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ImAFazz717
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/09 544 total posts
Name:
Jenny: Due 6.30.10
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Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
I've mentioned before... I have a severe stomach condition that is heightened by stress/anxiety...
Last year was my bridal shower- and i was sick the entire week after being surprised!!
I've decided I want to k now when my shower is, to avoid any added stress that day....
My MIL is extremely against it- and so is her family makign comments about "why should we even go then if u know about it" etc...
My husband is coming to the shower to, and we have invited my FIL and dad for their own table... So, we are in no way having a traditional shower to begin with...
What are your thoughts/suggestions? Pretend i dont know about it that day ?
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Posted 3/1/10 10:26 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
I have anxiety and I would have MORE anxiety about KNOWING about it, worrying about it before hand and then agonizing over how to act when I walked in.
Not knowing, for ME, is better. I walked into my bridal shower and cried. I was shaking and hugging everyone and needed a few minutes. Normal reaction. If I had KNOWN about it and STILL freaked out, kind of strange reaction that I would have felt uncomfortable about.
You have to do what would make YOU happy. 
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:30 AM |
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ImAFazz717
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/09 544 total posts
Name:
Jenny: Due 6.30.10
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
Posted by Tilde
I have anxiety and I would have MORE anxiety about KNOWING about it, worrying about it before hand and then agonizing over how to act when I walked in.
Not knowing, for ME, is better. I walked into my bridal shower and cried. I was shaking and hugging everyone and needed a few minutes. Normal reaction. If I had KNOWN about it and STILL freaked out, kind of strange reaction that I would have felt uncomfortable about.
You have to do what would make YOU happy.
I would be there to greet everyone though :)
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:31 AM |
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NotOnLI
LIF Infant
Member since 2/09 344 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
My bridal shower was a surprise and I understood why...I guess tradition? But I feel baby showers are different. This will not be a surprise and my mom and sisters have agreed to that.
I know it's coming, I know they are planning something, so I just want to know. I will be there to greet everyone as they come in.
I honestly don't know of many baby showers that are a surprise...all the ones I've gone to this last year have been planned along with the mom to be.
eta: can they just tell you when it is, and for the sake of your IL's, just pretend?
Message edited 3/1/2010 10:35:02 AM.
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:34 AM |
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Cpt2007
A new love!
Member since 1/08 5946 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
you need to do what makes it easier for you.
I know about both of my showers (family and work). The family one is out of town with all guests coming from out of town, and the work one, well, my former boss is holding it at her home on a Sunday and she wanted to make sure that the date worked for me.
There is no written rule that says you cannot know about your shower. And if you became physically ill over your bridal shower, then you should absolutely know this time around b/c your health is all the more important!
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:34 AM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
Posted by ImAFazz717
Posted by Tilde
I have anxiety and I would have MORE anxiety about KNOWING about it, worrying about it before hand and then agonizing over how to act when I walked in.
Not knowing, for ME, is better. I walked into my bridal shower and cried. I was shaking and hugging everyone and needed a few minutes. Normal reaction. If I had KNOWN about it and STILL freaked out, kind of strange reaction that I would have felt uncomfortable about.
You have to do what would make YOU happy.
I would be there to greet everyone though :)
Oh, well I have never been to a shower where the guest of honor didnt have the big walk in, even if she kind of knew about it. . .
BUT who cares? if it makes you feel better, you have to do it - we can't take anxiety meds you know?
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:37 AM |
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jennarose023
Jack's gonna be a big brother!
Member since 11/08 7769 total posts
Name:
Jenna
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
i knew about my bridal shower and i know the date for my baby shower...i didn't want to be surprised when i show up in sweats with my hair a mess and no makeup...you MIL should respect the fact that this should be whatever makes you happy...hope it all works out!
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:38 AM |
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Deeluvsvinny
DONE
Member since 10/08 4952 total posts
Name:
Whatever
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
I knew about mine. I helped plan it! I knew I was having one and told my mom that at 8 months preggo, I jsut wasn't up to being surprised. I am an emotional mess and I teared up several times at the shower as it was!
I think you just need to do what works best for you and tell MIL it's YOUR day and she can keep quiet!
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:38 AM |
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HonoluluBaby
LIF Infant
Member since 12/08 92 total posts
Name:
Lulu ;-)
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
It sounds like it would be better for you to know. If I were you I wouldn't totally pretend to be surprised but if people asked, I would just say something like, "I had an idea" or "There were some clues".
I'm desperately trying to remain surprised for my shower (I love surprises) but I'm not around the best secret keepers.
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| Posted 3/1/10 10:40 AM |
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BellaRock
I am all the Me I will ever Be
Member since 5/06 9746 total posts
Name:
She who shall remain nameless
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
I wasn't suppose to know the date but my girlfriend didn't book the hall when she was supposed to and lost the dates they wanted. So my DH and her had to ask me what worked better because the only date for the hall I liked was near a holiday.
So now I know the date, time and location. 
I'm fine with knowing. No one invited knows I know so I will still show up after the guest and act surprise lol. I know my baby shower theme will be monkeys but I don't know what they bought or how it will be decorated. So at least I will walk in to something surprising.
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| Posted 3/1/10 11:35 AM |
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MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
i know about mine.. i will be there before any of the guests get there.. so i dont have to walk in like its a surpise when its not! so it will be easier to greet a few people at a time and its not so overwhelming.
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| Posted 3/1/10 11:45 AM |
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Momma2Be
Mommy of an angel
Member since 10/09 5911 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
I knew the date, location, and even helped plan a little.
