| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: [1] 2 |
pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1
Member since 10/05 7395 total posts
Name:
Catherine
|
My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
I was talking to my friend last night and she asked if Marron is potty trained yet. I told her no, and that I really don't think she is ready yet, as she is perfectly content to sit in a wet or dirty diaper ALL DAY if I let her and the few times that I've tried to get her to sit there, she just has zero interest in it and just thinks it is the library! She started saying things like "Catherine, she is THREE!! She should be trained by now. I mean if she was turning two next month, no big deal, but she's gonna be THREE!!" She then proceded to tell me about the great success she had with her kids and that they were trained by 2.5 for her son and 1.5 for her daughter. She made me feel like such a terrible and neglectful mother.
Believe me, I'd like nothing better than to have Marron trained, but I just don't think that torturing her (and me) is the way to go. I told her that when I ask Marron if she wants to sit on the potty, she says no. And she said that her kids did that too, but that she would make them. Several times, they were even crying as she forced them to sit there and try.
So here I sit today, making Marron sit in there every 30-40 minutes. So far, she's wet through 3 pair of underwear and made nothing in the potty. I'm even trying to entice her with M&Ms (her favorite). I even showed her that when I made pee pee in the potty I got to have an M&M. Well, it's almost like I ripped her heart out.
I'm really trying very hard to get into the secret "My Child is Pottytrained" Club, but I don't want to damage the kids self-esteem over it.
|
Posted 3/10/09 11:32 AM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
2BEANS
wow time is going fast.
Member since 9/07 16106 total posts
Name:
Tina
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
first no child has gone to college in diaper.. so why rush your dd. If you dont think shes ready your the best judge to know this. I wouldnt do anything you and your dc is not ready for regardless of what others say. Why not wait until the summer and see if shes more responsive then? You have another baby coming in may so she might just go back to wetting once he/she arrives? KWIM?
|
| Posted 3/10/09 11:37 AM |
| |
|
yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
Tell her to mind her own ***** business. The kid isn't ready, she isn't ready! I don't know any 18 year olds still wearing diapers!
My son is 3 and he is still wearing diapers, so sue me. (if only there was a middle finger icon) Oh and he eats crap all day long, so sue me again!
|
| Posted 3/10/09 11:38 AM |
| |
|
LnR6604
I'm Gonna be a Big Brother
Member since 5/05 1647 total posts
Name:
Licia
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
It's like you are telling my story. My DS turned 3 last month. I have spoken to his teachers and his pediatrician and they have all told me the same thing. He will go when he is ready. I worry too, but there is nothing I can do. I have been trying since he is two years and I have gotten no where fast. Don't worry it will happen when she is ready.
I am going to try again next month, I would love to have him trained before #2 comes along.
|
| Posted 3/10/09 11:41 AM |
| |
|
Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
When Marron is ready., Marron will be ready.
Ali is the same way, I have been trying on and off for a year. I try not to force her, cause I know if she has a tantrum in the bathroom, she won't go back in there for a while.
We have had weeks were she goes all the time on the potty and weeks were she hasn't (we have been on these weeks for a little while now  ).
Don't let you friend dictate what you should be doing with your DD. You are Marron's mother and you know what you are doing, do not let her feel bad. Marron will get it...someday (hopefully Ali will too   )
We tried (and are still trying with the M&M's). Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. It has now gotten to the point where mommy and daddy go and she runs to the cabinet where the M&M's are and says ' Yea - mommy (or daddy) we get M&M's' (YES, I said WE, she thinks if I go she gets one and I get one )
Good Luck - you know what is best and you are doing a GREAT job!
|
| Posted 3/10/09 11:42 AM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
I say whatever works for you...but I also live by "the sooner, the better" for most things child related.
Very few kids willing go to the potty by themselves & you need to start sometime. The sooner you introduce it, the easier it will be for you - before it gets into a control issue. The last thing you want is for her to feel ok with a dirty diaper.
