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Sandy55
My family ROCKS!!!
Member since 2/08 1219 total posts
Name:
Sandy
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Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
So we went to our condo last week which is a foreclosure and is in need of a lot of help.
My Mom brought her dog.
My Mom's dog pooped on the floor in our condo, so my Mom picked it up, walked outside and threw it into the bushes.
This woman saw what my Mom did and started screaming at her "Oh MY GOD what is wrong with you !!!!! People live here!! That's disgusting!!!"
I didn't see what happened but apparently my Mom and the neighbor exchanged words. When I came outside the woman was driving away dropping f-bombs with the windows open and her kids in the car.
She then sarcastically screamed "Welcome to the neighborhood!"
I know my Mom should not have thrown dog crap into the bushes because it's a condo and they have rules, etc.
My hubby wants to go and apologize to the neighbor and "start over", but I refuse to since she spoke to my Mom like an assssshole. I want to just leave it alone. She should not have spoken to my Mother that way. My MIL witnessed the whole thing too and thinks the neighbor was way out of line.
Any suggestions?
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Posted 2/20/09 10:52 AM  |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
I would totally apologize...I would be pizzed if I saw that as well...
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| Posted 2/20/09 10:56 AM |
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JldDolphin
Member since 1/07 6929 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
I think I would try to talk with the neighbor, but I'm not sure I would say I was sorry about what was done. Just say it won't happen again. It sucks if you don't get along with your neighbors. Of course there is NO excuse for the way the neighbor reacted with your mom. The neighbor could have just said something nicer. Then again the neighbor might just be a b*tch and nothing will change with her no matter what you do. Sorry things had to start off this way for you in your new place. 
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| Posted 2/20/09 10:56 AM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
I agree with your DH about making peace and starting over. I know it's your mom but you have to live there and throwing dog poop in the bushes was wrong.
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| Posted 2/20/09 10:57 AM |
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tj2008
LIF Adult
Member since 3/08 1000 total posts
Name:
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Christine
I agree with your DH about making peace and starting over. I know it's your mom but you have to live there and throwing dog poop in the bushes was wrong.
ITA
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| Posted 2/20/09 10:59 AM |
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babymakes3
Almost there!
Member since 7/06 7376 total posts
Name:
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by tj2008
Posted by Christine
I agree with your DH about making peace and starting over. I know it's your mom but you have to live there and throwing dog poop in the bushes was wrong.
ITA
ITA too.
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| Posted 2/20/09 11:01 AM |
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Sandy55
My family ROCKS!!!
Member since 2/08 1219 total posts
Name:
Sandy
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by JldDolphin
I think I would try to talk with the neighbor, but I'm not sure I would say I was sorry about what was done. Just say it won't happen again. It sucks if you don't get along with your neighbors. Of course there is NO excuse for the way the neighbor reacted with your mom. The neighbor could have just said something nicer. Then again the neighbor might just be a b*tch and nothing will change with her no matter what you do. Sorry things had to start off this way for you in your new place.
Thanks..and thanks everyone!
yeah..i'm sure my hubby will talk to the neighbor whether or not I say yes or no which is fine.
My Mom was wrong and I told her so...and I would have been mad if I saw someone throw crap in the bushes too.
But...no reason to go psycho on someone about it.
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| Posted 2/20/09 11:05 AM |
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tj2008
LIF Adult
Member since 3/08 1000 total posts
Name:
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Sandy55
But...no reason to go psycho on someone about it.
I agree with you on that and hopefully she'll apologize too, that would be the right thing too
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| Posted 2/20/09 11:07 AM |
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Geraldine
Lovin Life........
Member since 5/07 2388 total posts
Name:
Geraldine
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by LisaW
I would totally apologize...I would be pizzed if I saw that as well...
ITA.......I also think once your new neighbor realizes that you are nice normal people she will apologize for her reaction.
Message edited 2/20/2009 11:12:36 AM.
