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Michi
My Love
Member since 5/05 31600 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
Posted by LuckyStar
Did he say it in a joking manner? Or did he pull her aside and ask in a serious tone? Because if it's the latter, while it is highly unlikely an 11 year old would have a boyfriend perhaps he WAS asking out of concern?
If he was clearly joking I would report him.
I was wondering the same thing. Was he asking in actual concern?
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Posted 12/7/17 9:05 PM  |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
Posted by Aries14
I think you should just speak with the teacher. It was a horrible comment to make but I think you should give him the benefit of the going directly to him first to allow him to apologize. I agree with the pp that it probably wasn't ill intended but should still be addressed. I think if he doesn't take it seriously when you speak to him - then I would go higher.
this. I disagree with alot of the posts on this because everyone is jumping to some serious conclusions IMO. A simple conversation could explain alot. Not insinuating your child lied, but I do think kids take alot out of context and change around stories a bit. Idk... If after speaking to him directly you have a sense that he really did say that, then I would absolutely contact a higher-up.
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| Posted 12/7/17 9:18 PM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
Name:
A.K.
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Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
Without knowing the context and tone, it's impossible to say how I would feel. However, on the face of it, seems like he is socially awkward and was attempting to make a joke. It was a very very bad joke. And he probably knows that. But it came out and and in the current climate, it's easy to read into it. However I would probably just tell my daughter that he is an idiot for saying that and leave it at that.
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| Posted 12/7/17 9:44 PM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22136 total posts
Name:
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Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
Stupid and inappropriate but not something to jeopardize his job for.
Like none of you have said stupid things.
I'd address it with him. I'm hoping he realizes what he said and is remorseful.
I'm not excusing what he said. It WAS stupid but I think we all have said things without thinking in front of kids before.
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| Posted 12/7/17 9:51 PM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
Posted by mommy2be716
Posted by Aries14
I think you should just speak with the teacher. It was a horrible comment to make but I think you should give him the benefit of the going directly to him first to allow him to apologize. I agree with the pp that it probably wasn't ill intended but should still be addressed. I think if he doesn't take it seriously when you speak to him - then I would go higher.
this. I disagree with alot of the posts on this because everyone is jumping to some serious conclusions IMO. A simple conversation could explain alot. Not insinuating your child lied, but I do think kids take alot out of context and change around stories a bit. Idk... If after speaking to him directly you have a sense that he really did say that, then I would absolutely contact a higher-up.
I agree with this. The first reaction for me would be to go crazy about it, but after thinking thoroughly, I would talk to the teacher to get the whole situation addressed. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
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| Posted 12/7/17 10:25 PM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
Posted by MissJones
Stupid and inappropriate but not something to jeopardize his job for.
Like none of you have said stupid things.
I'd address it with him. I'm hoping he realizes what he said and is remorseful.
I'm not excusing what he said. It WAS stupid but I think we all have said things without thinking in front of kids before.
I agree.
Teachers are still human. No one here has ever had a “open mouth, insert foot” moment?
I would address it with the teacher. It wasn’t an appropriate thing to say, but I don’t think it’s something worth getting the torches and pitchforks out.
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| Posted 12/7/17 10:29 PM |
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Sweetlax22
LIF Adult
Member since 5/10 1904 total posts
Name:
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Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
Posted by ChilisWife
Without knowing the context and tone, it's impossible to say how I would feel. However, on the face of it, seems like he is socially awkward and was attempting to make a joke. It was a very very bad joke. And he probably knows that. But it came out and and in the current climate, it's easy to read into it. However I would probably just tell my daughter that he is an idiot for saying that and leave it at that.
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| Posted 12/7/17 10:38 PM |
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jeanyus27
Life is beautiful
Member since 8/08 2543 total posts
Name:
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Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
Posted by MichLiz213
Posted by MissJones
Stupid and inappropriate but not something to jeopardize his job for.
Like none of you have said stupid things.
I'd address it with him. I'm hoping he realizes what he said and is remorseful.
I'm not excusing what he said. It WAS stupid but I think we all have said things without thinking in front of kids before.
I agree.
Teachers are still human. No one here has ever had a “open mouth, insert foot” moment?
I would address it with the teacher. It wasn’t an appropriate thing to say, but I don’t think it’s something worth getting the torches and pitchforks out.
I agree, for all you know as soon as he said it he could've thought "oh my god, what did I just say?!". If he's apologetic he's learned a lesson. If he blows it off like you're making a big deal over nothing & dismisses you, then I'd contact the principal. This is not something to immediately ruin someone's life over.
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| Posted 12/8/17 5:09 AM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
Just so I have this right..the Male teacher asked an 11 YEAR OLD little girl if she had a bloody nose because her boyfriend hit her, and NOBODY else sees something wrong with that? OK, this board gets crazier by the day!!!
I cannot even believe all the responses saying give the teacher a pass...part of the reason why domestic violence is so accepted and usually goes unreported, but hey, lets just all pretend that it's ok for a teacher to talk like that.
