How did you know you were ready to TTC?

I think about having a child everyday...

I dream about being pregnant A LOT....

I dream about having an infant A LOT...

but then I think of tons and tons of reasons why I'm not ready (we aren't done with projects around the house, i want to do a few more vacations, i love all the alone time i have with DH and i don't want to give that up, and the body issues - not sure if i'm ready to give up my pretty decent 25 year old young and tight looking body ) and the thought of "trying" (or just going off the pill) makes me so nervous that it feels like I'll never actually be ready

So what is up with me? I think it's more than the normal baby fever that comes and goes b/ I find myself constantly daydreaming about it and thinking about it and now dreaming about it...could it actually be that my biological clock is ticking?!?!

How were you sure that you were sure it was time? Do you stop questioning it?

Message edited 5/18/2010 2:05:48 PM.

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

Posted by Nik211

I think about having a child everyday...

I dream about being pregnant A LOT....

I dream about having an infant A LOT...

but then I think of tons and tons of reasons why I'm not ready (we aren't done with projects around the house, i want to do a few more vacations, i love all the alone time i have with DH and i don't want to give that up, and the body issues - not sure if i'm ready to give up my pretty decent 25 year old young and tight looking body ) and the thought of "trying" (or just going off the pill) makes me so nervous that it feels like I'll never actually be ready

So what is up with me? I think it's more than the normal baby fever that comes and goes b/ I find myself constantly daydreaming about it and thinking about it and now dreaming about it...could it actually be that my biological clock is ticking?!?!

How were you sure that you were sure it was time? Do you stop questioning it?

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

I would like to know the answer to this too.

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

Posted by KittyGags

Posted by Nik211

I think about having a child everyday...

I dream about being pregnant A LOT....

I dream about having an infant A LOT...

but then I think of tons and tons of reasons why I'm not ready (we aren't done with projects around the house, i want to do a few more vacations, i love all the alone time i have with DH and i don't want to give that up, and the body issues - not sure if i'm ready to give up my pretty decent 25 year old young and tight looking body ) and the thought of "trying" (or just going off the pill) makes me so nervous that it feels like I'll never actually be ready

So what is up with me? I think it's more than the normal baby fever that comes and goes b/ I find myself constantly daydreaming about it and thinking about it and now dreaming about it...could it actually be that my biological clock is ticking?!?!

How were you sure that you were sure it was time? Do you stop questioning it?

I feel exactly the same as you, except i'm 29 and not as skinny. LOL


But i'm curious how people know they're ready...

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

It's weird, I feel like I'm ready but at the same time I am afraid I will regret it in the future...

My biggest thing though is I don't want to share my DH meaning, I love all the quality time we spend together and I am afraid of that changing, it almost makes me sad...but I guess if you make time for eachother it won't be like that? My parents never went on date my whole life - I don't want to end up like that!

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

Oddly enough, I didn't have too much of an urge until we got a puppy. I always wanted kids, but I was happy with having them "someday." It wasn't pressing. The puppy definitely triggered my maternal instinct. I found myself so nurturing and loving the idea that this little guy needed me.
It was shortly after getting the dog that we decided to go off BCP and were ready for a family.

I used to say, "I don't want to be pregnant for this one's wedding or that event, or my 30th bday (which is this week btw)," all so I could "enjoy" myself, but suddenly, I could care less about partying. All I wanted was to be pregnant and on my way to motherhood. DH and I wanted to take a few more trips, but again, nothing became more important than wanting a family.

I'd definitely say it wasn't a "moment" but more of an evolution of feelings. I think it's totally normal to be nervous about it--it's uncharted territory--but at the end of the day, we just knew this was what we wanted and we'll figure it out as we go.

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

Hi Ladies -

I hope I'm not crashing, and that I get what I am thinking out in an understandable manner

I never really knew if I was ready when I "thought" I was ready. I went off BCP thinking that I still wasn't sure, but that we had plenty of time. When I got pregnant, I still wasn't sure...I remember telling dh days before everything happened that I wasn't ready to share him, and that I was having a hard time handling the fact that in a few days it wouldn't be just the two of us anymore. And then we lost Sarah. And that's when I KNEW, without an ounce of doubt, that I was ready. I was ready to be a mom, and have everything that came with it.

My point is, I don't think you will ever know for sure if you are ready or not. Do everything you want with your house, your vacas, your dh that you want to do pre-baby, and then leave it in whoever's hands it may be. You'll go through so many emotions...you'll doubt yourself time and time again, but when the time comes, you will be ready. I promise.

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

I agree. I don't think anyone is every really ready. I kept thinking there are things that a want a house this or that first but, someone told me if you wait for those things you will never do it. I never was the type to sit and dream about babies or getting married. I kind of just woke up and was like I think I am ready as I will ever be.

