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Can I ask a question? And this is honestly me not understanding so bear with me....
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Can I ask a question? And this is honestly me not understanding so bear with me....
i am not like that, but i know people who are. for them it's cultural. that's how they were brought up and that's how they feel you should parent.
some people are also paranoid/overprotective and don't like leaving their LOs with anyone.
I also have a friend who does not have a lot of family/friends that they can count on so they take DS as many places as they can because they have noone to leave him with.
it could be a lot of different things. I know i could never go on a vacation with DS and call it a vacation for me. might as well stay home cause i won't be getting any rest. 
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Posted 6/4/11 4:42 PM  |
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Elizabeth720
LIF Infant
Member since 10/05 192 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can I ask a question? And this is honestly me not understanding so bear with me....
I am a FTWM. In my situation, that means that I commute to the city and come home between 7:15 - 7:30 PM every night and my son goes to sleep at 8:30 PM. This is my daily struggle and I LIVE to come home at night to spend an hour to an hour and 15 minutes with my son.
With that being said, I am so excited for the weekends to come to know that I get to spend so much time with him. I hate leaving him -- even if it's only a couple of hours. And if I do choose to leave him/or have to leave him...I would rather spend that time away from him with my husband.
I am lucky in the sense that I made a very good friend at work and feel that between eating lunch together, etc, I have enough "me" time daily.
However, from what I understand, my friends that are SAHMs need that alone/"me" time, which makes TOTAL sense to me.
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| Posted 6/4/11 9:55 PM |
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TripletMom
My crazy Trio
Member since 3/09 2246 total posts
Name:
Paula
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Re: Can I ask a question? And this is honestly me not understanding so bear with me....
Maybe I am a BAD Mommy but any chance I get to do things away from the kids I jump on it..... I love my kids but I like to have "ME" time.
I have gone away for 4 days without them and didnt feel guilty at all.
Some people just dont feel comfortable leaving their kids with other people...I dont mind it as long as its somebody trustworthy..which ends up being my Mom most of the time or my cousin.
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| Posted 6/4/11 10:00 PM |
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jozieb0925
Double Trouble!
Member since 5/05 4358 total posts
Name:
Josie
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Re: Can I ask a question? And this is honestly me not understanding so bear with me....
sorry...responded to wrong thread.
Message edited 6/4/2011 10:14:53 PM.
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| Posted 6/4/11 10:11 PM |
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mlny
blessed <3
Member since 10/09 2113 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Can I ask a question? And this is honestly me not understanding so bear with me....
I am a SAHM and I think I may fall into the category of I bring my son everywhere. For me when I am without him it doesn't feel like a 'break'.. I just feel like something is missing. 
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| Posted 6/5/11 12:40 AM |
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Mrs007
Im obsessed w my lil man!
Member since 3/09 2528 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Can I ask a question? And this is honestly me not understanding so bear with me....
My DS is only 8 weeks old but DH and I discussed this issue when we decided to TTC. We both felt that it was important to have family time, "me" time, DH's "me time", and time alone for DH and I.
DS is so small and needs a lot of attention right now, so we dont really do too much of our individual "me"times yet. Right now my "me" time is going for a walk/run when DH comes home from work. Its only for a short time but it gets me away to recharge and spend some quality time with myself  Last night my cousins came to town so my mom took the baby so we could enjoy a night out, and I think grandma wanted to spend some quality time with DS too
I just believe that there needs to be a balance. Spending every waking second with your DC IMO is not healthy, neither is dropping off your DC to a sitter every weekend so you can party.
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| Posted 6/5/11 10:43 AM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Can I ask a question? And this is honestly me not understanding so bear with me....
For me the answer to your question is pretty simple - because this is my family right now and I love to spend time with them for as long as we are at this stage in our life! DH and I do things together alone when we feel we want to - we have date nights/afternoons and have taken one overnight vaca without the kids but, generally, we do things as a family because that is what makes US happy. DH and I were together for many years b/f getting married and were married for 4 yrs b/f kids. We fully enjoyed that time in our lives. Now, we are fully enjoying this time - and, believe it or not, it won't last forever - we both know that b/f we know it the kids will be grown up and everything will be different.
So yes, we actually feel sad when we get invited to weddings etc. and the kids are not invited b/c the kids LOVE weddings and parites and we all have so much fun together there and I honestly feel bad to leave them home and have them miss out. We like taking family vacations to have those memories together since we have had plenty of memories without them.
Of course, there are times when we have had enough and need a few hours to ourselves to enjoy a meal or some quiet time - of course. And, then, we make plans to go out for the night or a few hours alone without the kids. But, for us, that is the exception rather than the norm.
For me, its pretty much the same reason I decided to leave my career and be a SAHM - this is just another phase of my life I want to enjoy and cherish before it is gone.
Also, want to say for the poster that posted this:
Posted by nrthshgrl
However, I think it's healthier for a child to have time away from the parent & vice versa. As a BTDT, who has seen countess kids with separation anxiety in pre-school, kindergarten, hysterical sobbing in 1st grade & 2nd grade, I do think it's a disservice to your child to not expose them to other caregivers (whether it be daycare, aunts, uncles, grandparents).
In my experience this assessment is way off. Is it healthy for a child to have SOME time a way - sure, maybe but, I don't think it is a disservice to be their primary caregiver. I have seen just the OPPOSITE in practice. As a SAHM I am all around everywhere and it's the kids the kids that are in daycare, school too early or with the nanny or grandparent too often that actually HAVE the issues - these are the kids that are clingy (even with strangers) and needy and have anxiety in my experience. I have seen kids screaming and clinging to the music together teacher desperate for attention! My child cried for one day when he went to preschool and went every day happily after that. There were kids in his class that were brought by the nanny every day that cried for months. There is one child in his class that is brought by the nanny 3 days a week and on the days with her mom screams every day when she leaves the car. Every time I see her at events she is clinging to her mom - almost afraid to let her go. And, its not even this a lot of the time it comes out in behaviorial issues in school etc. I find the kids that have their moms around 24/7 to be a lot more secure, confident and independant etc. than those that have been left.
But, I think this is all a generalization b/c I think it really depends on the CHILD and not the situation. But, I wanted to comment b/c that is your opinion and, in my experience it does not hold true at all.
Message edited 6/5/2011 11:20:26 AM.
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| Posted 6/5/11 11:14 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Can I ask a question? And this is honestly me not understanding so bear with me....
Posted by nov04libride
Posted by Xelindrya
meh to each their own
*shrug*
But to be fair.. I said I spend time without her. As a matter of fact she's sort of moving out of our house in less than 5days to go live with my aunt for the summer. We will have her back on weekends. Yes, I've done stuff without her but I *WANT* her there all the time. Maybe my relationship with my husband is different than yours.
I repeat to each their own.
My own, is not me, him, then kids. Its me and her through and through. But that's because I'm the product of a divorced family, maybe. I love him and he's a great father but I don't and won't say that he comes before her.
Again we're not talking life choices. I mean jeez this was about vacations and going out and about. I don't see how that matters to who comes first in your life. Cause My dad outranks my hubby too, big deal. *shrug*
For me. AJ outranks everyone. Just is what it is (FOR NOW) I'm not naive enough to think it will be that way forever.
V, I can tell how much you adore AJ, but if you feel like you want and need to be with her all the time, why the post on the other thread that says that she spends Fri-Sun at your aunt's every weekend (unless you all stay there?)?
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| Posted 6/5/11 5:32 PM |
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