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Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
Name:
God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
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Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
As some of you know, I recently moved to another state. DH and I were able to buy our very first home and can't wait to have guests. So my best friend was supposed to come over with her DH and her 2 kids on 6/3 until 6/6. I found out on 5/31 that they weren't coming, after I sent an email asking.
Anyway, she's a SAHM and is always with the same "woe is me" and "life is so much kinder to you" crap...very negative person. Anyway, she called me and asked if they could come over 6/23 until 6/27. It's really inconvenient because we have zero furniture and I'd like to take a day off from work to show them around, but can't because my DH's family is coming over the week after for 2 weeks and I'm taking off 2 days (I just started my job). So I tell her this...and how it's such short notice and I won't spend time with them and she said "that's fine, we'll be on our own anyway"...
She calls me today to confirm and I said that we won't be home at all the weekend (or next) and when we are home we'll be painting, organizing, unpacking, making repairs, decorating, etc. because DH's fam comes the week after...so she got upset that I won't have time to spend with her. She said that she thought we'd at least be home on the weekend...and I said we will, just making repairs and painting...that's not cool with the kids. She then said "look, I'm just going to have to go on my own and stay elsewhere, I can't wait for you to be available, I'm going to have to do my own thing, I need a house too, and honestly, you guys are always busy and are never available". She added "last weekend it was that you were going to be out of town, then you decided not to go anywhere (IT WAS OUR 1ST YEAR ANNIVERSARY!  ), the next 2 weekends you'll be busy, then your husband's family is coming...it's never comvenient, we can't wait for you".
This is my best friend since Jr. High...she really hurt me. I feel for her, her life must s*ck in a tiny apt. with 2 kids...but that's not my fault. I told her "what you said to me was really harsh, I mean, we haven't even been here for 2 months!"...and she said, again "I have to do my own thing"...and then there was complete silence on the line. I didn't know what to say (we closed on the house 4/19!! ) and said "later" and hung up.
So sorry for the drama and the vent...please be honest...am I wrong?
This is a XP from LIW...thank you! 
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Posted 6/5/06 4:44 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
I jsut read this on NWR- and no you are not wrong!
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| Posted 6/5/06 4:45 PM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
you're definitely not wrong. you invited her at a certain time, SHE bailed, now she has to wait for another invitation, bottom line. If I was in your situation, there probably wouldn't be another invitation.
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| Posted 6/5/06 4:47 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
Posted by Shorty
you're definitely not wrong. you invited her at a certain time, SHE bailed, now she has to wait for another invitation, bottom line. If I was in your situation, there probably wouldn't be another invitation.
I agree.
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| Posted 6/5/06 4:49 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
you are NOT wrong!!
you just moved in for God's sake! and SHE is the one who bailed!
Message edited 6/5/2006 4:51:15 PM.
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| Posted 6/5/06 4:50 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
You're definately not wrong!!!
And  to you for having guests stay over so soon after you've moved in!!!
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| Posted 6/5/06 4:51 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
Posted by Shorty
you're definitely not wrong. you invited her at a certain time, SHE bailed, now she has to wait for another invitation, bottom line. If I was in your situation, there probably wouldn't be another invitation.
i agree with this as well.
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| Posted 6/5/06 4:52 PM |
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Summer05
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 2320 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
You are not wrong. If I were you I would not be inviting them again for a long time.
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| Posted 6/5/06 4:53 PM |
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Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
Name:
God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
Thanks.  See, the thing is that she wanted to come for 4th of July weekend because it was convenient for her and her fam. But my DH's family is coming for 2 weeks then and I told her she couldn't come. Originally she said "well, I'll go anyway and do my own thing" and I told her that I really wouldn't have any time to spare (DH's family is about 15 people for the weekend, 10 people for 2 weeks). Then she said "OK another time" and I said "how about the beginning of June" and she sounded OK with that...then her DH's grandpa passed away (but he's in another country) and her DH was depressed, which I understand...but I didn't know he had passed away or that they weren't coming because no one told me until I asked.
Now I get the call that they want to come in 2 weeks...the weekend before 4th of July...but we have to get an entire house ready for DH's family. This isn't done in one day! And her response was so hurtful. Maybe I'm being over sensitive...maybe I was mean...all I know is that I feel like crap!
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| Posted 6/5/06 4:53 PM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
Not wrong at ALL!
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| Posted 6/5/06 4:54 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
Posted by sasha
Thanks. See, the thing is that she wanted to come for 4th of July weekend because it was convenient for her and her fam. But my DH's family is coming for 2 weeks then and I told her she couldn't come. Originally she said "well, I'll go anyway and do my own thing" and I told her that I really wouldn't have any time to spare (DH's family is about 15 people for the weekend, 10 people for 2 weeks). Then she said "OK another time" and I said "how about the beginning of June" and she sounded OK with that...then her DH's grandpa passed away (but he's in another country) and her DH was depressed, which I understand...but I didn't know he had passed away or that they weren't coming because no one told me until I asked.
