| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: [1] 2 3 |
ChrisDee
My Girls
Member since 11/06 9543 total posts
Name:
Christine
|
innapropriate outfit for recital***UPDATED W/PICTURE & LYRICS
PIC & LYRICS FURTHER DOWN IN POST***
Watching the video in LipGlossJunkies post, hit close to home. Here is my dilema....
Jordan(9) does Baton Twirling(for 4 years). She loves it and is awesome at it. This year the song for the upcoming recital is highly innapropriate. It is that 1-2-3 song by Brittney Spears. DH informed me it is about a threesome . He is soooo mad and mad at me for not rasing hell about it. Weare not allowed to watch practice so I did not even really know about it until it was too late(routine was already learned). So for weeks he has been so pissy. Well, last week at practice they tried on their costumes and . My girlfriend said I turned white when I saw them. They look like they should be on a POLE . It is a one piece pink and black leopard print booty short get up. With a black vinyl collar and belt. There is 3 rows of black tassels on the butt. They proceed to show us their routine and there is alot of booty shakin' to show off the butt tassels. I am pretty laid back, but I am freaking out cause I KNOW DH is gonna loose it. So, we come home and I made her put the costume away and I figure I will just deal with it the day of.  BUT, when he came home she ran and put it on . He tells her she looks pretty and tells her to change. INSERT FIGHT NOW! DH thinks I should have said and done something. The show is only a few weeks away, what can I do? She has worked so hard all year, I can not pull her.
So, what are your thoughts??? What should I have done or do???
ETA: I am certainly bothered by it and realize I need to make sure this does not happen again, but DH is furious.
*****************I asked Jordan to tell me about the song for her show and when she started singing it, she was singing the words VERY differently. I am now wondering if there is possibly a clean version of this song and they are using it. I guess I will have to tell the teacher that I want to sit in this wed and listen.
EDITED TO CLARIFY- She has been in it for four years and so far she has been the following
Year #1- cinderella type costume
song was Bippity Boppity Boo
Year #2- Hula Girl, song was from Lilo and
Stitch
Year #3- Cowgirl, song was Cotton Eye Joe
So, I was not overly concerned about finding out this years costume and song choice.
I JUST WANT TO ADD(YET AGAIN  )
OTHER THAN SOME BOOTY SHAKING IN THE BEGINNING OF THE ROUTINE, THE DANCING IS CLEAN.
ALSO IT IS DH WITH THE ISSUE HERE. I FEEL LIKE NOBODY WILL NOTICE WHAT THE SONG IS ABOUT AND I WAS UPSET ABOUT THE COSTUME BECAUSE I KNEW DH WOULD FREAK. I WAS WORRIED ABOUT HIM PULLING HER AND BREAKING HER HEART.
Message edited 5/9/2010 11:04:32 AM.
|
Posted 5/8/10 7:32 AM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
I have sons, but if I had a daughter and she came home with that outfit, DH would have the same reaction . I have no advice, just 
|
| Posted 5/8/10 7:38 AM |
| |
|
Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
Have you spoken to the other moms ?
What do they say ? Maybe you can suggest that they wear some black leggings underneath and remove the tassels....Also, the butt shaking part be taken out...
I took dance class for years...I know its not the same as baton twirling, but the parenst always got a sneak peak at the costumes before they were ordered..
If its that inappropriate ( which it sounds like it is), I'm sure you are not the only parent that is uncomfortable with it and would voice my concerns...
(the meaning of the song doesn't bother me "so" much, but maybe thats because I had no clue what it was about )
|
| Posted 5/8/10 7:54 AM |
| |
|
ChrisDee
My Girls
Member since 11/06 9543 total posts
Name:
Christine
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
Posted by Bops
Have you spoken to the other moms ?
What do they say ? Maybe you can suggest that they wear some black leggings underneath and remove the tassels....Also, the butt shaking part be taken out...
I took dance class for years...I know its not the same as baton twirling, but the parenst always got a sneak peak at the costumes before they were ordered..
If its that inappropriate ( which it sounds like it is), I'm sure you are not the only parent that is uncomfortable with it and would voice my concerns...
