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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
Posted by Xelindrya
I want my say dang it. And so far I see how they seem to have their minds set on things (prez-viceprez) and don't really ASK for much opinions other than how to implement it. I like to be the voice that asks, can we have alternatives?
i'm the opposite. i don't want or need a say. let the teachers do the things they think are right for their classes. i have full confidence that what they are doing for the school is for the best of everyone and i don't need alternatives.
i want no part in the pta other than to donate money or supplies where needed. i'll help if asked, but as a teacher, i've seen way too much of the other side to ever want to be a part of that. i will support my kids' classes, but i'm tired of being questioned on every little thing i do and i refuse to do that to my kids' teachers.
i don't ever want to be "that mom", i want to be the supportive mom that teachers actually enjoy having help out.
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Posted 12/13/10 9:03 AM  |
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
Posted by ChrisDee
Posted by LSP2005
I remember the PTA being political back when I was a kid. I am a class mom. I also volunteer for a lot of school activities. My feeling is that I like to communicate with the parents in my son's class. If I don't want to be in the dark about something, I figure that they don't want to be either, so I really try to communicate the essentials. I raised the exact point that you posted - why are we collecting $, where is the money going, how is it being spent, what do we plan to do in the future, how can we accomplish these goals, etc. I share that info with the parent's in DSs class.
As a class mom, I always send home a very specific list of where the money is going. How many parties or functions there will be and how much is allocated for each. If we are buying a gift for the teacher, I always tell in advance what it is that we are buying. I also like to let everyone know that sending in money is NOT mandatory and if you do not or can not, NOBODY will know about it.
ETA: I have kicked in more money than I care to remember to make sure that the kids had what they needed for parties, crafts etc. when other parents could not or would not chip in.
I will probably be the same. I do believe it is what you make of it, and there will always be some people that are never happy no matter what you do. So make the best of it right.
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| Posted 12/13/10 9:12 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
My mom was president of the equivalent of the PTA at my school for several years (Catholic school). I saw firsthand how much work she put into it and it was a LOT. I also did see her up at school fairly often, but we didn't really get any special advantage because of it, at least not that I am aware of, but that's because my mom wouldn't have looked for it. She also didn't speak about other adults in front of us, so I think to say that all PTA members would be gossipy is making a huge generalization that isn't always true.
I am a mom who works full time outside of the home. Just because of that, I will not be as involved as other parents. DS is in preschool right now and has a wonderful class mom that tries to have everyone participate, even if it's just a little bit. I REALLY don't want to turn this into a SAHM vs. FTWM debate, but my hope is that in the future, there are at least some events scheduled outside of 9-5 hours so that I don't always have to miss work to attend. I also hope that if I do take time off to help or participate that I will be welcomed and not seen as an outsider, since it's not something I will be able to do very often.
I also think the class gift thing was not an issue when I was younger, my mom bought each of our teachers an individual gift and that was that. I taught school in the early 90s and where I was, the same thing happened. I see how the intent of the class gift is a good one, but sometimes, as with all group gifts, the execution is not always great. It depends on who organizes it.
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| Posted 12/13/10 9:18 AM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
It can definitely be very drama filled...
The twin's grade is filled with moms who are all about appearances and like to prove that they are a good parent by being super involved in their child's school...(when in reality they are so wrapped up in appearances that they are doing a really crappy job)...
The year after the girls isnt so bad and the parents are actually working together towards a common goal....Refreshing change....
Since I have zero tolerance for BS I tend to steer clear of these types of things. I prefer to just give them all a constipated smile and non committal wave...
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| Posted 12/13/10 9:25 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
 
I have zero tolerance for bs and cliquey ish. I don't know what my role will be, but I, like Janice, will be all up in there. 
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| Posted 12/13/10 9:33 AM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
I will do as much as I can being a working mother, however I spent all of this saturday serving vegan chick pea curry, that I cooked nonetheless to the PC parents at my sons school, I got roped into this by going to the weekly coffee morning at the school as a good way to meet other parents...and it worked! I think that being involved means that you know whats going on in school, and that can only be a good thing. Bring it on.
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| Posted 12/13/10 9:35 AM |
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KrisT
Two Boys for Me!!