We started Joseph at 2.5, he wasn't fully trained until he was a little past 3. Maddie trained earlier & pretty much on her own at 15 months old but that was because Joseph as being trained & she saw him. By 2-2.5, she had it down. No kids get it right away - and there are accidents in your future, just like your friend had (whether she's admitting it or not).
|
| Posted 3/10/09 11:46 AM |
| |
|
maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
That was really wrong of your friend  She should not have made you feel badly about that!!!! Lots of kids are just starting to train around 3.
With that being said....I do understand what PP said, the sooner the better. I've been told many times by family members that the longer you wait on things, the harder it becomes to do. It makes sense..they got older, wiser and more stubborn!
It is a combination of factors when it comes to potty training. She sounds like a smart little girl who KNOWS what she should do, but doesn't have the desire. It'll prob take you two solid weeks to get through it, but I bet you'd be surprised. Every child trains at diff times...but like my mom said "if i waited till you guys let me know you were ready, you would have never been done!".
I know its going to be a while for my son to potty train, but I'm trying now at 2 1/2 to bring him to the potty often and rewarding him when he goes...we'll see!!
|
| Posted 3/10/09 12:12 PM |
| |
|
pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
I think you friend is an Idiot - sorry
anyone who forces their child to sit on a potty through their tears is doing them an injustice
don't let her make you feel bad, you don't need friends like that
|
| Posted 3/10/09 12:13 PM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
Posted by Mikismom
I think you friend is an Idiot - sorry
anyone who forces their child to sit on a potty through their tears is doing them an injustice
don't let her make you feel bad, you don't need friends like that
Just curious - have you potty trained yet?
|
| Posted 3/10/09 12:19 PM |
| |
|
lovemy2boys
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 3915 total posts
Name:
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
Posted by nrthshgrl
I say whatever works for you...but I also live by "the sooner, the better" for most things child related.
Very few kids willing go to the potty by themselves & you need to start sometime. The sooner you introduce it, the easier it will be for you - before it gets into a control issue. The last thing you want is for her to feel ok with a dirty diaper.
We started Joseph at 2.5, he wasn't fully trained until he was a little past 3. Maddie trained earlier & pretty much on her own at 15 months old but that was because Joseph as being trained & she saw him. By 2-2.5, she had it down. No kids get it right away - and there are accidents in your future, just like your friend had (whether she's admitting it or not).
ITA with this, I will start training DS around 2 years old whether he seems ready or not. he will get used to it ( just like evertyhing else) and he better be potty trained by 3 LOL I do not want to be changing a 3 year old's poopie diapers.
|
| Posted 3/10/09 12:20 PM |
| |
|
LIMOMx2
...
Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
She will do it when she is ready!!! I would tell your friend to mind her own business. Andrew will be 3 in May and just started with the potty last week. He did it out of nowhere on his own.
We were at Grandma's and he said that he had to go to the bathroom and ran to the bathroom. From then on he tries to go on the potty but sometimes forgets.
DH started giving him a toy everytime he goes and boy was that a bad idea Now he will sit on there all day long and try and get anything he can out
Marron will do it when she is ready. I def do not believe in forcing your child to do it.
|
| Posted 3/10/09 12:20 PM |
| |
|
yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
Posted by Mikismom
anyone who forces their child to sit on a potty through their tears is doing them an injustice
OMG I completely agree with you, nothing more heartbreaking than watching a kid crying on the potty!!!
|
| Posted 3/10/09 12:23 PM |
| |
|
pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
Posted by racheeeee
Posted by Mikismom
anyone who forces their child to sit on a potty through their tears is doing them an injustice
OMG I completely agree with you, nothing more heartbreaking than watching a kid crying on the potty!!!
exactly and ANYONE who knows ANYTHING about the subject will tell you not to force it , they will do it when they are ready
|
| Posted 3/10/09 12:26 PM |
| |
|
pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by Mikismom
I think you friend is an Idiot - sorry
anyone who forces their child to sit on a potty through their tears is doing them an injustice
don't let her make you feel bad, you don't need friends like that
Just curious - have you potty trained yet?
