If you moved far away from your family...

How far away do you live?

How often do you see them?

If you moved, why?

Do you regret it?


DH and I are seriously considering moving back to South Florida.

We just enjoyed ourselves so much when we were there in December-January. We miss living there. His parents would be willing to move down however my parents keep saying no, no no.

Plus if we move to Florida DH will be able to teach and I think life would be pretty good if we are both teachers.

(Money won't be a problem because MIL will buying us a house)

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

we didnt move very far- but we moved to NJ from LI.
we dont see our families that often- maybe 1x a month or every 2-3 months.

we moved for my job.

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

For 5 years I lived in the Carolinas--800 miles away from all my friends and family in NY.

I was by myself and younger, but it had its pros and cons. But in the end, I came back to NY because I met my now DH, and wanted to come back to start a relationship with him and be with my family again.

I remember all the things you were talking about with Florida, and I think that you and your DH should at the very least, try it! It sounds like life could be much easier down there, but you are afraid to leave your family since you worry about growing further apart with them. In the end, you have to worry about the family you created with your DH when you got married and do what is best for you guys. GOOD LUCK!


ETA: i was only able to see my family roughly 1 or 2x a year up here in NY, when I was living far away. It wasn't enough for me, but then again, I was single and had no relatives nearby

Message edited 1/13/2009 5:03:12 PM.

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

How far away do you live? 3000 miles.

How often do you see them? We go back to NY probably 2x/year for 2 weeks each time, and usually 1 other time/year for a long weekend. My parents (together) come about 1x/year - sometimes 2. My mom comes maybe 3x/year by herself. Siblings are a different story!

If you moved, why? We moved right after we had both finished grad school and got married... we figured if we ever wanted to do it, that would be the time!

Do you regret it? Nope. We love the lifestyle - and if our families were here, we'd never look back.

When we have kids, I am sure my parents will come here more often - and they are actually thinking of getting a place here (as a second home).

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

i moved to boston for law school and stayed but now that i want to have a family we are moving back to LI - if my family would move up here i would be staying but that is not possible

no place is perfect- everything has its pluses and minuses but you have to go where you and your immediate family will be happy

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

Moved to NJ....family lives in Queens. I see them I would say about every 1 - 2 months. They NEVER want to come to our house bc they "have to go over a bridge".

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

We live in NC. My mom has moved down, but my ILs and my father are still in NY.

I was fine when we first moved here, but now that we have the baby, it's much harder to be so far away from them. I know it breaks their hearts not to be here to see the baby as often as they want...

Do I regret it? Sometimes. But then I realize all that we have here. We live COMFORTABLY, which is something we would not have been able to do on LI.

My feeling is, if it's something you really want to do, do it. You'll always wonder if you don't. If you really can't stand it, you can always move back. I always remember that. Yes, we'd be out some money, but it would be an option to come back.

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

How far away do you live? Pretty far -- we live in Illinois and have family in FL, NY, MA, and GA

How often do you see them? Most of them we see 3-5 times/year. I see that decreasing though because we used to go back to NY 5+ times/year. We're not going back as much now that we have a house & flights have increased.

If you moved, why? DH got a promotion we could not pass up

Do you regret it? No. It was the best move for our family. We're sad that we don't see our family & close friends very much, and I wish we had more family support, but I'm not sure how much support we would have had anyway.

You have to do what feels right for your family. Good luck!

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

(as everyone and their mother knows) I moved to the UK in 1999 to be with my British husband, so its probably about 3000+ miles.

I see my parents probably about 4/5 times a year, twice I go to the states, usually LI once and Florida once, and they come to the UK to visit at least twice a year. They were here last year in April and again at Christmas. I moved because I really enjoyed the people and the lifestyle in the UK, its not for everyone but it suits me to a tee.

Do I regret it? Nope, 10 years on I feel that I have the best life that I possibly could have. Okay, I could work less, but I really enjoy the whole lifestyle here.

Message edited 1/13/2009 5:23:50 PM.

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

How far away do you live?

In the Carolinas, my family is in SI

How often do you see them?
they come down 2-3 times a year, I go up 3-4 times a year

If you moved, why?
Tired of commuting. Wanted to SAH with kids. DH is really into skiing, mountain biking. He loves it here. Myrtle Beach is 3 hours away, mountains are 2.

Do you regret it?

no, mission accomplished, I am home with my baby.

Is it easy? no way!

I have no one here. My mother harasses me constantly to move back.

My life would be soooooo different if my family was here. Well, even if I only had one family member here.

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

My sister moved from NY to Maryland with her DH. He got a great job down there. At first she hated it, but after time, really loves it. They are considering moving to South Carolina for another great job offer.

She used to come up 3-4 times a year. Now it's just once for Christmas. We used to go there 3-4 times a year. I haven't been there in 2 years because it is very boring there. Her daughter (15) flies up for a month in the summer to stay with my parents. Her sister has severe food allergies and decided to never visit w/o her parents. Her son is too young.

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

How far away do you live? 300 miles

How often do you see them? We go up 2-3 times, and MIL comes 1-2 times a year, my mom/step-dad like once every 3 years :P, and FIL/his wife every few years.

My dad lives like 20 mintues away :)

If you moved, why? I was born in VA, and always wanted to come back. I never really liked living on LI.

Do you regret it? Nope. I miss friends, family - especially SIL/BIL and DH's cousins, but overall, I'm very happy we live here Occasionally I think, "I want to move back" but then I go there, and it only takes about 3 hours to want to go back home.

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

How far away do you live? 10,000 miles away- Sydney, Australia

How often do you see them? Started out as twice a year, now it's going down to once a year- if I am lucky.

