Kid's birthday parties- who is invited?

We did a big 1st b-day for DDs where all of our aunts, uncles and friends were invited. We want to keep their 2nd small (yes, I know it's 6 mo away, but I'm looking into places now). DHs family invites every tom d ic k and harry even though they don't have kids. (ILs get invited to his cousins kid's parties and sometimes they go). I know kiddie places are small so there will be more adults than kids and not much room for adults. I don't mind our parents, but then what about our grandparents, our sisters and brothers, our aunts and uncles...its out of control! And we can just invite his side and not mine. It's 14-16 people already plus the parents of the party kids (who I don't mind at all). What will I do with all these people standing around a 15 x 8 party room?? lol. And with a 90 min party there isn't time for them all to spend time with the girls while they are partaking in party stuff.

Do you draw the line somewhere?? Is this just something his family does? When I was little, only aunts and uncles who had kids came to my parties.

Unfortunately, our house isn't big enough or I'd just have everyone here for cake on a different day.

Message edited 4/23/2014 11:04:12 PM.

Re: Kid's birthday parties- who is invited?

In your case, I would have a kids party at a location and then family at my house at a different time. If a majority of them don't have kids, I imagine they would get bored standing around at a kids party anyway. I know what you mean about not knowing where to draw the line. I starting thinking about a first bday party already and my "short list" turned into 40 adults. I'd really like to do something smaller though....

Eta- I must be tired, I just saw your last line.. Hmm.. Is there another immediate family member who could host for cake? Like in our family, my FIL would be the one to host that sort of thing bc his house is huge.

Message edited 4/23/2014 11:29:45 PM.

Re: Kid's birthday parties- who is invited?

This is DH family as well. Everyone ha stove there including extended family. We agreed for DD first birthday we would do something big with friends, immediate and extended family. After that we said it would only be with our parents and siblings and their kids. Her birthday is in the winter, we don't have a lot of room and to rent out a place each year is expensive. I feel just because they do big things for every party doesn't mean we have to do the same thing. Do whatever you want and what makes you happy.

Re: Kid's birthday parties- who is invited?

For the second birthday, we had just my parents (in laws were on vacation). We did cake & the kids were thrilled.

We have a big family too. We pick a party place that doesn't have limits on adults & minimize the # of kids so its not so crazy.

Kid's birthday parties- who is invited?

For 2nd bdays and on I'm just doing it at a place and just inviting kids. It gets to be too big and expensive. And when I say kids I mean kids who would enjoy whatever activity it is. Her actual bday invite your parents and siblings over for cake. All because everyone else has huge parties you don't need to.

Kid's birthday parties- who is invited?

Last year we had the twins' 3rd birthday at pump it up. We only invited Friends with Kids who were old enough to jump around and only those with kids that my kids saw on a regular basis. And we only invited DH's siblings that had kids and his mom. If it's at a kids play place, people should understand that you can't invite everyone.

Re: Kid's birthday parties- who is invited?

Yeah we invited our parents over for cake last year on their birthday and that wasn't bad, but if we add OUR aunts and uncles its like 10 more people and we don't have room. Its annoying b/c his cousins invite his parents. So we have to invite his aunt and uncle to our kid's party. Then his aunts and uncles on his other side, then my aunt and uncles...plus both our siblings (4 ppl). That's when tis like 20 extra ppl!!

Kid's birthday parties- who is invited?

I don't think you have to add aunts and uncles just bc that's what your cousins do. It's your party and you can decide however you want. Even for DD's 1st birthday we kept it small and only invited our closest family (about 25 people). We've since been invited to all DH's cousins' kids 1st birthdays even though we didn't invite them. I don't feel bad, people understand and you do what works for you.

We just did DD's 2nd birthday at our tiny house and only invited our parents, siblings, and one friend. I wish I could invite everyone and all of DD's playmates but it just wasn't possible this year. She had an absolute blast at her party so I have no regrets!

Re: Kid's birthday parties- who is invited?

Re: Kid's birthday parties- who is invited?

my cousin recently had a party at a kids party place for her 2 yo DD. She invited her immediate family (parents, sisters, and IL's) and cousins that had young kids (since the party was geared more for them). No other aunts, uncles, and cousins were invited. For my DS' 2nd birthday we are prob just going to do a BBQ in the backyard and invite immediate family (we also had a big 1st bday)

Re: Kid's birthday parties- who is invited?

We did the big 1st bdayd with over 100 people. After that we have always done kids parties and then we gave our immediate family over for dinner and cake on their actual birthdays. We invite our parents and siblings- no aunts and uncles. It's just too many people.

Re: Kid's birthday parties- who is invited?

You have to draw a line - you just HAVE to.

Now that we give them 'kddie' parties w/ their friends, I also include our close family friends and their cousins in that party -

If you don't have kids that play w/ mine, you're not invited to the birthday party.
There are no hard feelings, it just is what it is.

I have dinner/cake for the grandparents and immediate aunts/uncles (DH and my siblings) and that's it.

You just can't .........it gets to be totally out of control.

My 5 year old's party was last week - 30 kids came !!!

Re: Kid's birthday parties- who is invited?

For DD's 2nd birthday, we are having a party at The Little Gym, and as far as family goes, inviting the grandparents and DD's aunts and uncles (i.e., our siblings) along with her cousins. One of DH's sister's has three kids 4 and under, one is single without kids, and my sister has 11 and 15 year old boys. DH wanted to include his aunt and uncle, as they are part of every family gathering, but we ended up having to book it on a Saturday, and they are Shabbat-observant, so they won't be coming. That's fine with me, because I wasn't planning on inviting my own aunts and uncles. Otherwise the guests are our friends with kids similar age (and older siblings), and DD's friends from daycare.

We debated about this for a long time...separate family party, only family at home with a few friends, etc., and this is what we ended up deciding. After the party, our family will come back to our house for opening presents.

Re: Kid's birthday parties- who is invited?

I think once you start doing a "kids" party - ie: where the party is centered around an activity for the kids - then you can stop inviting extended family. If you want, you can always do something small at home for family.

Kid's birthday parties- who is invited?

For DD's second bday, only kids are getting invites because it will be at a kiddie place. Adults are being told word of mouth. If they come, great. If not, so be it.

Kid's birthday parties- who is invited?

I had a big party for her first and to be honest I'm tired of having big parties. Too much on us and the set up and clean up afterward really gets to me. This year we are having a kids only party at a location. We are having something small for family the next day. So much easier!

Message edited 4/24/2014 10:37:56 AM.

Re: Kid's birthday parties- who is invited?

Re: Kid's birthday parties- who is invited?

DD is going to be two soon. We're just having a kiddie party.

I was going to do a family party and invite my aunts/uncles/grandma, etc but decided against it. It's just too much.