Full-time working moms

How often do you have playdates, or get together with family/friends with other children around the same age as yours?

After working an 8 hour day, everyday, I just see my time with Alex as so precious and so I don't go out of my way to make lots of playdates, and unfortunately we have no family with children, and most of my friends are childless too.

I got a little (constructive) criticism that maybe I should be making more of an effort to connect with other people with children around Alex's age. But, I just find it so hard because most of the Mom's of kids in Alex's class don't work, so while they do playdates, it's usually during the week, and well, I just really enjoy family time during the weekend.

We go out, but usually as the 3 of us, to go to a park, to a concert, visit friends on LI, shopping, etc. I do a playdate/birthday party maybe 1 weekend a month. Alex does play a lot with our neighbor's daughter after school and on the weekends, who is the same age, but, well, that situation is a little hairy as many of you know.

What about the rest of you full-time working mommy's?

Message edited 7/31/2008 11:19:56 AM.

Re: Full-time working moms

I have the hardest time with this.

For some of the same reasons you posted, but also because I meet a lot of SAHMs who seem to have no desire to have a working mom as a friend.

Luckily I've met some great moms from here and we've been able to connect a few times and form friendships.

But it's hard.

Re: Full-time working moms

Only one we get together with on a regualr basis is my nephew who is a year younger. We only get together becuase they live next door.

I value my weekend time and don't even like sharing th boys with their grandparetns on the weekends. They are around kids when I am at work, so I don't feel like they are missing anything.

Re: Full-time working moms

Posted by leighla

I have the hardest time with this.

For some of the same reasons you posted, but also because I meet a lot of SAHMs who seem to have no desire to have a working mom as a friend.

Luckily I've met some great moms from here and we've been able to connect a few times and form friendships.

But it's hard.

Re: Full-time working moms

I have not time after work for that. When i off with DD this coming Sept for maternityh leave. I will do some playdates and music classes with DS and DD. I feel like i need to connect more as well. But i dont even know many people in my area.

Re: Full-time working moms

Posted by leighla

I have the hardest time with this.

For some of the same reasons you posted, but also because I meet a lot of SAHMs who seem to have no desire to have a working mom as a friend.

Luckily I've met some great moms from here and we've been able to connect a few times and form friendships.

But it's hard.

Re: Full-time working moms

I'm going to be honest - I just don't have the energy for playdates.
When I pick the girls up at 3 - That's my time. When the weekend comes around and we have nothing planned - I don't feel like making plans to schlep them around to someones house that I don't really know, or to a 'class' when we would all much rather be home. They have enough socialization at daycare, and I see my friends pretty regularly. I think that's enough.

Re: Full-time working moms

I feel like he gets tons of playtime with kids at daycare.

He plays with other kids once in a while. He has a cousin near his age and one on the way

Re: Full-time working moms

Posted by JRG71

I'm going to be honest - I just don't have the energy for playdates.
When I pick the girls up at 3 - That's my time. When the weekend comes around and we have nothing planned - I don't feel like making plans to schlep them around to someones house that I don't really know, or to a 'class' when we would all much rather be home. They have enough socialization at daycare, and I see my friends pretty regularly. I think that's enough.

Re: Full-time working moms

Re: Full-time working moms

Have never scheduled a playdate. They play with kids their own age at daycare and now they have each other. None of our really close friends in Chicago have kids. We usually spend time as family in evenings and weekends.

Re: Full-time working moms

I don't have time during the week to schedule play dates, and weekends are so busy, but I would love to schedule some on weekends time permitting.

Thomas does socialize at daycare though.

Re: Full-time working moms

I don't have time during the week for playdates. He usually plays with his cousins at least once a week. It hard to try to do things with friends who have children on weekends since they are doing their own thing & usually DH is working and I do not drive.

Re: Full-time working moms

It's just so hard to find the time or find Moms that want to give up their weekends with their families for play dates. I'm one of them!!! My situation is a little different though b/c DH usually works on the weekends so it's just Matteo and Mommy time. I'm taking next Friday off from work so I was able to make plans for a playdate!

I get together with my sister on the weekends when her husband is working too. My niece is 10 months younger than Matteo.