(the meaning of the song doesn't bother me "so" much, but maybe thats because I had no clue what it was about )
The other mom's were kinda rolling their eyes, but not too upset. Alot of people carpool, so many parents did not see. The teacher is VERY strict about the costume. NO changes. Certain color socks, shoes, hair a certain way, etc. I too, had NO CLUE what the song was about until DH pointed it out to me too
The 2 moms that I did speak too, were kinda laughing at me and saying it was kinda cute
Message edited 5/8/2010 7:59:31 AM.
|
| Posted 5/8/10 7:59 AM |
| |
|
Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
I think I agree with your DH. Sounds like you knew he would have a big problem with it, but you decided not to do anything and not to tell him either. I would have a problem with that too. I think you should express your concerns to the teacher and let them do something about it hopefully (alter the costumes and song maybe). Can I ask why on earth you weren't allowed to watch them practice?
|
| Posted 5/8/10 7:59 AM |
| |
|
ChrisDee
My Girls
Member since 11/06 9543 total posts
Name:
Christine
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
Posted by Chai77
I think I agree with your DH. Sounds like you knew he would have a big problem with it, but you decided not to do anything and not to tell him either. I would have a problem with that too. I think you should express your concerns to the teacher and let them do something about it hopefully (alter the costumes and song maybe). Can I ask why on earth you weren't allowed to watch them practice?
We are not allowed to watch because the teachers think they are distracted by the moms and siblings. We are given a sneak peek every few weeks usually with no music.
This was the same when we used to go to dance, no parents in the room.
|
| Posted 5/8/10 8:01 AM |
| |
|
Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
This is one of the reasons I am glad I dont have girls 
I remember my dance recital costumes and let me tell you, they weren't pretty Why a dance teacher would think to pick that song for a 9 yr. old dance recital is beyond me. At this point, I would just let her do the show.
People just keep pushing the envelope with girls today...no wonder they are looked at as purely sex objects and have so much pressure put on them 
ETA: When I was in dance class which was for YEARS, parents didnt watch our weekly classes either. I dont think they got to see the costumes either...just given the price. We had a dress rehearsal before the recital parents were allowed to see.
Message edited 5/8/2010 8:25:01 AM.
|
| Posted 5/8/10 8:23 AM |
| |
|
Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
I would be pizzed off if I didn't get any say in a costume my DD was wearing. I think the parents should be able to have tons of input into the costumes and choice of song, especially when they are that little and you had to pay for them. Is there a board or something you can complain to? Even if some of the Mom's were okay with the choice I bet a lot more Dad's won't be.
|
| Posted 5/8/10 8:31 AM |
| |
|
lilbean
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/10 634 total posts
Name:
michelle
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
Hmm, it a tough one but I would say somehting. Maybe they can modify the costume a little, like get rid of the collar on the neck at last. Theres still a little time to remove some bootie shaking...
|
| Posted 5/8/10 8:35 AM |
| |
|
Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
If it goes against what you want for your daughter- you MUST say something. I'm sorry, but this is one area I wouldn't allow peer pressure (from other parents) to sway me.
I'm with you and as of late am HORRIFIED by what some parents are allowing their children to wear/do. That video Liza posted is a perfect example of WHY our children are so sexualized at such a young age. It's NOT cute- it borders on abuse IMHO. You can bet there are people with less than the best of intentions who have that video bookmarked. Anyone who thinks otherwise is deluded.
|
| Posted 5/8/10 8:45 AM |
| |
|
BigB
C & J are 10!
Member since 6/05 5914 total posts
Name:
Stacey
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
I find it totally innapropriate and unacceptable. I would let my daughter dance because I don't want to upset her, but when all is said and done, she would not return to that class and the teacher would have an earful.
Why do we push them to be older then what they are?
|
| Posted 5/8/10 8:48 AM |
| |
|
munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
You should talk to some other mothers and see if they feel the same way. If you are the only one who says something, chances are there will be no changes. Sorry this is happening.
|
| Posted 5/8/10 8:50 AM |
| |
|
mamasita27
OHANA
Member since 8/07 5974 total posts
Name:
MB
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
I can't believe that the insrtructor would pick that song in the first place! I would request that in the future parents have to approve the outfit/song or at least be made aware of it well in advance! Maybe ask the teacher if there is an alternate outfit that can work??? Aren't other parents outraged as well?!
|
| Posted 5/8/10 8:57 AM |
| |
|
MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
Posted by BigB
I find it totally innapropriate and unacceptable. I would let my daughter dance because I don't want to upset her, but when all is said and done, she would not return to that class and the teacher would have an earful.
