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ave1024
I Took The Wrong Road
Member since 12/07 6153 total posts
Name:
That Led To The Wrong Tendencies
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Re: Etiquette on tipping/feeding vendors at your wedding
They should feed and tip, but shame on the hall for charging full price for a vendor. That's a total joke.
Message edited 6/19/2008 1:53:08 PM.
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Posted 6/19/08 1:52 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Etiquette on tipping/feeding vendors at your wedding
Posted by browneyedgirl
Posted by curliegirl
Posted by browneyedgirl
Posted by curliegirl
Posted by browneyedgirl
westbury manor doesn't charge full price for vendors unless you're under your minimum
i didn't feed ANY of my vendors. why?? not because i'm cheap--because i ASKED them and none of them wanted it! they said they eat that food several times a weekend and would just eat a little at cocktail hour. they thanked me for the offer, but EVERY ONE declined (2 photographers, 8 person band, 2 videographers). and not for nothing, but it's not required that you feed them. when i go to work i bring my own lunch, my employer doesn't have to pay me and feed me. outside of LI, this practice is unheard of.
so tell your friend to ASK her vendors first. i'm glad i did because with those 12 people, i saved hundreds that i would have wasted.
Do you really think your vendor is gonna say "Yes, I want you to feed me at your wedding." That won't happen with a professional company. They will tell you it's not necessary, but it's still the right thing to do. I have been working in the wedding industry for 9 years now and this is one of the most ridiculous questions I get, along with tipping questions......
I paid full price for my entire band and vendors, 16 people total, my hall s ucked though.....
You need to remember when planning your wedding that not only are you paying for the service, but bear in mind all the tips that need to be given, which adds up to a lot!!!
ummm, yes. that's why i asked. this is a business deal, not a personal one. there are no mind games to be played
i asked, they all declined. i did the right thing, and everyone was happy. they ate at cocktail hour, which is really the best food anyway.
No mind games at all!
It is such a ridiculous question to even ask, any professional in their right mind isn't going to insult you!!!
Hopefully you translated that savings into their tip.........
no, it's not ridiculous. that is your opinion.
i did not translate the "savings" into a tip. i tipped what i thought was proper for the service i got. there was no savings, they didn't want a meal!!!
as a matter of fact, i still speak with 2 of my vendors from that day. i just emailed my videographer a few days ago. i would never have been "insulted" if they said yes. i don't know why you can't realize everything isn't always black and white. not everyone feels the same way about things and that doesn't make it right or wrong. we all picked different vendors, who all have different opinions.
Yes, it is my opinion, however my opinion is based on fact, which some people are failing to realize on this thread.
When you break down the reality of what these vendors are doing all day for US, we as a customer, need to take that into consideration when asking if they would like to be fed.
I could NEVER, EVER ask someone who is helping make my wedding a success, IF they wanted to eat. Like Beth said, by you asking it's like saying you really don't wanna spend the $$$.
My vendors were mostly very good friends of mine, and traveled long distances to be a part of my wedding, asking them if they wanted to eat was simply not an option.
I have the fullest capacity to understand BOTH sides of this situation, however, based on some posters past choices, they are creating defenses that simply don't pan out.
I am trying to help others see what really goes into executing a successful wedding, some things a bride may not have thought of......
ETA
My main videographer and photographer DID NOT eat, they were too busy making my wedding day fantastic, but I made damned sure their was a plate for them AND they had a table setup as if they were guests........that's just the way I treated my vendors, like family.
Message edited 6/19/2008 2:02:11 PM.
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| Posted 6/19/08 1:54 PM |
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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Re: Etiquette on tipping/feeding vendors at your wedding
i tipped and fed everyone. My lead singer was pregnant and at one point I went over to her and made SURE she stopped and ate. My photog did sit down at one point to eat. It was great; he chatted with my parents for like 10 minutes and downed some food. They work hard for you and deserve both. At one point, I did see most of my vendors stop and eat, even if they took turns doing so, and we had a great wedding! :)
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| Posted 6/19/08 1:56 PM |
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MrsMerlot
Unconditional Love
Member since 4/06 6005 total posts
Name:
Chrissy
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Re: Etiquette on tipping/feeding vendors at your wedding
um - some (and most) vendors have food terms stipulated in their contracts.
If I'm working an 8 hour day, I have it in my contract that I receive a HOT meal. There are plenty of venues that try to give vendors "sandwiches" or setup a buffet based on the left-over Cocktail Hour food.
There is NO PLACE for vendors at a Cocktail Hour....they should be WORKING or sitting in another room.
ETS - No offense to your friend, but I don't think she has her information correct. My friend is getting married there in November '09 and I was there when she put her deposit down and booked - VENDORS ARE NOT FULL PRICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Message edited 6/19/2008 2:43:58 PM.
