Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

I feel like since having children I often put myself last. Especially since having the second that I happy to have taken a shower and have clean clothes on. If I do my hair and put make-up on it's a plus. The reason I ask is because I was watching Tim Gunn's Guide to Style and a mom with 2 kids and was only 3 years older than me was getting a make over. She always had this guilt about doing things for herself that made her feel good even as simple as getting a manicure. It definitly hit close to home and I started crying. I definitly am not depressed but I feel like I can't peel myself from them and I am worried I am gonna miss something. I do go out at night for about an hour once a week with DD (going out with one is like going out alone these days ). Anyone else feel like this.

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

When DD was a newborn, I couldn't leave her unless I did for 15 min, I was breastfeeding and not pumping. Now that she is 1 years old - I make it a point to tell DH that I am going to get my haircut between these hours - and you are watching the baby - and I go, if I "asked" instead of "telling" my hair would be down to the ground and I would trip over it.

you have to do these things, mani and pedi - such a simple thing can make you happy and feel good about yourself.

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

OMG. I totally feel this way. I think we all do most of the time. We are always trying to make everyone else happy & make sure they are taken care of. I seem to fall by the wayside. This is part of the reason why I'm hesitant to try for #2. I can't imagine how much harder it will be then.

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

I definately do not take care of myself like I used to. DS is 4 months now and I am trying to make more of a point to get out and get my mani/pedi/waxing like I used to.

I also need to get to the gym more. I long for those old days when i just got up and went, but as I was getting my hair done the other day, DH held DS near the window of teh salon and waved....I never felt more beautiful

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

100% YES

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

I take a shower every day before DH goes to work--that is my #1 piece of advice for moms with babies. Of course, if your DH leaves @ 5am, that might be difficult! I also always put on at least some makeup. I think simple things like that go a LONG way. Also just recently, I started getting a pedicure every other week. That makes a lot of sense now that I'm not working But seriously, that's something a little "extra" that makes me feel good about myself.

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

I haven't had a *real* shower in 3 days. And forget my hair- I'm afraid to wash it as it's falling out in clumps....

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

I feel the same way at times, not so much with #1, but def with #2. My day with 2 is a balancing act, like do I shower or do the bills, laundry and clean while they are sleeping.
I do manage though 95% of the time to shower and get 100% dressed, i just have too or otherwise i don't feel myself the whole day.

But I so feel guilty paying 70 bucks for my haircut, buying clothes.

I think it's something we all do when we have kids, we put their material needs first.
I also think it's like this in the beginning and then you def find your groove and it makes it easier to get out of the new mom funk.

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

Its really bad since I work ft and have to look professional yet I feel like sh#t from no sleep and being overworked and overtired and not losing all of the baby weight. I want a routine where I can workout and take showers when I want to and dye my hair and pamper myself. It doesnt happen anymore. My showers consist of running in for 5 minutes and getting out. I first put on make up at work.

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

TOTALLY! And even when DH is here, I feel like I am still second. Like he gets himself all set and ready, and I'm rushing around to just get dressed!

Haircut? Havent' had one since last summer ('06). Keep saying I am just going to go, DH says to make the appt, and I just dont b/c I know something will come up (he'll have to work OT or his 2nd job) and I can't go.

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

I saw the same show and thought about how easy it is to get into the "mom rut" of not caring about yourself anymore...

I never thought it would happen to me, but it's definitely easy to put yourself last. I do try and make myself presentable, but it takes A LOT more effort than it used to. I just don't care as much anymore.

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

Totally!! My DH works a minimum of 12-14 hrs a day and usually more. He leaves before we get up and gets home after we are in bed EVERY day. So, it is hard for me to get things done for me. My Mom watches DS one night a week when I go to work and for other random things I have to do, so I feel bad asking her to watch DS so that I can get a mani-pedi or a haircut. So......most days I am happy if I get a shower and clean clothes :)

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

I'm in the minority, but I make myself a priority also. I shower, and even shave my legs pretty regularily. I go to the salon and get haircuts while DH watches the kids on a Sat afternoon. I have Moms Night out with my girlfriends. If I need to, I put Molly in the crib for 10 minutes to take a shower. I feel like all I do all day is give give give to others (which I'm not complaining about) , so 45 minutes of me time to take a shower, have a cup of coffee and check some emails is a priority.

