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Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

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Shelly
She's 7!!!

Member since 8/05

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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

Posted by csorisi

Although I agree I wouldn't have been at a party if I had overdosed 3 weeks earlier, the article goes into some detail of what the parents tried to do but they feel that they did everything they could. The girl said she wanted to die after they revived her the 1st time therefore IHO no matter what her parents would have done it was going to happen at a party, in her bedroom, after work. Kids today will find the means to do what they want. I just hope that I have the strength when I am a parent with a teenager to deal with these types of issues.



I agree. BUT, if it was my child, NO WAY would they have the PRIVILEGE of a 2:30am curfew or be able to go to a party 3 weeks after OD'ing. If she wanted to go, she would be going with her mommy. Parents have to be tougher! Fight for your kids!!

I dated a guy who was a recovering addict. His mom had him arrested when she found him with coke. He hated her, went to rehab and afterwards, he took her out for dinner and thanked her for saving his life.

Children need to learn their actions have consequences. Unfortunately, this is a lesson this girl didn't learn, but I sure hope her friends did

Posted 7/10/08 9:04 PM
 
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DayDay
Livin' the Good Life....

Member since 9/06

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Dayna

Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

That is just sooo sad... what a shameChat Icon

Posted 7/10/08 9:26 PM
 

carolyns4cupcakes
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

Posted by Kerie-is-so-very

I cannot say I disagree with what everyone is saying but I still feel awful that her parents lost their little girl and now they are facing so much public scrutiny about their parenting decisions. I think they made human mistakes that happened to have very severe consequences and that their hearts were in the right place. They seem like they are willing to put themselves out there so that other people can learn. That takes some strength.

Long Island lost one of its children and she happened to be a strikingly beautiful girl.

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ITA. I agree with everyone but the bottom line is what Kerie said.

so very sad.

Posted 7/10/08 10:51 PM
 

HillW9608
Hello Summer!

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Hill

Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

I read the article this morning while I was waiting at a deli. I couldnt believe it, I just couldnt stop reading either.

I feel horrible for the parents.. I couldnt imagine what they going through Chat Icon

Posted 7/10/08 11:24 PM
 

GenLCSW
Baby # 3 is here!!!

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Genna

Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

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Posted 7/11/08 8:15 AM
 

LisaW
Time for me to FLY!

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Did I ever tell you that I hate people?

Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

I feel awful for the parents, but I have to agree with the OP's that say the parents just were not strict enough...

No way would I be allowed out AT ALL if I had done what she had done...18 or not. In fact, I had severe consequences at that age for doing much less. My mom was a true believer of tough love, and I was terrified of the consequences b/c I knew my parents would follow through...

I truly believe that many parents these days try way too hard to be a friend...

Posted 7/11/08 8:21 AM
 

MsMBV
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

Posted by DaniRella

Posted by SIBride06

Horrible Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

How do these kids afford these drugs?



that's another one of my questions.

I hate to say it but this type of drug has become so available and affordable.

Posted 7/11/08 9:20 AM
 

nov04libride
big brother <3

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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

I also thought it was very strange that the mom said she died on the day she was conceived. Waaaayyyyy TMI. Didn't need to know that.

Posted 7/11/08 9:24 AM
 

carolyns4cupcakes
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

Posted by nov04libride

I also thought it was very strange that the mom said she died on the day she was conceived. Waaaayyyyy TMI. Didn't need to know that.



It was her emotions speaking. She was thinking back. Poor Mom. I can't imagine her pain. She carried her daughter for 9 months and she watched her grow up only to find her dead on a couch with her pants soak and wet. That is the part disturbes me the most. I know this women doens't sleep at night. How could she?

Posted 7/11/08 10:55 AM
 

ChickPea
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

This is so sad...but i don't understand how if she was saying "you should have let me die" and she was brought into the ER for an OD, why she was not put on the psych ward even w/o her consent?

I was 21 years old and ended up in the ER because I had an eating disorder and they would not let me leave! Two doctors signed off and I lost all my rights. I was taken to a rehab facility, and not by my own will at all.

