Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

My sister's wedding is October 4th. My due date is Sept 25th. My sister does not want me to bring the baby to the wedding although my DH would be tending to him. I am MOH. I don't feel comfortable leaving someone else to watch my newborn. She and my mother have the attitude of "who cares, what is the big deal? All he would do is sleep anyway" and insist I leave him with my SIL. My DH doesn't feel comfortable with this either and is thinking about staying home with , My mom and sister are mad and say they would be highly offended if he doesn't come.

What do you guys think? How soon is too soon to leave a newborn? Thoughts? Advice?

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

MY DH would stay home. Im not big on a sitter at that age. JMO.


ETA: You may not be there either. You could go late, or still be in the hosp. would she be offened then too?

Message edited 9/2/2008 10:56:03 AM.

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

I think your mom & sister are being insensitive, honestly. I think it's a lot to ask you to leave your newborn with someone - especially if you've verbalized that you and your DH are not comfortable with the idea. I would insist on bringing your child or have your DH stay home.

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

I remember you telling me this situation at the GTG. Honestly, if it were me in the exact sitaution, I would leave the baby with a sitter. I think its important for your DH to be at your sister's wedding. I do not think its appropriate to bring a newborn to a wedding. The baby will be ok at the sitter.

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

Personally I don't think newborns belong at weddings, I may get flamed for that but I don't care, it's how I feel. My brother's baby was born 2 weeks before my wedding and he didn't bring my nephew, he stayed home with my brother's MIL. I say leave him with a relative of your DH's. They are family. Go to the wedding with your DHand you can leave the reception right after the cake cutting, or even earlier if it's ok with your sister. It's one night, your baby will be fine.

Message edited 9/2/2008 11:05:15 AM.

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

Is there a way to have a sitter stay with DC in the bridal suite or another room at the reception hall? I don't know if I'd feel comfortable completely leaving a newborn with a sitter.

will be 5 months at SIL's wedding. DH and I are both in the bridal party. My parents will be there and will watch the baby during the ceremony. SIL doesn't mind that the baby will be at the wedding, but since it's on a Saturday night, the baby probably won't stay much past the ceremony. I haven't decided yet what we're doing. FIL and his wife have a son who will be almost 4 at the wedding. I know they'll have a babysitter watch him later on at night. They said we could use the sitter too, but I'm not sure I feel comfortable with that. If I use the sitter, I'd probably want her to stay at the reception so we could check on the baby.

I'm sorry you're in a tough situation. I totally understand why you feel conflicted.

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

Honestly if it were me, I wouldn't be going to the wedding. The baby will only be a week old(if you go on your due date!). I wouldn't feel comfortable bringing him to the wedding at that age and I also wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him for hours, plus I'll be BF and do not plan on introducing a bottle in the first week. I don't think you will feel up to celebrating a week after delivery either.

I think your Mom and Sister are being incredibly insensitive. I'm sorry they are forcing you to make this decision.

Message edited 9/2/2008 11:17:52 AM.

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

I would have DH stay with the baby and would probably leave early (right after the cake cutting). I understand that she doesn't want the baby at the ceremony, but will she allow your DH and baby at the reception? If the baby gets fussy, they can always leave the room or head out early.

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

Posted by JennZ

Posted by 1stimemom

Posted by JennZ

MY DH would stay home. Im not big on a sitter at that age. JMO.


ETA: You may not be there either. You could go late, or still be in the hosp. would she be offened then too?

She is playing it by ear with me but insists I be there even if I can't stand up with her.

Well that is the most selfish thing I have ever heard. Sorry. But is she serious. Thats nerve.

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

I'm sorry, but i think your mom and sister are being ridiculous! They really expect you to leave your newborn after only a week? That is if you have him around your due date...

I can't believe they're asking you to leave him home. I would NEVER ask my sister to do that! And on top of that, to get mad if your husband stays home to take care of your baby... . Give me a break!

When it comes to weddings, i think people need to relax! Obviously your sister wants the day to be all about her and having your baby there will take some of that away from her... but come on! Get over it!

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

I know how I personally felt a week after delivering DS. I WOULD NOT have been comfortable to be out, dressed up at a wedding, I was still recovering!!


That being said, if I ABSOLUTELY had to attend, I would leave DH with DS, but for a very short while if you are planning on breastfeeding & not using a bottle.

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

i left my son when he was 4 days old with my MIL. i would have no problem leaving him for a wedding because i would NEVER have brought a week or 2 week old baby to a wedding. it's wrong on so many points. they need to sleep, eat and not be around so many people. not to mention they cry like crazy!

i would have DH stay home. i felt physically fine a few days after giving birth but that's not to say you will too. you will have to play it by ear on if you can go or not. but i would not bring your child. do you have a family member on DH's side that could watch the baby?

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

This is assuming you aren't late!! If you were 5 days late you would just be getting out of the hospital and she expects you to be at her wedding???

I say YOU play it by ear, see when the baby is born and how you feel. And if your sister and mom have a problem, tough $hit!!!

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

Message edited 9/2/2008 11:31:01 AM.

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

I would probably leave the baby with family. I know how I am, and I would not go to the wedding w/o my DH. I do think that your sister is being a bit ridiculous saying that she'd be pisssed if your DH didn't go. Who knows when you'll deliver?! Good luck sweetpea. My little sis is getting married Sept. 28th... hopefully I will not go early so I can attend!!

Message edited 9/2/2008 11:34:23 AM.

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

I do not think the baby should go to the wedding, but I think your sister and mother should be more understanding that you are not ready to leave the baby with a sitter at that age.
I would let DH stay home with the baby and leave early if you need to.

And what if you deliver late, as someone else posted? She would expect you to be at the wedding if you are not released from the hospital yet? Or what if you are recovering from a c-section?

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

Posted by NinaLemon

Honestly if it were me, I wouldn't be going to the wedding. The baby will only be a week old(if you go on your due date!). I wouldn't feel comfortable bringing him to the wedding at that age and I also wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him for hours, plus I'll be BF and do not plan on introducing a bottle in the first week. I don't think you will feel up to celebrating a week after delivery either.

I think your Mom and Sister are being incredibly insensitive. I'm sorry they are forcing you to make this decision.

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

I think your mom and sis are not being very understanding. If I were in your position and was not allowed to bring I'd have DH stay home.

Re: Leaving a newborn - WWYD?

I voted for other, as I feel you need to do what YOU feel comfortable with. Screw everyone else. You didn't say if you are planning on BF'ing??? That is very young and the baby will be eating probably every 2 hours or so. Would you pump ahead of time since your sister doesn't want the baby there?

Your sister and mom should understand that you need to do what's right for you and your child. I went to a wedding when DD was a month old and left her with my stepmother. It was soooooo difficult and I called like every half hour. I couldn't imagine leaving her any younger than that.

Good luck!!!!