Kindergarten..is this typical?

This is a long story...every week one student in DS's class is "student of the week". That child brings in a few things to share with the class (pictures, a game, etc.) and parents come in and read a story or do a craft with the class. The note that was sent home in January stated that if parents want to come in, to write a note the week before to schedule with the teacher. Well, this is DS's week, but I didn't send a note last week because DS was out sick the entire week. I sent a note with him this morning, asking if my husband and I could come in on two separate days, and if not, we'd like to come in on Wed. I get a note back this afternoon from the teacher saying we can come in on Thursday. I am really disappointed, because I may not be able to get there on Thursday. I feel like this teacher is unwelcoming to parents in general. I was not allowed to go in for my DS birthday, and there has only been one time that parents were invited to the class at all this year (Valentine's Day).

Is this typical for kindergarten? I feel like most of my friends have had a lot more involvement in their children's classes, with celebrations and activities. But I also might be over-reacting because I really want to be there for DS and I may not be able to.

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

We were there for the Halloween parade, my sons birthday, the thanksgiving party, and we read for dr seuss's birthday, Christmas, and I went for a Halloween craft and pumpkin picking,

There is always an open invitation for parents to come and read to the class. I'm sure we would have to tell her what days ahead of time, but she's never given me an issue.

I would think that they would welcome parents into the classroom. I would talk to the teacher about it. Maybe they have a very busy week? I would def. tell her you want to be more involved.

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

We have a closed door policy. There has to be a reason why the parent comes into the class. We can go to events but not every single one.
My school sounds a lot like you are describing but I am used to it.

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

As a teacher I can tell you that this is typical. She may not be able to accommodate the days you asked for, and really, she's not obligated to. Her first responsibility is to the curriculum and her class. She invited you in, which I think was pretty welcoming.

Lots of parents get spoiled by the openness of preschool and then are disappointed by kindergarten.

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

My DD's class has student of the week also. Parents are invited into the classroom but at specific days/times - parents of the 'student of the week' come in to help with the craft centers, which take place Tues/Thurs.

I can understand your disappointment, but I can also understand the teacher not having as much flexibility this week since you didn't schedule in advance.

I am a little surprised that they've only had one parent event. Perhaps you can talk to the class mom's about asking the teachers to have some more events that involve parents?

My DD's teacher/school is very welcoming to parents. I've been in her class for the Halloween parade, Thanksgiving feast, Holiday party, student of the week, and one other craft centers day that they needed help. I know they have an upcoming spring basket craft that they've requested all parents in for, and a mothers day tea scheduled. So I guess it really depends on the school...

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

It sounds typical to me except that I'd think a teacher should be more accomodating to your schedule - unless it's conflicting with a special (ie missing gym may not be as important as missing music if there's a concert & vice versa).

I remember when my 1st started kindergarten. It felt weird to send him in with cupcakes but not attend. Now I realize it's normal.

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

My DDs class also does Star of the week. However, there is a set schedule...each day is something different for the student to being in or do. So, the parent has to come in specifically on the day that is listed for a visitor to come in and read or do the craft. She works it around her lesson plans, specials (gym, art, music, etc) and I assume picked the day that she could add in visitor time. If you are really unable to manipulate your schedule to show up for Thursday, I would call the teacher and explain that its really important to you and your DC that you come in, and ask if there is any other day that may work for the class.

As far as the number of times you are invited to the school, I am surprised ...I have been to DDs class for pretty much the same things as other posters altready named...Halloween parade, Thanksgiving feast, Thanksgiving Play, Holiday Party, and star of the week. You were not invited for any of these type of events??

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

Thanks for the replies, everyone. I understand that the teacher cannot necessarily accommodate my schedule.

I am just so disappointed that I may not be able to get there. I have had a few other issues with this teacher too - and that's playing a role in my reaction.

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

We have been invited to participate with class crafts, parties and holiday events probably 4x. My husband was able to go twice and my dad went once. We were also invited to read during my DD's star student week. I was not available but the teacher told me that I could feel free to discuss a future date with her to read to the class.