I feel really bad for her parents, I just think there maybe more to the story, just like the last article that made her out to be somewhat different.

Posted 7/11/08 11:12 AM
 

MsMBV
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

Posted by StayForever
It seems to have come out of the blue, but in all honesty, it's been right in our backyards all along.

This is such a true statement. So many people are shocked, but the reality is there has been a huge heroin problem on LI for a long time. But it stayed out of the media so people did not know. I graduated HS in 1991 in a very desirable SD in nassau & we had so many locker searches my sophomore year. They were not looking for weed, like many people suspected, they were looking for coke. heroin and weapons.

I also worked in a VERY popular night club for many years through the 1990's and 2000's that held teen nights. I cannot tell you how many girls I pulled out of bathroom stalls that went to the ER. One girl was 13 and from a wealthy neighborhood. This was a popular and "safe" night club. People are amazed when I tell them what I saw there.

Posted 7/11/08 11:27 AM
 

YankeeBride08
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Michelle

Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

Very sad story.


It's easy for a lot of people here to say "I will never let my kids do this" or "My parents would kick my *** regardless of what age I am"

You just don't know, especially when something like addiction could be a factor. It's always easier to pick apart what wrong with some hindsight. Although there are parents out there who may have not did their job, realize that there ARE parents out there too that do the best they can or that is possible for their child, and sometimes you still get the same result.

Posted 7/11/08 2:32 PM
 

sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!

Member since 1/07

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Tricia

Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

Posted by YankeeBride08

Very sad story.


It's easy for a lot of people here to say "I will never let my kids do this" or "My parents would kick my *** regardless of what age I am"

You just don't know, especially when something like addiction could be a factor. It's always easier to pick apart what wrong with some hindsight. Although there are parents out there who may have not did their job, realize that there ARE parents out there too that do the best they can or that is possible for their child, and sometimes you still get the same result.



Thank you for saying this. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 7/11/08 3:19 PM
 

Kerie-is-so-very
versatile!

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K

Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

Posted by Cakes

Posted by nov04libride

I also thought it was very strange that the mom said she died on the day she was conceived. Waaaayyyyy TMI. Didn't need to know that.



It was her emotions speaking. She was thinking back. Poor Mom. I can't imagine her pain. She carried her daughter for 9 months and she watched her grow up only to find her dead on a couch with her pants soak and wet. That is the part disturbes me the most. I know this women doens't sleep at night. How could she?



I also keep thinking about how she was found with her pants wet and in an awkward position. It shows how the image of the hot, fun loving 18 year old can be so fragile. I don't have a problem with the mom saying that her daughter was conceived on the same date. The mom does not have to speak to the media at all but her doing so is helping to open a lot of people's eyes.

Posted 7/12/08 12:11 AM
 

Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!

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Gerty ®

Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

Posted by YankeeBride08

Very sad story.


It's easy for a lot of people here to say "I will never let my kids do this" or "My parents would kick my *** regardless of what age I am"

You just don't know, especially when something like addiction could be a factor. It's always easier to pick apart what wrong with some hindsight. Although there are parents out there who may have not did their job, realize that there ARE parents out there too that do the best they can or that is possible for their child, and sometimes you still get the same result.



I 100% agree with this. My mom raised five kids - four completely normal people and one who is a drug addict/alcoholic...so who knows.
I just felt that they could have been a little more strict.

Posted 7/12/08 12:16 AM
 

Jul1013
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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

Very sad Chat Icon

Posted 7/13/08 2:58 PM
 

DaniF18
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Daniella

Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

What really bothers me is that just because she was 18...her parents are unable to make medical decisions for her....i mean THEY paid of her health insurance....she lived under THEIR roof.....Shes not considered old enough to drink or smoke....but old enough to make medical decisions....whats wrong with this picture?!?!

Posted 7/13/08 3:19 PM
 

cjik
Welcome 2010!

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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

Posted by Mssissy

Unfortunately at 18 they could NOT force her. They could not make her get on a plane, they could not make her sign herself into rehab. They could have given her an ultimatium and maybe they did. They did mention she started working and coming home by curfew. They felt it was a turning point.

