Large age gap between kids.

I’m freaking out my girls are almost 7 and 9 and I just tested positive this morning (well I think I did at least 2 tests have extremely light lines) this is totally unplanned to say I’m shocked would a big understatement. Dh is thrilled we tried for. a 3rd for almost 4 years but it never happened. I don’t know what to feel other than shock and I have no idea what’s it’s going to be like having such a large age gap between my two oldest and a new baby. Anyone have a big gap, how is it? I feel like the baby will have be dragged all over the place with all the activities my kids do.

Large age gap between kids.

My sister and I are 8 years apart, and I feel like that’s basically what happens.

However, my sister and I never really ended up close. I think part of it is that my parents used me as a babysitter from the time I was 10/11 until she started driving, but that was a parenting decision of theirs.

Large age gap between kids.

My brother and I are 8 years apart. We get along but aren’t very close. I remember always following him around and wanting him to play with me. I started kindergarten when he was in 8th grade...2 very different worlds.

My nieces are 9 years apart. They get along, but my oldest niece definitely acts like her second mother. She helps her out a lot and has just taken on that role herself. She’s very mature for her age.

Re: Large age gap between kids.

My son is 11 years apart from his brother (my ss). Cool part is they can help you and watch them for you.

Bad part, is when they get older they may have nothing to do with them. My stepson hardly comes visit his brother now that he is an adult, when he does visit they have a great time. He does call and check up on hm. They do love each other. However, my DH is 10 yrs part from his youngest bro on his dad's side. He used to pick them up and do fun things with them. So it depends.

My stepson is actually 19 years older then his sister and 21 years older than his brother on his moms side. He has no interest because their babies

Congratulations, it will be great. Your baby will have protective siblings and you will have help. The little baby may develop a little bit of only child syndrome. Both my ss and son has this because they were pretty much the only one or in my sons case the baby.

Re: Large age gap between kids.

Not me... but my BFF has a sister who is about 12 years younger. She used to have to drag around her baby sister everywhere... and would totally be the mom. She went to parent teacher for her sister and helped pay for college. Now their kids will only be a year apart and they are the closest of friends.

I have a friend who has a bigger age gap (over 20 years) with her kids. It works. There are all sorts of ways to have a family :)

Large age gap between kids.

My sister and I are 9 years apart. We were each essentially raised an an only child. She did get dragged around as a baby but I feel like all younger siblings do. I remember her being sort of a novelty because none of my friends (or their moms) had babies around. My sister got to do some fun things being the only little one around. She was baby Jesus in the school Christmas pageant, each of my friends hung out with her for our babysitting Girl Scout badges. She had cameos in school plays. I was never expected to care for her or be a second mom. Occasionally I would pick her up from school once I could drive but I was never a regular caretaker.

I admit we were never close (still aren’t) but it’s really fine. I think there are pros and cons to any age gap.

Large age gap between kids.

I’m 12 years older than my sister. We’re very close and text each other everyday.

Large age gap between kids.

Congrats!! My DH isn’t close to his brother 18mo younger, but is BFF with his brother 10 years younger. I think every family is different.

Your girls will be so excited! Yes, he/she will get dragged along but I think it makes them more go with the flow :)

Re: Large age gap between kids.

My older sister and I were 8 and 10 when our younger sister was born.
Obviously, our relationship with her when she was younger was much different than the relationship we had with each other growing up close in age, but by the time she was in her 20s, we were all very close, and we just became closer as we got older.
Congrats!!

Large age gap between kids.

My brother is 8 years younger than me. We have a great relationship. Younger, I was like the second mom to him - it’s always been my nature.

I have a 10 year old DS and very newly expecting my second. They will be 10 years apart. I’m looking forward to the relationship!

Large age gap between kids.

There was an 8 year gap btwn me and my brother. We were super close. We have a middle sibling that neither of us were close with. I think it just really depends on the family dynamic. I wouldnt stress to much about it.

Re: Large age gap between kids.

My friend has 3 kids. All pretty close in age. They all get dragged around to each others activities. So it happens regardless of age.

I wouldn't stress about that. Id be stressing over getting up in the middle of the night again

Congratulations!!

Large age gap between kids.

I'm one of four, and my oldest sister is 9 years older than me. We are all close and it was totally fine. In fact, I felt I got the attention i needed as a kid because my older sister was off in college and doing her own thing by then. It was nice because I never felt like I needed to compete for time or attention from my parents.

In fact, I'm closer to my siblings that are 7 and 9 years older than me, than I am with my sibling that is 2 years older than me lol

Re: Large age gap between kids.