Other than Mommy and me classes, we don't really do play dates. I've tried once or twice to get together with my girlfriend whose son is the same age. We did manage to get together once and it was nice but it rained so we were stuck in the house all day.

Someone commented to me once that I should try to make friends within my neighborhood but it's so hard. I work 40-50 hours a week and so do a lot of other moms. Those that don't just don't seem to want to bother with me.

Re: Full-time working moms

I have never gone on a playdate! None of my friends have kids either so I only have LIF to get advise from!!

On the weekends I am so busy running around trying to catch up from working all week and spend time with DS. Plus I really dont even know anyone to set up a playdate with.

DS does socialize at daycare so he has the best of 2 worlds, his daycare friends Mon-Fri to play with and 100% attention from his parents on the weekends and weeknights

Re: Full-time working moms

From January - May we were able to make a lot of playdates because it's DH's busy season - so that just leaves me and Lucas free on Saturdays.

But outside of that time period we unfortunately haven't had many. I love meeting up with the moms and kids and so does Lucas but when we weight that against family time...family time wins out. I don't want to leave DH behind and I really do like our time together. Lucas benefits most from that in my opinion.

Lately most of the playdates seem to be during the week which we can't do.

Re: Full-time working moms

We haven't had any real play dates since I've gone back to work. I'm lucky that 3 of my closest friends have babies around the same age as DD, but it's hard to make time because every weekend is booked. Even when we don't have plans, we wind up scheduling every minute of our time with chores and grandparents and family obligations. That doesn't leave much time for play dates.

Re: Full-time working moms

Isn't she around kids her own age everyday at daycare? I wouldn't listen to this so-called advice. Enjoy your weekend family time and don't give it another thought.

Re: Full-time working moms

I am a SAHM and I feel the same way you do. I might see the kids 24/7 my DH doesn't. He is working so much now that he only see's them on the weekends so I never schedule playdates on the weekends. We we see family on the weekends and it is usually because of a party (we have a birthday alsmost every month of the year with the exception of January between the 2 families). Although I don't mind spending the time with family and close friends on the weekends if DH is their because he can socialize and see the kids too.
Even though I am home I don't have many playdates. Besides for the one friend I met on my own here and NJmom I don't see anyone else.

Re: Full-time working moms

It is hard - I agree. My DD is wathced by her grandparents during the week so I do fel bad becasue she isn't around kids during the day. I am on Mat leave right now and try to get together with my friends and their kids so she can interact with them. It's another tough thing we have to deal with/fell guilty about

Re: Full-time working moms

I don't have a M-F 9-5 schedule so most weeks she get's a play date at least once a week sometimes more but there are weeks where I am too drained and she doesn't have any.
It helps that the parents of her friends are my friends as well so it kind of kills two birds with one stone when we get together.

Re: Full-time working moms

We never have playdates during the week...by the time I get home it's dinner and bed time....I didn't worry too much when DD was in daycare, because she got socialization there...

But now, my Mom is watching her and while she takes her out places (park, stores, etc.) I worry she isn't getting enough time with other kids...DH's brothers all have kids, so we're going to try to spend more time with them...but it's hard...weekends are really the only time I have time to spend with DH and DD and to clean my house, do laundry, etc....

Re: Full-time working moms

Message edited 7/31/2008 1:17:27 PM.

Re: Full-time working moms

We gtg for a "playdate" about once/week...

We are lucky to have PrincessP and Gilly as neighbors- so we seem them often, and usually unplanned (its usual a last min phone call or FM)

I also have a very good friend we try to see every other week. I usually head there straight from work and we order in dinner.

My DH plays hockey 1x/week- so I try and schedule things on that day-

Re: Full-time working moms

I feel the same as you Beth. I value my evenings and weekends as family time. Life is so hectic as it is, I really don't have time for meeting other Moms. And when I do have some extra time on evenings or weekends (rarely), I do like to take some of it for myself on ocassion.

Also most of my family with children Jake's age live OOS.

I just spent 3 weeks trying to set up a playdate with my cousin and her almost 2 yo. Both FT working moms, it's hard to hook up. I have another friend who I've been trying to set up a playdate with for months - she works PT and it's still hard!

So if you are able to do it once a month, I think that's great. Combined with the socialization they get at daycare/school - I don't think we are doing them a disservice by hogging up our time with them.