Got my lab results..(sorry long)

I had a miscarriage a few weeks ago @10 weeks and passed the fetus whole. My OB took it for testing. This whole time ONLY a couple of things have been getting me through and keeping me from being a psychotic mess:

1) That when I hold the baby meant for me it will feel right and if this had not happened I would not get THAT baby. I had such intense feelings holding DS the night he was born and I am hoping/praying it will be the same next time.

2) I was telling myself it was chromosomal and I would not want to continue a pregnancy or deliver a baby that would not make it.

So the Dr told me today that it did not come back as being a chromosomal defect. Hearing that knocked the wind out of me. I feel like I am back to square one emotionally and I am questioning every single thing I did. She did say it could have been something more rare that they did not test for. They tested for all of the "typical" things though and nothing came back irregular. She did say I should not be too concerned and it may still be chromosomal but they did not pick it up through the testing. She said there are too many factors and unfortunately this is something that may never be answered. I realize that but it still sucks.. I was betting on it being chromosomal and something out of my hands. I felt like the silver lining of the horrific way it happened was that they could test it and find out some answers!! I am just so upset all over again and I don't get why that baby couldn't have stayed with me. :'(

OB also told me if I wanted to I could go to a reproductive endocrinologist or a maternal fetal medicine doctor. Is that something I should do?!? This was my first miscarriage and I had a healthy pregnancy and birth with my DS. Is this something I should consider??? I don't want to drive myself insane and I am afraid the more things I hear the more obsessive I may get. My plan was to *try* and chill out and get pregnant again. I was not really even considering further investigations since it was my first MC.

Thoughts?? tia

Ets: I guess I don't get why my OB would mention that at this point?? Wouldn't that be a bit of an overreaction?? Or am I not reacting enough?!? This whole thing SUCKS!!!

Message edited 2/21/2012 8:09:13 PM.

Re: Got my lab results..(sorry long)

I'm so sorry for your loss It's very unfortunate but miscarriages are really common in the first trimester. I had 2 losses, the first one came back with a chromosomal abnormality and the 2nd one came back as "normal". My hematologist is convinced that the 2nd miscarriage wasn't "normal" but there was a chromosomal abnormality that either wasn't tested for or testing for it doesn't exist yet. I personally wouldn't go the RE route just yet. Having one healthy DS should be very reassuring that you will be able to have more healthy children. I'm surprised your dr even gave you the suggestion to see a RE. Good luck with whatever you choose

Re: Got my lab results..(sorry long)

I was very surprised myself! It was my OB's partner so I don't know her as well. She said that some women like to be more proactive and get tested.. I was leaning towards just relaxing, chalking it up to being a fluke and moving forward as best I can. Now I am so confused.

Re: Got my lab results..(sorry long)

I'm so sorry for your loss!

As far as getting another opinion, I think that even if you are remotely considering it - do it. If you are covered by insurance, why not just have the reassurance that you have covered your bases? I've been in your same position, with my doc telling me that he didn't think it was necessary for me to see a specialist but I always had the "what if" in the back of my head. In the end, I did get another opinion for peace of mind and I'm happy I did. After 3 mc's I can tell you that it's scary going into another pregnancy thinking that there is something else you could have done. For me, I think that TTC and loss is so out of my control and I felt that the one thing I could control was my knowledge on what was happening. Best of luck to you!

Re: Got my lab results..(sorry long)

I am so sorry for your loss.

My opnion about going to an RE is to go with what you feel is best for you. I feel that our gut feelings sometimes help us make good decisions. I have 2 mc, no children yet. My OBGYN told me he didnt see a reason to get tested and felt that it was a string of bad luck. I thought about it and went to see a RE. I rather have the piece of mind and know if something is wrong.

Re: Got my lab results..(sorry long)

I think it's over reacting. I would ask your regular dr if there is a reason to go to a specialist. My first pregnancy was fine. Then I had a natural mc at 8 weeks ( no testing was done). Then next pregnancy was normal. My dr said there was no reason to think it would happen again because I already had a successful pregnancy.