Naming your child etiquette ...

on the phone with a friend and her friend (who I do not know) just had a baby...

A while back my friend mentioned to the girl, when she asked for her help picking out names, that she liked a certain name and is kicking herself right now because she cannot remember if she said she plans on naming her child this name (she is not pregnant - but has known for a long time that this is the name she has wanted for her first born if it was a girl ) OR just said she liked the name....

well fast forward to this past weekend (4 months later ) and her friend had the baby...and guess what??? She named that girl the name my friend said she liked!

She called me all upset bec she wanted me to validate that she was upset! I told her I would totally be upset too! But I told her she definitely should have been more clear that is was more than a name she liked...it was a name she wanted for her future daughter..

I also told her that she should casually ask her where she came up with the name...just to satisfy her curiosity!
And she should still use that name in the future (who knows where you will be at that time in your life)

What do you ladies think? Would you be upset? Would you name your DD the same name in the future, esp if you had your heart set on it!?!?

Just curious if I gave the advice of the majority!

Re: Naming your child etiquette ...

Reason number two never to share your names. One being the you may or may not get from people.

If imreally loved the name, i would still use it. There is no patent on names. And, by the time they have kids she may hate the name or hate the friends.

Re: Naming your child etiquette ...

If shes not even pregnant she has no right to be mad. First come first serve...lol

Re: Naming your child etiquette ...

when I was first pregnant, a family member asked me what name I liked. I told them. They gasped and said I couldn't name the baby that, because that was the name so&so wanted to name her baby (she wasn't even pregnant at the time, and still isn't...no kids yet!)

I think it's so silly.

First come, first serve. ...and if I still loved a name, I'd still use it...but I'd have to really love it.

Message edited 1/16/2011 6:20:44 PM.

Re: Naming your child etiquette ...

Posted by JennZ

Reason number two never to share your names. One being the you may or may not get from people.

If imreally loved the name, i would still use it. There is no patent on names. And, by the time they have kids she may hate the name or hate the friends.

Re: Naming your child etiquette ...

Posted by JennZ

Reason number two never to share your names. One being the you may or may not get from people.

If imreally loved the name, i would still use it. There is no patent on names. And, by the time they have kids she may hate the name or hate the friends.

Re: Naming your child etiquette ...

We weren't planning to tell people our names... but right after we told inlaws we were pregnant BIL's fiancee "claimed" her favorite girls name. luckily it is not a name I like or would have wanted, but really? Because of that I ended up sharing our likely names. Regretting that a little now but what can you do.

Re: Naming your child etiquette ...

Well - my feeling is - no one has a monopoly on names. There are so many names out there and some are more popular than others. I think if you share a name you like with a friend you really can't be upset if they decide that they like that name. Even if you have a name picked out there is a chance that if it is a more popular name (even if it isn't) that your friend could decide to use that name anyway. I personally wouldn't mind if someone else used the same name as my daughters. I don't think a friend sat around saying "oh X wants that name so I better hurry up and use it".

If you don't want someone to take a name you like (remember they could still pick it without your guidance or suggestions anyway) - but if you have a name you feel strongly about and would have an issue if someone used it then you should make sure you never mention it to anyone.