I am currently potty training....and I know, from from my own experience that if you force your child to sit on the potty, especially if they are crying, it will make them more aprehensive. Pretty simple concept, imho
When I put miki on, if she fusses or cries, I take her off. And wouldn't you know, she ASKS to sit on the potty, on her own time
Message edited 3/10/2009 12:29:35 PM.
|
| Posted 3/10/09 12:28 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
Posted by nrthshgrl
I say whatever works for you...but I also live by "the sooner, the better" for most things child related.
Very few kids willing go to the potty by themselves & you need to start sometime. The sooner you introduce it, the easier it will be for you - before it gets into a control issue. The last thing you want is for her to feel ok with a dirty diaper.
I feel the same way... DD's potty training process was NOT FUN and there were times when I thought I had "scarred her for life". But with a #2 on the way, and school starting in January, I had "no choice". We went through many different approaches and attempts, but it was DD who finally gave in and woke up one day to say "I want to wear underwear". DD is now day trained (with accidents once in a blue moon) and most of the time will wake up with a dry pull-up. She will be 3 in May.
I have read that the "optimal window" for potty training is 18-30 months. Outside that window, generally speaking, the process just becomes more difficult.
|
| Posted 3/10/09 12:31 PM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by racheeeee
Posted by Mikismom
anyone who forces their child to sit on a potty through their tears is doing them an injustice
OMG I completely agree with you, nothing more heartbreaking than watching a kid crying on the potty!!!
exactly and ANYONE who knows ANYTHING about the subject will tell you not to force it , they will do it when they are ready
I am SOMEONE who knows SOMETHING about the subject. There are children that need to be prompted - and yes that means at times picking them up & putting them on the potty crying. Then you reassure them that it's ok...and they get used to it.
Ideally that's not always the case, but sometimes it is. Daycares can train based on peer pressure - "oh look how nicely so & so went on the potty! You get a sticker!" makes every little kid want one too. But if you're training solo, you need to introduce the potty because very few kids decide "hey let me start using a toilet" on their own.
|
| Posted 3/10/09 12:31 PM |
| |
|
maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by racheeeee
Posted by Mikismom
anyone who forces their child to sit on a potty through their tears is doing them an injustice
OMG I completely agree with you, nothing more heartbreaking than watching a kid crying on the potty!!!
exactly and ANYONE who knows ANYTHING about the subject will tell you not to force it , they will do it when they are ready
But my only question would be, what if they keep crying when they are made to sit on the potty? There has to be a line drawn, no? I mean MOST children are very capable of being trained somewhere in their 3's. Some kids might not WANT to do it, but are quite able.
I don't like seeing my son cry over certain things, but it goes along the lines too of timeouts when they are misbehaving, or taking away a toy when they aren't sharing. They will cry, and its not always fun to see but sometimes its the only way to do it, no?
Maybe I am a meanie...I love my son more than anything, but if I know he can do it after 3 years of age I won't keep him in diapers just b/c he sheds some tears on the potty...is that really mean??
|
| Posted 3/10/09 12:31 PM |
| |
|
pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by racheeeee
Posted by Mikismom
anyone who forces their child to sit on a potty through their tears is doing them an injustice
OMG I completely agree with you, nothing more heartbreaking than watching a kid crying on the potty!!!
exactly and ANYONE who knows ANYTHING about the subject will tell you not to force it , they will do it when they are ready
But my only question would be, what if they keep crying when they are made to sit on the potty? There has to be a line drawn, no? I mean MOST children are very capable of being trained somewhere in their 3's. Some kids might not WANT to do it, but are quite able.
I don't like seeing my son cry over certain things, but it goes along the lines too of timeouts when they are misbehaving, or taking away a toy when they aren't sharing. They will cry, and its not always fun to see but sometimes its the only way to do it, no?
