Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)

Oh I have to pipe in on this one...

As someone who felt HORRIBLE because my boys were still on their bottles at 18 months......DH and I tried everything. It caused more breakdowns and anger from us then I care to recall. Finally at 18 months I said you know what forget it....they didn't seem ready for it and the only reason I was forcing it on them is because I read that all kids should be off the bottle by 12 months. I just constantly offered the sippy cup to them and if they didn't want it - no fighting. 4 weeks later they both took the sippy on the same day and the bottles were thrown out. After that I said to myself all further things like this will be decided by DH and I an no books.

My boys are 2 1/2 and in no way ready to be potty trained. One of them just started taking an interest in us going potty and we alert them to the fact we are going potty and let them watch if they want to. Like i said one has shown a little interest the other none at all.

They only started going to quiet areas to poop, and neither has mentioned anything about their diaper being full or going potty.

They are not ready. I know my kids better then anyone else and I know that. I am hoping to start soon, but I will gradually do it.

And no friend should every judge you on it. I am so sick and tired of people judging mothers about every decision they make.

Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)

When your DD is ready, She'll be ready!
Simple as that.
When you're ready, start off slowly. Don't push her into it.
My nephew was a little over 3 before he was 100% potty trained.
My DS just turned 2 in Jan.
I can tell you right now, I'll be SHOCKED if he is trained by 3, 3.5 years old.

Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)

I think at the end of the day, every single child is different, just like each of us is different. Just because your child was potty trained at 3, or off of bottles at 18 months, doesn't mean that my child is ready to do the same, nor does it mean that they should do the same. And if you think I will have more problems the longer I leave it, well, its my problem, not yours!

At the end of the day, we all harp on about non parents judging us for one thing or another, or someone else telling us what we do is right or wrong etc....its no one elses business what I choose do to with my child, just like its none of my business what you want to do with your child.

And yes, my 3 year old is still in diapers. And no, I am not worried about it, and really, I am the only person who should be worrried about it!

Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)

ugh. I honestly hate to see when threads turn into what this one has.

DD will be 3 in June, we are working on potty training but she is very stubborn and does it when she feels like it. Marron will do it when she is READY. Please dont let what your friend said hurt you. You are a great Mommy and you are doing a good job!

Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)

My DS was not fully potty trained until he was 3.5. He would go #1 on the potty, but had accidents and didn't want anything to do with making #2 on the potty. I tried everything, putting him in underwear, stickers, candy, prizes...nothing worked. Guess what, he came home from school one day {I guess after holding it in for so long} and went on the potty immediately and has done so ever since. I tried to 'push' him and it didn't work. He did it when he was ready! I used to get so caught up in the thoughts of "omg he's way over 3 years old and not potty trained...ect" but age is just a # and every child is different. Don't worry, she'll get it when SHE is ready, but it does not hurt to encourage her along! {DS loved seeing me do my 'happy' dance after went potty, I made a HUGE deal about it

Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)

She'll do it when she is ready. My brother and I were trained early, but my sister-not so much. If you asked her if she wanted to go potty her answer was 'nope'. Do you want to wear big girl underwear 'nope'.

Eventually, she did go on the potty. Your DD will go when she's ready.

Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)

While I agree that kids do things when they're ready certain things have to be pushed a little at a certain age.
I agree with Barb. Sometimes you do have to let them cry a little but them them know they're OK and just encourage the idea that it's part of getting bigger and reward them for a job well done.
In the end you do what works for you and I'll leave it at that.

Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)

Ignore her. My Ped said most kids are not ready till their third Birthday.

I started to try with Ava at 1 1/2- no luck. I tried a few more times after that. Right around her third B-Day, SHE was interested. She started doing it herself and had barely any accidents.

Don't stress, it will happen in due time.

Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)

There is absolutely NO RUSH! In fact, its damaging to force a child to potty train. Kudos to your "friend" for getting her kids trained so young and so easily but that is more based on the temperment of the child, than any special skills she has.

Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)

When I taught in an EI program ( which goes up to 3 years old) we weren't even allowed to potty train because its not developmentally appropriate. The NAEYC (National association for the education of young children) has a great article that I sometimes share with some of my students parents.
NAEYC
However, it is always good to introduce children to books about going to the potty and things like that. I actually read an article once that said that many children were afraid to potty train (especially for bowel movements) because it was like a piece of them was being flushed down the toilet.
Before you potty train, make sure your child is not afraid of the sound of the toilet or just sitting on it in general!

Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)

OH PLEASE!!! JUST IGNORE PEOPLE LIKE THAT, FRIEND OR NO FRIEND(EVEN FAMILY MEMBERS) You can't let people make you feel like you are a horrible mother (which I know is easier said than done, I'm guilty of that too,but...)
I don't know why people don't mind their own business.
Do you know I started potty training DD very early few months old and sooo many people told me "isn't she too little?" or "why would you force your child to be potty trained at such an early age?"(when did I say I force her or when did you see me forcing her? )
So you see nosy people will find something to say no matter what. Just do what you think is the best thing to do and ignore everyone else.
NO-ONE KNOWS YOUR CHILD LIKE YOU DO

Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)

I don't think you should feel bad, no one knows your kid like you do.

Today was our first diaper free day on our walk and the park.

After speaking to EI evaluator, she gave me the push to go ahead and start training at 25 mos.

Of course at times he cried when i sat him on potty. He saw it as a chore, I would interupt him and make him sit in a boring bathroom. But that's life! I made him sit for 3 minutes at a time or until he went.

In all honesty, I do believe kids are getting trained later and later...I wonder how many extra diapers their generation is contributing to landfills.

Its a lot of work to train them. Even now, my kid who hated bedtime now gets up 5 times before he goes to sleep to tell me he has to pee. So even trained, he's now using and abusing me.

Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)

I may be the only one who isn't so keen on getting into the club. My kid is going to be 3 in May but she has no interest and isn't ready and so what? Why does it matter? I'm not saying I don't see the benefit but if they're not ready why are parents forcing it? She has no concept about peeing. When we did try it one weekend, she peed through her panties twice and didn't even notice it let alone mind, so to me that is a child that is not ready. So other than spending a fortune on diapers what do I have to lose by letting her take her sweet time? I just don't get it. I have enough battles with her in her terrible twos why create more. Tell your friend to shove it! and mind her own business. Why would she want to make her kids cry on the potty? I understood CIO, I even did b/c I felt like she needed to learn to fall asleep for her health and ours but the potty, not worth it to scar her.

Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)

just read what you wrote Kristen, and I don't know why but I wasn't able to CIO...but having him cry for 3 minutes on potty did not seem like a big deal. Maybe because I feel he is older and this is a part of being a toddler.

Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)

Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)

definitely.

Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)

That was really, really wrong of your friend to do to you. Your daughter's potty training is none of her business and she may have thought she was helping you, but really, that was a blow to your friendship, I'm sure.
That being said, I think my view on potty training is quite the opposite of most people today. I really don't think that kids always know what's best for them and I chose to potty train Ava very early because *I* knew she was ready, even if she didn't know. HOWEVER, I would never impose my thoughts on someone else. MY thoughts are for MY kid, no one else's. What if Marron had some sort of issue that she didn't know about that was delaying potty training? People can be really insensitive.

Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)

If I were you I would try in the summer when it is way easier with less clothes. You are not a bad mommy and you know your child best. My son had serious issues cause we started too early...and he wanted to use the potty.

Re: My friend made me feel soooo bad last night (long, sorry)

My DD was 3 in aug and she is JUST NOW starting to go on the potty. I heard so much cr@p from people (my MIL My BIL who mind you has NO kids) and i just said oh well thats nice to all the "my kids were trained at 18 months.. etc etc" I have 2 older kids ages 11 and 12 and they are both going on the potty now so i guess i did an ok job! Some kids are easy and some kids dont care either way.. dont listen to anyone. your daughter will let you know when she is really ready. i never felt making my DD cry to go on the potty was productive.(IMO) they all just bucked the system even more then. I treat my kids and my DH the same way, if you make them think it was their idea it goes so much smoother!