My feeling was it is not a good idea to surprise/scare a woman who is 8 months pregnant.
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| Posted 3/1/10 11:50 AM |
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pinkiegirl
Member since 7/07 2160 total posts
Name:
Dana
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
I just went with my parents and husband to book mine yesterday!
I wanted to know, but told my mom I really don't want to involved in every single detail
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| Posted 3/1/10 12:24 PM |
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skinny
3 boys and a princess!
Member since 11/08 8178 total posts
Name:
Momma
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
I know about mine. A baby shower is different from a bridal shower IMO. You don't feel particularly great about your appearance and need to plan accordingly! Why does your MIL need to tell family members that you know?
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| Posted 3/1/10 12:36 PM |
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OStewarts
LIF Adult
Member since 11/07 1096 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
Posted by Momma2Be
I knew the date, location, and even helped plan a little.
My feeling was it is not a good idea to surprise/scare a woman who is 8 months pregnant.
Same here. Can you ask your DH to talk with his Mom and let him know that this is what you want and that it makes things easier for you ??
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| Posted 3/1/10 12:44 PM |
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chickiemom
LOVE my boys!!
Member since 10/09 1473 total posts
Name:
Leanne
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
I just had mine on saturday and didn't know till the week before. I wanted it to be a surprise but I had a lamaze class the same day so they had to tell me about the shower so I could reschedule the class. I told them not to tell me where it was though and my sister surprised me by coming to it from out of town. It was still a great day.
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| Posted 3/1/10 12:48 PM |
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MrsScott
So in Love
Member since 1/09 3356 total posts
Name:
Shawna
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
My shower is a surprise no matter how much I told them I don't want a surprise shower but i give up its co-ed so I will take it with a grain of salt just hoping someone slips and tells when it is
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| Posted 3/1/10 12:49 PM |
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azoodie
Member since 8/05 8377 total posts
Name:
Team SEXY BACK
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
Posted by MetsGirl07
i know about mine.. i will be there before any of the guests get there.. so i dont have to walk in like its a surpise when its not! so it will be easier to greet a few people at a time and its not so overwhelming.
Same here. Most of my friends know I know about it too. They have been telling me they got the invitation 
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| Posted 3/1/10 12:51 PM |
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bluekat16
My boys :-)
Member since 3/09 6659 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
I know about my shower. I even picked the date and the invitations and mailed it out.
My Mom, SIL and MIL are paying for it. I wanted to know becasue I always find out anyway and because my mom is involved. It's just easier for me to be the liason between my mom and SIL and MIL...my mom's enlgish is broken so certain communication issues can come up. I rather be involved so nothing is lost in translation.
you have to do what works for you and what makes it less stressful for you...whoever doesn't like it...too bad!
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| Posted 3/1/10 12:51 PM |
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Christine2
LIF Adult
Member since 2/09 1217 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
My bridal shower was not a shock, at all. I helped plan it, send the invites, etc. My family wants the baby shower to be a surprise, but I think I will still know when it is coming. Your family will start to slip and say things like, you know you really should look into buying a maternity dress, or something like, well on Saturday we need to go to so and so. I would love for it to be a surprise, though, I am just sure it won't be...
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| Posted 3/1/10 12:55 PM |
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MamaLeen
:)
Member since 10/09 4594 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
Posted by jennarose023
i knew about my bridal shower and i know the date for my baby shower...i didn't want to be surprised when i show up in sweats with my hair a mess and no makeup...you MIL should respect the fact that this should be whatever makes you happy...hope it all works out!
ITA I would be so ****** if I looked like a slob bc I didnt know. I also agree w/pp that the last thing you wanna do is scare an 8 month old preggo
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| Posted 3/1/10 1:03 PM |
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
I hate people who try to force a surprise on you. If you don't like to be surprised tell them to F off. Its your life and they should be catering to you not the other way around....I knew about both my bridal shower and my 1st baby shower and I loved iyt that way! I wouldn't have it any other way!
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| Posted 3/1/10 1:18 PM |
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jerseygirl
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/08 808 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
I know exactly when and where my shower is. I really hate suprises, so I told my mom from the start that I need to know. I could honestly care less if other people are annoyed that I know (even though I doubt anyone would be) But..I will be coming later then the guests this way I'm the last to arrive, so everyone is there already and the room is all set up.
PS...and being 8 months pregnant...I'll probably cry walking in anyway.
Message edited 3/1/2010 1:48:24 PM.
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| Posted 3/1/10 1:47 PM |
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LoveyQ
Stalkers, get a life.
Member since 11/07 12820 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
I know about mine. That was my request. My bridal shower was a surprise and I liked it that way, but I did NOT want my baby shower to be a surprise.
Quite honestly, why does anyone need to know if you know or not? Just ask your mom or DH to tell you the date and don't even bother telling anyone else you knew. Then that day you can just say you had a suspicion it was coming or whatever. I can't believe people actually don't want to go/buy you a gift if you know about it. Seriously? 
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| Posted 3/1/10 1:55 PM |
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mishka
love my little emmy monster
Member since 8/09 1473 total posts
Name:
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Re: Baby Shower- Who knows/knew about theirs??
I knew the date of my bridal shower and I know the dates of my baby showers.
for me...it's nearly impossible for me not to know the date because I have so many things going on and plans for diff events etc. so to have the date be a surprise does not work for me at all.
even if u know the date...they can still keep some aspects a surprise...like the place or the decor etc.
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| Posted 3/1/10 2:15 PM |
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