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ggt08
;)
Member since 5/05 5208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
Posted by shellybelle
Posted by Reese32
It drives me up the wall when people sit there and argue over who had coffee, or who had 2 drinks, or who just had a salad or whatever. If you're going out to dinner with another couple, or a group of people, you're treating yourself. If a couple of extra dollars saves some tension at the table, it's worth it IMO.
So I chose #1 
Totally agree
ditto....
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Posted 12/6/07 6:28 PM  |
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LittleBlueBug
Happy Mommy
Member since 9/06 4074 total posts
Name:
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
See, I feel more comfortable doing it individually (although most of the time it is just split). I know what my budget is and order accordingly. If my order is $10 (BLT and a cup of coffee), and someone orders a dinner meal with a couple of $6 drinks, then it irks me to pay half of their meal. I do it anyway with no ill will, but my preferance is individual. Sometimes I am going out to eat really for the social aspect of it, so it's not really a treat in that respect. I just go 'cause that's the plan for the evening and I want to see my friends/family.
I dunno, everyone's different.
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| Posted 12/6/07 6:39 PM |
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TheWhiteRabbit
Thru the rabbit hole!
Member since 7/06 4412 total posts
Name:
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
Posted by Ginger123
how is me saying something i believe is disgusting ... judging ??? i dont think less of someone... i just think its gross.... if I put a poll up asking people who liked sushi and someone said it was disgusting ..its not judgemental...its just thier likes..
If you think something a person is doing is 'gross' and 'disgusting' you don't think less of them? That seems a bit contradictory.
I don't think it's the same as asking 'do you like sushi' and someone says it's disgusting. A person just said they do a particular thing, behave in a particular way, and you say 'it's gross' - that IS judgmental.
I think if I am going out with 'friends' and they 'over order' or have a lot of drinks when other's didn't and DON'T kick in the extra share that they should, I wouldn't go out with them again. I voted 'split the bill evenly' because in general my friends and I are like minded and considerate of each other so we do just split it evenly. If there was someone who only ordered something small, i would insist they didn't pay the same as others.
As for whipping out a calculator, there are plenty of people who can't handle adding the 20% and dividing by the number of people. Thankfully I can do math in my head.
ETA: I am not talking about 'nickel and diming' or who had 2 coffees as opposed to 1, I am talking about someone who drank 3 $8 drinks when no one else did, or someone who ordered a $50 entree when everyone else's was $15-20, that type of thing.
Message edited 12/6/2007 7:09:42 PM.
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| Posted 12/6/07 7:03 PM |
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oops123
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 2509 total posts
Name:
michelle
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
Posted by Ginger123
if you have freinds that are cool with it ..rock on with your calculators..
lol. I think I would DIE if my DH broke out the calculator....or even asked another couple for $ to make the bill even....if you are going to be nickle and diming, maybe you shouldnt go out to dinner in the 1st place ....JMO
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| Posted 12/6/07 7:21 PM |
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Whamtastic
LIF Adult
Member since 1/07 997 total posts
Name:
Big Fat Baby with a Blackberry
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
Posted by oops123
Posted by Ginger123
if you have freinds that are cool with it ..rock on with your calculators..
lol. I think I would DIE if my DH broke out the calculator....or even asked another couple for $ to make the bill even....if you are going to be nickle and diming, maybe you shouldnt go out to dinner in the 1st place ....JMO
Wow, really? Because I can afford to pay for my order, but not someone else's extravagance, I shouldn't be going to dinner?
I don't think anyone here is really talking about nickle and diming people. If the difference is a few dollars, I don't think it's a big deal, but if it's significant, I think it's rude to expect that your dining companions will pay for your decision to order something more expensive, extra appetizers, drinks, etc.
Edited to fix italics
Message edited 12/6/2007 7:28:16 PM.
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| Posted 12/6/07 7:26 PM |
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MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
This is a MAJOR bone of contention with me. I'm sorry, but when I go out to dinner, and everyone's drinking, and everyone's eating the $15 dinner, and I opt to get the small salad and a soda because I'm FLAT BROKE, I don't think I should have to pay the same as everyone else!!!!
I don't think that makes me greedy, or disgusting, or anything else. I don't think I should have to stay home because I can't afford to drink that day.
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| Posted 12/6/07 8:04 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
Posted by johnsae
Even
Way too annoying to do it any other way.
ditto- I have almost paid for the whole thing when people have nickle and dimed it
ETA- if it's me, DH and a few of my friends- my DH pays every time
same with my friends husbands- if there is a guy at the table- he always pays
when it's us girls- we pick a place that is good for everyone- there have been many times where 1 of us has had less to spend and we pick a cheaper place
and if I order more- I normally pay more- if my friends let me and vice versa
Message edited 12/6/2007 8:25:52 PM.
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| Posted 12/6/07 8:07 PM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
Posted by eroxgirl
I usually have no problem splitting evenly but I have a few friends that I won't go out to dinner with anymore because they always always always over order and we usually wind up spending $150 per couple when DH and I had maybe a total of $75 worth of food and drinks between us.