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

I would be very upset over that. I do not believe in closed door policies. I believe the community MUST help the schools, there is simply not enough teachers to not have parent volunteers and the parents NEED to be involved.

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

Our school has a policy about birthday parties because we found that parents would find their way to places they shouldn't when there for a party but when I teach K, I like having parents in for holiday projects, writing celebrations and things like that...we also did an end of the year party outside and got pizza, ices, etc....some teachers are uncomfortable because they've been burned before by some parents but I like having parents in and sometimes they have great ideas for projects and I am not crafty, so I love having that experience...

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

DS doesn't have student of the week but his teacher welcomes parents in the classroom anytime. I have voluntarily gone in a few times so far to read to the class. I emailed the teacher a few days before I wanted to go in and she was so happy to have me there! She also encourages parents to come in for holiday and birthday parties, and center time.

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

Posted by PatsBrat

Posted by InShock

Posted by dm24angel


I just find this fascinating. , We should be welcomed with open arms at all times , because don't teachers complain on the teachers board ( and everywhere else) that parent's don't do enough?

I believe parents need to do more AT HOME ... not in my classroom.

I agree!

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

My DC's K class invites parents to come in when their DC is student of the week-- the teacher is flexible with what day of that week the parent comes. However, there have only been a minimum number of celebrations that they invite parents to... the teacher says she does that so that working parents who have a hard time making it to these events don't have to feel like they're missing so many special celebrations all year.

I'm not a teacher, but I can understand why a teacher might not want a steady stream of unsolicited "helpers" throughout the year. Even as a class parent, I follow the teacher's lead and I assist at these celebrations when she asks me to. Sometimes she just asks me to organize the snacks/drinks/plates to be brought in by families, and that's that. They have a teacher, a teacher's aide, and one student has a SEIT so there are certainly enough adults in that small class to handle a cupcake party

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

double post

Message edited 3/26/2012 10:06:12 AM.

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

Posted by dm24angel

Posted by PatsBrat

Posted by InShock

Posted by dm24angel


I just find this fascinating. , We should be welcomed with open arms at all times , because don't teachers complain on the teachers board ( and everywhere else) that parent's don't do enough?

I believe parents need to do more AT HOME ... not in my classroom.

I agree!

well thats not entirely fair is it? If a child's in school for how many hours a day, a big part of his LIFE, why wouldn't a parent be invited to spend some time understanding the class, helping out etc...why does it matter where the help?

I honestly don't mean to be disrespectful, sorry if it comes out that way.

I'm not a teacher so I can't understand your prespective on it.

I do believe in the whole" It takes a village....." ideal and think nothing bad could come from a parent being more involved in ( IN) school...so I'm truly curious that some teachers see it as a bad thing, as to why. No-ones said why.

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

Posted by PatsBrat

Posted by dm24angel

Posted by PatsBrat

Posted by InShock

Posted by dm24angel


I just find this fascinating. , We should be welcomed with open arms at all times , because don't teachers complain on the teachers board ( and everywhere else) that parent's don't do enough?

I believe parents need to do more AT HOME ... not in my classroom.

I agree!

well thats not entirely fair is it? If a child's in school for how many hours a day, a big part of his LIFE, why wouldn't a parent be invited to spend some time understanding the class, helping out etc...why does it matter where the help?

I honestly don't mean to be disrespectful, sorry if it comes out that way.

I'm not a teacher so I can't understand your prespective on it.

I do believe in the whole" It takes a village....." ideal and think nothing bad could come from a parent being more involved in ( IN) school...so I'm truly curious that some teachers see it as a bad thing, as to why. No-ones said why.

There are many reasons not to have parents in to a classroom. You would probably be very unhappy if your child were in my class because I have each parent in once to read and have one celebration a month for whatever holidays are celebrated in that month. 4-5 parents are invited in for each and it's only for a half hour.

