I can't believe this is happening.....CRAZY UPDATE!!!

I thought I was in the clear at this stage. I'm almost 32 weeks...things have been perfect. All my tests came back great, i've been feeling fantastic. I went to the doctor the other day and they mentioned the babies kidneys are dilated. They said it was nothing to worry about, but sent me to Stonybrook to have a sono because they have a better machine. I had a nightmare of a doctor at Stonybrook. She spoke hardly any English (I could hardly understand her). She started asking me questions after my sono in the HALLWAY. She didn't even wait till I sat down in her office. Now I thought things were fine because the sono tech said that things looked fine and the kidneys weren't even dilated that much. The doctor begins to question me about where I had my 16 week downs test, what it came back as (I didn't know numbers I was just told it was fine). She didn't understand why I didn't have it at her office (she's not my doctor i'm just here for a sono bc of your machine).....she kept asking me all these downs syndrome questions and then when I would ask her things about it she would say things like "well you can get in a car accident later" anything is possible....that's NOT what I want to hear right now. These kidneys weren't dilated at my level 2 and if downs syndrome was an issue don't you think there would be other markers too?

Now I am freaking out, I left a message with my doctor to call me back.

Now here is the real problem:

DH and I were completely against finding out the sex of our twins. People have been begging us and we were so content without knowing.

When I got into this womans office she had her computer screen open and it said in HUGE letters all my info..my name...date of birth bla bla....then it said

PATIENT DOES NOT WANT TO KNOW SEX OF BABIES....
BOTH ARE__________!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!
AFTER ALL THIS TIME I'M SO NEAR THE END
AND NOW I KNOW....DH IS SO MAD HE TOLD ME NOT
TO TELL HIM. MY MOM AND MY BROTHERS GF KNOW, THEY WERE WITH ME AT THE DOCTOR.
DO I JUST PRETEND I DON'T KNOW...I
DON'T THINK THAT I CAN DO THAT UGHHHHHHH


ALL I CAN DO IS JUST CRY BECAUSE I AM SO UPSET.





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I am seriously writing a letter tomorrow to Stonybrook. This nasty doctor thought I was 20 weeks pregnant! She didn't even look at my specifics before she spoke with me. Markers for downs become really apparent at that time so thats why she was so concerned. Thanks a lot lady for getting me all crazed and upset. My doctor spoke with her and couldn't believe she didn't even take the time to see how far along I was. Now that I am almost 32 weeks it's probably just backed up urine and will clear on it's own. The woman also said that the dilation is "borderline normal"....so hardly dialted at all. Don't you think she should have told ME this!?!?!?!?!??!?!

Message edited 10/3/2008 2:14:14 PM.

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....

I am so sorry you have to go through all of this.

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....

Oh I am sorry they were so careless with the baby's information.

As for the kidney issue, one of DHs cousin recently had a baby and around the same time was told the same thing. Her baby had additional testing in utero, and more once he was born, and he is OK.

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....

Oh I am so sorry you are giong through this!!!

I hope your Doctor calls you back soon. I would think that if all your tests came back normal for downs and the kidneys were fine during your level II that the dialtion occured afterwards. My husbands firends son was bron with dilate kindeys and he is a super smart, super active 16 month old!

I wouldn't think too much about what the new Dr. said. SHe may not really know your whole history, even though the chart is in front of her and with a language barrier who knows what she understood or if she expressed herself correctly.

As for teh sex of the babies, try and put it on teh back burner for a few days until you talk to your MD etc and then talk to your DH about it and see if he wants to know now that you do!

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....

None of this sounds right-I would be ticked that they didn't respect your wishes about the gender of the babies. There is nothing you can do about it now-I just don't know how you are going to keep it from your DH, I'm so sorry

As for the other stuff, I would make an appt to see your normal dr asap to discuss. This other Dr. sounds like a lunatic.

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....

I am sorry you are going through this. Just try and think positive

Its very inconsiderate and irresponsible that they let you see the sex of the babies, but its ok. Its still amazing and so special. Don't let that get you down.

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....

first of all i would have ripped that doctor a new one!!!!

i am so so sorry you have to deal with this now but it seems like your babies are fine.

and cry it out! dont feel like you have to hold it together. you have every right to be upset with what happened. i am sorry sweetie

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....

OMG, I am so sorry this is happening! First of all, the dr sounds like an idiot. I don't like the way she dealt with you at all. Second of all, I would bet the markers mean NOTHING, as most of the people on this board who had markers they were nothing. You need to speak to your dr about this WHOLE situation.

