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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by Blu-ize
who is in charge of making the rules? Where's the rule book?
Well...I think in this case it's the Diocese of Rockville Center (which everyone knows has been corrupt for YEARS)... but it seems that every Church picks and chooses how they enforce these "rules" and whether or not they even choose to follow some of them... evidently consistency is not in the Bible... but then again... neither is a rule that says you have to go to Church every Sunday...
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Posted 7/11/07 12:32 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by BabyAvocado
Posted by Blu-ize
who is in charge of making the rules? Where's the rule book?
Well...I think in this case it's the Diocese of Rockville Center (which everyone knows has been corrupt for YEARS)... but it seems that every Church picks and chooses how they enforce these "rules" and whether or not they even choose to follow some of them... evidently consistency is not in the Bible... but then again... neither is a rule that says you have to go to Church every Sunday...
Find a church that would suit your needs. How are you supposed to follow the rules when the rules are always changing?
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:34 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
There are good people associated with the church out there!
I totally agree. My parents parish upstate, where I got married, never asked for a specific "required donation", just what we could afford to give. They let me decorate my church however I liked, he even let me play "This Will Be" by Natalie Cole for my recessional, and even waived the rental fee for their hall for my rehearsal dinner because my family is so good to his church.
He had a few regulations and requests, and I gladly obliged.
They are a tight-knit parish and I know whatever I need, my priest will stand by me. He has even offered to baptize our child when he/she is born.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:35 PM |
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Maathy317
Grammie's Little Man
Member since 2/06 3235 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by BabyAvocado
Posted by Blu-ize
who is in charge of making the rules? Where's the rule book?
Well...I think in this case it's the Diocese of Rockville Center (which everyone knows has been corrupt for YEARS)... but it seems that every Church picks and chooses how they enforce these "rules" and whether or not they even choose to follow some of them... evidently consistency is not in the Bible... but then again... neither is a rule that says you have to go to Church every Sunday...
Actually, according to the Catechism of the Catholic Church ( I'm such a geek that I have a copy), one need only attend mass once a week. It does not state that the day be Sunday.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:35 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by Blu-ize
Posted by BabyAvocado
Posted by Blu-ize
who is in charge of making the rules? Where's the rule book?
Well...I think in this case it's the Diocese of Rockville Center (which everyone knows has been corrupt for YEARS)... but it seems that every Church picks and chooses how they enforce these "rules" and whether or not they even choose to follow some of them... evidently consistency is not in the Bible... but then again... neither is a rule that says you have to go to Church every Sunday...
Find a church that would suit your needs. How are you supposed to follow the rules when the rules are always changing?
Finding a church that meets your needs is key. Thier rules generally don't change, unless a new pastor changes things.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:36 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
try not to let one man deter you from practicing your faith - you can find a parish that suits you . . .
my parish is wonderful but I am in Queens - good luck!
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:48 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
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They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by curliegirl
Posted by Kara
Posted by alisonggg
I know exactly how you feel!!! I was a very involved Catholic growing up and it was very important to me to get married in a Catholic Church. When it came time to begin the process I refused to lie about already living with DH (fiance at that time) and he basically told me I had to move out to get married in the Church that I had been attending all of my life. I hung up the phone and never called or went back to that particular Church. I had a family member tell me that the Priest TOLD them to lie on the application so they could get married there....I too was LIVID
Not for nothing, but the fact that you're living together is NOT grounds for the church to refuse to marry you. Sorry you got a strict priest. Yes, they'll all ask you move out and can personally refuse to do the ceremony -- but it's not grounds for the Church to refuse to marry you.
Actually it is. By living together before marriage you are providing the priest with the assumption that you have had sex before marriage, that is grounds enough for a priest not to marry you. They don't have to have a "by the book" reason, they only have to have reason in their head why they feel you shouldn't be married.
My priest was very laid back, and that was his choice. He was firm about some things and lenient about others. He also asked that we begin to attend church regularly, because I was honest and said we hadn't.
I think we're actually saying the same thing in different ways.  As I said in my post, yes, the priest can personally refuse to marry you. HOWEVER, cohabitation is not a reason for the CHURCH to refuse to marry you, so he's not mandated to refuse to marry you. I did tons of reserach on this when we got engaged. 
