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LovesMike
LIF Adult
Member since 8/10 978 total posts
Name:
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Day Care - where to start?
I'm due in late April and want to start discussing our options with DH because I think he is going to have a rude awakening when it comes to costs.
I will have to go back to work when DD is just 6 months old and I'm HOPING that we can have family help until she is at least 1. What is a fair per diem rate to offer to family? I'm thinking my sister or an aunt might be able to help. If my mom can, she probably wouldn't take any money - I'm sure of it.
Should I start looking into facilities just in case family falls through? I so want to be prepared for this, to start budgeting for it, and have a plan. I know we have time, but it will make me feel better.
How did you figure this out? Did you? TIA!
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Posted 12/5/14 11:23 AM  |
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MrsS6510
2 girls?!?!?
Member since 9/10 3318 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
We have family watching DD. My MIL watches her 3 days per week because she doesn't work, my father 1 day a week (he works part time), and my sister one day a week.
MIL made it clear while I was preggo that "No grandchild of mine will be taken care of in day care"  so that automatically put her at the top of the list. Yet she maintains that she just can't do 5 days per week
My father offered to do one day so I took him up on that, and my sister made a comment one day "What day do I get?" So I quickly jumped on that one as well 
Honestly, we never even thought to offer money. We just buy them extra nice gifts for Christmas and birthdays and buy them dinner every once in a while. My MIL watches DD at her house, so we bought a stroller and high chair and supplied her with diapers, wipes, etc. My father watches DD at my house, so he uses everything here, and my sister does the one day at her place, so again, we supplied her with a pack and play, high chair, diapers, wipes, etc.
It's been working out great so far, I just feel bad for DD because she's always bounced around!
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| Posted 12/5/14 11:27 AM |
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Lola64
She is my heart!
Member since 1/11 1110 total posts
Name:
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
My parents are watching DD currently 5 days a week. They are snow birds and go down to Florida Jan, Feb and March. For those months we are taking her to a daycare that is run in someone's home in our town that came highly recommended. We were lucky enough that she had a spot open. DD will be there 5 days a week in Jan, 4 days a week in Feb & March (I'll be working from home 1 day).
When my parents come home in April they will be watching her 2 days a week and she'll be in the daycare the other 2 days.
I didn't even think to offer my parents any money to watch her. They love watching her and are going to miss her so much while they're away. I do try to provide them with diapers and wipes and any other supplies I can think of. They do have a bunch of items that the received.
I am getting them a bigger Christmas gift as our way of saying thank you for watching her 5 days a week.
A traditional daycare wasn't going to work for us because of the days/times we would need and how they changed. Some day cares you need to commit to them for a certain amount of days and if you don't need them for certain days you still have to pay them.
Ask around for recommendations and take a look at what each will require. Put your name on the waiting list for the one you like just in case the family members don't pan out.
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| Posted 12/5/14 11:34 AM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
I would ask them first if they can do it. I dont think family would expect money but like the PP said buying them nice birthday/holiday gifts would be nice.
With DS up until he was 2 we had a combo of a babysitter and family help watch him. Now he's in a school and honestly it makes our lives so much easier. I think for #2 I am going to look into daycares even though its going to cost a huge chunk of what I make... I am kind of procrastinating for now and will revisit this issue later.
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| Posted 12/5/14 11:36 AM |
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LovesMike
LIF Adult
Member since 8/10 978 total posts
Name:
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
Thanks all. Asking family now is kind of complicated. I know my mom wants to do this for us, but she is recently sick and although she is undergoing treatments and we are all sure she is going to be fine, I don't know what kind of shape she is going to be in when the baby comes. I just don't know. My dad is also retired, so possibly between the two of them they could manage, but I just don't want to burden my mom and I don't want to talk to her too much about it and upset her.
My sister I would offer money because she is a stay at home wife and I'm sure they could use some extra money. Same with the aunts I was mentioning, single moms, off and on work in daycare, so I would think they actually need the money.
It just seems so abstract and far away right now, and I am kind of waiting for some bright idea to hit me or someone to come out of the woodwork (as seems to have happened for so many of my friends), but I want to be prepared if none of that happens.
I will start asking around for daycare reccs - we likely need long hours too since I work in the city. Why does this have to be so hard?
