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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
In my family, there are 4 siblings. 3 of the siblings are married and 2 of the 3 married siblings have children. At holiday time, we all give to the children and our mother. Our mother gives to her children and grandchildren. The siblings do not exchange gifts amongst each other. It gets expensive. I dont have children yet, but it would never stop me from giving to my nieces and nephews. It makes me happy to be able to do things for them. I do not need presents.
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Posted 12/12/07 2:49 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
Posted by Jennie0898
Posted by Ophelia
ok, so I do not have children (and neither does d to the h, to my knowlege  ) but many of our friends/family/siblings do.
We always buy for the adults AND the children....I could not imagine NOT buying gifts for my sister or uncle and his wife.
yet I often here, "we are just buying for the kids this year"
now, what about the childless couple? what do you think about one couple giving gifts to others kids, but not being reciprocated b/c they do not have children?
my jury is still out on this. what are your thoughts?
I don't get it to be honest but my husband's family does it this way. We buy for everyone's kids which is a pretty large number and in return they don't buy us anything. In the last few years one of his sisters decided to start buying us a couples gift b/c she realized we buy for everyone and never get anything in return. However the other sister doesn't view it this way and has made it clear that she and her DH have no intention of exchanging gifts with any of us.
I don't understand why they don't exchange it's not for the sake of getting a gift, I just think it's more fun. I LOVE buying gifts for people, it's a joy seeing their faces light up when they open up your gift and they love what we've bought for them. To me that's the true joy of gift giving...
Now on the other hand in my family, we exchange with everyone. IMO, it just makes for a more fun filled Christmas.
ITA!
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| Posted 12/12/07 2:50 PM |
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partyof6
b nice like u want ur kidz 2
Member since 7/06 7752 total posts
Name:
jeannine
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
my sister does not have any kids and she spends a fortune on all of our kids...
my sil tried to pull that. I said noWay! she spends a ton!
I made sure she gets for every xmas and bday and she gets treats like a kid..she still is in my eyes..,.
thats bull.
shes the last to get married and the last to have kids..so why should she get the shaft?
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| Posted 12/12/07 4:05 PM |
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diva7531
My Peanut
Member since 2/07 5199 total posts
Name:
Ryan 3 boys EDD 11/6!
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
Posted by LaurenExp
In my family, you no longer get gifts once you have kids. I don't have kids of my own, but I have stepkids, which makes me ineligible in the gift department. For those who don't have kids (my stepsister and her DH), they get gifts and they give only to the kids.
Exactly, the only reason we stop giving to the adults is because it would be way out of control. Our family is HUGE!!! But I still get gifts for my brother and sister, but because I can
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| Posted 12/12/07 4:07 PM |
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kms717
St Philomena Protect My Son
Member since 2/06 2747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
My family does a grab bag for the adults and everyone buys for the kids. In DH family which is very small, only one niece and two brothers (no SILs) and his mom, so we just buy for everyone and everyone buys for us.
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| Posted 12/12/07 4:14 PM |
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JMC1014
We got a puppy!!
Member since 5/07 1420 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
This is the first year that we have a new baby in the family (not us but my cousin) and I normally buy them both a nice gift but this year they are only getting a smaller joint gift and the baby will get gifts.
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| Posted 12/12/07 4:36 PM |
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JessInCA
live laugh love
Member since 8/06 5082 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
Posted by Kara
Posted by Belladonna219
I think it is unfair for a couple with no kids to not get a gift. I find it rude.
As the couple with no kids who doesn't get a gift, I don't find it rude. I don't want or need our siblings spending money on gifts for us just for the sake of giving us a gift. We don't want or need anything we wouldn't buy for ourselves, and we're happy just giving gifts to the kids.
I agree with both of you - I have mixed feelings on this! On DHs side, we are the one childless couple, and I'll admit there is a small part of me that feels it's unfair that we spend our time and money choosing thoughtful gifts for all the kids, but no one ever gets us anything. Also, they never even communicated to us that the plan was to only get gifts for the kids, so one year it just changed abruptly - after two years of gifting everyone but receiving nothing, we started only buying for the children as well. But that's another story.
On the other hand, the reason I don't get upset about it is because, as Kara said, we don't need the ILs to spend money on us just for the sake of us getting a present or making things "fair". While it would be a nice gesture, it's unnecessary. We give to the kids because we want to, and are happy to know our generosity is providing them with things they need. Hopefully if we have children someday, we will receive gifts for them as well.
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| Posted 12/12/07 4:45 PM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
In my family, we exchange with everyone. We enjoy it and there has never been issue or question to stop.
In DHs family...he is 1 of 7 and there are 7 nieces/nephews. A few years ago it was decided that the kris kringle would stop (this was done among the siblings and significant others) and that we would all continue to just buy for the kids. My MIL nudged the parents and reminded them that the childless ones should be receiving something so a few years ago, the parents started buying us childless ones little "token" gifts.
This year, after a disgusting display of scrooge-dom, it was "decided" that just the kids will participate in a kris kringle. Those that are childless can either continue to buy for all the kids (status quo) or not buy anything at all.
Needless to say, I am still bitter and have lost all joy this season towards half my husband's family. 
Hopefully Team Holiday Spirit will prevail...
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| Posted 12/12/07 4:54 PM |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
WOw the childless couple in my family does pretty darn well 
we have a set amount to spend PER FAMILY. (diviided up by the kids, or it has become way unfair, we have 3 kids, my sister 4 kids and one brother has 1, one has none. so to make it fair, we've started the PER FAMILY amount.
the moms discuss what the kids might need/love/hate, etc. we've done bonds and small gifts/toys/clothes.
(they all get MOREEE Than enough from their parents and grandparents).
so my brother that doesnt have children, does pretty darn well, he and his wife get cash or gift cards, whatever they prefer   
As far as with friends, we've always given gifts to anyone without children that has gotten our kids a gift.
That is common courtesy to me. I could never NOT do that.
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| Posted 12/12/07 5:41 PM |
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