Now I get the call that they want to come in 2 weeks...the weekend before 4th of July...but we have to get an entire house ready for DH's family. This isn't done in one day! And her response was so hurtful. Maybe I'm being over sensitive...maybe I was mean...all I know is that I feel like crap!
you were not mean at all!
she'll get over it. sounds like she is very bitter & jealous - JMO
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| Posted 6/5/06 4:55 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
Sasha-you are feeling bad because she invited herself and it wasn't convenient for you?
She invited herself...
not cool...she needs to get a grip.
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| Posted 6/5/06 5:06 PM |
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SweetT
LIF Adult
Member since 4/06 1305 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
What was her reason for canceling last weekend?
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| Posted 6/5/06 5:08 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by Shorty
you're definitely not wrong. you invited her at a certain time, SHE bailed, now she has to wait for another invitation, bottom line. If I was in your situation, there probably wouldn't be another invitation.
I agree.
Me too. I also think her anger is a manifestation of her jealousy but that is her own immaturity and NOT your problem.. She seems a bit unhappy with her life and jealous of you.
ETA: I know what it's like getting a house ready. Most people that have seen my posts on the home Board know that. Even with new construction it is exhausting and never ending.
Don't feel bad. She's the one with the 'tude.
Message edited 6/5/2006 5:10:11 PM.
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| Posted 6/5/06 5:08 PM |
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jeanlaS
LIF Infant
Member since 11/05 175 total posts
Name:
Jean
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
You are definitely not wrong!
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| Posted 6/5/06 5:14 PM |
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Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
Name:
God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
She's definitely unhappy with her life. Her marriage...what's become of her. But that's not my fault and I've told her many times that complaining gets you nowhere.
Anyway, read my responses here I'm leaving work...will try to post from home. Thank you!!
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| Posted 6/5/06 5:14 PM |
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MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
Posted by Shorty
you're definitely not wrong. you invited her at a certain time, SHE bailed, now she has to wait for another invitation, bottom line. If I was in your situation, there probably wouldn't be another invitation.
totally agree.
not to mention the fact that the only way you found out she was bailing on you, was when YOU called HER!! she didn't even have the decency to call you and let you know she wasn't coming!!! 
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| Posted 6/5/06 5:17 PM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
Sasha, you are not wrong. You have alot of things going on and with a new job and home, you need time to get things together. I don't get how people feel the need to intrude on others the 1st second they get into a house. If she was serious about moving near you guys, she'd come at a more convenient time when you could give her more attention and actually SHOW her what's available. She's just being selfish.
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| Posted 6/5/06 5:31 PM |
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Hi-Fi55
12 years...wow....
Member since 2/06 2984 total posts
Name:
Dianne
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
I agree with you, you are DEFINITELY not wrong!
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| Posted 6/5/06 5:31 PM |
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Maathy317
Grammie's Little Man
Member since 2/06 3235 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
When you invite someone to stay at your home it is as YOUR convenience, not at THEIRS. If your schedule does not coincide with theirs, then so be it. Your "friend" should have been gracious and understood. Instead, she tried to make you feel guilty. It sounds as if she is jealous of the life you lead. She needs to grow up and she, definitely, owes you an apology.
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| Posted 6/5/06 5:45 PM |
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Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
you are definitely not wrong.
She should be more understanding of your predicament.
I'm sorry Sasha, you don't deserve to feel like this.
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| Posted 6/5/06 6:36 PM |
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JodiBabe
Married for 9 yrs!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6672 total posts
Name:
Jodi
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
Posted by Maathy317
When you invite someone to stay at your home it is as YOUR convenience, not at THEIRS. If your schedule does not coincide with theirs, then so be it. Your "friend" should have been gracious and understood. Instead, she tried to make you feel guilty. It sounds as if she is jealous of the life you lead. She needs to grow up and she, definitely, owes you an apology.
I totally agree with this! You did NOTHING WRONG Sasha!!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 6/5/06 6:52 PM |
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traceyd
Big Sister to Be!
Member since 5/05 3644 total posts
Name:
Tracey
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
You are definately not wrong!!!
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| Posted 6/5/06 7:19 PM |
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MrsPornStar
Partners in crime
Member since 10/05 14656 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
Sasha,
You absolutely did nothing wrong! Your friend invited herself to your house after she canceled on you. I agree with those who feel she's jealous. She is upset about all that she doesn't have and is taking it out on you. She owes you an apology. If she cannot be happy for you, then she isn't a real friend. JMHO.
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| Posted 6/5/06 7:23 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Am I wrong...please give your honest advice!
Sasha, I think you are very gracious to offer to host your friend and her family for several days, I am not sure that would even fly in my house. You are saving her the expense of paying for a hotel room, and offered to assist her in finding a house. I don't think you should spend another minute feeling badly about this. If she can't work around your schedule, then she can stay at a hotel.
I totally agree with Shorty - she bailed without telling you and now is turning it around to make you feel guilty about it? Not cool at all.
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| Posted 6/5/06 10:32 PM |
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