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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Annoying or not a big deal
I'm super annoyed with DH right now and I'm not sure if I'm justified or if I'm just PMSing.
DH tells me last night that his friends are coming over tonight for a BBQ. I was annoyed because DS goes back to school tomorrow and I would like him to eat dinner, take a shower, read and go to bed on time. If DHs friends are here it's going to throw everything off. DH swears he told me last week, I swear that was the first I heard of it because I would have told him from the get-go to pick another day.
Fast forward to just now. DH calls and said he and his friends are going to go out instead. He thought I would be happy, and I'm happy not to have company tonight, but I feel like we should be having a family dinner before we get back into our school year routine. And to add insult to injury, DH isn't planning I having dinner with us tomorrow night either. He plays golf on Wednesdays.  So he's not going to eat with us before DS starts school and then he's not going to eat with us after DS first day of school.
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Posted 9/2/14 10:26 AM  |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Annoying or not a big deal
I feel you, but (don't take it the wrong way) it does sound like PMS'ing too. I feel like when I have a lot on my mind and the stress of getting ready for school, back to routine, etc... I like to have an easy transition.
It's really not a big deal, but hormones can make us women more stressed then there really needs to be.
Enjoy some quiet time after the boys go to bed and grab a glass of wine.
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| Posted 9/2/14 10:30 AM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Annoying or not a big deal
I'd be a little annoyed, but in the end HE is the one missing out on these moments with his son.
I agree with PP, put the kids to bed and enjoy a quiet night 
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| Posted 9/2/14 10:39 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Annoying or not a big deal
not a big deal in my family. We are always on the move in my family and it was how both myself and DH grew up so we just roll with our buy schedules.
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| Posted 9/2/14 10:52 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Annoying or not a big deal
we don't eat meals together as a family  we get home late and if we waited for us all to be together my DC would be eating and going to be extremely late (at least late for my liking  ).
I would have been more annoyed if they came over for all the reasons you explained and I would much rather them go out but if I was PMSing I would probably give an attitude
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| Posted 9/2/14 11:06 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Annoying or not a big deal
Posted by blu6385
we don't eat meals together as a family we get home late and if we waited for us all to be together my DC would be eating and going to be extremely late (at least late for my liking ).
I would have been more annoyed if they came over for all the reasons you explained and I would much rather them go out but if I was PMSing I would probably give an attitude
Same here.
To me it wouldn't be an issue at all since we never eat dinner at the table as a family.
I would just be happy to not have a house full of company tonight so I could wind DS down quietly for school tomorrow
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| Posted 9/2/14 11:17 AM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Annoying or not a big deal
I would've been annoyed at the BBQ happening tonight, but since he changed those plans, I'd be happy with that. It sucks not to eat together two nights in a row, but sometimes it is what it is.
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| Posted 9/2/14 11:17 AM |
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wingsofsong
My 3 little loves <3<3<3
Member since 1/09 7395 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Annoying or not a big deal
I would have been annoyed that he planned a BBQ at the house and didn't tell me. But he says he did tell you, so who's to say? I would have no problem with him going out with his friends instead, especially since he changed plans to accommodate your feelings.
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| Posted 9/2/14 11:22 AM |
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Annoying or not a big deal
It would bug me only cuz it's right around school starting
Any other time , I wouldn't bat an eye
I'm one of those people who likes and need structure to feel like things will go smoothly - so all of this would just have me in a tizzy in a way.
So I can see your side.
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| Posted 9/2/14 11:29 AM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: Annoying or not a big deal
Posted by wingsofsong
I would have been annoyed that he planned a BBQ at the house and didn't tell me. But he says he did tell you, so who's to say? I would have no problem with him going out with his friends instead, especially since he changed plans to accommodate your feelings.
I agree with this
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| Posted 9/2/14 11:41 AM |
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HeyJude
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 820 total posts
Name:
p
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Re: Annoying or not a big deal
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
It would bug me only cuz it's right around school starting
Any other time , I wouldn't bat an eye
I agree. We eat together most nights except when one of has to work late, but school starting can be a big adjustment for a little one. Daddy not being around on a big night because of work is different that him not being around b/c of a social choice.
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| Posted 9/2/14 11:54 AM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Annoying or not a big deal
IMO: Big deal to have friends over BBQ the night before first day of school. Not a big deal once he changed his plans to go out. Sounds to me like he thought he was "problem solving" 
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| Posted 9/2/14 12:11 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Annoying or not a big deal
I would be annoyed because I'm big on "family first".
