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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
Posted by MetsGirl07
Posted by DaniRella
Posted by MetsGirl07
i see what you are saying...
reading the article it seemed like the parents tried everything they can to help her , but still were too lenient .. they should have maybe tried a little harder to save their child... does that seem harsh to say that??!!
i just feel bad either way.. i couldnt imagine.
yes, this is what i'm trying to say - i mean, the father asked her that night where she was going and she said, flat out, to a party... and she went right back to school after that first overdose and said it was alcohol poisoning - there would have been NO going back to school for me, no resuming life like everything was fine and normal... and my mom would have, and i hate to say this, but she would have BEAT my asss in if i ever even THOUGHT of doing something like that. 18 or not 18 - it doesn't matter and at 18 i wouldn't have had anywhere to go and i would have done everything they said. cell phone they found? I wouldn't have even had one - car? i would not have had one. so, yeah i think they let a lot of things go - that breaking point three weeks before she died should have been what saved her. that was their sign, their big red flag.
yea i totally agree with you!!
well said!!
i just wish the parents were more up her @ss then they were.
ITA.
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Posted 7/10/08 9:43 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
i just really believe that leniency is a big factor..
DH and I will have conversations like this and say to ourselves.. "there would be no way that we would get away with what kids get away with today"
im just stuck in that generation i guess.. and no i am not a parent.. but if my child almost died , i would have done anything in my power to get her help.
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| Posted 7/10/08 9:47 AM |
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Waste06
Waste not, want not
Member since 6/06 7219 total posts
Name:
Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
I don't know. It seems like her parents tried taking the right first steps in dealing with her. But like any parent, they wanted to hope for the best.
But heroin is scary. I don't know much about it, only what I've been reading lately. It's highly addicting and not all that expensive. It grabs a hold of you, and you're done. It seems to have come out of the blue, but in all honesty, it's been right in our backyards all along.
Regardless of what the parents did right or wrong, it's still a tragedy.
This has been a real eye-opener to me. I hope it scares enough kids (and adults) into realizing how dangerous drugs are and for families and friends to recognize the signs before something tragic happens to someone they love.
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| Posted 7/10/08 10:04 AM |
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beautyq115
New Year!
Member since 5/05 13729 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
And what about the parents of the guy whose house the party was held at...aren't they supposed to be held accountable???? A heroin party where illegal drugs were being used isn't that cause for arrest of the parents???
The way I read that article is that a woman (who I assume is the mother) answered the door for her parents and knew that this girl was face down in the couch and then walked them to where she was.........did this woman think to call 911? If this is the kids mother...it IS her house????
Message edited 7/10/2008 10:38:08 AM.
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| Posted 7/10/08 10:37 AM |
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banda61007
LIF Infant
Member since 7/07 296 total posts
Name:
Bonnie
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
Posted by DaniRella
I'm still confused - this is such a terrible story... but, they wrote that she collapsed in her bedroom three weeks before she died. At that point, I mean, they knew something was wrong? And they knew she was using drugs?? Her mom even said something like you like your boyfriend b/c you and him are always high... My parents would have held me in the house at gunpoint if that is what it took... But, is that the problem? That she is 18 and legally can run away or whatever - is that what they were worried about??
IDK - I feel like they had so many signs - not "this came out of nowhere, this was not the type of kid to use heroin" like they stated in the video. It is a tragedy either way but I just feel like I wish they would have done more - like someone needed to step in for this kid. My parents would have FORCED me on a plane to another state to go to a facility if need be.
 This is awful.
ITA and I would say the same thing about my parents. On the other hand, it is so hard though when there is someone over the age of 18 who is outside of their rationale mind and the law doesn't allow the parents to intervene. We have experienced this first hand in my family, not with drugs but with mental illness. The girl ran away to her boyfriend's house late at night and the parents tracked her down, went to the house and refused to leave until they got her back...tried to drag her out, etc. Unfortunately, the boyfriend called the police and the parents were nearly arrested for trespassing and assault because they have no legal right to get her back. It is a really tough situation.
This really is such a tragedy and unfortunately her parents will likely live the rest of their lives thinking about what else they could have done. All around this is just sad.
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| Posted 7/10/08 10:46 AM |
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trnity44
I hope you stay beautiful baby
Member since 5/05 8356 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
I just read the entire thing. It was absolutely heart wrenching to read.
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| Posted 7/10/08 10:49 AM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
Tough love...... I would have been out in the street if I pulled that crap.
Then again, my mother had the fear of her wrath instilled in me at a very early age.