ETA - And premarital sex is not a reason for the church to refuse to marry you either. If it were, no pregnant women or women who had children before they were married could be married in the church -- and that happens all the time. Yes, they ask you to stop and go to confession... but the fact that it happened is not a reason to refuse to marry you.
A priest can refuse personally for any reason, but it's not because the church mandates that he refuse. That's all I was trying to say.
Message edited 7/11/2007 12:58:59 PM.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:52 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by BabyAvocado
Posted by curliegirl
And think these days, a little rule bending by a priest should be the least of their worries.
Exactly.
On the topic of rule bending by priests...here's another cute one. My mother cannot be a sponsor for her nephew because she is not married by Church (she is married by law and had her Church marriage annulled by the Catholic Church - something that is very difficult to do). BUT it is ok that the parents of the same child to be baptized are not married because - again, according to [a different priest now, different church] them "that sin is forgiven for THAT day" 
Have you ever heard of such a thing? Oh so now God forgives for a day to recruit new followers but then takes it back??? Real cute.
well actually - godparents must follow much stricter guidelines than the parents. . .the fact that the parents want to bring their child into the faith is all that the church needs - BUT - it is the responsibility of the GODPARENTS to guide the child through his or her entire life in the faith - that is why they are often held to higher standards.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:53 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
I think hypocrisy runs rampant in any religion - including the Catholic church.
Sandra -
write a letter to Bishop Murphy. Someone close to me had a problem getting an annulment & a well worded letter did the trick.
I realize you're getting the letter from DH's parish but he should be made aware of the situation.
etd.
Most Reverend William Murphy
Bishop of Rockville Centre
Diocese of Rockville Centre
PO Box 9023
Rockville Centre, NY 11571
Salutation should be : Your Excellency
Message edited 7/11/2007 1:02:52 PM.
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| Posted 7/11/07 12:59 PM |
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alisonggg
Cutie
Member since 3/06 4749 total posts
Name:
a
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by Kara
. Sorry you got a strict priest. Yes, they'll all ask you move out and can personally refuse to do the ceremony -- but it's not grounds for the Church to refuse to marry you.
Thats why I now attend a different church.... I know that it was this specific priest's decision... I now am at a Church that I am much happier with
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| Posted 7/11/07 1:01 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
 That is horrible!
When we were being interviewed for DSs Christening, my heart started racing when the "Do you attend church every Sunday?" question came up.
Thank Goodness the priest was AWESOME and said "Please try and come to family mass" and he went on and on about it.
I am so sorry this happened. That is just not right.
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| Posted 7/11/07 1:02 PM |
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mtnmama
Member since 5/06 4794 total posts
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Message edited 7/7/2009 9:19:54 AM.
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| Posted 7/11/07 1:23 PM |
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
We had to get a letter from the church for my nephew. Go to the rectory on a sunday right after mass. I think the priest on duty will just assume you went. They didn't even look up to see if we were registered in the parish.
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| Posted 7/11/07 1:28 PM |
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chelle
It's a Good Life
Member since 8/06 15404 total posts
Name:
Isn't it obvious?
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by pmpkn087
I would tell the priest that you are switching churches and they should not expect your donations any longer. Maybe that will change his mind.
I was just going to suggest this... try witholding any donations and I gaurantee when you stop giving them money they'll give you what you want!!
That is horrible! I would have yelled at the priest!!
Tell him maybe he should get a handle on his "fellow brothers of the cloth" from touching young children and maybe you'll start going to church again.
Message edited 7/11/2007 1:38:35 PM.
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| Posted 7/11/07 1:37 PM |
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BigB
C & J are 10!
Member since 6/05 5914 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by Kara
Also, if the other godparent is Catholic, you don't even have to worry about the letter. Both godparents don't need to be Catholic - only one.
My niece is Catholic. Her godfather is Catholic and her godmother is not.
This also varies from church to church and priest to priest. My family priest would never baptize a child knowing that one of the Godparents was not Christian (all denominations are fine)
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| Posted 7/11/07 1:47 PM |
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PotofLuck06
Our Baby Boy Is Here!!!
Member since 11/06 13241 total posts
Name:
Betsy
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
WOW! That's just horrible!
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| Posted 7/11/07 1:50 PM |
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codybear
Our Family is Complete!
Member since 11/06 2064 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
I think this is terrible, but I am honestly not surprised at all. This is the reason I am a believer in much of the religon but not the "establishment" of the church.