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| Posted 12/5/14 11:42 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Day Care - where to start?
We had a mix of family and daycare. Ds started daycare 2 days a week when he was 8 weeks old. We quickly added a day when we realized family is not the best solution sometimes.
We had an issue where my MIL was watching DS 2 days and she was continually calling us telling us she could do one of her days....Thank God my FIL (divorced ILs) was very flexible and he was able to pick up her days at a moments notice. My Daycare was also brand new and was not at capacity and helped out on short notice if they had the staff scheduled.
You will also here plenty of stores where parent had issues where family was not listening to the "rules" the parents put in place regarding feeding and sleeping etc.
We all have different situations and my advice it just be open to it all as things can change once the baby is here.
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| Posted 12/5/14 12:03 PM |
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Jenn79
One more?
Member since 2/12 2410 total posts
Name:
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
We started with family too. I changed to full time daycare after a couple months. For many reasons. But sometimes family isn't "easier" or the best situation. In daycare I just feel like the teachers/directors etc are always there to make sure we are still happy. They go out of their way sometimes. This was not the case for family. Plus iits so much easier to have a place by my house for drop off/pick ups and going to the same spot every day.
For the baby room at my daycare it's $272/week for full time. Just to give you an idea.
Message edited 12/5/2014 1:15:21 PM.
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| Posted 12/5/14 1:14 PM |
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LovesMike
LIF Adult
Member since 8/10 978 total posts
Name:
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
Posted by Jenn79
We started with family too. I changed to full time daycare after a couple months. For many reasons. But sometimes family isn't "easier" or the best situation. In daycare I just feel like the teachers/directors etc are always there to make sure we are still happy. They go out of their way sometimes. This was not the case for family. Plus iits so much easier to have a place by my house for drop off/pick ups and going to the same spot every day.
For the baby room at my daycare it's $272/week for full time. Just to give you an idea.
Do you mind telling me who you use? You can FM if that is better. My SIL was just telling me they paid $600/week for care 3 days!!! That was in a home, but still group care. Is that a lot?? $272 sounds WAY more reasonable!
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| Posted 12/5/14 1:32 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
Posted by LovesMike
Posted by Jenn79
We started with family too. I changed to full time daycare after a couple months. For many reasons. But sometimes family isn't "easier" or the best situation. In daycare I just feel like the teachers/directors etc are always there to make sure we are still happy. They go out of their way sometimes. This was not the case for family. Plus iits so much easier to have a place by my house for drop off/pick ups and going to the same spot every day.
For the baby room at my daycare it's $272/week for full time. Just to give you an idea.
Do you mind telling me who you use? You can FM if that is better. My SIL was just telling me they paid $600/week for care 3 days!!! That was in a home, but still group care. Is that a lot?? $272 sounds WAY more reasonable!
That is WAY high. A nanny isn't even $600/week.
My DS goes to a Kiddie Academy and it will depend on the age and the days per week But we were always in the $200-300 range depending on the days we sent him. It also gets cheaper when they are older.
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| Posted 12/5/14 1:43 PM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
Posted by LovesMike
Posted by Jenn79
We started with family too. I changed to full time daycare after a couple months. For many reasons. But sometimes family isn't "easier" or the best situation. In daycare I just feel like the teachers/directors etc are always there to make sure we are still happy. They go out of their way sometimes. This was not the case for family. Plus iits so much easier to have a place by my house for drop off/pick ups and going to the same spot every day.
For the baby room at my daycare it's $272/week for full time. Just to give you an idea.
Do you mind telling me who you use? You can FM if that is better. My SIL was just telling me they paid $600/week for care 3 days!!! That was in a home, but still group care. Is that a lot?? $272 sounds WAY more reasonable!
I'd like to know this info too, if possible! thanks!
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| Posted 12/5/14 1:44 PM |
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LovesMike
LIF Adult
Member since 8/10 978 total posts
Name:
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
Posted by alli3131
Posted by LovesMike
Posted by Jenn79
We started with family too. I changed to full time daycare after a couple months. For many reasons. But sometimes family isn't "easier" or the best situation. In daycare I just feel like the teachers/directors etc are always there to make sure we are still happy. They go out of their way sometimes. This was not the case for family. Plus iits so much easier to have a place by my house for drop off/pick ups and going to the same spot every day.
