Irrational Fears

My DD who is 7 has always been afraid of characters like at a theme park or birthday party. About 6 months ago she was at her friends house and the friends brother came up behind her with an ET doll. I wasnt there but the mom said she freaked out. My DH decided maybe if she saw the movie and saw how cute ET was she would somehow feel better (obviously wasnt the best thing to do but he was trying lol). Anyway she of course freaked out. Long story short, the other day a commercial came on with ET and I was in the other room...she started screaming like she was being attacked. I RAN into the room and she telks me about the commercial. Now she wont watch TV at all except my channels (not that im complaining but I feel ba bc shes so terrified). I know kids grow out of this stuff but any suggestions? Ive tried talking to her but I cant even bring it up without her bursting into tears :(

Irrational Fears

I completely relate to your DD. I grew up petrified of clowns; would scream and cry whenever I saw them. Even at nearly 30 they still scare me, but I can obviously control my emotions about them. These things may still scare her as she gets older, but they probably won't terrify her anymore.

Have you asked her why she is afraid of ET? Maybe if she can verbalize her feelings it will help her.

Message edited 2/25/2015 5:41:05 PM.

Re: Irrational Fears

DS1 has sensory issues and has always been afraid of uncertain things. Mainly singing or moving stuffed animals. Up until his 4th bday I had to open his bday gifts. When we used to go to people's houses he didn't like to go in their playroom or basement where there was a lot of stuffed animals bc he wasn't sure which ones would start talking or loud toys/games that talk or just go off. Even at the any toy store he says he doesn't want to go down the talking toy aisle. He's 5 now and will be 6 this May. With OT and lots of work on desensitizing him its helped a lot. It's all about talking about his fears and slowly showing him what's not scary or just to ask if they can shut off the toy. In preschool he was in the self contained class. They had show and tell every Thursday so the teachers knew they had to check the kid's items they brought before showing the kids to make sure DS would be ok and then letting him know so he can decide if he wants to sit in the circle or move away during that toy. From baby till 4 he has gotten SOOOO much better.
I'm sorry she's still so scared of this whole ET thing, but bc the way it was first presented to her when she already had a fear triggered the fear even more. Talk about it with her during the day. I know I can't bring up fears at night or DS will get anxiety and not be able to sleep. Ask her when she's ready to want to see it again and if not tell her she doesn't have to. Let her know she's safe and it's only pretend. Movies aren't real, stuffed animals are toys and not real... etc.
Maybe talk about it a little at a time till she's comfortable to bring it up.
Sorry... hope she's ok. DS is in main stream K now with some help and still gets OT. Doing sooo much better, but there are still set backs. Bc he had expressive delays it was hard for him to talk about the fear. Now he can tell me, the teacher or friend (or mom's friend) if they can remove any talking toys. I know there will still be mean kids or big brothers like in your situation who will think it's a joke. Just have to make them feel strong and be bigger in the situation. As they get older it'll get better.

Message edited 2/26/2015 7:48:59 AM.

Irrational Fears

My cousin Joey is very afraid of ET. Growing up he would not even go in the video cabinet at his house because he knew ET was in there. He's now a US Marine and is still afraid of ET but doesn't freak outu as bad.

Irrational Fears

If that is the only thing she is deathly afraid of then I wouldn't worry about it at all. It's not something that is going to impact her daily life and I'm sure as she gets older the fear will lessen.

Irrational Fears

Thank u for the responses. I had her speak to the school social worker because it was impacting her sleep as well. My dd actually opened up and talked about it :). The social worker gave her special.putty to use when she starts feeling anxious. So far the sleeping is better thankfully. She still wont watch her tv shows but im not really complaining about that lol.