Why do we push them to be older then what they are?
ITA with this.
I consider myself to be pretty "laid-back" as well--especially in comparison to MY mom (who wouldn't let me wear red nail polish 'til I was 16, same with makeup), but I absolutely would not keep my mouth shut about this.
How do YOU feel about it? Are you on the same page with your DH? Because if you are, you need to BOTH stand up and say something to the dance studio--that will also send the message to your daughter that you and your DH are a team and are willing to stand together.
|
| Posted 5/8/10 9:04 AM |
| |
|
Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
I just went and read the lyrics for that song and holy inappropriate. I know I said it before but I just don't understand how the teacher could pick that song and costume without parent approval first
|
| Posted 5/8/10 9:09 AM |
| |
|
cantbelieveit
Love these kids!
Member since 10/05 4708 total posts
Name:
Tammy
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
OMG, my DH would do the same thing! He already told me that when she joins dance, no make up for recitals! Good luck, I don't really have advice but I could see myself being in your shoes.
|
| Posted 5/8/10 9:14 AM |
| |
|
monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
Posted by Porrruss
If it goes against what you want for your daughter- you MUST say something. I'm sorry, but this is one area I wouldn't allow peer pressure (from other parents) to sway me.
I'm with you and as of late am HORRIFIED by what some parents are allowing their children to wear/do. That video Liza posted is a perfect example of WHY our children are so sexualized at such a young age. It's NOT cute- it borders on abuse IMHO. You can bet there are people with less than the best of intentions who have that video bookmarked. Anyone who thinks otherwise is deluded.
I agree with this.
You are her mother not the teacher and shame on the teacher for thinking this is OK. I would be at the school speaking to whoever is in charge demanding some kind of change immediately and I would probably try to rally other moms as well.
|
| Posted 5/8/10 9:42 AM |
| |
|
Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
Posted by Porrruss
If it goes against what you want for your daughter- you MUST say something. I'm sorry, but this is one area I wouldn't allow peer pressure (from other parents) to sway me.
I'm with you and as of late am HORRIFIED by what some parents are allowing their children to wear/do. That video Liza posted is a perfect example of WHY our children are so sexualized at such a young age. It's NOT cute- it borders on abuse IMHO. You can bet there are people with less than the best of intentions who have that video bookmarked. Anyone who thinks otherwise is deluded.
Couldn't agree more Amy. I know it's "easy" to stay stand up and risk breaking your little girl's heart but I just feel like SOMEONE needs to say something here... We are our kids' ONLY advocates... the song choice would be my FIRST problem, wteff is WRONG with a teacher who picks that???? Seriously!!!! And the costume? Forget it. My kid would NOT be put on display like that. I would not need a quorum to approach the teacher, either change the music and costume or my kid sits this one out. It would be a hard decision but the RIGHT decision, imho. My parents were STRICT.... from about age 8 to 18 I lost count of the # of times I was told "you'll understand when you're older" when they barred me doing something I wanted or listening to music they found inappropriate, etc. You know what? The momentary heartbreak is FLEETING compared to the lessons they were teaching me. First off, the PARENT gets to make decisions for their child. No argument, no debate, and to quote my Dad, "this is not a democracy over here.".
I appreciate that they always looked out for our welfare, and don't resent them one iota for making the tough decisions back then.
o
|
| Posted 5/8/10 9:43 AM |
| |
|
Mimms
love my boys
Member since 4/08 2365 total posts
Name:
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
If you feel that strongly about it I think you should speak to the teacher. I'm a dance teacher and all of the studio's I've taught at we have always tried hard to pick age appropriate costumes but I know that not every studio is like that. I'm not sure what can be done at this point since it's very unlikely that they will be able to order something new to replace it but most companies sell several pieces to coordinate with one look.... pants, shorts, skirts, accesories..it's possible that she may be able to order a piece to help cover up a bit. Don't be afraid to speak to the studio owner or teacher if you're not happy, I have dealt with that before and it's not uncommon. You paid for the costume so you should be happy with it.
|
| Posted 5/8/10 10:06 AM |
| |
|
maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
i had no idea the song was about that ! I don't have girls, I have boys and I DO NOT want them to see this type of dress/ behavior and expect that this is normal. I would def. have to step in and say something if it were my daughter. and if it had to come to me pulling her out to keep DH from getting upset, that's what would happen.
|
| Posted 5/8/10 10:40 AM |
| |
|
LoveBeingMrsT
Love my Boys!