And about you finding out the sex, I am so sorry that was ruined for you!!! To go this far and then find out, how frustrating. I don't know what else to say but I am so sorry!

Message edited 10/3/2008 1:18:51 PM.

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....

I'm so sorry you had such a bad day .....Some people should just NOT be doctors, ESPECIALLY OBGYNs !!

1. - Wait to speak to your OWN doctor before making yourseld sick (easier sais than done, I'm sure)
The sono techs can usually read the screens better thant he doctors can, so keep reminding yourself of his/her reaction re: "everything looks fine"
2. The second doctor knows NOTHING about you, nothing about your pregnancy, previous testing etc - All she knows is what she sees from ONE sonogram and like you said, where are all of the other markers for downs IF that is her concern? -

As for seeing her computer screen re: the sex ........that is disappointing and I'm sorry you saw it. It sucks, but if your DH doesn't want to know, try your best to keep it to yourself.

At least you'll get to see the excitiment and shock on HIS face when they annouce the babies sex when they are born - I know it won't be the same, but at least to some extent you'll be able to enjoy the excitment and surprise through HIS eyes.

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....

I am so sorry! That is horrible, what a witch

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....

im so sorry you are going through this.............

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....

I am so sorry that you had to deal with that. I hope you said something to her about the sex of the babies being on the screen, so that in the future she thinks twice and does not ruin it for other moms.

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....

Wow, I can't believe that. How unprofessional. Did you go to Stony Brook for your level II? I had such a good experience there.
You go to CWC right? I am sure they will call you back very soon, they are always good with that.
Don't panic, I don't understand why the SB doctor was even asking you about Down Syndrome. Wait for your dr. to call you back and I am sure things will seem clearer.

I am sorry you found out the sexes of your babies. How uspetting that must have been when I know you wanted to wait.

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....

UGGGHHH that stinks, I'm so sorry she ruined it for you

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....

My sister went through something very similar with her baby boy...doctor said he thought the baby had some sort of a kidney issue. Turned out he didnt and he's now a happy healthy ACTIVE 2 year old.

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....

I'm really sorry. Like every one said try not to freak out until you talk to your Dr. The SB doctor sounds like an idiot.

Be sure to tell your Dr. this whole story so that they know what they are getting their patients into when they send them to StonyBrook. An angry phone call from them is probably going to get a lot more attention than one from you. ALthough I might wait until after you speak to you Dr. and write a letter to the director at StonyBrook. and cc your Doctor too. How you were treated is absolutely unacceptable!

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....

i am really so sorry that your moment was ruined...as someone who is not finding out i would be livid, on top of having to deal with such a horrible witch! many many sweetie!

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....CRAZY UPDATE!!!

unbelievable!!! whatever happened to reading the chart BEFORE treating the patient???

i hope you write that letter, she needs to be disciplined formally

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....CRAZY UPDATE!!!

one word: unbelievable. someone should relieve her of her duties. how does a DOCTOR not even take the SECONDS to see how far along you are, your EDD, etc. unbelievable!! what kind of care is she providing!??!

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....CRAZY UPDATE!!!

I am so sorry you had to go through this!

I found out the sex of my baby days before I delivered. My Dr slipped then tried to cover it. The funny part is if she hadn't of tried to cover it I wouldn't have noticed I was talking to her about having a c-section and my mind was spinning so I barely heard her say the word "son"

Anyway, I never told DH and I just pretended not to know. I also convincced myself that maybe she was wrong....Either way, it didnt take away from the moment of hearing "its a boy" one bit.

Personally I think that if you say you don't want to know the sex of the baby, they shoudl NOT mark it in your chart.

Message edited 10/3/2008 2:25:49 PM.

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....CRAZY UPDATE!!!

You definitely need to report her to the main doctors there. That is unacceptable.

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....CRAZY UPDATE!!!

OMG!!!!!!!!!1 Thank god its ok, def report her!!!!!!!!!

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....CRAZY UPDATE!!!

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....CRAZY UPDATE!!!

Thank GOD everything turned out ok

But I don't blame you for being FURIOUS!!!!! Definitelty write a letter!

I'm so sorry the suprise of the sex of your babies was ruined for you...that's really unfair.

Re: I can't believe this is happening.....CRAZY UPDATE!!!

Yes, this behavior cannot be tolerated.

What incompetence!!!!

I am so sorry you had to go through that.