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Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?

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MissJones
I need a nap!

Member since 5/05

22136 total posts

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Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?

If we all were written up for the stupid things that have come out of our mouths, we'd ALL be out of a job!

I'm not excusing what he said... For the record, stupid and inappropriate, but we've all said something, to adults and kids alike.

Address it with HIM first. If HE doesn't feel remorse or think it's inappropriate, THEN address it further.

But hear it from him first.

Posted 12/9/17 10:03 AM
 
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!

Member since 1/07

9534 total posts

Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)

Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?

Posted by jlm2008

Just so I have this right..the Male teacher asked an 11 YEAR OLD little girl if she had a bloody nose because her boyfriend hit her, and NOBODY else sees something wrong with that? OK, this board gets crazier by the day!!!
I cannot even believe all the responses saying give the teacher a pass...part of the reason why domestic violence is so accepted and usually goes unreported, but hey, lets just all pretend that it's ok for a teacher to talk like that.
To the OP, please stand up for your daughter and all the other little girls he teaches.



What if the teacher asked because he was concerned that it was some sort of violence among kids? Domestic violence doesn't start in grown-ups, it starts when kids are younger. Many teens are in abusive relationships.

It is not clear from the original post whether this teacher was asking because he was genuinely concerned, or if he was trying to be funny. My first thought was that he was concerned, and I never considered he was trying to be funny - although reading through the posts many thought that.

Posted 12/9/17 11:01 AM
 

DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!

Member since 1/07

9534 total posts

Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)

Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?

Posted by LI2VA

Posted by Michi

Posted by LuckyStar

Did he say it in a joking manner? Or did he pull her aside and ask in a serious tone? Because if it's the latter, while it is highly unlikely an 11 year old would have a boyfriend perhaps he WAS asking out of concern?

If he was clearly joking I would report him.



I was wondering the same thing. Was he asking in actual concern?




No my DD indicated that he laughed after he said it. So he clearly thought it was funny.



Maybe he didn't think it was funny, but perhaps he laughed because he realized it was inappropriate and was trying to diffuse?

You won't know until you talk to him about it. Which, I would, but I wouldn't go into the conversation with guns blazing.

Posted 12/9/17 11:05 AM
 

Pomegranate5
LIF Adult

Member since 2/11

4798 total posts

Name:
Pomegranate5

Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?

Posted by MissJones

If we all were written up for the stupid things that have come out of our mouths, we'd ALL be out of a job!

I'm not excusing what he said... For the record, stupid and inappropriate, but we've all said something, to adults and kids alike.

Address it with HIM first. If HE doesn't feel remorse or think it's inappropriate, THEN address it further.

But hear it from him first.



This exactly!

I think it's outrageous and almost comical that people are suggesting his entire career should be over because of one interaction that they are hearing about third hand.

Posted 12/11/17 9:41 AM
 

lilqtny
-Crossfit & pitbull addict

Member since 7/06

2830 total posts

Name:
Tracy

Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?

I'd be very upset and I'd speak with him. I am a teacher sometimes I say silly things to my kids in jest but this is not nice at all.

Posted 12/11/17 10:13 AM
 

Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it

Member since 5/05

30683 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?

WOW!!!!!! I would be so PI$$ED. How do you say that at all, and especially to an 11 year old??

Posted 12/11/17 12:09 PM
 

Katareen
5,000 Posts!

Member since 4/10

7180 total posts

Name:
Katherine

Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?

Posted by Pomegranate5

Posted by MissJones

If we all were written up for the stupid things that have come out of our mouths, we'd ALL be out of a job!

I'm not excusing what he said... For the record, stupid and inappropriate, but we've all said something, to adults and kids alike.

Address it with HIM first. If HE doesn't feel remorse or think it's inappropriate, THEN address it further.

But hear it from him first.



This exactly!

I think it's outrageous and almost comical that people are suggesting his entire career should be over because of one interaction that they are hearing about third hand.