Now if you want to get your letter, I bet if you went to church this Sunday, put a sizable donation with your name on it in the basket and called again next week then you'd have your letter.
Understandably you probably won't want to do that, but 1) I'd bet it will work and 2) it will confirm what we are all thinking here about it being all about the money.
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| Posted 7/11/07 1:51 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by BabyAvocado
ILIE to Catholic Church if you need something from them (Baptism, Marriage, Sponsorhip, etc). Nice Christian lesson there.
I am SO DISGUSTED right now.
That sucks, now what do you do???
OMG. That is horrible.
Message edited 8/4/2007 3:11:48 AM.
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| Posted 7/11/07 2:05 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by nrthshgrl
I think hypocrisy runs rampant in any religion - including the Catholic church.
Sandra -
write a letter to Bishop Murphy. Someone close to me had a problem getting an annulment & a well worded letter did the trick.
I realize you're getting the letter from DH's parish but he should be made aware of the situation.
etd.
Most Reverend William Murphy
Bishop of Rockville Centre
Diocese of Rockville Centre
PO Box 9023
Rockville Centre, NY 11571
Salutation should be : Your Excellency
Thank you for that - I will DEFINITELY be writing a letter or two even if I will have to make someone else type out the words "your excellency".
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| Posted 7/11/07 2:06 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by BabyAvocado
Posted by nrthshgrl
I think hypocrisy runs rampant in any religion - including the Catholic church.
Sandra -
write a letter to Bishop Murphy. Someone close to me had a problem getting an annulment & a well worded letter did the trick.
I realize you're getting the letter from DH's parish but he should be made aware of the situation.
etd.
Most Reverend William Murphy
Bishop of Rockville Centre
Diocese of Rockville Centre
PO Box 9023
Rockville Centre, NY 11571
Salutation should be : Your Excellency
Thank you for that - I will DEFINITELY be writing a letter or two even if I will have to make someone else type out the words "your excellency".
Your excellency?
Message edited 7/11/2007 2:12:38 PM.
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| Posted 7/11/07 2:12 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by BabyAvocado
The funny thing is, this is the SAME priest who set up Jake's baptism and let us slide on taking the day long course BECAUSE he knew me from Catholic school and knew that I was "practicing Catholic".
So it was ok to let THAT slide... what a hypocrite.
This is my biggest problem with this - he is a hypocrite and it sounds like he gets off on wielding his power.
As far as registering at another parish, Sandra, it shouldn't involve a donation. I have done it twice and generally, they just want your name and address. They add you to the mailing list and they will send you donation envelopes for Sunday Mass, whether you use them or not is up to you.
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| Posted 7/11/07 2:13 PM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
BabyAvocado has listed the main reasons why I have become a "lapsed" catholic.
I see the Methodist and Presbyterian churches near my house having community parties and events to raise $, not asking for handouts. I would like to belong to a loving, Christian community, not be chastised for not attending mass all the time. If God hears us, then he knows I pray all the time.
I can go on but I will leave it at that.... 
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| Posted 7/11/07 2:14 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by cpanyc
It's a commandment - Keep the Sabbath holy
Yes, and attending Mass in a physical building called a Church every Sunday is certainly one way of keeping it holy.
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| Posted 7/11/07 2:15 PM |
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alnem
This is gonna be a good year!
Member since 2/06 9562 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by Stefanie
Posted by SIBride06
Thats pretty low. Totally unbelievable.
I'm Catholic- Im not offended by your post, Im totally discusted by this whole situation.
ITA....
ITA as well. my faith in God and my faith in the Church system are entirely 2 different entities. i do go to Church every Sunday, but i donate what i can and not what they "require". so sorry this is happening to you! 
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| Posted 7/11/07 2:18 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: I am SO MAD now I am ready to change religions - warning: if you are Catholic you may be offended
Posted by CaseyGirl
BabyAvocado has listed the main reasons why I have become a "lapsed" catholic.
I see the Methodist and Presbyterian churches near my house having community parties and events to raise $, not asking for handouts. I would like to belong to a loving, Christian community, not be chastised for not attending mass all the time. If God hears us, then he knows I pray all the time.
I can go on but I will leave it at that....
Don't they also take up collections at mass? A collection isn't unique to the Catholic faith. 
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| Posted 7/11/07 2:19 PM |
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