Maybe I am a meanie...I love my son more than anything, but if I know he can do it after 3 years of age I won't keep him in diapers just b/c he sheds some tears on the potty...is that really mean??
I see what you are saying but I feel that if you let the child learn at their own rate, they will learn. It is just my opinion, does not make it right or wrong.....
My tune may change if dd is 4 and not potty trained, who knows
|
| Posted 3/10/09 12:33 PM |
| |
|
pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by racheeeee
Posted by Mikismom
anyone who forces their child to sit on a potty through their tears is doing them an injustice
OMG I completely agree with you, nothing more heartbreaking than watching a kid crying on the potty!!!
exactly and ANYONE who knows ANYTHING about the subject will tell you not to force it , they will do it when they are ready
I am SOMEONE who knows SOMETHING about the subject. There are children that need to be prompted - and yes that means at times picking them up & putting them on the potty crying. Then you reassure them that it's ok...and they get used to it.
Ideally that's not always the case, but sometimes it is. Daycares can train based on peer pressure - "oh look how nicely so & so went on the potty! You get a sticker!" makes every little kid want one too. But if you're training solo, you need to introduce the potty because very few kids decide "hey let me start using a toilet" on their own.
ok barbara, you are obviously taking what I said personally, not sure why
I am merely speaking from my experience and in my opinion.
Message edited 3/10/2009 12:35:34 PM.
|
| Posted 3/10/09 12:34 PM |
| |
|
maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by racheeeee
Posted by Mikismom
anyone who forces their child to sit on a potty through their tears is doing them an injustice
OMG I completely agree with you, nothing more heartbreaking than watching a kid crying on the potty!!!
exactly and ANYONE who knows ANYTHING about the subject will tell you not to force it , they will do it when they are ready
But my only question would be, what if they keep crying when they are made to sit on the potty? There has to be a line drawn, no? I mean MOST children are very capable of being trained somewhere in their 3's. Some kids might not WANT to do it, but are quite able.
I don't like seeing my son cry over certain things, but it goes along the lines too of timeouts when they are misbehaving, or taking away a toy when they aren't sharing. They will cry, and its not always fun to see but sometimes its the only way to do it, no?
Maybe I am a meanie...I love my son more than anything, but if I know he can do it after 3 years of age I won't keep him in diapers just b/c he sheds some tears on the potty...is that really mean??
I see what you are saying but I feel that if you let the child learn at their own rate, they will learn. It is just my opinion, does not make it right or wrong.....
My tune may change if dd is 4 and not potty trained, who knows
Gotcha  You make good points.
I just know in my own situation, some things aren't going to come easily. Johnny is a kid that won't tell us a lot but he sure surprises us when we ask.
He has no prob sitting in wet diapers...poop however is an issue so maybe it'll work to our advantage..we'll see
|
| Posted 3/10/09 12:34 PM |
| |
|
pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by racheeeee
Posted by Mikismom
anyone who forces their child to sit on a potty through their tears is doing them an injustice
OMG I completely agree with you, nothing more heartbreaking than watching a kid crying on the potty!!!
exactly and ANYONE who knows ANYTHING about the subject will tell you not to force it , they will do it when they are ready
But my only question would be, what if they keep crying when they are made to sit on the potty? There has to be a line drawn, no? I mean MOST children are very capable of being trained somewhere in their 3's. Some kids might not WANT to do it, but are quite able.
I don't like seeing my son cry over certain things, but it goes along the lines too of timeouts when they are misbehaving, or taking away a toy when they aren't sharing. They will cry, and its not always fun to see but sometimes its the only way to do it, no?
Maybe I am a meanie...I love my son more than anything, but if I know he can do it after 3 years of age I won't keep him in diapers just b/c he sheds some tears on the potty...is that really mean??
I see what you are saying but I feel that if you let the child learn at their own rate, they will learn. It is just my opinion, does not make it right or wrong.....