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| Posted 6/19/08 2:40 PM |
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JKinCT
Gonna be a big sister!
Member since 11/07 1559 total posts
Name:
Korin
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Re: Etiquette on tipping/feeding vendors at your wedding
Posted by MrsMerlot
There is NO PLACE for vendors at a Cocktail Hour....they should be WORKING or sitting in another room.
This is exactly what I was thinking. Other than a photographer or videographer walking around the cocktail hour (WORKING) anyone else is just strange.
You tip and feed. It's just what you do. Yes, it might be just a LI thing but that is exactly where this is happening. In some states people marry family members, that doesn't mean we should start doing that up north... 
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| Posted 6/19/08 2:47 PM |
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MrsMerlot
Unconditional Love
Member since 4/06 6005 total posts
Name:
Chrissy
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Re: Etiquette on tipping/feeding vendors at your wedding
Posted by JKinCT
Posted by MrsMerlot
There is NO PLACE for vendors at a Cocktail Hour....they should be WORKING or sitting in another room.
This is exactly what I was thinking. Other than a photographer or videographer walking around the cocktail hour (WORKING) anyone else is just strange.
You tip and feed. It's just what you do. Yes, it might be just a LI thing but that is exactly where this is happening. In some states people marry family members, that doesn't mean we should start doing that up north...
i love you. 
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| Posted 6/19/08 2:49 PM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: Etiquette on tipping/feeding vendors at your wedding
Posted by curliegirl
ASk your friend if she would mind following around a bride all day, snapping photos or video and NOT EATING and see how she would feel at about 7:30!
She should feed and tip, without question!
ITA! They have to eat. A happy vendor is a good vendor 
Message edited 6/19/2008 3:13:20 PM.
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| Posted 6/19/08 3:11 PM |
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jxnoscar
Baby Delicious!
Member since 8/06 4156 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: Etiquette on tipping/feeding vendors at your wedding
I think all vendors should not even be served water. Those Bastards!
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| Posted 6/19/08 3:19 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Etiquette on tipping/feeding vendors at your wedding
Posted by jxnoscar
I think all vendors should not even be served water. Those Bastards!
Nancy you should change your avatar to read
Happy to not be a vendor
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| Posted 6/19/08 3:29 PM |
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jxnoscar
Baby Delicious!
Member since 8/06 4156 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: Etiquette on tipping/feeding vendors at your wedding
Posted by curliegirl
Posted by jxnoscar
I think all vendors should not even be served water. Those Bastards!
Nancy you should change your avatar to read
Happy to not be a vendor
"Please MOVE AWAY from the Asian Station" Thank you
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| Posted 6/19/08 3:49 PM |
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pinkiegirl
Member since 7/07 2160 total posts
Name:
Dana
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Re: Etiquette on tipping/feeding vendors at your wedding
Posted by jxnoscar
Posted by curliegirl
Posted by jxnoscar
I think all vendors should not even be served water. Those Bastards!
Nancy you should change your avatar to read
Happy to not be a vendor
"Please MOVE AWAY from the Asian Station" Thank you
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| Posted 6/19/08 3:51 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Etiquette on tipping/feeding vendors at your wedding
Posted by jxnoscar
Posted by curliegirl
Posted by jxnoscar
I think all vendors should not even be served water. Those Bastards!
Nancy you should change your avatar to read
Happy to not be a vendor
"Please MOVE AWAY from the Asian Station" Thank you
I almost FELL off my chair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
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| Posted 6/19/08 3:52 PM |
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Tabitha
Member since 2/07 2029 total posts
Name:
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Re: Etiquette on tipping/feeding vendors at your wedding
Posted by browneyedgirl
i didn't feed ANY of my vendors. why?? not because i'm cheap--because i ASKED them and none of them wanted it!
isnt that a bad position to put your vendors in?? i would assume all vendors would say no when presented with this question, as i figure they would assume that if they ask for the meal, they will lose on $. vendors work long, hard hours to make the precious bride's day great. let them eat!!!!!!!!!
weddings are expensive. it is pretty tough to get around that fact. i think its important to accept that fact, and keep it classy!!!
Message edited 6/19/2008 4:43:30 PM.
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| Posted 6/19/08 4:43 PM |
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PegaLega
Lets Get This!!!!!
Member since 1/07 1110 total posts
Name:
Peggie
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Re: Etiquette on tipping/feeding vendors at your wedding
A friend of mine is getting married there next year, this is how the pricing for vendors goes (according to her)
Under minimum-vendors that eat are added into her Head count, once she hits the minimum vendors are 1/2 price. If they are house vendors they are free. If she is over her minimum and they are not house vendors they are 1/2 off.
She booked last year so I dont know if anything has changed, regardless she should feed them AND tip them
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| Posted 6/19/08 4:53 PM |
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