You just have to put yourself into your daily routine. The kids will adapt and it will teach them a good lesson not to take mommy for granted.

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

Posted by ddunne2

I'm in the minority, but I make myself a priority also. I shower, and even shave my legs pretty regularily. I go to the salon and get haircuts while DH watches the kids on a Sat afternoon. I have Moms Night out with my girlfriends. If I need to, I put Molly in the crib for 10 minutes to take a shower. I feel like all I do all day is give give give to others (which I'm not complaining about) , so 45 minutes of me time to take a shower, have a cup of coffee and check some emails is a priority.

You just have to put yourself into your daily routine. The kids will adapt and it will teach them a good lesson not to take mommy for granted.

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

well right now I only have one (that will be changing soon so maybe my answer will change) and I get a manicure every week, shower, do my hair and put on make up (not a lot, but the little I wear) everyday...
I get my hair cut, colored etc...

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

My mom and aunt are always saying "I don't know how you moms do it today." There is so much pressure to be perfect and constantly entertain your children. My mom is like "we had playpens and that is where you stayed.!" So, I'm kinda from that school of thought in that I make it a point not to entertain them all day...so that they can learn to play on their own and I can get things done. Sure, we go to the park and do all those things..playdates, etc, but during the day there is definately "playpen time" in my house.

It is very stressful to me being a SAHM after going from working woman mode with the freedom to shower, eat, etc at my convenience. So I see this as a happy medium.

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

I always make sure I take my shower in the morning. If I don't then I feel like crap for the rest of the day. I recently went shopping for myself and bought some new clothes so I feel better.
Jared is good. He knows my routine in the morning and "lets" me take a shower.

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

I have a hard time making time to do it, but I make it a priority and get it done because honestly no one is going to do it for me. For ex. I am leaving work early to get my hair done this afternoon! My yoga class also starts tonight but DH can't p/u the baby today so I'll start tomorrow instead. It's the 1.5 hours of ME time I can count on each week! My toenails are chipped and I'm wearing sandals, but I've learned not to care as much. I'll get to that this weekend.

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

No...I'm all about me. DD is pretty flexible, so I can toss her in her activity center while I do my hair and makeup.

I get my mani/pedi every other week, brazilian waxing every 4 weeks and I was getting my hair colored and cut every 6 weeks, but since becoming pregnant, I've been waiting a bit before I color it.

It also helps that my DH has flexible hours and works from home 2 days a week so he can watch the baby while I go and get pampered. If he's not available, then my MIL is always more than willing to drive up from Jersey to see her grandaughter.

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

I feel like this all the time. My DH leaves very early in the morning for work (like pre 5AM) so it's my responsiblity to get both boys fed and changed for the day. Then i put them in their seats or exersaucers and rush up for a shower and to get ready for work.

I usually am the first one home from work too so I usually have to feed them dinner and then get them ready for bed, baths, etc.

For the first year of their life I stopped getting mani's and did them myself and stopped highlightening my hair. I just went back for both. I also brough a lot of clothes for myself the past month since my wardrobe led something to be desired.

Sometimes after the boys go to sleep i go upstair and take a shower and sit in there for like a 1/2 hour. It's really the only me time i ever have now.

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

Posted by Chatham-Chick

No...I'm all about me. DD is pretty flexible, so I can toss her in her activity center while I do my hair and makeup.

I get my mani/pedi every other week, brazilian waxing every 4 weeks and I was getting my hair colored and cut every 6 weeks, but since becoming pregnant, I've been waiting a bit before I color it.

It also helps that my DH has flexible hours and works from home 2 days a week so he can watch the baby while I go and get pampered. If he's not available, then my MIL is always more than willing to drive up from Jersey to see her grandaughter.

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

Posted by Stefanie

I always make sure I take my shower in the morning. If I don't then I feel like crap for the rest of the day. I recently went shopping for myself and bought some new clothes so I feel better.
Jared is good. He knows my routine in the morning and "lets" me take a shower.

Re: Do you have hard time taking care of yourself?

It was hard for me to leave him to begin working out again, but I was so glad when I did it. I recently hurt my back, and it is taking longer to recover because I keep having to take care of Cailen and dont have the opportunity to rest and let the muscle heal....

But I always put on makeup. Since I still cant fit into all my clothes, I feel its the only thing I can do right now....