For the baby room at my daycare it's $272/week for full time. Just to give you an idea.
Do you mind telling me who you use? You can FM if that is better. My SIL was just telling me they paid $600/week for care 3 days!!! That was in a home, but still group care. Is that a lot?? $272 sounds WAY more reasonable!
That is WAY high. A nanny isn't even $600/week.
My DS goes to a Kiddie Academy and it will depend on the age and the days per week But we were always in the $200-300 range depending on the days we sent him. It also gets cheaper when they are older.
She's trying to tell me that's reasonable. I just had lunch with my girlfriend and her daycare in the city is that much! $200/day.
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| Posted 12/5/14 1:54 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
Posted by LovesMike
Posted by alli3131
Posted by LovesMike
Posted by Jenn79
We started with family too. I changed to full time daycare after a couple months. For many reasons. But sometimes family isn't "easier" or the best situation. In daycare I just feel like the teachers/directors etc are always there to make sure we are still happy. They go out of their way sometimes. This was not the case for family. Plus iits so much easier to have a place by my house for drop off/pick ups and going to the same spot every day.
For the baby room at my daycare it's $272/week for full time. Just to give you an idea.
Do you mind telling me who you use? You can FM if that is better. My SIL was just telling me they paid $600/week for care 3 days!!! That was in a home, but still group care. Is that a lot?? $272 sounds WAY more reasonable!
That is WAY high. A nanny isn't even $600/week.
My DS goes to a Kiddie Academy and it will depend on the age and the days per week But we were always in the $200-300 range depending on the days we sent him. It also gets cheaper when they are older.
She's trying to tell me that's reasonable. I just had lunch with my girlfriend and her daycare in the city is that much! $200/day.
City daycare's are a whole different ballgame. Yes they can be super expensive but there cheaper ones around too. My sister is paying less than I do and she in in Manhattan
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| Posted 12/5/14 2:04 PM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
To the OP - where are you located OR where are you looking to send your child to daycare, if you go that route??
And yeah - ahh! that was such a scary time for me. I remember it well. I gave birth in 9/2013 to my first, a boy. I was due to come back from maternity when he was five months old. So, he started around February when he was just five months  I still can't believe we did that! But, he did it and it was actually really great -- BUT, I will say this, I believe that it worked out so well because of the place I chose.
I looked at, while I was pregnant!, over a dozen places in the area I needed to be in. The price was jaw-dropping but they were all in the same range... the place with the woman who looked like an ex-con was only like $80 a month less than the place that looks like Brad and Angie send their kids there, ya know??  Crazy!
But, I narrowed it down to two places that I loved and I went with one over the other because one was more of a "home-like" setting and one was more of a scholastic, kind of school setting. It really is a personal preference. Being that he was super young, I wanted home-like. When he is a little older I think school-like is good too. I think it all depends on your outlook about that - EITHER place is great, honestly.
He is now fourteen months old and he loves where he goes. I posted a while back regarding the things they do with him and how he likes going. Let me see if I can find it...
It is here:
http://www.lifamilies.com/chat/topic.aspx?ID=829983&Highlight=ivy
That was a while ago, wow, time flies!! But yeah, it's amazing.
I wish I could post pics of what he is doing now -- painting and drawing and learning! It's wonderful. He giggles in the morning when we pull into the parking lot. I mean, he is just giddy to go there.
I'm so lucky to have a place that I trust that much so close to home. I can't tell you the anxiety I had over this decision and over, What if he doesn't like it???? What if something happens to him??? What if the place is bad?? OMG I lost sleep!
For me, cost-wise, for Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday it is $1,030 a month for full-day. I drop him off at 7am and pick him up between 4-4:30pm. Their hours are like 7am-6pm
My mother watches him Tuesday and Thursday otherwise it's like $1,500-$1,600 a month 
Message edited 12/5/2014 2:13:16 PM.
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| Posted 12/5/14 2:10 PM |
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LovesMike
LIF Adult
Member since 8/10 978 total posts
Name:
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
DaniRella - thank you for your reply, your son is adorable! Unfortunately, we are in Western Nassau, Floral Park to be exact. It sounds amazing though.
