DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

Has anyone been in this situation?

I really, really want to stay team green.
DH really, really wants to find out the gender.



I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to be a brat and say since I'm carrying it, I choose, but that seems unfair.
Part of me wants to let DH decide, this might be nice as a way to let him feel more connected/involved.

ugh. I would say we could agree to stay team green next time, but we had quite a hard time getting here, I don't want to assume we will get so lucky again.

DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

I have the same situation. I am a brat and we are staying team green.

Re: DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

Re: DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

We stayed team for our first child and DH wanted to find out. I really wanted him to have the experience of saying "It's a ____" to me and then to our family in the waiting room. He reluctantly agreed to stay team . It was a great experience for all of us.

This time around I really wanted to find out. After repeated losses and knowing this would be our last child, I wanted to know how my family would be completed and enjoy preparing for this baby to take my mind off the lingering worries that tend to come with repeated loss. DH, however, did not want to find out. He wanted to relive the "It's a _________" experience.

In the end, he decided to find out with this LO and we are both glad we did. It has given us time to prepare our DS for his little brother to be. I do not at all feel that knowing has been anticlimactic because there are still many many surprises this LO will bring to us. Will he come on his due date? Will he look like DS #1 or not? Will he be colicky like our first was?

That said I guess I was a brat who got my way both times around

Message edited 4/21/2013 1:20:59 PM.

Re: DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

We are team green, I was a brat and wouldn't give in.

DH is a little upset with me, but I think when he gets to run into the waiting room and tell everyone he will agree it's worth it.

I told him if it wasn't, we could find out for the next one.

DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

We are having the same issue. I want to stay team green and DH is dying to know. I think in the end he may get his wish. So hard

Re: DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

i would explain to him how important it is to you to stay team green. maybe he'll agree. i'm team green. i feel like you don't get many suprises in life.

good luck. i really hope he sees your side.

Re: DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

Is there anyway he could know and keep it a secret from you?

Re: DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

Let him find out and you stay team green.

Re: DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

We had the sane situation and in the end Dh agreed to stay team green and he is so glad he did. It's one if the only surprises in life and its am amazing one.
I convinced Dh by asking why he wanted to know...I know he wanted a boy so I told him my concern was that if its a girl he won't be as excited/involved with the pregnancy. He assured me that wasn't the case but did understand where I was coming from. In the end he's glad we stayed team green and would do it again

Re: DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

In the end, people who are team green will say how much better it is to not find out and people who found out will say how much better it is to find out.

I would talk it over with your DH when you are both relaxed and figure out what is the best option for you.

DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

With DS I wanted to find out & DH wanted to be team green. I agreed to go along w/DH's wishes for a number of reasons and including the reason you suggested....b/c I get the honor and pleasure of making this little miracle and I wanted him to have some "say" in the pregnancy. I looked it as one of those things that you compromise in life. I am so happy I did b/c it made my DH so happy. It was was fun being team green. This time around we agreed that we will find out. Good Luck

DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

I wanted to be team green and DH wanted to know. We equally wanted what we wanted so bad it was hard for either one of us to move. I didn't want DH to know and me not to know because I would be scared he would tell someone or he would tell me if we were fighting at some point. We decided to flip a coin. We figured it was the only fair way to decide since neither one of us was going to change our minds since we both felt so strongly.

We ended up not even getting to flip the coin because my sister is an OB and informed us that she would slip when talking to us if she saw a sono and DH said he would make sure she would see EVERY sono. We ended up having her do the gender sono which made it a little more special.

We agreed, next time though we are staying team green. I love knowing we are having a son but I REALLY want that moment in the delivery room and DH to have that moment to announce it.

Re: DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

for our first, dh wanted to find out and I didnt- he agreed that we would stay team green for that one and find out about the next one- it was a good compromise for us.

Well we are having our second and this time, DH was like, no way are we finding out. He loved the experience and said he can't imagine having a baby any other way!

We loved it so much that I have actually converted 2 very good friends that are pregnant to team greenies for their 2nds. You will not regret it, keep working on him!

Re: DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

Originally I considered staying Team Green and DH was adamantly against it. Maybe my feelings about it weren't as strong as others, but I did end up sort of going with "I get to carry the baby and experience the pregnancy" so I let him decide and we will be finding out.

Maybe for the next one I'll push more. I'm happy with our decision but totally see the benefits of being Team Green.

Re: DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

Re: DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

My opinion is that you won't regret waiting, but you may regret finding out too soon.

Re: DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

With #1 DH wanted to find out and I wanted to be so we made a compromise that we'd find out for #2. Well, DH loved finding out in the OR and telling our moms in the waiting room so much that we are now for #2.


Look up "new dad announcing to the waiting room" videos on Youtube and have him watch a few

DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

I had this same problem with DH and I couldn't stand the arguing about it since we were both stubborn about what we wanted. I did decide to let DH know the gender but we made an agreement. The agreement was that he could not communicate the information in any way to any person not even a stranger. It's working for us.

Re: DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

We had the same problem...but I couldn't be the brat because I'm getting to experience all the kicks and hiccups so I felt guilty not giving in. That being said I'm glad we did because it has made registering and setting up much easier

DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

I'm passionate about being team green. DH doesn't mind either way. He thought we'd be tg for our first pregnancy, then find out for our second. I told him hell no, I refuse. That moment is way too special and the entire pregnancy is so much more fun. He agreed.

Re: DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

We found out with our first 2 and not the 3rd and it worked out great.
Our first 2 are and I knew if I found out what the 3rd was, one of the kids were going to be upset so it was nice that we were all surprised at the end.
In the end, you are still surprised and it really comes down to, how "prepared" you want to be with stuff you need.

Re: DH and I disagree over whether to find out gender

Am I going to be the only one to say that while we might be the ones who 'get to' experience all the joyous things about pregnancy...

you are also the one who gets to puke her guts out, feel sick a lot, go to bed at 8pm, feel like she needs a nap by noon, feel like yakking at the sight/scent/mere mention of [insert random food aversion here] ETC. ETC. ETC.

you guys need to pull the 'patient' card here.




TEAM GREEN