Agree or Disagree? Update - Thank You!

DH and I have two sets of friends w/newborn babies.

We went to Couple 1's babys' baptism two weeks ago, and gave them $250. Couple 1 had a baby shower in May, and when their daughter was born, we gave them gifts. Couple 1's "daddy" was DH's best man. Oh, and they paid for the baptism.

Couple 2's babys' baptism is this Sunday, and I wanted to give them $200. Couple 2 had a baby shower in August, a wedding in March, a bachelorette & bachelor party in February, and when their daughter was born we gave them gifts. Couple 2's "daddy" was in DH's bridal party. The baptism is being paid for by their parents.

Onto the question...DH thinks we should give both couples the SAME amount for the Christening. I feel they should get less b/c:
1. We've spent over $2K on them in 2006 ALONE
2. We're not as close to them as we are to Couple 1


Sooooo....what do you think? Should I just s&ck it up and give the same or do I have a legitimate reason?

Update:

Thanks for all the feedback ladies - we're going with the $250 bond!

Message edited 12/8/2006 11:49:13 AM.

Re: Agree or Disagree?

Well, here's the thing...

The baptism gift really isn't for paying for the party, they are supposed to be putting that money away for the baby. So, who's paying is not really the issue.

Honestly, I thnk it isn't worth the $50 to argue with your husband and having there be some off-chance that they'll find out that they got less than Couple 1.

JMHO

Re: Agree or Disagree?

IMO 250.00 is a lot for a baptism. BUT Since you are giving 200 (imo a lot..) Why not just give the extra 50.00 and save the fight for something else

Re: Agree or Disagree?

agree with you, not your DH

Re: Agree or Disagree?

I think $200 is appropiate and it is for the baby.

I do send more towards people I am closer with So i agree with what you are doing and I also think that is quite a generous amount.

Re: Agree or Disagree?

I can't agree or disagree. just wanted to say that you and DH are EXTREMELY generous!

Re: Agree or Disagree?

WOW...you are very generous with your gifts....IMO...$200 is allot to give....

Re: Agree or Disagree?

I agree with you

I give gifts based on our relationship- if you are not as close with couple 2- I think $200 in very generous

Re: Agree or Disagree?

I would say give them the same amount...$50 is not worth getting into an argument with DH...plus the money is for the baby - not for the parents - they SHOULD be putting it away for her

Re: Agree or Disagree?

Well, not to be a beyotch, but what business is it of yours who pays for the christening? I'm not sure why you're even factoring that in.
That being said, give whatever you feel is appropriate. So, if 200 is appropriate to you, regardless of what you've spent on this couple this year, then give that.

Re: Agree or Disagree?

I usually give more to family and close friends than I do to friends, so I totally get your point and agree it's not necessary to give the same.

However, if the $50 difference will make your life easier b/c you won't have to argue the point to your DH, then consider it getting off cheap!

ETA: here's a good twist, buy a $250 bond-it'll only cost you $125!!!!

Message edited 12/8/2006 11:35:03 AM.

Re: Agree or Disagree?

I think you should give to each one whatever you feel is appropriate. However, I don't feel that who pays for the Baptism should be a consideration.

Is the only difference (1) one couple paid for the baptism and (2) the other couple already had a bunch of parties (bachelor parties/wedding/etc...)

To me the factors would be:
1. How close I am to each
2. If you gave a gift for the birth of the baby/shower gift. But it looks like that is equal in this case.
3. Maybe I would consider $ spent on pre-baby parties if it was excessive. But if its reasonable- just in a shorter period of time than Couple 1, I wouldn't make that a factor.

Re: Agree or Disagree?

Re: Agree or Disagree?

simple question

do the 2 couples talk?

if so, save yourself the headache and give the same amount

Re: Agree or Disagree?

Re: Agree or Disagree?

Re: Agree or Disagree?

Christine,

You're an extremely generous person (I know from experience) and I completely agree with your reasoning.

Re: Agree or Disagree?

I agree with you. I'd give a more expensive gift to someone I'm closer to. And I can see your point that you gave a lot of money toward couple #2 in the past year so giving anything extra would sting a bit more.

However, to keep the peace, I've also given more money to couples I'm not exactly crazy about just to keep things even. Which is what I might do in this particular situation.

I think regardless of what amount you give, you are being very generous. And the receivers of the gifts should be grateful to have friends like you and your DH!

Re: Agree or Disagree?

Re: Agree or Disagree?

Posted by ChrissynRicky

Posted by june262004

Posted by ChrissynRicky

Posted by LFitzy79

ETA: here's a good twist, buy a $250 bond-it'll only cost you $125!!!!

GENIUS!!!!!! Now, how do I go about doing this???

Any bank. Ask for EE bond.

Re: Agree or Disagree?

I think $200 is fine for couple #2 for this reason..

Message edited 12/8/2006 11:45:45 AM.

Re: Agree or Disagree?

regardless of who had what events in the last year or who is paying for what, I would probably give a little more to the person I am closer with

having said that, both 200 and 250 are very genrous gifts...If you are not as close to couple 2, 200 is definetly more than appropriate

Re: Agree or Disagree? Update - Thank You!

Re: Agree or Disagree? Update - Thank You!

Re: Agree or Disagree? Update - Thank You!

Posted by june262004

Posted by ChrissynRicky

Posted by june262004

Posted by ChrissynRicky

Posted by LFitzy79

ETA: here's a good twist, buy a $250 bond-it'll only cost you $125!!!!

GENIUS!!!!!! Now, how do I go about doing this???

Any bank. Ask for EE bond.

back.