If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

How would you react to this being attached to an invite to a third birthday party??? This is coming from a mother of the three year old who is also 7 months pregnant.


Dear all
Pls find invite attached. I am a bit nervous about space so if at all
possible, would you be able to leave any smaller siblings at home with
partners - if not, I am sure we can squeeze one or two in. Sorry to be so
inhospitable to the little ones - there are just so many of us now (and the
numbers continue to grow)
Anyway hope you can come

love Nx

Let me add to this:
We are a large bunch of girls who all met at babygroup and babymassage in January 2006, in total there are 21 of us (I know this because its a pain making a dinner reservation for all of us) and we spend pretty much one day a week all together. We fall into smaller natural groups or 4-5, but we are all pretty close and we rely on each other for lots of stuff, support, child care, etc. There are quite a few of us (not including me who is definitely not pregnant, no way, not pregnant) who now have 2 kids, and its ALWAYS a more the merrier situation...

This is from the same girl who had a tenth anniversary party earlier this year and only invited 3 girls out of the group, didn't mention the party to the rest of the group, and I was pretty peeved as I thought we were better friends than that...

Anyway, I am not beeyotching because its her perogative to have as many people as she wants, I think its blunt and rude and if I had a little one, and a husband that worked weekends (which some of us do) I would be quite offended...

Message edited 11/23/2008 1:52:39 PM.

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

If my daughter was invited to a party for her friend and we did not know the parents well and my husband would want to stay home then I would just go with my 3 year old. If we knew them well I would bring both kids and they would have to deal or I would send my regrets.

I do think it is rude to write that on an invite though.

My opinion... don't host a party in your home if you can not fit everyone that you invite.

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

It is her prerogative!

BUT do not invite more people that you can fit in your house unless you only want your DC's friends so your child can receive as many presents as possible.

I have never seen anyone limiting space to 1 child and 1 parent.

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

I don't think it's that bad... I didn't know you were pregnant. Congratulations!!

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

Although I would never come out and say such a thing, sometimes I think it! I have a very small house and would like to invite as many people as possible, but I wouldn't want people to feel crammed either. I guess it's a catch 22

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

Okay - My DD is still young so we aren't going to many parties yet. I don't like the fact she put it in the invite - but I was thinking - to me I guess it wouldn't occur to me to bring a little one to a bday party unless the invite included them. Do people really bring all their kids to a party that their siblings are invited to?

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

Anh. I don't think it would upset me that much.

I think she is trying to cut off an awkward situation at the pass. And I also think since you guys all know each other from a Mommy group she had to put something in the invite as opposed to say, a pre school class, where people wouldn't think a younger sibling was invited, KWIM?

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

I would never assume a sibbling is invited unless the mother told me, so for me I actually find it odd that she even made the note.

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

She should've just invited fewer people, no ?
It's definitely a little odd, but maybe she got called on the prior party and decided to invite ALL the mommies to this one?
I don't know she sounds a little off, its a peculiar thing to put on an invite, given the nature of your association with each other as a mommies' group...
If DH could watch our other kid(s) it'd be fine, if he weren't available I'd have to decline...
It's still odd though !

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

I absoutely understand where you are coming from - - I would just ask myself - do you really enjoy having this girl as your friend? Do you enjoy each others company? Do the children get along together? If so you may want to make arrangements to attend with your one child.

If it were me - I would of invited fewer people and made it more intimate instead of sending an attachment with the invite disinviting other sibligs etc - I think thats just cheesy. My hubby also works Saturday and im a mom of two - if my other daughter isn't invited that Im sorry we can't come to your child's birthday - no hard feelings from me....thats just how it is for me.

Message edited 11/23/2008 3:57:39 PM.

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

I think it's something that should have been said verbally. The invite is for the person named on the envelope.

Parties run hundreds of dollars & an extra $20/per kid adds up quickly.
While I invite siblings at all of my kids' parties, I have never once brought a sibling unless they were specifically on the invite.

I think it's probably her delivery that's the problem more than the idea.

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

I would never bring a sibling, but according to my sister, who has older children, lots of people do it. I wouldn't really be too offended by it, but I tend not to be too sensitive to this sort of stuff. I'd rather it be clear that I am not supposed to bring the other sibling than show up thinking it would be OK and then be embarrassed.

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

Wait is this from who I think it is?
Well for the time being it doesn't affect you I guess but she's the mayor of tact Rachel.

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

Usually you are inviting close friends to stuff like that so for me I would never think to say something like that but if that's what she wants. Unfortunately for someone like myself with two kids I wouldn't be able to attend because I don't have anyone to watch my kids. It would make me (personally) feel bad.

Since it's a party for a three year old an for someone that belongs to a mothers group, I would think that both kids were invite (if they are both small).

But again, it's her house - so.

Message edited 11/23/2008 10:10:27 PM.

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

Well, I personally think there is nothing more rude than bringing along uninvited siblings. We had one at DS's halloween party. A party for 8 and 9 year olds and the woman brought her 3 year old. Fortunately they didn't stay since the girl was scared.

So while her delivery was a bit odd, I certainly don't think the request was abnormal or out of line.

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

I would agree with that only the child that is friends with the birthday child would be invited.

BUT knowing this person id it's who I think it is, in her head she probably think she's doing this the right way instead of sending an invitation to the child, knowing that a parent would be accompanying the invited child.

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...

I thought about that when I had DS birthday party, but I would have never pur it in the invitation.

Most of Nicholas' friends came to the party with their little sibblings and I was expecting that, for that reason we made the party in a bigger place. If I had hold the party in our place, I would have invited fewer people but never said to the parents not to bring one of their kids.

Re: If you are a mother of two, one toddler one infant...