I don’t think anybody is saying that his career should be over, but this is the kind of thing that his superior should be aware of. If I make a mistake at work, my boss is typically notified. Once is NBD, but if I screwed up enough, then I’m sure I would be terminated.
What if he says things like this on a regular basis and everyone always gives them the benefit of the doubt??

Posted 12/11/17 12:41 PM
 

2boys1girl
and one more girl on the way!

Member since 5/10

2954 total posts

Name:
D

Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?

I think his comment has ALOT to do with his age.
I have heard that comment a few times growing up as a joke from my elders.

It was definitely an idiot remark, he probably shot off at the hip too quick trying to cheer her up and make a joke. He definitely needs to know his audience and receive some 2017 sensitivity training.

I would shoot him an email just saying you were a little upset by his comment and you wanted to just see what he meant by it? etc.

Posted 12/11/17 1:55 PM
 

Pomegranate5
LIF Adult

Member since 2/11

4798 total posts

Name:
Pomegranate5

Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?

Posted by Katareen

Posted by Pomegranate5

Posted by MissJones

If we all were written up for the stupid things that have come out of our mouths, we'd ALL be out of a job!

I'm not excusing what he said... For the record, stupid and inappropriate, but we've all said something, to adults and kids alike.

Address it with HIM first. If HE doesn't feel remorse or think it's inappropriate, THEN address it further.

But hear it from him first.



This exactly!

I think it's outrageous and almost comical that people are suggesting his entire career should be over because of one interaction that they are hearing about third hand.



I don’t think anybody is saying that his career should be over, but this is the kind of thing that his superior should be aware of. If I make a mistake at work, my boss is typically notified. Once is NBD, but if I screwed up enough, then I’m sure I would be terminated.
What if he says things like this on a regular basis and everyone always gives them the benefit of the doubt??



Well one poster actually did say that he should not be working with children under any circumstances. That's his career. So that's where my comment comes from.

I believe the OP said he's been teaching for decades. I'm assuming this is not a regular thing, or else he probably would have been removed from his position. But maybe not. Which is why it should be addressed with him. No question about that. I'm just disappointed at how many people want to be given the benefit of the doubt when they do something stupid (actually we all do), but won't try to offer the same in return.

Posted 12/11/17 4:35 PM
 

haveaquestion
LIF Adult

Member since 11/09

918 total posts

Name:

Re: Issue with DD teacher... WWYD?

Posted by Pomegranate5

Posted by Katareen

Posted by Pomegranate5

Posted by MissJones

If we all were written up for the stupid things that have come out of our mouths, we'd ALL be out of a job!

I'm not excusing what he said... For the record, stupid and inappropriate, but we've all said something, to adults and kids alike.

Address it with HIM first. If HE doesn't feel remorse or think it's inappropriate, THEN address it further.

But hear it from him first.



This exactly!

I think it's outrageous and almost comical that people are suggesting his entire career should be over because of one interaction that they are hearing about third hand.



I don’t think anybody is saying that his career should be over, but this is the kind of thing that his superior should be aware of. If I make a mistake at work, my boss is typically notified. Once is NBD, but if I screwed up enough, then I’m sure I would be terminated.
What if he says things like this on a regular basis and everyone always gives them the benefit of the doubt??



Well one poster actually did say that he should not be working with children under any circumstances. That's his career. So that's where my comment comes from.

I believe the OP said he's been teaching for decades. I'm assuming this is not a regular thing, or else he probably would have been removed from his position. But maybe not. Which is why it should be addressed with him. No question about that. I'm just disappointed at how many people want to be given the benefit of the doubt when they do something stupid (actually we all do), but won't try to offer the same in return.



But we are talking about children. If it’s the first time nothing will happen to the teacher. If it’s a Common occurrence someone needs to know about it. In the past year I have heard of three instances where veteran teachers have “joked” with children and brushed it off, but the children felt humiliated. In the past I may have given the teacher the benefit of the doubt but now I will not hesitate to call the principal. Let the principal decide what to do but I would want it noted someplace.

Posted 12/11/17 6:29 PM
 
Pages: 1 2 [3]
 

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