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| Posted 2/20/09 11:11 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Christine
I agree with your DH about making peace and starting over. I know it's your mom but you have to live there and throwing dog poop in the bushes was wrong.
I agree -
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| Posted 2/20/09 11:32 AM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by Christine
I agree with your DH about making peace and starting over. I know it's your mom but you have to live there and throwing dog poop in the bushes was wrong.
I agree -
I definitely agree - you don't want your neighbors to think you're the type of people who don't care about the condo. Doesn't matter if she was nasty in how she spoke to your mom.. you guys have to live there and you should start fresh with them.
If she's nasty to you when you guys apologize.. then at least you know you did the right thing
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| Posted 2/20/09 11:45 AM |
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MST9106
My life:)
Member since 6/06 9589 total posts
Name:
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Eeeek...not a good start, therefore, I would def have your husband go there and apologize and start fresh
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| Posted 2/20/09 11:54 AM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
I agree with your DH. I think one or both of you should go and make peace with the neighbor. It's not good to start out on the wrong foot like that. Your mom was really in the wrong throwing dog crap in the bushes.
Maybe the neighbor freaked out like that because she doesn't know you guys and thought you would be making a habit of throwing crap in the bushes. I would have freaked out too.
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| Posted 2/20/09 11:58 AM |
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SpiceGirl
Dream big
Member since 1/06 2486 total posts
Name:
j
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by tj2008
Posted by Christine
I agree with your DH about making peace and starting over. I know it's your mom but you have to live there and throwing dog poop in the bushes was wrong.
ITA
Totally agree.
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| Posted 2/20/09 12:09 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Otherme
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by Christine
I agree with your DH about making peace and starting over. I know it's your mom but you have to live there and throwing dog poop in the bushes was wrong.
I agree -
I definitely agree - you don't want your neighbors to think you're the type of people who don't care about the condo. Doesn't matter if she was nasty in how she spoke to your mom.. you guys have to live there and you should start fresh with them.
If she's nasty to you when you guys apologize.. then at least you know you did the right thing
word. especially since you didn't catch all of the argument, you don't know if your mom said something to set her off 
I know she's your mom, but really???? dog **** in the BUSHES. you guys are lucky the neighbor didn't report you!
make friends and promise that it will NEVER happen again.
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| Posted 2/20/09 12:39 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
I agree with your husband. I'd be pizzed beyond belief if someone flung dog poo into my bushes or ones that were on/near my property.
I agree that your neighbor didn't have to curse your mom out but but your mom should have never done what she did either.
I don't understand, why didn't your mom just either flush it down the toilet or throw it away? There are laws against that kind of stuff.
I would apologize to the neighbor and hopefully start over. Who knows, maybe this neighbor will apologize for speaking to your mom the way she did.
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| Posted 2/20/09 12:51 PM |
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luckysmom
Yes it is! Going as planned:)
Member since 6/07 5339 total posts
Name:
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
I'm totally the only one who thinks this but i woud not go and apologize. If i see or hear someone speaking to my mother like that i go BALISTIC on them. Even if my mother was in the wrong. There is no reason to freak out on someone like that. I would just say nothing. But thats just me!
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| Posted 2/20/09 12:54 PM |
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Sandy55
My family ROCKS!!!
Member since 2/08 1219 total posts
Name:
Sandy
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by luckysmom
I'm totally the only one who thinks this but i woud not go and apologize. If i see or hear someone speaking to my mother like that i go BALISTIC on them. Even if my mother was in the wrong. There is no reason to freak out on someone like that. I would just say nothing. But thats just me!
Yeah..I agree...and Thank you.
if I actually saw the woman screaming at my Mom there would've been a much bigger problem.
It's not like she threw the dog crap at the woman. She just tossed it into the bushes next to MY condo. No big deal. My Mom just didn't think.