Member since 1/07 5213 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
I'm not really sure. I would like to be involved and would definitely like to help out or chaperone a class trip, but I don't see myself being PTA president or anything like that.
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| Posted 12/13/10 9:50 AM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
My DS goes to Pre-K full time. I am part of the Parenting Club. Im not an officer or anything, but, am a member. It's only December and so far the events at the school have been pretty successful.
I want to be involved as much as possible.
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| Posted 12/13/10 9:52 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
I'm part of the PTA for my daughter's preschool, and they've asked me to run it next year, which I will do. There's no - absolutely NO drama at our school, otherwise I would have never joined.
I've found the opposite - we've all had our children in the school together since they've been 3 months old. We are all a surrogate family to one another - we all check-in on each other's kids during the day, several moms take Alex home with them for a playdate at least once a week, and, through our connection through the PTA, we've become very close to one another and have become a surrogate family in a way. I was just lamenting last night that I can't send Alex to a certain camp because I can't get there in time to pick her up, and 3 of the mom's offered to pick her up everyday during the summer so we can do it!
I socialize with all of the parents at least 2-3 times a week, through playdates, birthday events, school events, etc. I get all of my information from them on school districts, camps, pediatrician's, etc. I just had most of the families over our house on Saturday for a latke party, and we're all getting together with the kids for New Year's. We also picked two families at a local hospital and, as a group, collected gifts to drop off last week for the holidays.
I was just remarking to DH last night that I've never met a more close-knit, supportive, kind, generous group of women in my life, and I'm so incredibly grateful for it, especially considering I don't have any family to help out with the girls. So, yes, I'm sure that there are schools where drama is rampant, but it doesn't have to be that way.
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| Posted 12/13/10 10:03 AM |
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Livysmom
LIF Toddler
Member since 10/10 392 total posts
Name:
Bonnie
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
I work FT so i do not plan on being part of the PTA. MY SIL is on the PTA of the same school DD will be going to and my neighbor said she plans on joining next year so i'll know everything thats going on by talking to them 
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| Posted 12/13/10 10:10 AM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
Posted by speakthetruth
Posted by Xelindrya
Im a class mom AND in the PTA, PLUS a PTA board member!
AJ is 2
I want my say dang it. And so far I see how they seem to have their minds set on things (prez-viceprez) and don't really ASK for much opinions other than how to implement it. I like to be the voice that asks, can we have alternatives?
I've been the President of the National Association of Insurance Women in NYC. Board member for years before that. I know the drill. I just prefer back seat this go around. Though I'm sure in a few years I'll throw my hat in for Prez.
so is it really just for personal gain/notoriety for the most part? You sound normal and sane and that you actually care..which I am sure may be rare...but is it really like a bunch of sharks?
haha I am neither normal nor sane 
I think the majority of my group does care. I think the issue is who has the ballz to do something. I try to empower the timid voice in the back. Ya know, So Cindy do you have any thoughts? I don't understand why anyone let themselves be walked over. But you get what you give. So if you give nothing you get no respect back. You gotta remember, they can't kick you out, they can't exclude you and in my school the teachers are never going to mistreat your kid. I think it will get to be more politics later on though.
I know it. I see it, and I want in before AJ suffers. I know that sounds stupid and as if I am feeding the machine. But we're new to the area, AJ is an only child. I need to network FOR her and the way for me to start is with PTA.
I'm the artistic one. I provide all sorts of art crafts for whatever they are doing. But I also like to be the champion to the less vocal (as said above) because god knows if its something I'm passionate about you can't shut me up!
We are doing a garden. Each class will have its own garden to grow and care for. I'm in that committee. I am in the committee for the fall festival. But I don't really care what or how they do the xmas stuff, gifts, charity. I don't care about the Spring Social other than to help decorate.
I pick and choose my battles. Like for the Fall Festival I said have a costume parade but EVERYONE wins or gets something. That idea went over well, etc. Somehow providing xmas gifts to a battered women's shelter fell on deaf ears but the Homeless Shelter was supported. Meh. Its all relative.
But gods yes its political, its all who you know, etc. Thankfully, our school is brand new so there's no existing gossip circle or ways things were done. So I'm in - in the beginning! ha!
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| Posted 12/13/10 10:15 AM |
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XcalystaX
Sooo Sleep Deprived....