I just don't know how to even find a place and get started - just google and then do visits and research?
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| Posted 12/5/14 2:17 PM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
Posted by LovesMike
DaniRella - thank you for your reply, your son is adorable! Unfortunately, we are in Western Nassau, Floral Park to be exact. It sounds amazing though.
I just don't know how to even find a place and get started - just google and then do visits and research?
Oh girl, I stalked places
Your best friend will be unplanned visits 
Do a search on here OR better yet, post on PARENTING about daycare facilities in your area of choice.
Then, look on the link I shared with you from the thread I wrote on -- there is a link on their to the NYS website to check places. Most places have minor violations like "didn't screw in one lightbulb all the way" -- I mean, that's how crazy it is, I feel like every place gets something but you just need to read them to make sure it is little nothing violations and not "let the kids wander in traffic" violations - KWIM?
Between recs on here, searching online for ratings, and comparing to the NYS website I was able to narrow it down and then the best is YOUR gut feeling -- go in person, just walk in, say you are new and you want a tour and you will KNOW the moment you see the places! You will know what you feel comfortable with and what jives with your family dynamic and needs.
I made sure to follow up with the two places I had narrowed it down to for multiple visits.
Then, when Jude was born I made sure to bring him there when he was like four months old to see how he looked and felt and did in the environment -- and to see how the staff was with him.
Julian ended up doing so very well.
It's a lot of work but so worth it. Also, start early - for the place we ended up choosing, we went on a wait list for admission consideration. A lot of the good places have X amount of open spots and if they are good, they can get taken.
A low ratio of kids to teacher was important to me but of course, those places are more $. Some things are worth it.
Message edited 12/5/2014 2:25:02 PM.
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| Posted 12/5/14 2:23 PM |
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Mrs&MrsK
i need sleep ;-)
Member since 2/14 2008 total posts
Name:
L
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Day Care - where to start?
We thougth about this but havent finalized anything yet.
we don't want our son in daycare until 1-2yrs old. MIL & FIL are retired, my mom is retiring in Dec 2015 and SIL is a SAHM.
If we have family watch DS, MIL would probably not let us pay and so we would get her things on occasion/ bigger christmas gifts? SIL just got offered $100 a day to watch 2 children 3x a week but we had figured $50 per day (2 days a week or so?) never discussed with her so that was a guess if we ask her. I looked up daycare a few months back and it seemed to run $1200/mo or $50-60 per day for infants.
I would prefer not to have one person watch him every day as each has their own good qualities and methods to teach him.
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| Posted 12/5/14 3:57 PM |
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caps612
In love with my little guys!!
Member since 8/10 5108 total posts
Name:
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
I went back to work when DS was 12 weeks. We knew all along that he would be in day care, we had no family that did not work and could do it.
We narrowed down facilities on location, drop off and pick up time, and then continued down the list from there.
This might sound crazy. But aside from the fact that it would be great not having to pay family to watch him, I love that DS is in day care. I personally would probably lose my mind dealing with family watching him all the time. At day care, as an infant they had my schedule for him and followed it, done. I also feel like he is learning so much and so much earlier and is such a social child. I really believe it is a good environment. But then again, much more costly and grandparents don't close for holidays and snow days, and they will still watch a sick kid! haha!
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| Posted 12/5/14 4:36 PM |
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Naner325
waiting on nugget!
Member since 6/10 4432 total posts
Name:
N
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
We will be putting the baby in daycare full time at 3 months when I go back to work. I am already dreading it but I also love my job and my coworkers so I am hoping that will make it a little easier. MIL had offered to watch the baby a couple of days a week but she recently realized she can't retire until the following year without being penalized. Honestly though, I was relieved. I was grateful for the offer but I just think mixing family could get tricky especially as a new mother knowing that I will have my own way I would want things done. I am fortunate enough though that I have a wonderful daycare on my work campus. I am due in early April and have an appointment to meet with them next week to get the ball rolling.
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| Posted 12/5/14 5:01 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Day Care - where to start?
We had family watch her until she was 6 months old. Now DD (9 months) goes to daycare 4 days a week at an in-home licensed daycare and we pay $50/day for 8am-5pm
ETA: If you google - OCFS daycare - you can go to OCFS's daycare search. You can search by zip, school district, etc. and it lists all the licensed daycares and you can see if they have any violations. I used that to search and then went from there.