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| Posted 7/10/08 11:07 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
Posted by Porrruss
Tough love...... I would have been out in the street if I pulled that crap.
Then again, my mother had the fear of her wrath instilled in me at a very early age.
I agree.  And there was no way I was allowed to stay out wil 2:30 WHENEVER I was living at home. Their house, their rules.
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| Posted 7/10/08 11:08 AM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
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| Posted 7/10/08 11:09 AM |
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4ForMe
:)
Member since 11/05 5666 total posts
Name:
Barbara
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
Posted by Gertyrae
I think this is so sad, but I also think back to when this first happened and a poster said that she was pretty sure Nicole had died of an overdose and the parents knew because she had OD'd a few weeks ago.
I know that you can't know everything unless you've walked in someone's shoes, but I have to agree that it seems that parents are just too lenient in general nowadays.
When I was growing up, there were no "extras" unless I worked and paid for it myself. Today, kids are given cell phones at 8 or 9 years old. There is no sense of responsibility. Just the fact that her curfew was 2:30 a.m. bothers me...when I was living at home I had to be home at midnight or 1 a.m. And I dabbled with drugs, nothing serious - mostly because my mother drilled the dangers into my head.
I just think people today find it easier to blame someone or something else...in this case the laws and/or her boyfriend.
Maybe we should be held accountable for our own actions. Maybe they should have made her stay home after ODing, maybe they should have taken away her car, phone, myspace, etc. after they saw she had problems. Maybe they should have seen the difference in her actions at 17 when she was more under their control.
The reality is this girl JUST turned 18...it's not like she was almost 19.
The 2:30 a.m. curfew bothered me too. The fact that they even let her out after od'ing the first time bothers me. And don't tell me there is nothing they could have done - my husband and I would have physically sat on my child before letting them walk out the door.
And whoever posted it was wrong that the parents said she had alcohol poisoning and sent her back to school, I agree. My kids *** would immediately been in rehab - there would have been no going back to school.
My heart goes out to her family. I can't even imagine the pain they must feel.
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| Posted 7/10/08 11:13 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
At 18, if I od' the week before, there wasn't a shot I was going to a party. I would've had to be prepared to move out & support myself. Not sure if my parents would have actually done it, but they would have made me think I was getting kicked out.
Being a parent to someone involved in drugs has to be one of the hardest jobs. You'd be afraid if you kick them out, where they will sleep, eat & what they would do for money and/or drugs. You're afraid to let them stay & enable them. I can't even imagine.
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| Posted 7/10/08 11:16 AM |
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DeniseMarie
<3
Member since 8/07 10682 total posts
Name:
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
I feel so bad for the family
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| Posted 7/10/08 11:23 AM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
Unfortunately, heroin on LI has been a dirty little secret. People were using it when I was in high school and college 10 years ago. It is about time they put it out in the open b/c this is a bigger problem than many people think or care to think around here.
Someone I graduated high school with died a few years ago from an overdose and sadly I can probably come up with a few more names. Like the Seaford girl, this was a good guy with good grades who came from a good family...there is a huge misconception about what heroin users are like and what their families are like.
And, it is not that expensive. Maybe they aren't getting the "good" stuff but kids are able to buy it with their $8/hr jobs that for sure.
LI and the school districts are doing itself an injustice and families and their kids an injustice by ignoring the drug problems around here. I'm not talking about pot. But cocaine, crystal meth, heroin and ecstacy just to name a few are more commong and widespread than people think. When I was in jr. high "huffing" was a big thing. Kids used to mix household chemicals together on cotton balls and sniff it 
Message edited 7/10/2008 11:50:47 AM.
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| Posted 7/10/08 11:48 AM |
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Katie111806
Team Pink!
Member since 12/06 5349 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
this is such a heart wrenching story, regardless of the circumstances.
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| Posted 7/10/08 11:54 AM |
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LightUpOurLife
Totally in love
Member since 8/06 12785 total posts
Name:
Bonnie-Jean
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
I will be 33 this Sunday and my parents would STILL kick my AZZ and lock me up. They wouldn't have to worry about the cops locking them up because you wouldn't be able to find me until I got clean.
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| Posted 7/10/08 12:32 PM |
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PegaLega
Lets Get This!!!!!
Member since 1/07 1110 total posts
Name:
Peggie
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
Can someone explain something to me-how come a parent legally can not throw out at child under the age of 21 but they dont have the rights of a parent after 18? I think Im confused  My FIL said legally you are responsible for your child until they are 21........now I think I am even more confused-has this law changed?
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| Posted 7/10/08 1:14 PM |
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PegaLega
Lets Get This!!!!!
