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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
For the extended family, we give only to the kids -
I don't know if my sister and I would stop giving to each other when we have kids ........I can't imagine not giving my only sister a gift .... -
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Posted 12/12/07 11:36 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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JessInCA
live laugh love
Member since 8/06 5082 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
I think it's nice to give a little something to the parents too, but for the most part, we only buy for the kids.
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| Posted 12/12/07 11:37 AM |
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KrisT
Two Boys for Me!!
Member since 1/07 5213 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
On my immediate side of the family, there are no children so it's no issue and we all buy for each other.
DH has 4 siblings (3 are married) and we have nieces and nephews. The siblings and spouses do a Secret Santa. Everyone buys for the children.
I think it works out well because the adults are not left out.
We also do a Secret Santa with DH's extended family (all adults and kids - aunts, uncles, and cousins, etc.) which also is good because he has a very large family.
Message edited 12/12/2007 11:41:16 AM.
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| Posted 12/12/07 11:40 AM |
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LIBOUND
Texting king
Member since 10/05 5289 total posts
Name:
Suzy
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
We do a Kris Kringle for anyone 18 and over, and we give to the kids until they are 17. It's the way we've done it for years.
I do give to my sister, bil and bff as far as adults are concerned.
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| Posted 12/12/07 11:40 AM |
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photoshopbabe
wow....
Member since 5/07 2197 total posts
Name:
linda
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
in my family, there are no "kids". mother was an only child and we dont really see my fathers side. we get gifts from my parents and bro and do the same
in HIS family, however...we get no gifts from anyone and we buy the kids gifts. the first couple of years i used to buy for everyone, but then people felt weird, so i just stopped buying for all of them...however, i wouldnt mind a little thoughtful gift for christmas, being that ive always bought them stuff and we ARE family.
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| Posted 12/12/07 11:54 AM |
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mooshyboo
So Blessed!
Member since 11/07 6297 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
me and dh dont have kids ~ but we always are buying for our friends kids ~ younger cousins etc... honestly it is very rare it is reciprocated...
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| Posted 12/12/07 12:16 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
We actually stopped exhanging with our friends a few yers ago.
One close friend has since had a child, and we give him gifts, but don't care that they don't give us anything. I know they would if/when we had offspring.
My family also cut back on gifts & I only buy from my teen cousins, but my aunt put up a fight, b/c she felt it was wierd for her kids to eb the only ones getting gifts.
I think it's fine, b/c there were yars & years that we got gifts form everyone under the sun, so I'm fine with continuing to give gifts to the teens--they have time to make up for.
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| Posted 12/12/07 12:31 PM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
I think if my family did this, what would be fair is gifts for the kids and a secret santa for the adults.
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| Posted 12/12/07 12:42 PM |
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Waste06
Waste not, want not
Member since 6/06 7219 total posts
Name:
Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
We all buy for the children and our parents.
The adults in my family do a grab bag, that way each one of us gets to open a gift or two on Christmas, whether or not we have children.
Mom and Dad still buy for all of us, and our spouses, as well as the grandkids of course. But my mom might give me and my other sister without kids a few more things than my other two sisters with kids.
My mother ALWAYS has to even things out. She will never over-gift one family more than the other.
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| Posted 12/12/07 12:48 PM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
In our families we buy for the kids only, but we get gifts as we do not have kids (and we buy for my brother who does not have kids) We are due to have this baby any day, so this will be the last christmas that we receive gifts.
This only pertains to the siblings, not the parents, my dad still buys for all and my ILs buy for their kids and their grandkids. And we buy for them.
I find that with the adults its nearly impossible because we all pretty much go out and buy for ourselves what we want through the year anyway.
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| Posted 12/12/07 12:48 PM |
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nicrae
He's here!
Member since 12/06 9289 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
In our family everyone buys for the kids and the adults do a secret santa.
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| Posted 12/12/07 12:58 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
I buy little gifts for the adults in my family who HAVE kids and then really BIG gifts for the kids, i have one cousin with no kids so i get her a bigger gift.
FH and I get big gifts and we will until we have our own kids then we will get "token" gifts like a CD or an ornament
I have a family member who married in who the year she had her first baby decided that ONLY THE KIDS will get gifts. . . i have posted before about people coming INTO the family and trying to change everything
well the Christmas after that "proclamation" EVERYONE got EVERYONE else gifts, including HER but she did not purchase gifts for any of the adults and boy was she NOT happy
oh well. . . .i can imagine not giving ANYTHING to the adults . . .that is just sad - i mean i spent about $20 per couple this year and everyone is getting really cute stuff! and I spent about $100 per kid.
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| Posted 12/12/07 1:03 PM |
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dgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/07 1079 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
DH has 3 siblings and everyone is either married or in a serious relationship. Once the kids started showing up it became crazy with the presents.
On his side, we do a secret santa for all the siblings and their significant others with a $200 limit. This way it is one big present for each adult. Then, along the way if I see something that I think would be great for someone I will pick it up, but I can be relaxed about it because it's not just a huge list. I am really close with SIL so usually I will get her a book or something, BIL is an artist and he will sometimes make a piece here and there if he's feeling it and give it even if he didn't get the person for Secret Santa.
Everyone buys for the kids, pets, and for DH's parents. DH's parents buy for everybody. It's been working pretty well. Those first couple of years buying for kids and everybody we were spending thousands, and it was really stressful especially for those with kids to then go and shop for 7 adults.
