Re: Advice on disciplining a strong-willed toddler

One word: CHOICES. Ava gets choices. It works so well that it's almost scary. For example, if she's throwing a fit over something and won't stop, I give her a choice in a loud, stern voice, "AVA. HERE'S YOUR CHOICE....You can scream and throw a fit, but lose your TV time tonight, or you can STOP throwing a fit and we'll watch some tv."

It sounds asinine, but I swear it works. I give her choices for everything and then she's in control. I've yet to have it backfire on me.
Even tonight, we were in Target, and I wanted it to be a quick trip, which meant having her in the cart and not walking (and touching everything), so I said when we got in to the store, "Ok, Ava, here's your choice....sit in the cart like you used to when you were a baby, or sit in the big kid cart. ( you know, that one for older kids thats attached to a regular cart)." So she chose to sit in the regular cart. About ten minutes later, she started in with "I want to waaaaaaalk." So I said, "No Ava, I gave you a choice and this is what you chose." And that was the end of that. She didn't even realize that walking wasn't even a choice

Basically that's what works for us. And then, there's the whole idea that you have to say what you mean and mean what you say. I never make an empty threat. I'm always willing to completely follow through on what I say because she needs to know I mean business. It's been hard to have to do the follow through on many occassions, but in the end, that's how she learns. HTH!

Re: Advice on disciplining a strong-willed toddler

I also want to add that I think there is a period of time where they just don't understand negative consequences. Ava really didn't get it for a while. Like Goldenrod, I would see that she just didn't have anything that she was attached to enough to take away or that she enjoyed time out and wouldn't want to leave, just to be stubborn. But, regardless of that, I just decided that consistency was key and that eventually, she would show me her weakness And she eventually began to get more attached to things, whether it be tv or books at bedtime or going outside, etc. And I've started using those.
And whatever method you settle on, the main ingredient is always consistency, as far as I'm concerned.

Re: Advice on disciplining a strong-willed toddler

Posted by lehcar

I also want to add that I think there is a period of time where they just don't understand negative consequences. Ava really didn't get it for a while. Like Goldenrod, I would see that she just didn't have anything that she was attached to enough to take away or that she enjoyed time out and wouldn't want to leave, just to be stubborn. But, regardless of that, I just decided that consistency was key and that eventually, she would show me her weakness And she eventually began to get more attached to things, whether it be tv or books at bedtime or going outside, etc. And I've started using those.
And whatever method you settle on, the main ingredient is always consistency, as far as I'm concerned.

Re: Advice on disciplining a strong-willed toddler

I think the best thing about this particular thread is seeing that we aren't alone... I often thought that DS was very unusual. With 6 billion people in the world, I know he's not the only one, but it seems more common than I thought.