To the OP, please stand up for your daughter and all the other little girls he teaches.
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| Posted 12/8/17 8:46 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
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Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
Posted by LiveItUp
I think that's inappropriate to say, especially to an 11 year old.
ITA. What an odd thing for a teacher to say to an 11 yr old. I would be upset too!
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| Posted 12/8/17 8:55 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
Posted by MichLiz213
Posted by MissJones
Stupid and inappropriate but not something to jeopardize his job for.
Like none of you have said stupid things.
I'd address it with him. I'm hoping he realizes what he said and is remorseful.
I'm not excusing what he said. It WAS stupid but I think we all have said things without thinking in front of kids before.
I agree.
Teachers are still human. No one here has ever had a “open mouth, insert foot” moment?
I would address it with the teacher. It wasn’t an appropriate thing to say, but I don’t think it’s something worth getting the torches and pitchforks out.
ITA. I was a teacher (before I had my kids) and I would hope that if a parent was upset with something in class they would FIRST come to me and have a conversation before immediately going to the principal and causing a stir. If after speaking with the teacher you aren't satisfied with his response or attitude about it then see the principal but I would at least give him the chance to defend himself before taking it to the higher ups.
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| Posted 12/8/17 8:59 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
Posted by jlm2008
Just so I have this right..the Male teacher asked an 11 YEAR OLD little girl if she had a bloody nose because her boyfriend hit her, and NOBODY else sees something wrong with that? OK, this board gets crazier by the day!!!
I cannot even believe all the responses saying give the teacher a pass...part of the reason why domestic violence is so accepted and usually goes unreported, but hey, lets just all pretend that it's ok for a teacher to talk like that.
To the OP, please stand up for your daughter and all the other little girls he teaches.
I think you're misunderstanding. EVERYONE so far thinks the comment was inappropriate however, by speaking with the teacher FIRST is NOT giving him a "pass". It's being considerate of another person and their job and allowing them the chance to explain and apologize. If after speaking with the teacher the OP isn't satisfied with what he has to say then she should speak to the principal. I agree with others, going directly to the principal for a passing comment is a bit much. The comment was COMPLETELY out of line but he's human, maybe it just slipped out. Who knows? I think speaking to him first is the right thing to do before escalating it. JMO.
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| Posted 12/8/17 9:03 AM |
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dianadrw
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 2092 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
I would absolutely speak to the teacher first just to get his side of the story. And then I would go to the principal and let him/her know what happened. What if this is a constant thing? What if this isn't the first complaint? Yes, teachers are human. However, this is an 11 year old child. I understand saying stupid stuff. We all do it. But this crosses a line IMO.
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| Posted 12/8/17 9:12 AM |
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Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
Posted by jlm2008
Just so I have this right..the Male teacher asked an 11 YEAR OLD little girl if she had a bloody nose because her boyfriend hit her, and NOBODY else sees something wrong with that? OK, this board gets crazier by the day!!!
I cannot even believe all the responses saying give the teacher a pass...part of the reason why domestic violence is so accepted and usually goes unreported, but hey, lets just all pretend that it's ok for a teacher to talk like that.
To the OP, please stand up for your daughter and all the other little girls he teaches.
No, I'm pretty sure you have it all wrong.
Seems like pretty much everyone thought it was inappropriate and needed to be addressed. I don't think anyone said to give him a pass, I don't think anyone here is the reason domestic violence is accepted as you say, no one thinks his words were ok.
I don't believe in burning people at the stake for words. The teacher said someone terribly inappropriate - horrible, horrible words. I think he can be given the chance to acknowledge his verbal mistake and make amends for it. If he doesn't, then it warrants further action.
But yeah, no, you don't have it right.
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| Posted 12/8/17 9:13 AM |
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LI2VA
Love my life!!
Member since 11/05 3125 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by evrythng4areason
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by LI2VA
The teacher is male... does that change anyone's perspective on not going to the principal? Genuinely curious if that changes things, not trying to be snarky.
No you should no matter what.
And tbh, especially because it's a male
THIS!!! He should not be working with children under ANY circumstances.
Bc he made one un-wise remark?
Uh yes.....I'd like to see if it was your kid he made the remark to. Do teachers not go through any training????? I work with Law School students, so they are ADULTS 22 and over, and we have training's of appropriate ways to speak to them and act with them....this would not be allowed.
And I sincerely doubt this was the first time in his teaching career he made an inappropriate, punishable remark, unless he is a brand new teacher and this is his first semester teaching. You can bet he has done this his whole career, you don't become an asshole overnight.
He has been teaching for 37 years.
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| Posted 12/8/17 12:15 PM |
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LI2VA
Love my life!!
Member since 11/05 3125 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
Posted by Michi
Posted by LuckyStar
Did he say it in a joking manner? Or did he pull her aside and ask in a serious tone? Because if it's the latter, while it is highly unlikely an 11 year old would have a boyfriend perhaps he WAS asking out of concern?