I limit parent involvement, as I said, for many reasons, most of all because I simply don't need any help teaching and other adults in the room are distracting.

I won't go into the rest because they are complicated and you most likely won't understand the rationale.

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

Message edited 3/26/2012 1:38:54 PM.

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

Posted by Lucky

Posted by PatsBrat

Posted by dm24angel

Posted by PatsBrat

Posted by InShock

Posted by dm24angel


I just find this fascinating. , We should be welcomed with open arms at all times , because don't teachers complain on the teachers board ( and everywhere else) that parent's don't do enough?

I believe parents need to do more AT HOME ... not in my classroom.

I agree!

well thats not entirely fair is it? If a child's in school for how many hours a day, a big part of his LIFE, why wouldn't a parent be invited to spend some time understanding the class, helping out etc...why does it matter where the help?

I honestly don't mean to be disrespectful, sorry if it comes out that way.

I'm not a teacher so I can't understand your prespective on it.

I do believe in the whole" It takes a village....." ideal and think nothing bad could come from a parent being more involved in ( IN) school...so I'm truly curious that some teachers see it as a bad thing, as to why. No-ones said why.

There are many reasons not to have parents in to a classroom. You would probably be very unhappy if your child were in my class because I have each parent in once to read and have one celebration a month for whatever holidays are celebrated in that month. 4-5 parents are invited in for each and it's only for a half hour.

I limit parent involvement, as I said, for many reasons, most of all because I simply don't need any help teaching and other adults in the room are distracting.

I won't go into the rest because they are complicated and you most likely won't understand the rationale.

I am a teacher as well and agree that for celebrations it is fine to invite some parents in.

This can't happen all the time...when would actual teaching occur? I know where I teach there is a curriculum & dates that certain lessons need to be taught by.

In addition to that there are parents that can never make it in and we don't want those children feeling terrible. When there are 26 kids in a class, there can't just be an open door policy, honestly.

Re: Kindergarten..is this typical?

Posted by dm24angel

Posted by Lucky

Posted by PatsBrat

Posted by dm24angel

Posted by PatsBrat

Posted by InShock

Posted by dm24angel


I just find this fascinating. , We should be welcomed with open arms at all times , because don't teachers complain on the teachers board ( and everywhere else) that parent's don't do enough?

I believe parents need to do more AT HOME ... not in my classroom.

I agree!

well thats not entirely fair is it? If a child's in school for how many hours a day, a big part of his LIFE, why wouldn't a parent be invited to spend some time understanding the class, helping out etc...why does it matter where the help?

I honestly don't mean to be disrespectful, sorry if it comes out that way.

I'm not a teacher so I can't understand your prespective on it.

I do believe in the whole" It takes a village....." ideal and think nothing bad could come from a parent being more involved in ( IN) school...so I'm truly curious that some teachers see it as a bad thing, as to why. No-ones said why.

There are many reasons not to have parents in to a classroom. You would probably be very unhappy if your child were in my class because I have each parent in once to read and have one celebration a month for whatever holidays are celebrated in that month. 4-5 parents are invited in for each and it's only for a half hour.

I limit parent involvement, as I said, for many reasons, most of all because I simply don't need any help teaching and other adults in the room are distracting.

I won't go into the rest because they are complicated and you most likely won't understand the rationale.

I am a teacher as well and agree that for celebrations it is fine to invite some parents in.

This can't happen all the time...when would actual teaching occur? I know where I teach there is a curriculum & dates that certain lessons need to be taught by.

In addition to that there are parents that can never make it in and we don't want those children feeling terrible. When there are 26 kids in a class, there can't just be an open door policy, honestly.

I realize my words weren't written the way I intended them. When I said welcome at all times, I assumed in my mind that wouldn't be often but I guess I see how it was taken as a parent coming in every monday to 'annoy' the class. LOL

Thats not what I meant at all.



In my mind I was thinking more along the lines of inviting a few parents in for a special craft every now and then, holiday stuff...not more then that.