Member since 1/07 1110 total posts
Name:
Peggie
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
Posted by architectnycity
It is sad, but the way they described her in the original articles was completely different. They never mentioned drugs. They said she was a singer and a babysitter.
This is also what I was thinking
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| Posted 7/10/08 1:15 PM |
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trnity44
I hope you stay beautiful baby
Member since 5/05 8356 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
Posted by nrthshgrl
At 18, if I od' the week before, there wasn't a shot I was going to a party.
Ditto. This is what I don't understand. The mother was quoted with saying you just can't stop them- or something to that effect.
If this were me at age 18- there would have been no way in hell that I would have been leaving the house- ESPECIALLY if my parents knew I was doing drugs!
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| Posted 7/10/08 1:29 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
Posted by jellybean1420
Unfortunately, heroin on LI has been a dirty little secret. People were using it when I was in high school and college 10 years ago. It is about time they put it out in the open b/c this is a bigger problem than many people think or care to think around here.
Yeah, it's definitely not a new thing. I am in my early 30s & a girl I was somewhat friendly with in high school ( but never really hung out with) died of a heroin overdose shortly after we graduated.
I was so shocked. She was a good student, athletic, very friendly, never got into fights, wanted to join the Army. I was so shocked when I found out.
The person who told me said that the family wanted to keep the circumstnace of her death quiet.
I can understand why, you never wnt your kid to be the poster child for suburban drug abuse, but I think it is important for people to know how common it is.
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| Posted 7/10/08 1:50 PM |
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csorisi
My 2 LOVES
Member since 11/05 1984 total posts
Name:
Corinne
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
Although I agree I wouldn't have been at a party if I had overdosed 3 weeks earlier, the article goes into some detail of what the parents tried to do but they feel that they did everything they could. The girl said she wanted to die after they revived her the 1st time therefore IHO no matter what her parents would have done it was going to happen at a party, in her bedroom, after work. Kids today will find the means to do what they want. I just hope that I have the strength when I am a parent with a teenager to deal with these types of issues.
Message edited 7/10/2008 2:01:09 PM.
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| Posted 7/10/08 2:00 PM |
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luckystars3
2015
Member since 11/07 2378 total posts
Name:
Julie
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
this is so sad. My stomache is in knots with this.
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| Posted 7/10/08 3:00 PM |
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CAMCaps
Live Laugh Love Run
Member since 6/07 4922 total posts
Name:
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
Posted by DaniRella
I'm still confused - this is such a terrible story... but, they wrote that she collapsed in her bedroom three weeks before she died. At that point, I mean, they knew something was wrong? And they knew she was using drugs?? Her mom even said something like you like your boyfriend b/c you and him are always high... My parents would have held me in the house at gunpoint if that is what it took... But, is that the problem? That she is 18 and legally can run away or whatever - is that what they were worried about??
IDK - I feel like they had so many signs - not "this came out of nowhere, this was not the type of kid to use heroin" like they stated in the video. It is a tragedy either way but I just feel like I wish they would have done more - like someone needed to step in for this kid. My parents would have FORCED me on a plane to another state to go to a facility if need be.
This is awful.
I definitely feel bead for her family and what they are going through, but ITA with what you are saying. There just seemed to be so many signs. I mean there was a problem three weeks beforehand where she almost died - why was this girl even allowed to go out of the house let alone stay out until 2:30 am.
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| Posted 7/10/08 3:55 PM |
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
I cannot say I disagree with what everyone is saying but I still feel awful that her parents lost their little girl and now they are facing so much public scrutiny about their parenting decisions. I think they made human mistakes that happened to have very severe consequences and that their hearts were in the right place. They seem like they are willing to put themselves out there so that other people can learn. That takes some strength.
Long Island lost one of its children and she happened to be a strikingly beautiful girl.
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| Posted 7/10/08 6:11 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
very said
a true cautionary tale
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| Posted 7/10/08 6:22 PM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl
Posted by csorisi
Although I agree I wouldn't have been at a party if I had overdosed 3 weeks earlier, the article goes into some detail of what the parents tried to do but they feel that they did everything they could. The girl said she wanted to die after they revived her the 1st time therefore IHO no matter what her parents would have done it was going to happen at a party, in her bedroom, after work. Kids today will find the means to do what they want. I just hope that I have the strength when I am a parent with a teenager to deal with these types of issues.
 FINALLY...words of wisdom!
From someone who knows first hand about a situation like this...the statement made by csorisi can't be more true.
When someone is in a situation like this there isn't anything anyone else can do.
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| Posted 7/10/08 8:18 PM |
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