The last time we all went out it cost us that much. The crew who always over eats and over drinks ordered 3 bottles of wine...there were 3 pregnant women at the table and 2 designated drivers so 5 people who weren't drinking paid for 4 people who were. Totally not fair that we all split it evenly but I'd be too embarrased to say something.
That's exactly my issue too. I have a set of friends who like to order and drink several $40.00 bottle of wines, etc. on their own and then expect to divvy the bill equally. Since I can't drink, should I be expected to pony up for their beverages for the night? It really depends who I'm with and what we're ordering. If I'm out with the habitual over-orderers, then I attempt to get separate checks. If it's casual dining, then split it evenly.
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| Posted 12/6/07 8:09 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
split even....I use to hate when a non drinker would sit there and add up my drinks to the table. If I drank, I always just said I would leave the tip on top of my even portion.
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| Posted 12/6/07 8:10 PM |
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MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
Posted by Ginger123
Posted by Whamtastic
Posted by Ginger123
EVENLY
YOU SHOULD NOT BE GOING OUT TO DINNER IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.. PULLING OUT A CALCLUATOR FOR DINNER IS DISGUSTING!!!
So if I don't have/want to spend an extra $20/$40/$60+, I shouldn't get to go out to dinner with friends? I whole-heartedly disagree. If I'm on a budget, I should be able to enjoy time with my friends and order an entree that is in my price range and not have to worry about what the rest of my party is ordering.
ETA: I also have no problem doing the math in my head.
no if i was your friend I wouldnt want to go to dinner with you if you are on a budget for the meal..
So, basically what you're saying is, your friendship with others depends on how much money they have to spend on dinners out--and when they hit tough times, they're no longer welcome to join?
I don't know, my friendships have always been a hellllllllllll of a lot less shallow than that.
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| Posted 12/6/07 8:18 PM |
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julz33
i run for bacon
Member since 5/05 20584 total posts
Name:
julz
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
Usually even... unless someone is speding $100 and everyone else $10. if it is a huge difference than I would say we each pay our own share.
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| Posted 12/6/07 8:22 PM |
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evenedan
Need a little sunshine
Member since 9/05 3843 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
We always split it evenly (but if I felt we ordered more than anyone else, I'd insist on throwing in extra cash, but that never happens because our friends drink and eat as much as we do!). I find it kind of petty when people sit and itemize, are you really that worried about a few dollars? And even worse than that are people who ask for seperate checks! 
ETA: Just realized I'm a little late to this party. This thread died two days ago and I just revived it. Sorry!
Message edited 12/8/2007 7:45:42 PM.
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| Posted 12/8/07 7:37 PM |
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MSeid
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/05 805 total posts
Name:
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
I find it tacky when people itemize each thing and nickel and dime the bill.
Message edited 3/9/2008 9:19:57 PM.
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| Posted 12/8/07 8:07 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
Posted by evenedan
And even worse than that are people who ask for seperate checks!
That happened to me once & I was p!ssed. We went to dinner with one of DH's friends and her spouse in SC. We just went to a chain restaurant for something pretty quick - maybe one drink each with a couple of sandwiches. They asked for seperate checks. Both checks came out to the exact same amount. 
I know this my thing but if my friends drove ~800 miles and brought me things I love from NY that I can't get locally I would take them to dinner. I wouldn't even split the check let alone ask for seperate checks so I don't get beat out of a couple of bucks.
Message edited 12/8/2007 8:16:06 PM.
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| Posted 12/8/07 8:15 PM |
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alnem
This is gonna be a good year!
Member since 2/06 9562 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
Posted by lvdolphins
I would have voted for other..
Most of the time, now what we do is simply ask for seperate checks. Sometimes the servers get annoyed, sometimes it's no problem.
If it's a HUGE problem, then, we split it evenly. If someone had alcohol, they throw in a little extra.
yup!
eta: im not embarassesd of this at all. im not ashamed to ask for separate checks especially if 1 of us orders $100 in food and drinks and i've ordered $25. there's also been times when 1 of my gf's whipped out a tip calculator that she has on her phone, i find it quite amusing that she even has the capability on her phone! i certainly wouldnt judge anyone or look down upon how someone manages money. to each their own. and to judge IMO is a bit rude, especially to be judgmental about someones choice of managing finances.
Message edited 12/8/2007 10:27:57 PM.
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| Posted 12/8/07 10:17 PM |
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Arieschick29
aries+cancer= pisces&gemini
Member since 3/06 4268 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
DH won't go out to dinner with friends anymore because of past experiences with this
We are not made of $$$ but still want to spend time with our friends. However, it annoys me greatly when we order burgers and our friends have wine, appitizers, steak, dessert and then expect us to split the bill evenly!!!
Everyone may think I'm "gross"or whatever  but when I am out with my girlfriends I just grab the check and say "Ok mine comes out to $20 and I'll put 5 toward the tip"
Everyone else follows suit and that way there is not fighting, no calculators and no issue.
Message edited 12/8/2007 10:43:32 PM.
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| Posted 12/8/07 10:32 PM |
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nadia
My two Girls=)
Member since 7/07 1421 total posts
Name:
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
It really depends. In the past we would split the bill. Now a days I'm preggo so I'm not drinking only dh. So we pay a little less now.