Member since 12/05 4648 total posts
Name:
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
i would say something now so they know for next time that this won't fly with you.
|
| Posted 5/8/10 11:01 AM |
| |
|
ChrisDee
My Girls
Member since 11/06 9543 total posts
Name:
Christine
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)
Song Lyrics
(LIKE I SAID, I HAD NOOO IDEA WHAT THE SONG WAS ABOUT UNTIL DH LOST HIS MIND AND TOLD ME)
I KNOW the Jordan has NO idea what it is about, but some of the people watching will.
1, 2, 3
Not only you and me
Got 1-eighty degrees
And I'm caught in between
Countin'
1, 2, 3
Peter, Paul, and Mary
Gettin' down with 3P
Everybody loves ooh
Countin'
Babe, pick a night
To come out and play
If it's alright
What do you say?
Merrier the more
Triple fun that way
Twister on the floor
What do you say?
Are- you in?
Livin' in sin is the new thing (yeah)
Are- you in?
I am countin'!
1, 2, 3
Not only you and me
Got 1-eighty degrees
And I'm caught in between
Countin'
1, 2, 3
Peter Paul and Mary
Gettin' down with 3P
Everybody loves ooh
Countin'
[Repeat]
Three is a charm
Two is not the same
I don't see the harm
So are you game?
Let's make a team
Make 'em say my name
Lovin' the extreme
Now are you game?
A-a-a-re you in?
Livin' in sin is the new thing (yeah)
A-a-a-re you in?
I am countin'!
1, 2, 3
Not only you and me
Got one-eighty degrees
And I'm caught in between
Countin'
1, 2, 3
Peter Paul and Mary
Gettin' down with 3P
Everybody loves ooh
Countin'
[Repeat]
What we do is innocent
Just for fun and nothin' meant
If you don't like the company
Let's just do it you and me
You and me...
Or three...
Or four...
On the floor!
1, 2, 3
Not only you and me
Got one-eighty degrees
And I'm caught in between
Countin'
1, 2, 3
Peter Paul and Mary
Gettin' down with 3P
Everybody loves ooh
Countin'
[Repeat]
Message edited 5/8/2010 11:34:06 AM.
|
| Posted 5/8/10 11:11 AM |
| |
|
ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)***UPDATED WITH SONG LYRICS***
Honestly, I'd pull her from the recital right now. And I'd have a converstaion with the teacher about how inappropriate the music choice and costumes are and hit her up with the teen pregnancy rates these days and explain that the behavior she is teaching these children through dance is what causes things like this.
I'm an extremely laid back, but I will not tolerate any of that nonsense when my girls get older.
I would change schools immediately and find one that will let you watch the classes and know what the routines are. Otherwise, I'd move on.
A night of baton twirling is not worth putting any inappropraite ideas in your DD's mind. She should be a child and not be struting around any stage shaking the tassles on her behind. Sure, she'll be disappointed, but you can make it up to her. And shame on those other moms. Most likely they are all also hesitant to say something but are thinking the same as you. Be a role model for them also.
Good luck!
|
| Posted 5/8/10 11:22 AM |
| |
|
browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital(spinoff)(LONG, BUT PLEASE READ)***UPDATED WITH SONG LYRICS***
my daughter is too young for me to go through this right now, but i am outraged.
i do not believe parents should choose the song or outfit, however, i think they should be able to approve the outfit. you need to choose a dance studio that respects the fact that these are little girls, not strippers. i would want to see my daughter's outfit, but if i trust the studio, i should expect that they will choose something appropriate.
that being said, i would let her dance since she worked so hard but i would be there speaking to the manager and writing a letter before the recital. this is inappropriate and regardless of what other parents think, if you don't like it, say something.
if nothing changes, i would not reenroll my daughter
|
| Posted 5/8/10 11:33 AM |
| |
|
ChrisDee
My Girls
Member since 11/06 9543 total posts
Name:
Christine
|
Re: innapropriate outfit for recital***UPDATED W/PICTURE & LYRICS
I just wanted to add that the teacher is early 20's with no kids.
|
| Posted 5/8/10 11:36 AM |
| |
|
| Pages: [1] 2 3 |