If you moved, why? DH is Australian and he was still in uni finishing up his law degree. We want to move to the UK or Europe and were supposed to after 2 years (it's been 3). He made it sound so easy to find a job overseas, and now NOTHING.

Do you regret it? Probably the wrong time in my life to ask this question, but yes I regret it- almost every day. Don't get me wrong, Australia is beautiful, but I am just so tired of it. Nice place to visit and live short time, but I don't like living here at all. The weather is so hot (I hate summer) and their "winter" isn't even a winter. I hate the bugs. I don't know when the last time was I saw a spider that was SMALLER than my hand. I am sick of the giant flying cockroaches. My DH's family is another story. I am not too crazy about the people.

Because it is so far away from my family the flight is $$$$ and we need at least a month to visit, since we only go home once a year. All our vacation time is used for that. My mom came once, but that's it. To be honest I don't blame people, $2000 for a flight is expensive and not everyone can afford it. Also half my family are afraid of flying. I could go on and on, but I won't.

There are good things, like the rate of pay is good, but on the other hand everything is much more expensive than NY. My job is pretty good and I have health care through the government. The food is pretty good, too.

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

We live in South FL and my family is in NY so it's about a 2.5 hr plane ride away (or 17 hour car ride).

We see my family very often actually. When we lived in NY we'd see my parents at least once a week if not more for dinner, on weekends, etc. We lived in the same town. Now obviously we don't see them that much, but they come down at least 4x/year and we go home at least 2x/year for a week each time. Plus my dad is now looking to buy a condo down here for when he visits and my mom is interested in moving down soon too!

We moved for the lower cost of living and because DH's family is down here. We wanted to try something new, the lease on our NY apartment was going way up and we always wanted to move to FL so when I lost my job the time was right and we just did it.

We don't regret it, but definitely miss NY (not the winters, though!). There are things about NY that you just can't get here like pizza & bagels, taking the train to NYC, skiing. But there are great things about FL that you can't get in NY like the weather, easy tropical vacations, brand new affordable homes, much less traffic, outdoor activities all year round, more relaxed lifestyle.

I'm glad we made the move b/c we'd always be wondering what it would have been like to live here. Who knows what the future will bring but we're happy here in FL at this point in our lives.

Good luck w/ your decision!

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

We live in Rochester and all but my sister live on LI.

We moved b/c DH got a job up here.

We go down to LI 2-3 times a year and we've had them visit once in a while (maybe 2x's a year)

I don't regret it (except all the snow we've been getting lately!). We're in a great position and things are much more affordable for us here.

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

How far away do you live?
We live in NC and our families live in NY.

How often do you see them?
Once a month! We're both very close to our families and our friends and we vowed to travel home as often as possible. On the months that we dont drive home, one set of family usually comes down to visit us.

If you moved, why?
DH is in the military and was stationned here.

Do you regret it?
Yes and no. This is his job and we had no choice -- it pays the bills and we're able to afford a house that we could never had afforded in NY. It's also been an experience that not everyone has and it's made us realize how much we love NY and that it's definately where we want to end up. So, in that sense, no, I dont regret it.

But we miss NY a lot and miss our family and friends. We miss out on a lot not being there with them. It's very difficult living somewhere where you know noone and have very little support. So, in that sense, yes, I regret it.


Good Luck with your decision!

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

We just moved to Colorado two weeks ago.
Not sure how often we will see our families but I know my inlaws will be visiting us in June and my mom in August. Hopefully we will get to see our families at lease twice a year.
We moved here because DH used to live here 15 years ago and has been wanting to move back since the first day I met him. So far I love Colorado and feel we made the right decision and it's more affordable than LI.

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

We moved to NC 1.5 years ago.

We see our family about 8 times a year (us going up there, them coming down here).

We don't regret it but it is tough-I'm used to Sunday dinners, etc. Being away from my brother is tough (he and SIL have a DD the same age as mine).

It's tough sometimes, but in other way life is easier. I don't spend 2+ hours commuting, I see my DD and DH more than I would if we lived on LI, we own a lovely home, life is financially easier (less pressure), etc.

I sometimes think "what if we moved back" but not usually.

You have to do what is right for your family-meaning you, your husband and kids. It's really hard

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

We live 3000 miles away from my Mom, Dad, sister and Grandma. We do manage to see each other about 6 times a year for extended visits.

It does make it harder having kids- I didn't really notice as much when it was just DH and I or when I was single.

Re: If you moved far away from your family...

It's funny that you should post this because this has been on my mind ever since I lost my job and to be honest - before that happened.

We live in NY and my DH's family is in Florida. I come from a VERY small family and my mom lives in Virginia. I have a brother who lives in CT but we aren't close and I rarely see him. DH grew up in Florida and said he was always bored even though he had a lot of friends. I think THAT is what keeps him from wanting to go back. Although I try and tell him you were younger then, and it may not be as boring anymore now that you have your own family etc. Unfortunately he has a career here (police officer) and I'm not sure he's willing to sacrifice his seniority/pay just yet. If it were up to me I'd want to move by the Summer - mainly because I'm sick of the Winters here, it's so expensive and I want our daughters to be in a warmer climate. I really think Florida would be a great move for us. Another reason, at least we would have his family - some is better than none. My BIL has been trying endlessly to get us to move - he drops hints all the time, but at this point it's really up to DH :(.

I imagine if we move to Florida my Mom would follow. I know I'd definitely want her to.

I don't know that I'd regret it...but there is a part of me that feels I won't. I know I'd miss certain things about NY, but I'd grow to love things about FL.

Good luck with your decision!