Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

DH and I have talked about this. I am leaving it up to him to see what he wants.

Both of my brothers watched their DDs being born and said it was such an amazing and beautiful thing. I would want DH to have that same experience. I already talked to him about pooping on the table, the fluids and blood just to prepare him. He said as long as he doesnt have to see the placenta coming out he should be ok.

Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

Just to give you something else to think about. With my first ds my dh didn't plan on looking but didnt really have a choice. THere was no sheet over me and he had to hold my legs - he saw everything and was amazed by it.

Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

I didn't want him to see anything below my waist, but when it was actually happening, i really wasnt paying much attention to whether he was looking. He did and the first thing he said was omg, she has curly hair! (She didn't---it was just filled with gook, ya know?) Then he went back for a second look and said "wow, that thing can reallly stretch". I said ok, enough. then he went on saying, "no really, you should see this, I mean it can reallllly stretch." then i said enough already, i dont want to hear that!!!! he looked again after I was all stitched up and i was still lying there and said "she looks normal! she looks real cute again!" LOLOL that made me happy. it didn't affect our sex life one bit. this time, i actually want to see myself.

Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

DH and the labor nurse were each holding a leg, so he obviously had no choice but to look. He said it was amazing to watch. Nothing was different for us afterward.

Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

i would take to DH and see what he wants and feels comfortable with and work it out together...

in my case, DH has no desire to see it himself and wants only to be at my head which is fine with me...but if he decides to sneak a peek that will be ok to

Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

During my birth the stir-ups broke and DH had to hold my legs. He had no choice, and saw everything. He was great- I have to admit. If he wasn't coaching me I don't know how I was going to get through that. As far as changing anything- not really. He still comments on the first sight of DS head coming out.

He didn't want to cut the cord though- he said is too gross for him.

Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

Dh really wants to watch and I really don't want him to. I'm just kind of private about things and I know DH will describe it to me in detail afterwards..not to be mean, but because he'll think it's really interesting. I'm assuming he'll be looking and I'll be pretnding I don't notice LOL. No mirror for me, thanks!! and there will be no pictures below the waist!!

Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

im leaving it up to DH although I think he is going to be nervous ... he is not good with blood and scary sights

if he wants to look, all the more power to him. me on the other hand, i do NOT want to know what is going on or see any of the horror show... NO mirror

Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

Hubby and I discussed this before I went in to deliver. He really didn't want to watch. He is very squeamish with blood. He decided that he wanted to take pictures. So he was standing off to my side. But when I really started to push he started to look down there. When I started to have a lot of pain because the epidural wore off, I couldn't handle having him staring at me down there. So I had to tell him to move. Do you believe he gave me lip about it! My Mom had to explain to him how I was feeling. He moved. But then I was rushed into the OR for an emergency c-section and I figured I was going to be by myself in there. But hubby went in. I don't remember much about the c-section but I do remember seeing him sitting off to the side.

Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

thanks so much ladies. im still waiting to here what DH wants to do. I said to him last night that I want to know what he thinks about it. His reply was "i dunno" ha

Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

We never even talked about it ... he ended up witnessing it all.

Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

DH saw everything and I was like you at first. I didn't want him to see it, and he didn't want to see it.

After a while...you just get caught up in the moment. It really is an amazing thing. You kind of forget what you are looking at, if that makes sense...because it DOESN'T look like your who-who.

With that being said, afterwards, I think it did freak DH out a little bit. It took both of us a little time to get back to the swing of things. But we are fine.

Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

I have the same fear as you, I am afraid he is never going to want to touch me again if he sees me deliver. He keeps telling me I am nuts, and that he is going to look if I like it or not.

He does not like blood or anything like that, so I can't imagine him hanging out down there, hopefully he will just take a peak.

Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

I have no choice in this matter...my DH is a biology teacher and has been pumped about watching the process in real life for months! He says since he shows the video (the birth of life) every year to his students, he is totally prepared lol. I don't mind. Maybe it's bc my DH is a 'biology guy' but I have no doubts he will not look at me different afters except maybe respect me more

Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

DH was mostly by my head while I was pushing but the dr. told him a few times to look to see the head and to see her be born. I could care less if he saw or not and at that moment it was the last thing I was thinking about.

DH said he was amazed by the whole thing and felt so proud of me. Still even now when he talks to people about it he says how amazing it was to witness. He doesn't associate it with anything... just the birth of his child.

Don't worry about it.

Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

DH has NO interest in looking. He doesn't even want to watch the video of someone else giving birth!

Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

DH and I had our minds made up that he was not going to see anything and I was not going to hold the baby until he was all cleaned up.
After 11 hours of labor that went out the window. He held one leg and the nurse held the other as I pushed. It was very comforting to know he was helping me in that way and it was for him too. When I was having contractions he could see I was in pain but there was nothing he could do and that was upsetting to him that he couldn't do anything.
Oh and I held my baby right away too.

Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

For us, i will let DH decide what he wants to see. With DD#1 I had to have a c-section and I am hoping for a vbac this time around. I know he would probably choose to see it. I'm not worried about the after effects, maybe b/c I know DH is not squeamish.

Message edited 11/2/2009 3:51:58 PM.

Re: Labor Advice/input? (long and possible TMI)

I am asking DH to stay by my head for awhile once I am in labor. My reason being is that if I stub my toe and it bleeds he looks like a goner. I don't want him passing out on me early in my labor. I am leaving it up to him if he wants to look or not. I don't really care either way. I don't know if he will be able to handle it so we will see. Sometimes they get caught up in the moment, and look and are fine after. As for the mirror I don't want to see it.

eta: there will be no pictures being taken until after the baby is out and i am covered up

Message edited 11/2/2009 3:00:33 PM.