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

Posted by Bean08

Hi Ladies -

I hope I'm not crashing, and that I get what I am thinking out in an understandable manner

I never really knew if I was ready when I "thought" I was ready. I went off BCP thinking that I still wasn't sure, but that we had plenty of time. When I got pregnant, I still wasn't sure...I remember telling dh days before everything happened that I wasn't ready to share him, and that I was having a hard time handling the fact that in a few days it wouldn't be just the two of us anymore. And then we lost Sarah. And that's when I KNEW, without an ounce of doubt, that I was ready. I was ready to be a mom, and have everything that came with it.

My point is, I don't think you will ever know for sure if you are ready or not. Do everything you want with your house, your vacas, your dh that you want to do pre-baby, and then leave it in whoever's hands it may be. You'll go through so many emotions...you'll doubt yourself time and time again, but when the time comes, you will be ready. I promise.

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

I am ready but it took a very long time up until this point.

Dh has been ready longer but he never pressured me.

Dont get my wrong, I ahve always wantd a family. I just needed the timing to be right and I needed to feel that desire to be a mom. I was hoping it would hit me one day...

For a while, my excuse was always money but I dont have that excuse anymore.
To be honest we are in a very good position, we have a house, we both have excellent jobs, we take 4-5 trips a year and we have known each other since 2001.

Even after our finances improved and we did all the amazing things and travels that a married couple can do, day after day I was never ready and I actually was scared that I would never ever feel like get that "urge" to me a mom. That is... until my best friend had a baby.

When I saw that baby, I actually cried happy tears. I felt so much emotion. And since the birth of her child I feel like everyone around me is now pregnant or with one child or more and it has allowed me to be more accepting of myself with a baby. Now this is the next step in my life.

I am still scared to death- I really am happy with my figure right now, In addition, we have always been carefree about trips and spending etc and the thought of paying $1600/month for day care and extra for baby items as well as losing the "spontaneous" aspect of our relationship definitely freaks me out.

I am also scared that we will lose our "us time" which I covet on the weekends especially. We love to go out to dinner on ates or see movies or go wine tasting or travel. I just dont want to lose that. I want to make sure our relationship comes first.


And I am ready now. And to see DH also being so exctied about trying has really added to my anticipation.

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

DH and I always had the mentality of “when it happens it happens”.  So we just stopped being careful.  Last July, I REALLY thought I was PG.  I was 4 days late which NEVER happens.  We pretty much figured this was it.  The day I was planning to take a PG test – AF showed.  I found myself to be very disappointed.  I later found out that SIL was pregnant with DC #2 and for some reason, I just cried.  It was then that I realized that I was actually hoping that AF wasn’t going to come and that I really wanted to have a baby. 

We started to become a little more pro active and as time went by, we ended up really following a lot of TTC methods.  Currently, I am on going onto my 4th month of using the CBEFM. 

I get what you are saying about the alone time, and vacationing and whatnot.  DH and I think of that too.  Fortunately, I plan on being a SAHM, and DH owns his own business so for us it will be more or less a matter of whether or not we are willing to leave our kids with someone to go away.  We also plan on taking a lot of vacations with our children.  Since last summer, we have been trying to take as many vacations that are not really “kid friendly” as possible, so that we don’t have to feel like we are missing out.  I’ve also been working really hard to keep myself in shape (I’m pretty thin so I also worry about what will happen post-baby), so that I can continue to exercise regularly throughout my pregnancy and hopefully the weight will come off easier afterwards. 

The one thing that I will say is that IMO – it’s VERY important for you and your DH to be on the same page.  There is no telling where the journey of TTC will take you and you will need to be each other’s support.  And then you always have us here!!

GL!! 

Message edited 5/18/2010 4:24:26 PM.

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

DH and I have our careers at a good place., we are settled into our house and we are comfortable financially.

We are mentally ready- in all aspects

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

I feel like I'm in your boat, but maybe don't dream about it as much as you There is still so much I want to do - travel, house projects, but something you have to keep in mind is that you still will be able to do those things when you have a baby. Obvsiouly not as quickly as without kids, but it can still happen. I also don't get to see DH that much with his work schedule but I never thought of it as sharing him with baby. The baby would be occupying both of our times. You can still do date nights. Just because your parents never did, doesn't mean you can't! Your family lives near you so you have that option. It all works out

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

I never had the maternal urge, never really knew for sure that i wanted kids, always said 'maybe someday when i'm grown up'
Then when we got married, i said we shouldn't try until we had a house (we lived in a 1br apt in a house.. no way was i going to have a baby there). I think i still wasn't ready at that point. Then we bought the house and i said i wanted to enjoy it for a year before we started TTC'ing. And then bam, all of a sudden after 3 years.. something in me clicked. It was like i realized that DH and I were a family, and i wanted to add to it with something that we both helped to create. I can't really describe it other than that..
DH has always wanted kids btw

and now, here we are..17 months of TTC'ing and diagnosed with unexplained infertility.