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| Posted 12/8/07 10:41 PM |
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nixy
LIF Adult
Member since 9/06 1575 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
Evenly among all.
having been a waitress separate checks kill me and iare a HUGE pain to do when you are a waitress!!
We have friends that go out to dinner a lot to very high end places and there are times DH and I just don't go with them when we don't have the money. I would be embarrassed to order a salad and water while everyone else is getting wine and filet mignon!
Other times if we don't want to spend a ton of $$ we will plan to go to a less expensive restaurant.
But on the whole, all of our friends enjoy good food and drink, so we are usually on the same page with what we order. If it is grossly uneven most people will man up and throw in more or wont accept as much from someone that didn't eat and drink a lot.
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| Posted 12/8/07 10:55 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
We always split the bill evenly. HOWEVER....I just went to a bachelorette party where certain girls didn't drink and other girls drank like fish. I felt that I (and the other girls) shouldn't have to split the bill and pay for everyone else's alcohol. They should man up and put in extra knowing that they drank like that.
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| Posted 12/9/07 8:37 AM |
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skew
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 6794 total posts
Name:
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
Posted by Ginger123
Posted by Whamtastic
Posted by Ginger123
EVENLY
YOU SHOULD NOT BE GOING OUT TO DINNER IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.. PULLING OUT A CALCLUATOR FOR DINNER IS DISGUSTING!!!
So if I don't have/want to spend an extra $20/$40/$60+, I shouldn't get to go out to dinner with friends? I whole-heartedly disagree. If I'm on a budget, I should be able to enjoy time with my friends and order an entree that is in my price range and not have to worry about what the rest of my party is ordering.
ETA: I also have no problem doing the math in my head.
to answer your question
So if I don't have/want to spend an extra $20/$40/$60+, I shouldn't get to go out to dinner with friends?
no if i was your friend I wouldnt want to go to dinner with you if you are on a budget for the meal.. we are not just paying for the meal... I believe you pay for the expierence and my expierence would be ruined if i knew i had to get a calculator out at the end of the night ... when i am on budget i invite people to my house ... once again if your friends are cool with it rock on ... but dont be suprised if other people think its gross.
WOW! so, if your "friends" are on a budget, you would rather forego the "experience" of spending time and dinner with them then deal w/ being uncomfortable while they calculate their tab? IMO, that attitude is "gross".
to answer the OQ, split the bill evenly. HOWEVER, if a friend is on a budget than i would absolutely chip in for them. spending time w/ them is more important to me than money.
Message edited 12/9/2007 10:11:55 AM.
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| Posted 12/9/07 9:48 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
Personally, I always assume that it will be split evenly and I order accordingly.
Although there have been times when I got screwed (I mean to the tune of $400 appetizers that I couldn't eat because I don't eat shellfish), I just assume that it is the way it is.
If someone has a budget issue, its better just to ask for their own check at the BEGINNING of the meal, or to discuss it beforehand that you want to split it individually.
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| Posted 12/9/07 12:17 PM |
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Candy Girl
Candy girl- you are so sweet!
Member since 11/07 6349 total posts
Name:
erin
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
I usually expect to split the bill evenly among all parties eating dinner. There have been times however, when someone would order really expensive oysters or a fancy bottle of wine and I was like  . In the end, I just shrug it off. It's not like it happens weekly...I mean I can think of ONE time it happened with my brother and SIL. And another time at a Bachelorette party in Vegas, but the girl threw in the extra hundred bucks in the end anyway. When I go out for a quick bite with co-workers, and I get an egg sandwich and someone else gets roasted chicken, they usually throw in more anyway...no scrutinizing the bill needed.
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| Posted 12/9/07 1:21 PM |
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Candy Girl
Candy girl- you are so sweet!
Member since 11/07 6349 total posts
Name:
erin
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
Remember the episode of Friends about this?
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| Posted 12/9/07 1:25 PM |
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kellsbells7
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/07 590 total posts
Name:
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
Posted by melbalalala
NOOOOOOOO way. You are talking my #1 pet peev in the entire world.
My motto, hands down...
PAY FOR WHAT YOU EAT AND DO NOT SPLIT EVENLY
Nothing drives me crazier than this topic. If I go out with a group and get a diet coke and a sandwich, there's no WAY im paying $30 because people had wine, appetizers, etc. How is that ever ever fair?
If people can't do the math, I'll gladly tell them what they owe.
If figuring out who ate/drank what and what they owe causes "tension" among you and your friends, you need new friends.
It works with us, no one complains, and everyone pays for what they enjoyed that night.
I agree! It is really uncomfortable for US when we are asked to pay $70 each because all the drinkers say "yeah - just split it evenly!" when we don't even drink! They have had 4 $10 drinks each and we have had none...water and soda. I think it is rude to assume we will pay for their meal.
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| Posted 12/9/07 1:45 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Going out to dinner with others (or a group) - with Poll
We Pay
The other couple pays
We split it evenly
EWhen my closest friend was pregnant-we threw in extra since she didn't drink.
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| Posted 12/9/07 2:04 PM |
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