If he was clearly joking I would report him.
I was wondering the same thing. Was he asking in actual concern?
No my DD indicated that he laughed after he said it. So he clearly thought it was funny.
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| Posted 12/8/17 12:17 PM |
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Tulips915
................
Member since 8/08 6851 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
SOOOO inappropriate!! I'd be speaking to him and the principal.
ETA: Saw your response. So he thinks it's funny to be hit by a boy?? WHAT?! Unreal.
Message edited 12/8/2017 12:21:23 PM.
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| Posted 12/8/17 12:20 PM |
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itsagoodlife
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/15 619 total posts
Name:
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Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
Posted by MichLiz213
Posted by MissJones
Stupid and inappropriate but not something to jeopardize his job for.
Like none of you have said stupid things.
I'd address it with him. I'm hoping he realizes what he said and is remorseful.
I'm not excusing what he said. It WAS stupid but I think we all have said things without thinking in front of kids before.
I agree.
Teachers are still human. No one here has ever had a “open mouth, insert foot” moment?
I would address it with the teacher. It wasn’t an appropriate thing to say, but I don’t think it’s something worth getting the torches and pitchforks out.
We have ALL said things "off the cuff" and regretted it later. I would speak with the teacher, mention what happened and express how inappropriate it was. And then I would leave it alone. Unless this teacher has a habit of making inappropriate comments, and this was a one time mistake... why crucify him for it?
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| Posted 12/8/17 1:17 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
I think reporting him for this is very extreme. If this is the first time that you have heard of him saying something inappropriate I think that I would just drop him an email and point out that his joke was not funny at all and even maybe volunteer the fact that you are a domestic abuse survivor if you are comfortable with that. If he is a normal human he will feel awful and not repeat the same mistake.
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| Posted 12/8/17 1:51 PM |
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JC297
LIF Infant
Member since 7/11 358 total posts
Name:
jac
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Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
Posted by LI2VA
Posted by Michi
Posted by LuckyStar
Did he say it in a joking manner? Or did he pull her aside and ask in a serious tone? Because if it's the latter, while it is highly unlikely an 11 year old would have a boyfriend perhaps he WAS asking out of concern?
If he was clearly joking I would report him.
I was wondering the same thing. Was he asking in actual concern?
No my DD indicated that he laughed after he said it. So he clearly thought it was funny.
I think you need to have a conversation with him.
Like a previous poster said, children take things out of context all the time. I was at a kids birthday party once where another parent stopped a child from being in danger and the child reported back to their parent that the other parent was being "mean" to them. I happened to witness the whole thing and legitimately the other parent saved the kids life.
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| Posted 12/8/17 1:57 PM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
I think if you're really bothered by the comment (and rightly so) then you should absolutely go to the teacher and also raise the issue with the principal. Those people thinking one complaint like this is going to end his career are pretty off base to me. Most likely he'll get a talking to, maybe a note in his file, but he's not losing his job. If it isn't brought to anyone's attention but his own then there's no record and he could do the same kind of thing a hundred times with no one aware at all.
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| Posted 12/8/17 2:19 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
If the guy's been teaching for 37 years he's not going to have his career ruined by any number of complaints because he's tenured and likely approaching retirement.
That's not to say you shouldn't complain but I highly doubt you'll see any disciplinary action.
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| Posted 12/8/17 2:36 PM |
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beachbabe
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/15 731 total posts
Name:
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Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
The comment was inappropriate but maybe he was trying to make her laugh so she wouldn't feel bad. People say stupid things all the time. No one on this board hasn't.
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| Posted 12/8/17 3:21 PM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
Posted by LiveForMoments
Posted by jlm2008
Just so I have this right..the Male teacher asked an 11 YEAR OLD little girl if she had a bloody nose because her boyfriend hit her, and NOBODY else sees something wrong with that? OK, this board gets crazier by the day!!!
I cannot even believe all the responses saying give the teacher a pass...part of the reason why domestic violence is so accepted and usually goes unreported, but hey, lets just all pretend that it's ok for a teacher to talk like that.
To the OP, please stand up for your daughter and all the other little girls he teaches.
No, I'm pretty sure you have it all wrong.
Seems like pretty much everyone thought it was inappropriate and needed to be addressed. I don't think anyone said to give him a pass, I don't think anyone here is the reason domestic violence is accepted as you say, no one thinks his words were ok.
I don't believe in burning people at the stake for words. The teacher said someone terribly inappropriate - horrible, horrible words. I think he can be given the chance to acknowledge his verbal mistake and make amends for it. If he doesn't, then it warrants further action.
But yeah, no, you don't have it right.
Well according to other info OP has posted, clearly I have it all right. I guess teachers aren't trained in what's appropriate anymore...good to know. I can tell you if I said this to one of my law students, I'd be written up, if not out of a job.
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| Posted 12/8/17 10:57 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?
Totally out of line
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| Posted 12/8/17 11:08 PM |
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