So.. i say.. the most important thing is for you and your dh to be on the same page about it. TTC'ing can get stressful (depending on how crazy you get with it) and it's the one thing in your life that you have absolutely no control over and can't plan down to the tiniest detail (which i need to do)
If you think you're ready, then talk to him and you guys will figure it out.
You are still young though so you do have time to still enjoy your marriage and each other before you TTC (sorry, i know you don't want to hear that) - so if you don't feel its the right time, then wait a little while.

no one else can tell you when is the right or wrong time for you to TTC

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

dh and i talked about it and when i came off bcp we went at it with a "if it happens, it happens" attitude but then i got my period and i was SO dissappointed so i knew i really wanted it.

as for giving up time with DH, yea it sucks and i think about that alot but the new bonding that will come when you form a family can be just as good. and there is always ways to make quality time with DH

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

Posted by Bean08

Hi Ladies -

I hope I'm not crashing, and that I get what I am thinking out in an understandable manner

I never really knew if I was ready when I "thought" I was ready. I went off BCP thinking that I still wasn't sure, but that we had plenty of time. When I got pregnant, I still wasn't sure...I remember telling dh days before everything happened that I wasn't ready to share him, and that I was having a hard time handling the fact that in a few days it wouldn't be just the two of us anymore. And then we lost Sarah. And that's when I KNEW, without an ounce of doubt, that I was ready. I was ready to be a mom, and have everything that came with it.

My point is, I don't think you will ever know for sure if you are ready or not. Do everything you want with your house, your vacas, your dh that you want to do pre-baby, and then leave it in whoever's hands it may be. You'll go through so many emotions...you'll doubt yourself time and time again, but when the time comes, you will be ready. I promise.

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

I've wanted to be a mommy for as long as I could remember. As a kid, I'd stuff pillows/basketball under my shirt and pretend to be preggo. I played with dolls until i was 12.

I was always very careful in my late teens/early twenties to not have to "make a choice" because I always knew in the back of my head that someday I would find my tall, dark and handsome man (I did!) and that we would fall in love, get married, and start a family.

I think my urge to have a baby has been magnified bc every single person around me has a baby. Some are even preggo with #2. I know I shouldn't try to "keep up with the jones'" but I can't help but to feel this way. Every time I'm around a baby I "hog" it (according to DH). A coworker brought in her 3 mo old cousin today to visit and the first thing i did was drop my bag and go scoop her up (my coworker asked if i wanted to hold her).

I love babies and I want to start MY family. I want to feel included in the "mommy" things my friends are doing. I feel like I've lived one part of my life and it was FUN but now i'm ready to start this NEW part of my life, which I have a feeling will be 10000x better than my old life. I'm just ready to be a mommy.

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

I just knew! I didn't care about vacations or house projects or anything else that was a part of my "no-kid" life...............ALL I cared about was getting pregnant and having a baby. I adore my DH, we've been together since we were 16 years old so it's been about 18 years now so we've had A LOT of time together but our "family" started to feel incomplete. I love every second with my DH, we do everything together, but we both wanted more. We both really wanted a baby. We TTC for a while with no luck, ended up at an RE, and we had our beautiful and amazing DD in Sept. 2008..........at 33 years old! I never expected to be 33 when I had my first baby!!

Anyway, I don't miss anything about my old life. Being a mom and raising a child is EVERYTHING I thought it would be and more!! I've never been happier in my life and to look at this little person and to know that DH and I made her because of "us" is just an awesome feeling. We can't wait for #2! Trust me, once you commit to having a baby and once you're pregnant especially, NOTHING else will matter. You will be so consumed with the baby on the way it's all you will care about it.

And your life AFTER a baby arrives is what you make of it. Yes we don't go out as much but the times we do it's more special and fun because it's a treat, we take our DD everywhere and always have since she was an infant so now that she is a toddler it gives us the freedom to do all kinds of things with her because she is so well behaved, and life in general is really much, much better. Waaaaaaay better than before my DD came into this world!

