Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

Im having a b'day party for dd's 4th birthday. She attends preschool fulltime. there is no way i could invite the whole school, but I do want to invite some children. Is it rude that I invite only some kids (the ones that she talks about all the time) and not the others?

She was attending only 2 days a week and I was just gonna invite the kids from the 2 days, but since my mom broke her arm i had to enroll her full time until my mom can watch her again (not sure when she will be able to commit to watching her). DD's party is 1/30.

WWYD???

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

I struggled with the same thing for DD's 3rd. I ended up inviting them all I just couldn't exclude anyone!

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

I invite everyone to avoid any hurt feelings. The kids don't seem to care if they aren't invited, but I've seen some moms really get in a snit if they find out their kid wasn't invited.

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

The school my DD went to it was required if you sent the invites into the school that all children were invited.

honestly, not all of them come. We've invited 35+ kids to a party and only had 15 show.

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

I go with the all or nothing. You dont want to have any little kid feel left out or have their feelings hurt. They arent old enough to understand budget constraints, all they know is that they were left out. KWIM? I just always look at it from DS perspective if he was one of the kids not invited to a party.

Message edited 11/30/2010 12:46:54 PM.

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

I go with all or nothing BUT if it's a budget issue, I would reach out to moms who they do talk about & ask for home addresses for the invite.

Just recognize at 4 years old, they're talking about their birthday parties at school & there will be some hurt feelings.

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

My DD will be three. I had no intention of having a party for more than family until she asked for one after attending a bunch over the summer. After DH & I decided we would have a party we asked her who she wanted to come to her party. I invited everyone she asked for from school. I got home addresses directly from the moms of those kids and put them in the mail.

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

If you do not plan to invite the whole class, then please MAIL the invitations. Nothing worse than having invites handed out to a select few kids and hurting feelings.

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

Some schools won't even hand out invitations for you. Or ask that if you aren't inviting the whole class that you not ask them to do it.

I'm sorry I think this is just another sign of cry-baby society.

You don't have to like everybody. You don't have to invite everybody.

Invite the kids your child likes.

You don't have to be all 'HEY I'M PASSING OUT INVITATIONS TO OUR FAVORITE KIDS' but if a grown woman is going to be hissyfitting that their kid wasn't invited to a 4 year old bday party -- then I wouldn't want to pal around with her anyways

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

I follow the all or none rule.

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

You don't have to be all 'HEY I'M PASSING OUT INVITATIONS TO OUR FAVORITE KIDS' but if a grown woman is going to be hissyfitting that their kid wasn't invited to a 4 year old bday party -- then I wouldn't want to pal around with her anyways

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

I don't get the whole class thing or can afford it. My guest list without the class is 25 kids normally. I can understand not leaving out 1-2 kids but picking a few close friends, I see nothing wrong with it and have no issues with my son not being invited to everyone's party and would have no issues talking to my chlild about it if he were left out.

When my son was in preschool, I invited 4-5 of his best friends of a class of 16/17 children. I sent inivites to their homes as if you do not invite the whole class you are not suppose to gie them out at school. I only did the kids he was best buddies with and played with outside of school for playdates.

His K b-day party is coming up and he sometimes asks to invite the class and sometimes doesn't. I know for sure there are kids he doesn't care for in his class and why would I want hem at his party. Luckily he mostly wants to invite his preK friends and maybe again will pick just a few classmates.

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

All or None.

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

I'm also in the all or none group. Every year I've invited all of the kids in DD's class.

However, one mom did a princess party and only invited the girls. That may be a compromise if its a budget issue- to only invite the gender of the birthday child.

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

We just had DD's party over the weekend and I invited 7 kids from school. No way was I inviting the whole class, there are 40 kids that are in her class (some are not there everyday). I asked DD's teacher to write down the names of the kids that DD plays with the most in class, up to 10. She gave me a list of 7 kids, which was perfect.

I don't get this all or nothing stuff. I am paying for a party for MY DD, why should I invite kids in her class that she has probably never spoken too? I have never heard of anyone passing out invites and bragging about it. I discreetly put DD's invites in the kids mailboxes that were invited. If someones feelings get hurt, I'm sorry, but its not my problem, everyone doesn't get invited to everything in life.

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

Posted by eddiesmommy

You don't have to be all 'HEY I'M PASSING OUT INVITATIONS TO OUR FAVORITE KIDS' but if a grown woman is going to be hissyfitting that their kid wasn't invited to a 4 year old bday party -- then I wouldn't want to pal around with her anyways

ummmm, she didnt say anything about a mom making a big deal of it?

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

Posted by nrthshgrl

Posted by eddiesmommy

You don't have to be all 'HEY I'M PASSING OUT INVITATIONS TO OUR FAVORITE KIDS' but if a grown woman is going to be hissyfitting that their kid wasn't invited to a 4 year old bday party -- then I wouldn't want to pal around with her anyways

ummmm, she didnt say anything about a mom making a big deal of it?

It's not about the mom having a hissy fit. It's about having a 4 year old in tears. Call me crazy but I'm not going to be the person that causes that. It's not babying children - it's being understanding.

It's not forever either. When they get to be 7-8-9 is when you pick a few of their closest friends.

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

Just to throw this out there... at preschool age, some kids are really just learning to play together rather than parallel play, especially the younger kids in the class and those without older sibs. I have a DS who is quite shy and definitely less socially mature than other kids in his class. He just takes more time and exposure than most kids to make friends. It would absolutely break my heart if he were left out of things because he's one of the quieter kids in the class and personally would never do that to a child or their parents (who I know from my own experience probably worry about it all the time).

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

I'm sorry I didn't mean to have that come across that way... I was referring to

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

I would invite all. Chances are they won't all come, anyway. But I wouldn't want to hurt a 4 year old's feelings that she'll see everyday.

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

Message edited 11/30/2010 8:23:18 PM.

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

Invite who you want....Mail the invites to the house of the child. Not everyone can afford a huge party. I know I can't. Growing up we invited our friends. Not the whole class. And if your luck is like mine, the whole class will show up if invited....Its not just the kids to worry about. Each kid will have at least one parent with them. More food and beverages to buy...Good luck!!!

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

I only invite the kids that DD plays with, talks about etc. I send invites home and do not give out in school. I have 12 kids of immediate family to invite, if we invited family friends and then the whole class too we would have over 50 kids It is just NOT practical.

Re: Etiquette on inviting classmates to party

DS has an early bday (Oct.) so I knew he wouldn't hae a chance to befriend all of the kids in that time. And I also hae ALOT of friends with kids hos age. So I asked the teacher who he plays with and invited 3 boys from his class and 3 kids from last years class. Maybe I'm mean, but I didn't feel bad about that. It's not like I did it the other way around and inited all but 3.