Mine are 8 years apart. They are currently 11 and 3 and they have a great relationship. We didn't plan the large age gap but due to IF and other circumstances it just happened that way. My older DD is an AMAZING big sister and my little one adores her.

I do have to say though that my cousins are 8 years apart and the older one hated the younger one all her childhood however now as adults they are super close.

Congrats!!

Re: Large age gap between kids.

I don't have a personal experience, but all will be great. Congrats!

Large age gap between kids.

There was just slightly over a year between me and my brother, then six years between my brothers. So I am seven years older than my youngest brother. The youngest has autism so it's a different dynamic, but we all grew up close and still are. And he was dragged all over the place as a baby to all of our school functions and activities, and my mom said he was the most go with the flow baby because of it. Families are all different. I wouldn't be too worried about the age gap. Congratulations!

Re: Large age gap between kids.

Congrats!! My sister is 9 years younger than me. She was so spoiled as a baby. LOL. and I was basically mini mom. She was scared to tell me things first because I would say you are so stupid? Do you know what could've happened? LOL.

She was dragged everywhere but honestly because of that I think that is why she is so outgoing. I was always shy. My sister could talk to a wall. Growing up, we had our ups and downs (like when she went into a spying phase when she 5 and I was 14, yeah I hated that!).

But we are very close now

Large age gap between kids.

My cousin has 3 kids - the oldest was 16 and the middle one was 6 when her youngest was born (so 10 years between the first two and 6 years between the second two - oldest and youngest are girls, middle is a boy). The oldest and youngest - (now 32 and 16!) have always been very close, and overall, they are all close. Yes, the youngest was pretty much dragged wherever they had to go lol

Re: Large age gap between kids.

Congrats!

I think they might be very excited to have a little baby around and be good mommy's helpers. However, I think they will have a bond together very different of that from the littlest. I mean for your oldest... I'm guessing when the new baby is about the age she is now (graduating elementary school?), your oldest will be in college and getting ready to drink legally. I mean, 10 and 20, it's two completely different worlds, right? I don't think they will be very close as children but they might become best friends as adults. Once the youngest is 25, the oldest being 35 isn't a big difference anymore. They could be very, very close. Either way it's happening and no one can predict family outcomes (some siblings are close at a young age and then not close as adults, some vice versa, some always close, some never close). All that matters is that you and DH are excited and ready to go back to that newborn stage again!!!

Message edited 5/6/2019 2:23:47 PM.

Re: Large age gap between kids.

Message edited 5/6/2019 2:23:28 PM.

Re: Large age gap between kids.

Re: Large age gap between kids.

Posted by BaysideForever

Congrats!

I think they might be very excited to have a little baby around and be good mommy's helpers. However, I think they will have a bond together very different of that from the littlest. I mean for your oldest... I'm guessing when the new baby is about the age she is now (graduating elementary school?), your oldest will be in college and getting ready to drink legally. I mean, 10 and 20, it's two completely different worlds, right? I don't think they will be very close as children but they might become best friends as adults. Once the youngest is 25, the oldest being 35 isn't a big difference anymore. They could be very, very close. Either way it's happening and no one can predict family outcomes (some siblings are close at a young age and then not close as adults, some vice versa, some always close, some never close). All that matters is that you and DH are excited and ready to go back to that newborn stage again!!!

Re: Large age gap between kids.

My kids are 12, 10, 5, and 5 months (also a total surprise baby). This baby can sleep anywhere, including a windy soccer field and a dance studio. Her sisters adore her and she adores them. I think a lot of closeness between siblings has to do with the relationships families establish. Age doesn’t define relationships.

Large age gap between kids.

My kids are 8 years apart, and fight like you wouldn't believe. My oldest has Autism though, so is immature. I found the age gap to work well though. My oldest was in school, and I could take the baby to Music Together, mommy and me, etc. It worked out good I have to say!

Re: Large age gap between kids.

Posted by BaysideForever

Congrats!

I think they might be very excited to have a little baby around and be good mommy's helpers. However, I think they will have a bond together very different of that from the littlest. I mean for your oldest... I'm guessing when the new baby is about the age she is now (graduating elementary school?), your oldest will be in college and getting ready to drink legally. I mean, 10 and 20, it's two completely different worlds, right? I don't think they will be very close as children but they might become best friends as adults. Once the youngest is 25, the oldest being 35 isn't a big difference anymore. They could be very, very close. Either way it's happening and no one can predict family outcomes (some siblings are close at a young age and then not close as adults, some vice versa, some always close, some never close). All that matters is that you and DH are excited and ready to go back to that newborn stage again!!!