My tune may change if dd is 4 and not potty trained, who knows
Gotcha You make good points.
I just know in my own situation, some things aren't going to come easily. Johnny is a kid that won't tell us a lot but he sure surprises us when we ask.
He has no prob sitting in wet diapers...poop however is an issue so maybe it'll work to our advantage..we'll see
bottom line is everyone needs to do what is right for their family
the OP's friend had no right to chastize (sp) her at all, that would've put me over the top
|
| Posted 3/10/09 12:36 PM |
| |
|
maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by racheeeee
Posted by Mikismom
anyone who forces their child to sit on a potty through their tears is doing them an injustice
OMG I completely agree with you, nothing more heartbreaking than watching a kid crying on the potty!!!
exactly and ANYONE who knows ANYTHING about the subject will tell you not to force it , they will do it when they are ready
But my only question would be, what if they keep crying when they are made to sit on the potty? There has to be a line drawn, no? I mean MOST children are very capable of being trained somewhere in their 3's. Some kids might not WANT to do it, but are quite able.
I don't like seeing my son cry over certain things, but it goes along the lines too of timeouts when they are misbehaving, or taking away a toy when they aren't sharing. They will cry, and its not always fun to see but sometimes its the only way to do it, no?
Maybe I am a meanie...I love my son more than anything, but if I know he can do it after 3 years of age I won't keep him in diapers just b/c he sheds some tears on the potty...is that really mean??
I see what you are saying but I feel that if you let the child learn at their own rate, they will learn. It is just my opinion, does not make it right or wrong.....
My tune may change if dd is 4 and not potty trained, who knows
Gotcha You make good points.
I just know in my own situation, some things aren't going to come easily. Johnny is a kid that won't tell us a lot but he sure surprises us when we ask.
He has no prob sitting in wet diapers...poop however is an issue so maybe it'll work to our advantage..we'll see
bottom line is everyone needs to do what is right for their family
the OP's friend had no right to chastize (sp) her at all, that would've put me over the top
I 100% agree. As someone who has been told a few times "You NEED to get him going on the potty", I want to scream "how about you come and get this kid to magically go...".
It's going to be a long road with johnny like a bunch of other things, but its all good..whatever works for each family is the way to go!!
|
| Posted 3/10/09 12:41 PM |
| |
|
HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
my son was 3 1/2 when he was finally potty trained.
tell your friend to go shove it.
Also... He had no interest or desire to go on the potty. One day, I just took the diaper off, made him wear underpants and VOILA... he was trained.
of course he had a few accidents, but nothing major.
Took about week. It was easy.
Message edited 3/10/2009 12:44:35 PM.
|
| Posted 3/10/09 12:43 PM |
| |
|
Reese1106
Family of 4! :o)
Member since 8/06 6655 total posts
Name:
Theresa
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
Posted by 2BEANS
first no child has gone to college in diaper.. so why rush your dd. If you dont think shes ready your the best judge to know this. I wouldnt do anything you and your dc is not ready for regardless of what others say. Why not wait until the summer and see if shes more responsive then? You have another baby coming in may so she might just go back to wetting once he/she arrives? KWIM?
I could not agree more. Your friend was completely out of line IMHO. Just because her kids were trained by a certain age does not mean that all kids need to be trained in that same timeframe. Have you spoken to her ped? If they are not concerned then I wouldn't pay any mind to what your friend said. Do what you know in your heart is right for your child. Only you know that, not your friend.
|
| Posted 3/10/09 12:46 PM |
| |
|
Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
|
Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)
Posted by nrthshgrl
I say whatever works for you...but I also live by "the sooner, the better" for most things child related.
Very few kids willing go to the potty by themselves & you need to start sometime. The sooner you introduce it, the easier it will be for you - before it gets into a control issue. The last thing you want is for her to feel ok with a dirty diaper.
ITA!
|
| Posted 3/10/09 12:48 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: [1] 2 |