I don't know, I'm sure there is even more to the story they didn't share. The ex-boyfriend was under investigation for a long time and was just arrested. Maybe the aren't telling the whole story right now.

It's so sad. I just hope they can get the law passed. It certainly couldn't hurt to have a parent in control of the situation till at LEAST drinking age!




No, after 18 you cannot force someone to go to rehab or stay home. I knew someone once who had drug problems. He was arrested and because of his behavior and past history, the court wanted him to go to rehab, not jail. He chose jail. He was over 18 and his parents had little say unless he was mentally incompetent.

It's hard to know if they were too lenient or not. I really wouldn't judge them though--these situations are so hard to deal with, really heartbreaking.

I have heard most drugs are cheap these days too--cheaper than alcohol at times. Too bad it's so easy to find and get them.

Posted 7/13/08 4:06 PM
 

neenie

Member since 5/05

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Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

Posted by LisaW
I truly believe that many parents these days try way too hard to be a friend...


ITA! I said this on another thread too.

Posted 7/13/08 4:10 PM
 

PegaLega
Lets Get This!!!!!

Member since 1/07

1110 total posts

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Peggie

Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

Posted by YankeeBride08

Very sad story.


It's easy for a lot of people here to say "I will never let my kids do this" or "My parents would kick my *** regardless of what age I am"

You just don't know, especially when something like addiction could be a factor. It's always easier to pick apart what wrong with some hindsight. Although there are parents out there who may have not did their job, realize that there ARE parents out there too that do the best they can or that is possible for their child, and sometimes you still get the same result.



ITA< as much as I am one of those people whose parents would Wooop my asss if that was me-its not something that is taught in "parenting school" you dont learn how to deal with something like an addiction, you do the best you can but sometimes that isnt enough. Do i think she should have been allowed to go to that party 3 weeks after technically ODing and dying-HELLZ NO! But that is me. They might have felt they could trust her-who knows but them.

Not that i want to ever tell this story but I think it should be-DH lost his best friend who came from an amazing family, had amazing friends and a million and one good things coming his way....he was addicted, he finally got in trouble and they 'sentenced' him to rehab bc if he tested positive again or was found with it he was going to jail. he didnt want to go to jail so he did rehab-but then found something else that could cover his addictive drug so he tested clean-THAT killed him-his mother found him in her house, not even 20 feet away from her bedroom-she STILL says its her fault, still wishes she could have done more, but he just didnt want anyones help. His death affected a whole neighborhood and still to this day we all think "we should have done more" but when is the line drawn that you cant help someone bc they dont want it? Unfortunately-his death has made MANY of his friends stop their addiction and get help, truth of the matter is that he save MORE lives just by losing his.

Hopefully her friends that are doing the same thing open their eyes to reality and see that they arent invincible and it IS possible, no matter how smart you think you are about doing it. Maybe her life will be remembered for saving one of her friends....maybe

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Posted 7/13/08 7:02 PM
 

Jackie24
~We Did it~

Member since 7/06

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Jackie

Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

Posted by nrthshgrl

At 18, if I od' the week before, there wasn't a shot I was going to a party. I would've had to be prepared to move out & support myself. Not sure if my parents would have actually done it, but they would have made me think I was getting kicked out.

Being a parent to someone involved in drugs has to be one of the hardest jobs. You'd be afraid if you kick them out, where they will sleep, eat & what they would do for money and/or drugs. You're afraid to let them stay & enable them. I can't even imagine.



My thoughts exactly, if they were totally clueless ok, but she OVERDOSED three weeks before......I just don't get how "lenient" they were.....my heart goes out to them either way, but something about it all seems a bit "off"

Posted 7/14/08 8:40 PM
 

lipglossjunky73
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<3

Re: Newsday articile on the Seaford girl

As the stepmom of a teenager, i have to say that its much harder today to control them or make them do anything that they don't want to do. I am speaking from a perspective where her mom doesn't back us up though....Chat Icon

Posted 7/14/08 10:58 PM
 
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