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Ladybug63
Ohh... baby
Member since 5/06 2527 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
I would go down in person!!
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Posted 7/11/07 12:01 PM  |
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usuk2004
I'm ONE!
Member since 5/05 5150 total posts
Name:
Farah
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by cpanyc
Technically, to be a Catholic in good standing, you are supposed to attend mass every week. If the priest were to write a letter that you were in good standing, he would be lying. Sorry you are upset.
And you know, that's fair enough...but if he had explained that to her without being condescending about it, it would've been, well, the Christian thing to do, woudln't it???? 
I have had quite a few issues with the church recently - first my own parish not allowing us to marry there because we wouldnt be engaged for a full 6 months before we were getting married, then my nephew being made an example of in the Deacon's very political anti-abortion speech during his baptism.
Today the Pope just said that the Anglican and Protestant faiths aren't real churches.
the RC church will be its own downfall.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:02 PM |
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mka06
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 1079 total posts
Name:
Melis
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
sorry you are upset. that is a bad situation.
honestly, i think a lot of this varies from priest to priest. i got a certificate to be a godmother for my two nephews from the church i grew up in. i was never even asked that question.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:05 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
omg youve got to be kidding me! that is ludacris! how can they deny that?
imo most priests/ministers etc are always dycks for soem reason. sounds like this guy is no exception.
i am so sorry for you and i think you have every right to be livid.
i have no advice to you but i am really sorry you are goig thru that. that is so ridiculous. what does the babys mother say about that?
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:05 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
BTW, DH called his old church and they said it would be no problem for me to get a letter from them as long as we register with their parish. (Somehow I'm thinking registering involves a donation)
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:07 PM |
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mtnmama
Member since 5/06 4794 total posts
Name:
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Message edited 7/7/2009 9:20:19 AM.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:07 PM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
OMG, so absurd!!! 
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:08 PM |
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sami
So very blessed!! Thank u !!
Member since 8/06 6524 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
WOW that is crazy!
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:09 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by cpanyc
Posted by usuk2004
Posted by cpanyc
Technically, to be a Catholic in good standing, you are supposed to attend mass every week. If the priest were to write a letter that you were in good standing, he would be lying. Sorry you are upset.
And you know, that's fair enough...but if he had explained that to her without being condescending about it, it would've been, well, the Christian thing to do, woudln't it????
He suggested she start going to mass, I don't see that as condescending. Suggesting that someone go to church is actually a very Christian thing 
i still think that is ridiculous. he KNOWS her all her life. he knows she is a practising catholic, she is not some stranger off the street. i think they way he said it was very rude.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:09 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
also, this may be alittle off topic here BUT
i am my brothers "godmother". i do NOT go to church & i do NOT practise religion.
in fact, i was baptised catholic and my brother was baptised Episcalion (sp?)
they let ME be his godmother (i knwo its a differnt religion) so i find it ridiculous.
i dont even call me being his "godmother" since i dont believe in god really. i call me his "earthmother"
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:11 PM |
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Jessee
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1260 total posts
Name:
Jessee
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
I'm not surprised at all. I would be mad too.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:12 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by cpanyc
He suggested she start going to mass, I don't see that as condescending. Suggesting that someone go to church is actually a very Christian thing
I was a practicing Catholic in his eyes when it was time to Baptize my son and he had JUST become the Pastor of this church and he hadn't seen me in years... apparently it was ok to let it slide then...
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:13 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
What a great Christian HE is, telling you that you should have lied!! And they wonder why people are leaving the Catholic church in droves!! 
Posted by usuk2004
the RC church will be its own downfall.
I soooooo agree with this.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:15 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
so lieing to a priest is okay?? 
makes perfect sense.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:15 PM |
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alisonggg
Cutie
Member since 3/06 4749 total posts
Name:
a
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
I know exactly how you feel!!! I was a very involved Catholic growing up and it was very important to me to get married in a Catholic Church. When it came time to begin the process I refused to lie about already living with DH (fiance at that time) and he basically told me I had to move out to get married in the Church that I had been attending all of my life. I hung up the phone and never called or went back to that particular Church. I had a family member tell me that the Priest TOLD them to lie on the application so they could get married there....I too was LIVID
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:15 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by cpanyc
Technically, to be a Catholic in good standing, you are supposed to attend mass every week. If the priest were to write a letter that you were in good standing, he would be lying. Sorry you are upset.
So by him suggesting that SHE lie, that's better?
So by going to church every Sunday and filling out your little envelope to make sure your donation is recognized, that qualifies you as a good Catholic?
The only person she needs to be in good "standing" with is herself and God, coming from a religious standpoint.
And these days, a little rule bending by a priest should be the least of their worries.
ETA
Avocado, I think you are totally entitled to be upset, I would consider finding another church. It's sad, but I wouldn't put up with the BS that is going on.
Message edited 7/11/2007 12:22:53 PM.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:18 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by pmpkn087
I am not surprised. Some churches don't even require a letter of sponsorship.
I would tell the priest that you are switching churches and they should not expect your donations any longer. Maybe that will change his mind.
I agree! Tell him you won't be making any more donations and are switching parishes! (ETA - This isn't because he denied you the letter, but because of his attitude and telling you to lie...)
I am a godmother and never needed a letter, though...
Message edited 7/11/2007 12:24:08 PM.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:21 PM |
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usuk2004
I'm ONE!
