Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

I know everybody says no, but something is up with my DD.
She is only quiet, only happy when she is being held.
Not just held though- held and walked around. The SECOND we put her down in a swing, bouncy seat, whatever, she starts to scream. The SECOND we pick her up- a switch turns off and she is silent. Laughing, giggling etc. If I sit on the couch with her on my lap- she starts up again- she only wants to be walked around.

It is SO hard on us. We can't get anythign done when we are home with her.
I actually look forward to the days I go to work and she goes to daycare- as sad as that is- because we just need a break.
She will be 4 months old soon- is this just a phase? She really has been like this since she was born but back then I chalked it up to- she's a newborn baby, she needs to be held to feel safe and secure.
But is she spoiled now?
How can we break her of this?
We just tried putting her down in her bouncy and she screamed. I told DH- let her cry- lets see how long- it went on for over 15 minutes until it was to the point she was screeching like someone was murdering her and in such a frenzy we had to pick her up.
The SECOND we did- she went from SCREAMING to quiet.

Please help!!

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

I think that 4 months old is the age where they realize that you are leaving the room/not in front of them. I've noticed DD doing the same thing, that she wants to be in view of me or DH at all times.

I'm not sure of the picking up part, but I'm sure she is getting used to you picking her up. I would probably start not picking her up, but being in front of her telling her she's ok and playing with her. She'll eventually learn that you aren't going to pick her up constantly.

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

DS was the same exact way. Start wearing her. It was the only way I got anything done.

Around 6 months old is when I started to "train" ds to play by himself. Now he is great at it.

It can be SO SO SO hard to deal with this type of baby. It will get better though. I promise.

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

DD is almost 5 months old and does the same thing. Sometimes she is content to play on the floor by herself. Sometimes she cries and won't stop until we pick her up. We also can't just pick her up and sit on the couch. We have to pick her up and stand. I don't know what it is.

There are times when I just let her cry because I have to do other things. I don't know if you spoil a baby by picking her up. I just think that you should continue to do what you need to do. Your DD will survive waiting until you are able to pick her up again. Mine does.

I have to say though that it is tough to watch her cry, especially when I see little tears forming

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#1 was sooooo spoiled.
I had nothing going on with my life at all and really loved holding him.
yeah...could not be put down for 8 months!
did not sleep, would not eat, would not go in swing, bouncer, carseat.
would scream and rip out his hair!

jessie met the swing instantly. lol...much better baby

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

Posted by katiebug

DS was the same exact way. Start wearing her. It was the only way I got anything done.

Around 6 months old is when I started to "train" ds to play by himself. Now he is great at it.

It can be SO SO SO hard to deal with this type of baby. It will get better though. I promise.

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

Posted by NYimport

DD is almost 5 months old and does the same thing. Sometimes she is content to play on the floor by herself. Sometimes she cries and won't stop until we pick her up. We also can't just pick her up and sit on the couch. We have to pick her up and stand. I don't know what it is.

There are times when I just let her cry because I have to do other things. I don't know if you spoil a baby by picking her up. I just think that you should continue to do what you need to do. Your DD will survive waiting until you are able to pick her up again. Mine does.

I have to say though that it is tough to watch her cry, especially when I see little tears forming

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

I really don't think so.

AT 4 months old they are still soooo tiny... they're just STARTING to be able to hold toys, interact, etc. They're only just realizing that they're separate from you and she probably doesn't like it much.

My DD wanted to be held a lot at that age. By about 6 months it was a lot easier to put her down and let her play with her toys. At 4 months it was just not happening.

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

Posted by katiebug

DS was the same exact way. Start wearing her. It was the only way I got anything done.

Around 6 months old is when I started to "train" ds to play by himself. Now he is great at it.

It can be SO SO SO hard to deal with this type of baby. It will get better though. I promise.

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

I remember being told and thinking that a newborn/infant cannot be spoiled. At some point, we knew we were spoiling DS. He was held throughout his ENTIRE first year of his life. We rocked and cuddled him to sleep everyday.

Our second child is going to learn to CIO early on...I think around 4m is the norm?

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

i hate when people call babies spoiled

they love you and want you there.. you're a comfort to them...they get spoiled when they are toddler aged, IMO

but i know it's still hard..

Message edited 10/18/2010 12:03:13 PM.

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

I agree with the PP- around 4 months- they are aware and can test you. Especially if she immediately quiets down when you pick her up.

My 5 month old is like this. He is getting much better though. When he was younger- he also had to be held all the time, and we often had to stand up and hold him- when we were sooo tired and just wanted to sit.

I just starting leave him to cry/fuss in his bouncy seat, playmat. Now, he is in his jumperoo or exersaucer a lot. I have a 2 year old and often I just HAD to let the baby cry- had to do something for older DS or cook, etc.

I think has learned to soothe and entertain himself better now. When he acts like he constantly needs to be held, it is only if he is overtired or teething (two broke through already).

As he gets older, I would let him fuss a bit, try the Exersaucer or Jumperoo if the head and neck control are good. I think our baby likes those better because he can see what is going on more.

Hang in there- I know it is tiring!!!

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

I think so. DD is 2m and when I walk into the room she will go from fussing to full on crying and then silent when I get her.

I know TV is the devil but for your own sanity, have you tried it?

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

this can be tough! what about if you lay her on a play mat surrounded by toys...sit with her and hover over her, playing and smiling. let her know you're there...and then walk away for a minute, come back and hover again with playing. just so she knows you're around but not necessarily by her side.

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

I swear my 4.5 month old is catching on to things! I just this week started to let her whine a little bit in her crib (not really CIO) before I go in there. I will first try rubbing her back etc before I pick her up, because the SECOND I pick her up she is all smiles. Little bugger!

I'm definitely noticing a difference in her cries/whines. Real crying...she is picked up/attended to immediately. Whining...I let her go a little bit.

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

I don't think it's being spoiled. rather, I think that your LO has figured what she prefers. She draws comfort from being held. Some babies just need more cuddles than others.

At her age it's OK to let them fuss for a bit, even full out cry while you do other things you need to do. See if she settles down after a few minutes, if not then get her. Over time the amount of time she'll hang out by herself will get longer and longer.

How's her trunk control? At 4 months my second DD was able to go into the exercauser- which was a GODSEND.

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

Imo, No.

they are still so little and if they are crying, it's for a reason.

And just FWIW, I miss the days when DD would get her little head right inside my neck. She was so content right there, just being so close to me.

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

I never "spoiled" DS so I'm not sure. I never rocked him to sleep and I put him down a lot. I started working from home when he was 2 weeks old.
Around 10 months he started to show a little separation anxiety and would leave my side but when he was younger he had no problems. I would just feed him his bottle and put him in his crib and he would go right to sleep at night.

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

Re: Let's be honest- CAN a 4 month old be spoiled?

No I dont think so.