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Jbone88
LIF Zygote
Member since 9/08 35 total posts
Name:
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A Christmas related wwyd?
Yikes some of these replies are harsh and incredibly judgmental. You can be grateful for people's generosity while still wanting boundaries and your own nuclear family traditions. The Magic of Santa and Christmas morning is such a short window these days, I completely understand you and your Dh wanting to enjoy that! Your in-laws have already had the pleasure of raising kids and being Santa, it's your time it enjoy it.
If you're going to be seeing them on Christmas, I don't see anything wrong with wanting a quiet night at home on Christmas eve. What does your Dh say?
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| Posted 12/18/15 9:16 PM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
Name:
ETC I LOVE YOU
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Re: A Christmas related wwyd?
Posted by Hofstra26
Can I just point out one other thing that I think you might be overlooking. You're DD is only 3, I'm going to be honest...........at that age, my DD wasn't freaking out with excitement on Xmas morning and it wasn't because she doesn't love Xmas and getting gifts but because she was 3. They don't really "get it" at that age and even if your IL's gave her nothing the night before, she still wouldn't be freaking out on Xmas morning the same way a 5-6 yr old would.
My DS is almost 3 and he knows Santa is coming and he is excited, kind of, but I know that on Xmas morning he'll see one thing he likes and won't care about the rest. It's just the age. You will find as she gets older she will become more and more excited and really enjoy Xmas. All of it.......no matter how many gifts she gets and from who.
I guess my point it, it's not your IL's that are diminishing the Xmas morning joy but your little one's age. I wouldn't miss Xmas Eve, go and enjoy the holiday with your family. You don't want any hard feelings around the holidays and your IL's will be hurt if you don't see them. Just my two cents.
I agree 1000% with this!
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| Posted 12/18/15 9:24 PM |
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