Member since 5/05 5150 total posts
Name:
Farah
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by cpanyc
Posted by usuk2004
And you know, that's fair enough...but if he had explained that to her without being condescending about it, it would've been, well, the Christian thing to do, woudln't it????
He suggested she start going to mass, I don't see that as condescending. Suggesting that someone go to church is actually a very Christian thing
She said he was smug:
Posted by BabyAvocado
At one point the priest actually said to me with a smug chuckle "well, start coming to Mass and maybe we can talk."
The Catholic Church has rules - and while I don't agree with all of them, I totally understand that. But it's the attitude that BabyAVocado encountered here and that I've seen recently as well that is most off-putting. He could've just as easily said to her I know you've been coming here a long time, but by writing that letter for you I am saying you are a praciticing Catholic in good standing, meaning you attend church on a regular basis. If I wrote that letter for you, I wouldn't be telling the complete truth.
And that - for me at least - would've been a lot easier to swallow.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:21 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by alisonggg
I know exactly how you feel!!! I was a very involved Catholic growing up and it was very important to me to get married in a Catholic Church. When it came time to begin the process I refused to lie about already living with DH (fiance at that time) and he basically told me I had to move out to get married in the Church that I had been attending all of my life. I hung up the phone and never called or went back to that particular Church. I had a family member tell me that the Priest TOLD them to lie on the application so they could get married there....I too was LIVID
Not for nothing, but the fact that you're living together is NOT grounds for the church to refuse to marry you. Sorry you got a strict priest. Yes, they'll all ask you move out and can personally refuse to do the ceremony -- but it's not grounds for the Church to refuse to marry you.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:22 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by curliegirl
And think these days, a little rule bending by a priest should be the least of their worries.
Exactly.
On the topic of rule bending by priests...here's another cute one. My mother cannot be a sponsor for her nephew because she is not married by Church (she is married by law and had her Church marriage annulled by the Catholic Church - something that is very difficult to do). BUT it is ok that the parents of the same child to be baptized are not married because - again, according to [a different priest now, different church] them "that sin is forgiven for THAT day"
Have you ever heard of such a thing? Oh so now God forgives for a day to recruit new followers but then takes it back??? Real cute.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:23 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Also, if the other godparent is Catholic, you don't even have to worry about the letter. Both godparents don't need to be Catholic - only one.
My niece is Catholic. Her godfather is Catholic and her godmother is not.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:25 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by Kara
Posted by alisonggg
I know exactly how you feel!!! I was a very involved Catholic growing up and it was very important to me to get married in a Catholic Church. When it came time to begin the process I refused to lie about already living with DH (fiance at that time) and he basically told me I had to move out to get married in the Church that I had been attending all of my life. I hung up the phone and never called or went back to that particular Church. I had a family member tell me that the Priest TOLD them to lie on the application so they could get married there....I too was LIVID
Not for nothing, but the fact that you're living together is NOT grounds for the church to refuse to marry you. Sorry you got a strict priest. Yes, they'll all ask you move out and can personally refuse to do the ceremony -- but it's not grounds for the Church to refuse to marry you.
Actually it is. By living together before marriage you are providing the priest with the assumption that you have had sex before marriage, that is grounds enough for a priest not to marry you. They don't have to have a "by the book" reason, they only have to have reason in their head why they feel you shouldn't be married.
My priest was very laid back, and that was his choice. He was firm about some things and lenient about others. He also asked that we begin to attend church regularly, because I was honest and said we hadn't.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:27 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
who is in charge of making the rules? Where's the rule book?
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:28 PM |
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Maathy317
Grammie's Little Man
Member since 2/06 3235 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
I can understand your disgust. I would be as well. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do. Each church is an entity unto itself and governs by its own rules. While there are universal codes the churches abide by, each one is run according to what the pastor deems appropriate. You could write a letter to the Bishop, but, it will not do any good. You could, and should, leave, but, it will not have any impact on this parish, financial or othewise. I've worked (volunteer) in my local parish for 16 years and I've seen it all. I did everything I could do and gave everything I could give and when I needed my pastor to stand by me, he turned his back. What happened to you doesn't surprise me. It doesn't matter how much you do or how much you give. IMO, the majority of pastors are a selfish, arrogant group of hypocrites who wield their power like a club.
You should leave and register in another parish. When you do, they will contact your current parish for a letter of transfer. It will give you some satisfaction to let them know that you are gone. Then, get what you need from your new parish. Hopefuly, your new parish will be more liberal. Just in case they are not, lie through your teeth to get what you want.
FYI, I am a life-long Catholic who attends Mass daily. I go because I choose to. However, I wouldn't drop another dime in a collection plate or volunteer for anything. Any money I give goes in the Poor Box. I hope everything works out for you.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:29 PM |
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usuk2004
I'm ONE!
Member since 5/05 5150 total posts
Name:
Farah
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Just to restore a little faith here -
As I said before, my own parish refused to marry us because the diocese required us to be engaged for a minimum of 6 months before getting married.
I spoke with the deacon who married my brother and his wife and even though neither myself nor my DH were even members of his parish, he welcomed us with open arms. He's a retired cop and he said he spent all of his professional life seeing horrible things happen. Now that he has a chance to make good things happen, why would he not? I thought that was such a beautiful sentiment  There are good people associated with the church out there!
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:29 PM |
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