Message edited 12/5/2014 5:55:38 PM.
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| Posted 12/5/14 5:53 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Day Care - where to start?
Wow, I will be a Sahm so I am no help , but these daycare costs are insane! Two kids in daycare is a mortage payment. If you make 50 k per year or less, 50 percent of your salary goes to child care. Wow,that's crazy. Didn't realize it was this pricey.
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| Posted 12/5/14 8:41 PM |
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SLPRunner
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
Just google and do site visits. I knew I wouldn't have family to help and started looking at day cares when I was 20 weeks along. There are questions to ask, but pretty much they will answer them when they give you the tour. My son is 5.5 months now and has been in day care full time since 12 weeks. He is there 7am to 4pm. I was so nervous at first about it but he has been doing great.
We pay 365/week. Price drops when he is 18 months. I've been so happy there, I think it is definitely worth the cost. And the dependability is great, as opposed to using a nanny or family.
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| Posted 12/5/14 9:39 PM |
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Jenn79
One more?
Member since 2/12 2410 total posts
Name:
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
Posted by JDubs
Posted by LovesMike
Posted by Jenn79
We started with family too. I changed to full time daycare after a couple months. For many reasons. But sometimes family isn't "easier" or the best situation. In daycare I just feel like the teachers/directors etc are always there to make sure we are still happy. They go out of their way sometimes. This was not the case for family. Plus iits so much easier to have a place by my house for drop off/pick ups and going to the same spot every day.
For the baby room at my daycare it's $272/week for full time. Just to give you an idea.
Do you mind telling me who you use? You can FM if that is better. My SIL was just telling me they paid $600/week for care 3 days!!! That was in a home, but still group care. Is that a lot?? $272 sounds WAY more reasonable!
I'd like to know this info too, if possible! thanks!
Unfortunately I'm in mid/eastern suffolk. But it's all certified teachers too, which was a major selling point for me. 272 or 1090/month is for 10 hrs 5 days a week. I feel like it's a steal reading all these posts!
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| Posted 12/5/14 10:04 PM |
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mrsgafforio
LIF Adult
Member since 3/07 3929 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
Posted by LovesMike
DaniRella - thank you for your reply, your son is adorable! Unfortunately, we are in Western Nassau, Floral Park to be exact. It sounds amazing though.
I just don't know how to even find a place and get started - just google and then do visits and research?
I am in Floral Park. My mom watch's DS (19 months) at the moment but we have been looking for a place as well. I looked into http://littleexplorersacademyfloralpark.com/index.html a couple of months ago. They had a waitlist but still may consider them! I haven't visited yet though. I don't feel there are too many options in the area!!
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| Posted 12/9/14 4:21 PM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
We offered money to all family who was watching DC 1. My family refused to take us up on it. DH's family did, however. We paid them $50/day.
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| Posted 12/9/14 4:53 PM |
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LovesMike
LIF Adult
Member since 8/10 978 total posts
Name:
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Re: Day Care - where to start?
Posted by mrsgafforio
Posted by LovesMike
DaniRella - thank you for your reply, your son is adorable! Unfortunately, we are in Western Nassau, Floral Park to be exact. It sounds amazing though.
I just don't know how to even find a place and get started - just google and then do visits and research?
I am in Floral Park. My mom watch's DS (19 months) at the moment but we have been looking for a place as well. I looked into http://littleexplorersacademyfloralpark.com/index.html a couple of months ago. They had a waitlist but still may consider them! I haven't visited yet though. I don't feel there are too many options in the area!!
Hello neighbor! I also reached out to Little Explorers and drove by one night after work - looked like a lot of parents making pick-ups. I sent an email, but haven't heard back. I'm sure there's a waiting list, but I'd still like to hear back from them. I may try and give a call.
ETA: they had quite a few violations I was able to look up on one of the sites provided above, but I think it is more likely to have violations in a home care setting than an actual facility. Doesn't make me feel better, just thought I'd mention it. Any idea of cost?
Message edited 12/11/2014 9:55:15 AM.
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| Posted 12/11/14 9:50 AM |
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