Re: Am I wrong to be livid and upset??

After 2 years of me feeling guilty for no reason and DH pushing me to get out, I am finally doing things for "me". I needed to. I need a mental break from all of this.

Re: Am I wrong to be livid and upset??

He's delusional.

I am only home 3 days a week and sometimes I think I am going to go insane. Luckily my DH realizes that I need me time and is more than willing to help out while I have a night or day out.

You have every right to be mad. You do need "me" time.

Re: Am I wrong to be livid and upset??

You 100% have the right to be upset! You should not feel guilty at all for wanting some time to yourself. I usually get out one night a week after the kids are in bed. The weeks that I miss that night out, I notice myself being much crankier than usual. Just because I try to go out once per week does not mean I hate being a mother. I absolutely love it & wouldn't trade it for the world. I just also love being ME- being an adult & having an identity outside of "mommy"- I've learned that this time is ESSENTIAL to my happiness. I don't think that's wrong at all! I think your DH was very wrong to accuse you of that. You are completely & totally normal for wanting time to yourself & more than that, I think you very much deserve it! I'm so sorry he said that to you

Re: Am I wrong to be livid and upset??

Noreen, you KNOW he's not right for thinking you should do it all, however, you need to MAKE him help you. Not being involved with Megan is not an option for him, as far as I can see it. He's her parent, too, so you have to allow for him to take her. I know we've talked about this, but it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. We don't want them to take care of our DDs because we're afraid they'll do it wrong, but then we complain that we don't get a break from them. So, put an end to that cycle by letting him learn to be her father. He's not going to break her, if anything, she'll break him Seriously take yourself out of the house and leave the two of them home. They will survive, and you will get some time alone.
I tend to feel guilty for taking me time, but you know what? Screw that. Sometimes when I'm feeling really guilty, but need the time anyway, I go food shopping or do something else that HAS to be done, just to be alone.
You know you deserve the time, but actually taking it is going to be the hard part

Re: Am I wrong to be livid and upset??

Posted by nycchic24

So everyone knows I am a SAHM. I hardly get any break which I can admit, is really getting to me. Megan is ALWAYS on the go, she never rests and is extremely high spirited. So I have been known to tell my dh that I need a break, that I need to be "a person," that I need some "me" time. Last night in the heat of an arguement he told me that I hate being a mother and that no mother who loved her child would complain about being home with them. WTH?????????? I dont complain about being home with her, I complain that he never gives me any time to myself, I complain because I lost all of me when she was born and he lost nothing and I complain because NOTHING I do is recognized by him, its just expected!

Now he has me feeling SO GUILTY for ever opening my mouth. But is it realistic to just be totally happy being a mom day in and day out with no "Noreen" time whatsoever? And does it make me a bad mom to voice my feelings every now and then?? I am SO MAD at him for saying those words to me..my life centers around my daughter (unlike his) and I cant believe those words came out of his mouth. Do you think its wrong to feel the way I feel? Do you think that constitutes saying that I dont like being a mother??

Message edited 10/9/2009 7:57:30 PM.