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| Posted 2/20/09 12:58 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Oh, Sandy, I have to disagree. I would have reacted the same way as your neighbor. I am glad you are admitting your mom did wrong but the reality is, what your mom did was so wrong that I can't blame the neighbor for anything she said. It's disgusting, unsanitary, against the law and it sends a message that you (since you are associated with her) don't care about the cleanliness of where you live. Also, dog waste can cause disease as well as serve as rat/rodent food so I think the bottom line is your mom was entirely in the wrong and created the situation, so you need to apologize if you want a fresh start. Before you know it the whole condo will be talking about the "new" people moving in and I would hate for you to get a bad name from day one. Just being honest, i really would apologize for what my mom did if I were you.
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:03 PM |
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Sandy55
My family ROCKS!!!
Member since 2/08 1219 total posts
Name:
Sandy
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Goobster
Oh, Sandy, I have to disagree. I would have reacted the same way as your neighbor. I am glad you are admitting your mom did wrong but the reality is, what your mom did was so wrong that I can't blame the neighbor for anything she said. It's disgusting, unsanitary, against the law and it sends a message that you (since you are associated with her) don't care about the cleanliness of where you live. Also, dog waste can cause disease as well as serve as rat/rodent food so I think the bottom line is your mom was entirely in the wrong and created the situation, so you need to apologize if you want a fresh start. Before you know it the whole condo will be talking about the "new" people moving in and I would hate for you to get a bad name from day one. Just being honest, i really would apologize for what my mom did if I were you.
You seriously would've started screaming and yelling and cursing at someone who threw dog poop in the bushes? I am not going to apologize to someone like that. I'm sorry...My Mom being wrong or not. We'll just talk to the neighbor. But the word sorry will not come out of my mouth.
This is getting a bit sensititive for me because we're talking about my Mom here. I probably should not have posted this. Thanks.
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:10 PM |
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Lifnewbie
LIF Infant
Member since 7/06 87 total posts
Name:
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
I think you should apologize, not only bc it is the right thing to do but because it is in your best interest. Whenever someone new moves into a co-op, there is always a natural curiosity as to who what kind of a person they are etc. The only person you can control is you. Even if the other woman was out of line and over-reacted, it is something that I think many people would have been upset about. Her reaction isn't your problem. I'd just say something like, "I wasn't there, but please know that I find throwing poop in or near our walking/living space to be unacceptable. I've spoken to my Mom and it won't happen again." If she apologizes for her reaction, it would be the right thing to do but you can't control that. Of course no-one wants their mom yelled at or disrespected, but you should try for a fresh start on this.
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:18 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Sandy55
Posted by Goobster
Oh, Sandy, I have to disagree. I would have reacted the same way as your neighbor. I am glad you are admitting your mom did wrong but the reality is, what your mom did was so wrong that I can't blame the neighbor for anything she said. It's disgusting, unsanitary, against the law and it sends a message that you (since you are associated with her) don't care about the cleanliness of where you live. Also, dog waste can cause disease as well as serve as rat/rodent food so I think the bottom line is your mom was entirely in the wrong and created the situation, so you need to apologize if you want a fresh start. Before you know it the whole condo will be talking about the "new" people moving in and I would hate for you to get a bad name from day one. Just being honest, i really would apologize for what my mom did if I were you.
You seriously would've started screaming and yelling and cursing at someone who threw dog poop in the bushes? I am not going to apologize to someone like that. I'm sorry...My Mom being wrong or not. We'll just talk to the neighbor. But the word sorry will not come out of my mouth.
This is getting a bit sensititive for me because we're talking about my Mom here. I probably should not have posted this. Thanks.
Being totally honest, I would have gone more ballistic on my OWN mom if I were in your shoes if she did something like that and I would support anyone talking to my mom if she did that as well. I would never want my new neighbors to think I have no concern for cleanliness, the law, etc. I am being totally honest. And yes, I did go ballistic on a woman who let her dog poop on my lawn and left it. It's just downright disgusting and IMO if someone is going to be that rude, then I would not edit myself or be polite when they clearly have no regard for the law and for others. Sorry, mom or not, just being honest. It really sends a TERRIBLE message to your new neighbors about what you view as acceptable behavior and this is action is not one bit acceptable.