Member since 7/06 2742 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
I haven't even thought about this until this thread, but I am not sure how involved I can be considering I work full time.  Are any PTA moms also working full time? I went to Catholic schools until I went to college, so this whole concept is new to me.
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| Posted 12/13/10 10:28 AM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
I plan to be involved in my children's PTA, not be the class mom or president but I'll help out with fundraising, events, etc.
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| Posted 12/13/10 12:42 PM |
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twinkletoes807
Mommy's Girls! ♥
Member since 11/07 10116 total posts
Name:
Gabi
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
Since I never had my parents as part of the PTA, I hope to be involved for my girls. I always assumed that I would start working day tours once DD#2 went to Kindergarten so I can have a more normal family life but thinking about it now, I may continue working 4x12s so that I can be involved before I leave for work at 2pm! 
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| Posted 12/13/10 12:52 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
I think there was always political nonsense. My mom tells me that it always sucked to be a FTWM because she would take off once or twice a year to chaperone trips and she always got the crummy ones. The class mom's and their SAHM friends got all the good ones.
Which by the way, thinking waaaaay far ahead is so upsetting to think about because, I will just die if I can't go to safety town with my kid!!!!
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| Posted 12/13/10 1:00 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
...
Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
I'm a class mom and very involved with PTA. I chair 2 committees. Our PTA can be political at times, but mostly its just a bunch of moms who really want to help the school and the kids.
As for asking for $$ for teacher gifts, we just sent out a letter asking for $5 per child. We will see how much money we get, then purchase a gift card for the teacher and aides. It honestly never occured to me that any parent would be annoyed to not know what was purchased. Usually, the teacher sends a thank you note home THE DAY she gets the gift thanking each child for the specific gift "thank you so much for the Macys GC".
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| Posted 12/13/10 1:05 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
I haven't seen any problems at DD's school, but it's only been a few months. It seems like this year the 5th grade committee has some drama, but overall it's been a really pleasant experience.
I joined the PTA and go to the meetings and everyone has been super nice. DH and I know quite a few people from high school so I guess that helps. I volunteered to chair a new playground fundraising committee and so far the PTA presidents and the school administration have been really helpful, as have the PTAs and administrations of other local schools that have recently put in new playgrounds.
There are 3 class moms for DD's class and I get along with all of them. One of them lives on my block and another is one of my Daisy Scout co-leaders. The class moms asked us for a certain amount of money at the beginning of the year for holiday and year end gifts for the teacher as well as a few parties throughout the year, and they always reach out to 3 additional parents to help out at the parties so we all get a chance to do something with the class.
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| Posted 12/13/10 1:12 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
Posted by XcalystaX
I haven't even thought about this until this thread, but I am not sure how involved I can be considering I work full time. Are any PTA moms also working full time? I went to Catholic schools until I went to college, so this whole concept is new to me.
Our PTA alternates meetings between evenings and mornings. Several of the executive board members work full time and have someone else give their report for them the months we have morning meetings.
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| Posted 12/13/10 1:14 PM |
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
My mom was class mother when I was in the younger grades and she was always very involved with my Girl Scout groups. She knew the PTA moms but she did not participate in a lot with the PTA. She says that a parent must stay on top of what is going on. She did not challenge my teachers unless it was totally necessary but to this day, she regrets not challenging one specific teacher. I am on the board of a professional organization and I am loving it and learning so much. I will probably become involved in a similar way with my son's school. I feel strongly that I would have no right to complain unless I am involved. I do not like when people who do not want to do anything complain about the ones who devote their time and resources.
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| Posted 12/13/10 1:20 PM |
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XcalystaX
Sooo Sleep Deprived....
Member since 7/06 2742 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Can we talk about what kind of mom you will be when your kid is in school? re: PTA/class mom drama?
Posted by CathyB
Posted by XcalystaX
I haven't even thought about this until this thread, but I am not sure how involved I can be considering I work full time. Are any PTA moms also working full time? I went to Catholic schools until I went to college, so this whole concept is new to me.
Our PTA alternates meetings between evenings and mornings. Several of the executive board members work full time and have someone else give their report for them the months we have morning meetings.
Thanks for the info! That is great to hear. I would love to help out with my DD's schooling any way I can.
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| Posted 12/13/10 1:20 PM |
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