I think the night before school should be a nice, relaxing evening together to get back into the swing of things and I also think a nice family dinner is important on that first day back. I think it's a good idea to connect with your kids and see how their first day went and share in the excitement of a new school year. JMO.
So yea, I'd be upset too. 
Message edited 9/2/2014 12:17:34 PM.
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| Posted 9/2/14 12:17 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: Annoying or not a big deal
hate to say it, but sounds like you're pms'ing
you said you didn't want his friends coming over, so he changed plans to go out instead. Yes, you'd rather have him home, but at least he responded to your issue and tried to fix it.
Enjoy the night home with DC and the peace and quiet
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| Posted 9/2/14 1:05 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Annoying or not a big deal
i think it sounds like your DH is damned if he does, damned if he doesnt, honestly. I think it sounds like he "tried" to do the right thing afterwards, but that still wasnt good enough.
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| Posted 9/2/14 1:37 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Annoying or not a big deal
Wouldn't even bother me. Plenty more nights during the school year to have dinner as a family...
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| Posted 9/2/14 1:54 PM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Annoying or not a big deal
Eh, it's annoying, but not a big deal. To me, it sounds like he changed his plans to going out instead of BBQing to make you happy, so you can't be upset that he won't be home, since you just said you didn't want company.
DH isn't home for dinner 2 nights a week. Is it annoying? Yes, but I'm def not upset over it.
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| Posted 9/2/14 2:04 PM |
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evenedan
Need a little sunshine
Member since 9/05 3843 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Annoying or not a big deal
I'd be annoyed because I would feel like he's missing out on an opportunity to be there for his kids. I remember how insanely nervous I got before the start of school, so I would never not want to be there for my kid on the eve of school starting.
That being said, I know not everyone (over)thinks about things the way that I do. So I'd suck it up, as long as this wasn't a pattern for DH. If he's a "family first" kind of guy every other day of the year, I'd forgive him this.
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| Posted 9/2/14 2:52 PM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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Re: Annoying or not a big deal
Posted by EricaAlt
I feel you, but (don't take it the wrong way) it does sound like PMS'ing too. I feel like when I have a lot on my mind and the stress of getting ready for school, back to routine, etc... I like to have an easy transition.
It's really not a big deal, but hormones can make us women more stressed then there really needs to be.
Enjoy some quiet time after the boys go to bed and grab a glass of wine.
This! lol I find our bedtime routine goes much smoother when DH is out =/
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| Posted 9/2/14 2:58 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Annoying or not a big deal
Annoying - and made worse by PMS.
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| Posted 9/2/14 3:16 PM |
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tann22
LIF Adult
Member since 6/05 2421 total posts
Name:
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Re: Annoying or not a big deal
I see where you're coming from but I wouldn't be annoyed. My DH Is going to NJ the night before school starts for a fantasy football draft But I really can't complain he hardly goes out and he is a SAHD so he has been with the kids all summer & needs a night out. I'm actually looking forward to a quiet night to myself lol
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| Posted 9/2/14 3:52 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Annoying or not a big deal
Posted by MarisaK
Annoying - and made worse by PMS.
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| Posted 9/2/14 4:05 PM |
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tryin4baby3
LIF Toddler
Member since 8/12 425 total posts
Name:
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Annoying or not a big deal
I think it depends on your family. I'd be annoyed. Kids come first and it's important to make these special days special for my kids. Dinner together is a big deal for us. Personally, I wouldn't voluntarily miss dinner the day before/of a big day for my kids. Work obligations perhaps....depending on the importance of the day for my kid and of the work event. I can't imagine skipping dinner on a day important to my kid just to hany out with friends, and I expect the same of my dh. But...not all families are that way.
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| Posted 9/2/14 4:21 PM |
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SandL
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/12 541 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Annoying or not a big deal
Def not big deal in my house.
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| Posted 9/2/14 4:52 PM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Re: Annoying or not a big deal
Posted by tryin4baby3
I think it depends on your family. I'd be annoyed. Kids come first and it's important to make these special days special for my kids. Dinner together is a big deal for us. Personally, I wouldn't voluntarily miss dinner the day before/of a big day for my kids. Work obligations perhaps....depending on the importance of the day for my kid and of the work event. I can't imagine skipping dinner on a day important to my kid just to hany out with friends, and I expect the same of my dh. But...not all families are that way.[/QUOTE
Same here. Any other night, not a big deal. He can grab dinner any day and the golf course isn't going anywhere. Your child will only have one first day of school this year. I could never imagine making social plans the night before and night of my child's first day and I'd expect the same of my husband. I'm surprised how many mom's wouldn't care!!!
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| Posted 9/2/14 5:20 PM |
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