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| Posted 12/12/07 1:09 PM |
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Belladonna219
HOT MAMA
Member since 2/07 2642 total posts
Name:
Belladonna219
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
I think it is unfair for a couple with no kids to not get a gift. I find it rude.
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| Posted 12/12/07 1:27 PM |
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CunningOne
***
Member since 5/05 26975 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
AS a parent now, with 2 kids, I totally don't mind when friends/family just buy for the kids.... That makes me happy and I seriously don't need much.
I went through a long period of time where all my friends had kids and I didn't (I got married at 30 and one of the last in my group to get married and have kids). Every year, it was "let's buy for kids only." And I would buy 8-10 presents for all the kids and get nothing. I admit it really bothered me to get nothing.
Now my tune has changed, so I can't really say I take one side over the other. It's a very tough spot to be in.
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| Posted 12/12/07 1:38 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
We do this with my SIL's, we only buy for the kids. My sister buys for our kids but we still buy for her. This year she is preggo and is due Feb 4th so I bought her a bunch of stuff for the baby (which was her idea) I think most people do this because it becomes so expensive to buy for everyone.
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| Posted 12/12/07 2:04 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
Posted by Belladonna219
I think it is unfair for a couple with no kids to not get a gift. I find it rude.
As the couple with no kids who doesn't get a gift, I don't find it rude. I don't want or need our siblings spending money on gifts for us just for the sake of giving us a gift. We don't want or need anything we wouldn't buy for ourselves, and we're happy just giving gifts to the kids. In fact, in my DH's family, DH was the one who suggested this and we are childless.
It works for us, though I realize that doesn't mean it'd work for everyone. 
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| Posted 12/12/07 2:08 PM |
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JRG71
*****************
Member since 5/05 5025 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
Friends/Family with kids - buy just for the kids
Friends/Family no kids - Buy couple gift.
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| Posted 12/12/07 2:15 PM |
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itkocak
Member since 7/07 7639 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
Message edited 11/15/2011 3:24:23 PM.
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| Posted 12/12/07 2:16 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
Posted by imthekevinofcindyandkevin
I don't like the whole "proclamation" idea. "From now on we are only buying gifts for the kids".
I would never dictate to someone how to celebrate their holiday and you can't tell me what to do. That being said I always tell people when they ask me what I want that I really have all the crap I could use please use the money for a gift for Chelsea or buy yourself something. Is that hypocritical? I don't know but you celebrate how you wish. Who is anyone to tell you how to have a good time or feeling of joy?
It was far less a proclamation in BOTH our families as it was a mutual agreement. No one is dictating to anyone - and this year I'm giving everyone framed family pictures from our wedding...
In our families, the gift giving was out of control, ridiculously expensive with a large family, and detracted for US from what the holiday was all about. I'm not banned from giving someone a gift. It's more an understanding that we don't have to exchange gifts... which in our families, is actually appreciated. (This is just my experience, though. Other families work differently!)
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| Posted 12/12/07 2:20 PM |
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itkocak
Member since 7/07 7639 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
Message edited 11/15/2011 3:24:40 PM.
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| Posted 12/12/07 2:33 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
I didn't think you were singling me out. I was just giving my experience / perspective.
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| Posted 12/12/07 2:34 PM |
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toni-mike
???????
Member since 10/07 1196 total posts
Name:
Toni
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
this is our first married xmas 2gether , dh has 2 kids. even before i met him I ALWAYS gave to the ppl that had kids , i gave sep gifts to them & their kids. I never wanted to give that " 2gether gift" as i felt someone got robbed. now that its my first xmas & ive given to all those ppl & their kids in the past , im getting the "we are giving u guys a 2gether gift" & im still giving to the kids & them ,, 
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| Posted 12/12/07 2:42 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
Posted by Ophelia
ok, so I do not have children (and neither does d to the h, to my knowlege  ) but many of our friends/family/siblings do.
We always buy for the adults AND the children....I could not imagine NOT buying gifts for my sister or uncle and his wife.
yet I often here, "we are just buying for the kids this year"
now, what about the childless couple? what do you think about one couple giving gifts to others kids, but not being reciprocated b/c they do not have children?
my jury is still out on this. what are your thoughts?
I don't get it to be honest but my husband's family does it this way. We buy for everyone's kids which is a pretty large number and in return they don't buy us anything. In the last few years one of his sisters decided to start buying us a couples gift b/c she realized we buy for everyone and never get anything in return. However the other sister doesn't view it this way and has made it clear that she and her DH have no intention of exchanging gifts with any of us.
I don't understand why they don't exchange it's not for the sake of getting a gift, I just think it's more fun. I LOVE buying gifts for people, it's a joy seeing their faces light up when they open up your gift and they love what we've bought for them. To me that's the true joy of gift giving...
Now on the other hand in my family, we exchange with everyone. IMO, it just makes for a more fun filled Christmas.
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| Posted 12/12/07 2:45 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
Posted by Jennie0898
I don't understand why they don't exchange it's not for the sake of getting a gift, I just think it's more fun. I LOVE buying gifts for people, it's a joy seeing their faces light up when they open up your gift and they love what we've bought for them. To me that's the true joy of gift giving...
Now on the other hand in my family, we exchange with everyone. IMO, it just makes for a more fun filled Christmas.
word word word
ho ho ho
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| Posted 12/12/07 2:46 PM |
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