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

Hofstra i love hearing that...that you love your life now as a Mommy...it's funny b/c when DH and i tell people we have been thinking about having kids soon we get different reactions depending on who we talk too...and i hate to say this, but there are people who tell us to wait and it seems like they don't enjoy being parents at all, like they feel like they should have waited and that it's so hard and they are missing out on life and it's sad because it seems like they aren't enjoying their kids (and then i feel bad for their kids) and it scares me b/c i don't ever want to be that person (and unfortunately my Mom kind of made my sister and i feel that way, like we were burdens to her) and i never want my kids to feel that way and i never want to feel that...but then there are people like you, my SIL especially and friends who say having chldren is the best thing in the world

long story short - i think that is where a lot of my "fear" comes from...i want to be the mom who enjoys her children and life not the one who is burdened by her family...god, i don't think i could ever feel that way- the first vacation i went on was my Honeymoon b/c I didn't want to leave my dog! i love a dog enough to sacrifice years of vacationing! hahaha!

Message edited 5/18/2010 5:56:15 PM.

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

I know what you mean. There is so much we still want to do. Going to Italy is one of them. We know that if we have a baby now, we probably wont be able to go until our kids are grown. I will spend time with kids and be like "ugh they are so annoying and cramp my style". Then the next week, I'm like "oh I want one".

I'm totally not looking forward to losing my hot tight body, but the celebrities bounce back, so I can too, right? All of the women in my family get really huge asses after they have kids and it never goes back. DH is going to be ******!

But, I'm not getting any younger so I need to start sometime. I'm older than you though.

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

Two years ago babies weren't even a thought. I knew one day I would want them but had no idea what it would feel like when I would. Soon I started having intermittent dreams, thoughts and pangs of motherhood. Gradually they grew more constant and stronger over the last two years. I feel a strong urge to be a mother and nuture, like its time for me. Of course I'd like to go on more vacations and we havent found a house yet but I know when comes it really won't matter. We are emotionally and financially ready.

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

I feel 100% the same. I was never ready because I didn't want to share DH, give up our luxurious vacations & my nice 25 y/o body! I can name a million reasons why we were waiting even though I want to be a Mom more then anything since I was a little girl.
When we got our puppy & saw DH rolling on the floor playing with him it started to tug @ our heart strings for a baby. We still wouldn't even have considered ttc but we started to talk about it in the future.
Then in March I unexpectedly got pregnant (pulling-out is definitely not effective birth control) When I took the test we were smiling so hard our cheeks hurt. We instantly were ready for a baby because we had to be. We were a little scared but mostly elated. We chose our names & talked about our baby non-stop. I started shopping etc. I had a miscarriage several weeks later & it was devastating. After the miscarriage everything changed & we realized how much we want a family & we are more ready then ever. I don't think your ever really ready until it actually happens. Besides God gives us 10 months to finish getting ready!!

Now we are justing waiting to emotionally heal from our loss so we can start trying again.

FYI- I got pregnant after being off Nuva ring for ONE month. From reading these boards I expected it to take months of charting, tempting, waiting etc. when we were ready. Don't be shocked if you get it you first try!! We are young & super fertile.

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

We both just kinda knew we were ready to TTC.

Before getting married we discussed DC's and how many we would have, when we would like to have them, etc. and we came to an understanding of what WE wanted together.

Ive always wanted children but never had the urge to go out and try and make a baby, until a few months ago. I discussed it with DH and he looked into my eyes and said, "Let's make a baby" apparently he was on the same page but both of us were scared to say it since we both agreed before marriage not to start this soon.

He is so involved its ridiculous sometimes. I sometimes walk in the room and catch him reading "What to Expect When Expecting" (even though we are not expecting yet, we like to be prepared for what we are getting in to). Just seeing how involved he is and how much he wants a family as much as I do makes me so happy I married this man, and even happier to raise a family with him.

So for my little bit of advice, you will never be 100% ready for baby. There will always be a house project, always a new country you want to go visit, and other things in life that will come up. For me, it was an urge that ive had for a few months now and isnt going away, but getting stronger

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

DH and I have always wanted to have a family, for us it was a matter of waiting until we were married (personal choice not everyone needs to be married to have a baby). We started ttc on our HM Here we are almost 8 months later, still trying!

Re: How did you know you were ready to TTC?

It's funny because I was never into having kids until I met DH.

We just feel like we're so madly in love we want to make something together..

How did we know we were ready?

For starters-we both have already gotten to where we want to be in our careers (professionally and financially) and are comfortable within our fields.

We are 31 and (almost) 35, we have traveled and experienced so many wonderful things...that if it all had to come to a stop because of kids, we would be fine (and never wondering "what if")..

We both own properties already, so financially we're stable and have been homeowners for a few years..

We have amazing support and loving families (will help out with babysitting too!)

We both live super healthy lifestyles-

Basically together we feel emotionally, spiritually, and financially ready for such a life changing responsibility.