In addition, you said that it's not like your mom threw it at the woman. But your mom DID throw it into the bushes of where the woman lives, and she has every right to speak up about it. The woman was probably quite shocked and responded that way, esp since her children saw your mom clearly break the law and disregard the public health of others.
Message edited 2/20/2009 1:51:00 PM.
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:21 PM |
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lullabella
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 2246 total posts
Name:
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Goobster
Posted by Sandy55
Posted by Goobster
Oh, Sandy, I have to disagree. I would have reacted the same way as your neighbor. I am glad you are admitting your mom did wrong but the reality is, what your mom did was so wrong that I can't blame the neighbor for anything she said. It's disgusting, unsanitary, against the law and it sends a message that you (since you are associated with her) don't care about the cleanliness of where you live. Also, dog waste can cause disease as well as serve as rat/rodent food so I think the bottom line is your mom was entirely in the wrong and created the situation, so you need to apologize if you want a fresh start. Before you know it the whole condo will be talking about the "new" people moving in and I would hate for you to get a bad name from day one. Just being honest, i really would apologize for what my mom did if I were you.
You seriously would've started screaming and yelling and cursing at someone who threw dog poop in the bushes? I am not going to apologize to someone like that. I'm sorry...My Mom being wrong or not. We'll just talk to the neighbor. But the word sorry will not come out of my mouth.
This is getting a bit sensititive for me because we're talking about my Mom here. I probably should not have posted this. Thanks.
Being totally honest, I would have gone more ballistic on my OWN mom if I were in your shoes if she did something like that and I would support anyone talking to my mom if she did that as well. I would never want my new neighbors to think I have no concern for cleanliness, the law, etc. I am being totally honest. And yes, I did go ballistic on a woman who let her dog poop on my lawn and left it. It's just downright disgusting and IMO if someone is going to be that rude, then I would not edit myself or be polite when they clearly have no regard for the law and for others. Sorry, mom or not, just being honest.
I guarantee you I would go ballistic on my mom if she did it. She wouldn't get any free passes in my book if she did something like that, esp if I just moved in somewhere, a condo of all places where they have rules/board, etc. It really sends a TERRIBLE message to your new neighbors about what you view as acceptable behavior and this is action is not one bit acceptable.
Really? I think it was wrong too but she could have just said "excuse me please dont digard poop in the bushes... blah blah". I hate that people always feel if they are right it gives them the OK to act "ballistic" or psycho.
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:26 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
honestly, i think the neighbor's reaction was a bit much. yeah your mom was in the wrong--but its all about how you speak to people. why did she have to curse your mom out like that? couldn't she have just said "Um, you're not allowed to do that--could you maybe get a baggy or flush it down the toilet? If you don't have a baggy I have one--I just don't want poop in the bushes."
Instead she opted to fly off the handle and it just wasn't necessary. The fact she had her kids in the car and was screaming f-bombs at your mom while driving away speaks VOLUMES to me.
I wouldn't apologize per se--I'd maybe just say "Can we start over--it wasn't intentional, we just want to wipe the slate clean and it wasn't US who did it was my mom and its not happening again" But my guess is, if she was the type of person to react to your mom like that in the first place--she's probably just gonna be a b*tch no matter what. lol
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:28 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by lullabella
Really? I think it was wrong too but she could have just said "excuse me please dont digard poop in the bushes... blah blah". I hate that people always feel if they are right it gives them the OK to act "ballistic" or psycho.
I personally think throwing dog waste is something that would make a LOT of people react without editing themselves.
The only person who should be editing themselves is the one who is breaking the law.
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:29 PM |
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